CHAPTER THREE

Loki

My mind is like a fucking war zone right now. Memories combat each other to outdo themselves. The good, the very fucking good, and then the extremely bad bulldoze their way in and overtake, detonating the rest to smithereens like a damn apocalypse.

It's not bad enough receiving a phone call from Bea—hearing her uncontrolled and intoxicated like that and fearing for her safety—but having to drive and pick her up, seeing her for the first time in so long like that, in that state , and then for her to not even remember?

It's like a punch to the gut all over again.

She was my sweet, innocent Bea.

I never ever thought of her as being the type to annihilate herself like that.

Seeing it in real-time, being there to pick her up off the floor and hold her hair back as she puked and then passed out in my arms, I swear I have never felt so fucking out of my depth in my life.

All I wanted to do was protect her.

To hold her all night long and take her pain away.

But she walked out on me.

She didn't protect me when I needed her .

I had to ensure she was back at the clubhouse and safe, but that was all I was capable of. As much as I wanted to stay in my room and watch over her, make sure she slept through the night and woke up knowing she was protected—I just didn't have it in me.

Not after everything.

The best I could do was write out the note for her to find, leave her some painkillers and water, and then spend the night in my tech den, waiting for her to make her appearance in the morning.

Needless to say, I haven't slept a fucking wink.

Seeing Bea, even though she was a complete mess, has stirred something in me. Then, just now, having an actual conversation with her, even if she is a little pale from being hungover, she's still the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.

Only now, she's a woman.

She's filled out, even with her short frame. Her hips are wider than they were, giving her a curvy figure, which is so fucking sexy on her. Not to mention her breasts, which have definitely gotten bigger. I'm not too ashamed to admit I looked. The way her hair is cut short to her shoulders but still with that wave she always had. It suits her. Let alone the way it makes the flecks of gold sparkle in her luminous green eyes. She is simply breathtaking.

But the thing that really stood out to me was the septum ring she has through her cute little button nose. It's sexy as fuck, giving her that little bit of a harder edge she was missing when she was younger.

I wasn't expecting Bea to be this freaking goddess, and that every time I look at her, my cock instantly reacts. But I can't think about any of this right now. I have a job to do. I am the vice president of LA Defiance. It doesn't matter that the love of my fucking life and the woman who completely ruined me just walked back into my world. I need to be the biker and brother I am supposed to be.

My personal life has to be put on hold—the club always comes first.

Rolling my shoulders, I risk another glance toward Bea as I ascend the stairs to the Chapel. She's slowly sipping on her coffee, and my chest squeezes tightly. Then Theo starts walking over to sit with her, so I turn my head away, not wanting my best friend and her brother to see me staring.

I need to focus anyway.

Walking into the Chapel, Alpha spots me as I make my way to my designated seat to his left. I grab my laptop to open it in front of me.

He lets out a soft chuckle. "Been a big night for you, VP," he states, not offering anything further other than a cheesy smirk.

Scowling, I huff. "I don't even know where to begin. So how about we just don't?"

Alpha snickers. "Hearing you loud and clear. If you need to vent, I'm always here."

"Thanks, Pres. For now, let's have Church like any other normal day."

He nods while the rest of my brothers file into the room, and then he bangs his gavel on the desk. "Church is in session. Is everyone here?"

"Yeah, Pres, everyone is accounted for," I tell him.

He sits taller, placing his hands on the table in front of him. "All right… I know we had our celebration last night to welcome Montana into the club officially."

Everyone cheers as Montana, our newest patched member, chuckles, even if he does look a little green from celebrating hard last night. Not only did he get his patch, but he also claimed Rhyan as his Old Lady. So, he had plenty to celebrate.

He steps away from the wall and smiles. "Thanks for allowing me into this Church session. I know, technically, I still have to earn my place here, but I am thankful I get to sit in this one today… well, stand."

We smile as he moves back to the wall, lifting his foot to rest against the sheetrock. His arms cross over his chest.

The seats at this table are taken by the higher-ranking brothers. Once you work your way up in the club, you earn your seat at the table. Montana is right—he shouldn't even be in Church, but this meeting concerns him, so he needs to be here.

Alpha dips his chin, then starts the meeting officially. "Atlas… that asshole caused a lot of damage to Montana and Rhyan, and we have him in holding. We could easily have ended his life, but as I told Montana, I have bigger plans for him."

We all sit up taller, listening as he continues, "But before we carry that out, I am going to let you have some fun with him first, Montana."

Montana steps forward. "Oh, yeah… what do you have in mind?"

Sinking back in my chair, a memory catches hold of something Alpha said, " I'm gonna let you have some fun, " and instantly, I'm pulled from the conversation with my brothers and straight back to my childhood with Bea. I can't help it—the recollection hits with such an intense force that I have to just let it replay through my mind.

Crawling into Bea's window, I knew Theo would be in his room down the hall studying for his test at school tomorrow. I probably should have been, too, but I tended to wing those things. I always did, and somehow, I got by. Flicking the curtain back, I stepped through onto her bench seat beneath her window. Looking in, I saw her lying on her stomach, legs bent up and kicking back and forth as she listened to music on her iPod, studying. She had no clue I was even coming through her window, and it made me smile that I could sneak in like this, and no one knew—especially not Theo.

We grew up next door to each other. Theo was two years older than me. I was a year older than Bea. And Jason, my brother, was two years younger than her. We all grew up together as the best of friends, being close in age.

Quietly making my way over to her bed, I stepped in behind her, then leaned over and wrapped my hand around her mouth to stop her from screaming. Her body jerked, leaping around to try to defend herself from whatever intruder was attacking, but when she spotted me with a huge smirk on my face, she stopped fighting. Then she reached out, and pulled me down onto the bed with her, her earbuds falling out of her ears as she dropped to the mattress.

"What are you doing here, Alex? It's a school night, and Theo's just down the hall. What if he comes in and sees you?" she whispered, her smile only growing wider.

Reaching out, I slid a strand of hair behind her ear and shrugged. "Then I guess we better get out of here. I'm gonna let you have some fun tonight, Bea."

She widened her eyes, and excitement flowed through her. "Alex, we're teens. What the hell are we gonna do on a school night?"

Grinning, I jumped off her bed, gesturing for her to take her hand in mine. "Do you trust me?"

She chuckled loudly, then smacked her hand to her mouth to cover the noise. "Not at all. You're always leading me astray."

I reached into my back pocket and pulled out a packet of Mike and Ike sour candies. Bea's eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas as I tossed them at her, and she caught them, clutching them to her chest. "You know how you were desperate to see the movie Valentine's Day , even though I think it is a stupid representation of a holiday that's all about making money—"

"You're rambling, Alex." She chuckled.

Exhaling, I shrugged. "The drive-in is playing it tonight. I thought we could sneak in and watch it. Hence why I got you your fav snack."

She reached for her coat, slid on her shoes, and grabbed my hand, pulling me toward her window. "You know, Alex Grimes, for a guy who says he doesn't do romance, you sure are trying to fool me."

I snorted, slapped her ass, and helped her out of the window. As I drove us to the drive-in, she sucked on those damn sour candies like she always did, pulling the cutest face every time she ate one. Her face crinkled like it was the worst thing she had ever eaten, but somehow, she loved them.

It was the best thing to witness.

I lived for it.

I lived for her.

Pulling up at the back of the drive-in, I yanked out the walkies that my brother Jason had been able to connect to the frequency of the theater. He was always great at tech shit like that. So I tuned into the movie and spent the entire time watching Bea, enjoying the movie she was so desperate to see. I didn't care that it was a chick flick. All I cared about was making her happy.

And that made me happy.

She sucked on her last sour candy, trying to flick the box to see if there were any more. "Dammit, I'm all out," she whimpered.

I grinned, reaching across her, and flipped open the glove compartment to reveal another couple of boxes.

Her head snapped back to look at me, and her smile lit up the entire night sky. "I swear, Alex, you are the best thing that ever happened to me."

"You're just saying that because I'm bribing you with candy."

Her smile turned sincere, but she leaned across the seat, her hand gently stroking my cheek as she stared into my eyes. "I mean it, Alex… I don't know what I would do without you. I… I love you."

"Loki, what do you think?" Alpha asks, gaining my attention. My eyes snapped to him, pulling me from the memory of when Bea first told me she loved me. My heart races as I stare at my president, trying to steady my breathing. He tilts his head like he's waiting for me to answer.

"Sorry… what?" I reply, because I have absolutely no clue what they were talking about.

He narrows his eyes but continues, "Are you on board with the plan?"

I have no fucking clue what the plan is. Time to wing it. "Yeah, sure," I reply, hoping that's the right answer.

Alpha smirks, turning his attention to Montana. "You happy for it to go down this way?"

Montana smiles, nodding his head. "Fuck yeah! More than happy, Pres. This is a far better punishment for Atlas for hurting my girl than what I could have ever dreamed of."

My ears prick up because I know I have obviously missed vital information about Alpha's plans for Atlas and how we're going to punish him. But I figure Alpha will loop me in soon enough.

"Okay, let's get the ball rolling," Alpha states, bangs his gavel on the table, and the guys all stand.

Shit, I literally missed the whole damn thing.

I follow after everyone else as they all start walking out of the Chapel and down the stairs. I have no damn idea what we're doing, so I decide to pretend like I know what's going on. The guys head out toward the farm, so I keep step behind them, with no clue what's about to happen.

We make our way toward the pigsty. Nacho, Taco, Fajita, and Salsa are roaming about, playing in the mud as all of us step up to the side of their enclosure. Alpha urges Montana to move forward, and he does while Ink walks out from the back of the enclosure with Atlas, ushering him through the pigsty.

He's pale, clearly weak from his three weeks held hostage here at the clubhouse.

The wait for him must have been mentally taxing.

And that's been the entire point.

To keep him sitting, waiting, guessing what will be his punishment for wronging the club and its members.

He hurt one of our women. Drugged her, branded her as his own, and threatened Montana's mother as well.

You even attempt to hurt one of our brothers, we will make you suffer.

And that's what we're doing to Atlas now.

Showing him what Defiance is made of.

Exactly who he messed with.

Atlas stumbles through the mud. Haven, Alpha's Old Lady, must have made the sty extra muddy this morning because, from what I can remember, it's normally not this bad. Wes thrusts Atlas forward, his eyes focusing on the mass of bikers looking at him. Montana stands front and center, and Atlas smirks, even though I can tell he's tired. Maybe it's more like weak.

"You think keeping me malnourished and then bringing me here to some fucking barnyard is going to break me, Noah?" Atlas spits at Montana's feet.

Wes punches Atlas in the ribs, causing him to hunch over while letting out a heavy breath.

Montana chuckles. "First of all, you will call me Montana, not Noah. And secondly, I do think we are going to break you."

A slow grin forms on Atlas' face, and he shrugs. "Why should I do anything you tell me to do?"

Montana laughs, the sound almost maniacal as he reaches for the cattle prod on the nearest wall, pressing the button to charge the electrical current. Altas' eyes widen as the rest of us smirk.

"Because, if you don't, things are going to get very, very painful for you," Montana states matter- of-fact.

Atlas stands taller, not budging in his bravado. "I've been through pain you can't possibly imagine. Whatever it is you want me to do, Noah, I'm not gonna do it!"

Montana glances at Alpha, seeking approval. Alpha nods, and Montana unlatches the gate in front of him, walking into the pigsty along with Atlas and Wes. South quickly latches the gate again to keep the pigs in their enclosure as they snort and mess about around the three men. Montana slowly steps up to Atlas, his eyes following Montana's movements eagerly. "You think you look threatening, Noah? You just look like you're trying to show off to your boyfriends here."

Montana doesn't hesitate, drawing his fist back and slamming it into Atlas' nose. Blood spurts out as he drops to one knee. "Fuck! You broke my nose, you asshole."

We all chuckle as Montana shrugs, lifting the cattle prod into his line of sight, pressing the button once more, the electrical current flowing effortlessly. "You think I'm trying to show off? In that case, let's give them a show . Get on your knees," Montana states, a smirk on his face as Atlas widens his eyes like he's confused by what's happening.

Wes shoves Atlas' shoulders, trying to force him down onto both knees, but he struggles against him. So, Montana brings the cattle prod up and slams it right near Atlas' balls, letting the charge fire off. Atlas screams, instantly dropping to both knees in front of him. His nostrils flare as he breathes harshly, trying to recover from the electrical shock.

Montana slides the cattle prod under Atlas' chin, forcing him to look up, his eyes wide as he pants for breath. I have to admit, seeing Montana take control like this is thrilling after training him up from being a prospect.

He really has come into his own.

Montana shakes his head, narrowing his eyes on his archnemesis. "You make sneers and taunt my club, my brotherhood . Now, it's time you behave like the joke you are. Get on all fours and pretend to be a pig," Montana demands.

Atlas glances up and glares at him. "The fuck are you talking about?"

Montana kicks Atlas in his ass, making his hands fall into the mud so he is on all fours. "I'm talking about the noises, the rolling in the mud. You have four muses here in the pigsty with you. Just watch them and take their lead."

Atlas fixes a look at Montana with such fierce intent that I see hatred in his eyes. "You're trying to humiliate me, you fucking cunt!"

Montana chuckles, rolling his shoulders. "You messed with Defiance. You messed with me and the people I love… Now. Be. A. Motherfucking. Pig." He surges the cattle prod toward Atlas again, threatening to zap him with it once more, but Atlas tenses and starts crawling reluctantly through the mud.

The rest of us glance around at each other, all smirking as Atlas slowly crawls like a damn pig. Montana follows behind, the other pigs curious as to what's going on in their enclosure.

"I don't hear any noises," Montana orders.

Atlas groans and softly starts oinking. You can't wipe the smile from Montana's face. Quietly, I pull my cell from my pocket and begin recording.

So he has a memory of this moment.

The moment when he truly stepped into his 1% patch.

Nacho is the most curious of the pigs, and she wanders over to Atlas, bumping into his side as he crawls around the enclosure. He wobbles and falls face-first into the mud, which covers his clothing, drenching him in the brown mess.

Montana steps up to him, pressing his boot into Atlas' back. "Pigs love the mud, don't they, Atlas?"

Atlas glances up at Montana, who points the cattle prod at his face, and Atlas flares his nostrils. "Oink, oink," he simply replies, now understanding his place in the ecosystem here.

The rest of us chuckle as Montana withdraws his boot from Atlas' back, allowing him from the mud to roam around the enclosure with the other pigs. We continue to watch Atlas make a complete fool of himself.

Sometimes I have to admit, revenge on those who wronged us can be so fucking sweet. But we're not done with this asshole just yet—I'm sure of it.

Wes walks over to the food trough, shovels out a handful of slops, and hurls it straight at Atlas. Some of the messy goo slamming straight onto his face.

The rest of us laugh as Atlas tries to scoop it from his eyes, and at the same time, the other pigs become more and more curious about this intruder in their home. They make their way over to Atlas, nudging him, shoving him over, and pushing him back into the mud. He groans, puffing and panting, trying to keep himself moving, almost racing away from the other pigs while the rest of us watch in delight.

These pigs get hungry.

Especially when someone is covered in their food and blood.

There's a reason we have them in the first place.

I smirk in understanding that this is probably the plan I missed out on in the meeting—irritate the pigs in their own home until they get fed up with Atlas, and then they will take care of him.

Just as Atlas tries to scurry away from Salsa, she nips at his calf, taking a chunk out of his leg.

Atlas lets out a yelp, jumping to his feet. "It bit me. That fucking pig bit me!" he snaps, pointing at her, racing for the entry where the rest of us are. Sheer panic is on his face, and the rest of the pigs are fresh on his tail.

They have the scent of blood and fresh meat now.

They won't stop.

Montana and Wes move quickly with him. They don't want to get caught in the feeding frenzy either. Montana and Wes jump the fence before Atlas can, and then Montana holds out the cattle prod, aiming it at Atlas and forcing him to stay put behind the enclosure fence.

Atlas glares at Montana, the pigs nudging his legs, nipping and gnawing on his skin. Atlas tries to push them away, then turns to face us all. "Help me! They're gonna fucking eat me."

Montana shrugs. "That's the fucking point, Atlas."

He stares at Montana, the person he grew up with in foster care, and shakes his head. "So this is how it's going to end for us, huh? You're gonna feed me to some damn filth-monger!"

Montana rolls his shoulders, clicking his tongue to the roof of his mouth. "There could be another way out of this for you, Atlas—"

"Anything. I'll do fucking anything! Just get me the hell out of this fucking mad house," he yells.

Montana glances at Alpha, and he nods in confirmation while I furrow my brows.

I clearly missed a hell of a lot more in the meeting than I realized.

This is another part of this plan.

Why the fuck wasn't I paying attention?

"You have to do exactly as we tell you, Atlas. Follow our instructions to the letter, and then at the end of it… we will let you go," Alpha tells him.

I snap my head around to Alpha. What the fuck?

My eyes widen in shock at this news.

Atlas nods his head in utter desperation. "I'll do it. I'll do anything you ask of me."

Alpha tilts his chin in approval. Montana and Wes each grip a side of Atlas, then yank him over the gate, dropping him to his knees in front of us.

He glances up, panting for breath, his eyes pleading. "Thank you! I swear I will do whatever you want. Just keep those fucking pigs away from me."

Alpha chuckles, resting his hand on Atlas' shoulder, a sinister smile crossing his face. He's up to something. "So, tell me, Atlas… do you know how to drive a truck?"