16. Ever

16

Ever

This was a big night. Tracy must have felt it, too. He'd gotten a haircut and messaged me to borrow some clothes and hair products, which meant he was treating it like a special occasion, same as me.

In my case, it was more than the one-year anniversary of the night we'd met. There was a lot I'd been wanting to say to him, and there was something I needed to show him, and tonight was the night.

I'd known for a long time that we were so much more than friends with benefits. Tracy was everything to me. He'd said early on that he didn't want a relationship, but I'd said the same thing and I'd totally changed my mind. I hoped he had, too.

It was tough to know how this conversation was going to go over. Tracy held his cards very close to his chest, so I was never sure about what he was thinking. But he needed to know how I felt.

After we ended our video call, I couldn't concentrate on the task at hand. I'd been trying to finalize some banner designs, but I could do that later. I left my office and paced around the ground floor while I waited for Tracy to arrive.

The fitness center was progressing, which was good since the grand opening was only two months out. Front and center was a classy reception area with a curved, polished wood counter, where members would check in and newbies could ask about memberships. Behind that was an eight-by-eight-foot panel made of etched Plexiglass, embellished with the word EverFit above the logo, which was a stylized barbell. It was exactly what I'd envisioned.

I snapped a photo of the counter and logo and posted it to social media with the caption, "It's all coming together!" Then I tried to relax in one of the two seating areas flanking the front door. I'd wanted a place for people to congregate and chat before or after working out, so I'd gone with comfortable chairs upholstered in durable, royal blue fabric, which echoed my blue and orange EverFit logo. I was too keyed up to stay seated though, so I leapt right back up and started pacing around again.

Fortunately, Tracy opted to take a Lyft instead of the bus, so in just a few minutes he texted to tell me: I'm outside.

I hurried to the door and unlocked it, and then I held it open for him as he stepped over the threshold. Once again, seeing him in my clothes did something to me. I told him, "You look amazing," and he flashed me a shy smile.

"Thanks. So do you. But then, you always do." He gave me a hug, and then he looked around and said, "Wow. I never thought a gym could be beautiful, but this is."

"Thanks. I'm really happy with it."

He indicated the front wall, where the floor-to-ceiling windows were covered in sheets of white plastic to block the view from the street. "When do those come off?"

"Right before the grand opening. I want to make it clear this place is still under construction, to discourage people from coming inside and ending up in a work zone."

"Makes sense." He shifted the bag on his shoulder and asked, "So, what am I interrupting, and how can I help?"

"I was trying to make a final decision on some banner designs, but it can wait until Monday. My graphic designer doesn't work on weekends anyway."

"Where are you putting them?"

"Since the ceiling is so high, I had the idea to hang color-coded banners above each workout zone. They'll have a stylized figure lifting weights, or running on a treadmill, or whatever the equipment is at that station. I think it'll add visual interest and help newbies find their way around."

"That's a good idea."

"I hope so. Now that it's almost done and most of the equipment is in place, it's all about finishing touches and trying to make it seem welcoming. It feels cavernous and a bit too sterile right now."

"Just wait. Once it's open and full of people and energy, it's all going to come to life. Everyone's going to feel welcome and comfortable here."

"You sound pretty sure of that."

"That's because I know you. You're warm, and kind, and passionate, and you make everyone you meet feel important and special. You—" Tracy stopped talking abruptly and looked at me with uncertainty in his eyes. After a moment, he whispered, "I hope I haven't read too much into this."

"Into what?"

"You and me." He seemed so vulnerable all of a sudden. "I've never known anyone like you, Ever. There's this light that radiates from you, and for the last couple of months, I've felt so lucky to live in its glow. I came here wanting to talk to you about us, but now I'm scared that I've read too much into your kindness."

"I was planning to talk to you tonight, too. I need to tell you how I feel." I took his hands in mine and met his gaze. "You're everything to me, Tracy, and I don't want us to be friends with benefits. I want you to be mine."

His dark eyes went wide with surprise. "But you said you didn't want a relationship."

"That was fear talking. My family taught me the people you love the most leave you. If I didn't let anyone in, it wouldn't hurt so much when they left me behind." I gently traced his cheekbone as I said, "But we're already in a relationship, no matter what we were trying to call it. And instead of feeling worried or insecure, I'm happier than I've ever been. It's not just me anymore. I really believe you have my back, just like I have yours."

"I do. Always." He grinned and told me, "It's funny, today my friends said we were already in a relationship, but neither of us realized it. Really though, I wasn't sure where you stood, so I let my insecurity get in the way of talking to you about it."

"I should have said something sooner."

"You told me when you were ready, and I did the same thing." I nodded, and he said, "I'm glad your apartment was still under construction last month. I know neither of us would have just let this end when you moved out, but I think we needed that extra time. I doubt we would have been ready to open up like this a month ago."

"You're right, and that reminds me." I took his hand and told him, "I need to show you something."

Tracy let me lead him through the gym and up the back stairs to the apartment. I held the door open for him, and as he stepped inside, he murmured, "Oh wow, it's beautiful."

The apartment was fully built out and completely furnished. "It took an extra month because I had some adjustments to make," I explained. "I really wanted it to be cozy."

"You succeeded. I love all the shades of blue." The walls were powder blue, while the couch and chairs had been recovered in a deep blue fabric. The color scheme was also reflected in the throw pillows and area rugs.

"That was your suggestion. So was that." I gestured to the left, where new walls totally separated the bedroom from the living area.

I followed him into the bedroom, which was done up in deeper shades of blue, from the walls and curtains to the linens on the king-sized bed. "Over there is what I've been dying to show you." I pointed to the far end of the room.

Tracy walked over to the reading nook, which was right in front of the windows. An indigo blue recliner draped in a throw blanket sat beside a small table with a reading lamp. Floor-to-ceiling built-in shelves bracketed both sides of the space, linked together with low shelves under a bench seat that spanned the windows.

There was an envelope with a stick-on red bow on the chair, and I told him, "That's for you."

He opened the envelope and looked confused as he turned to me. "It's a gift certificate to a bookstore."

"I debated filling the shelves for you, but I thought you'd have more fun picking out books on your own."

"So, this…"

"Is for you. The word I kept shooting for was cozy, and I'm not sure if I got there. I figure we can block it off with some free-standing shelves if you'd like it to feel more enclosed."

"Why did you do all of this?"

"Because I want you to move in with me, Tracy. I know it might seem fast, but the thing is, we're already living together, and I'm loving every minute of it. The only thing that would make it better would be sharing a bed every night."

I looked around and added, "I get that this isn't ideal. When it was just me, I thought it would be convenient to live where I work. But now that there's more to my life than my job, I can see why it'd be better to fully leave work behind at the end of the day."

Before he could say no, I explained, "I had my construction crew add a private entrance and a back staircase, so we can come and go from the apartment without having to cut through the rest of the building. But ultimately, I want to buy us a house. It'll probably be a year or two before I can afford it, assuming the fitness center is a success. And yes, an argument could be made for staying in our current apartment until I can buy us something, but that place is Roger's, and I'm hoping this will feel like home for both of us. Also?—"

Tracy grabbed my shoulders and cut me off with a kiss. Then he smiled at me and said, "The answer is yes. You don't have to keep selling it."

That made me smile, too. "Really? You'll move in with me, even though I'm asking you to live above a gym?"

"This apartment is amazing, and I appreciate the fact that you went out of your way to make sure I'm comfortable here. But I'd live anywhere with you, Ever. I just want to be wherever you are."

"That makes me so happy."

I loved the fact that he was being so open with me, and he wasn't done yet. Tracy tossed his messenger bag onto the bed, and as I drew him into my arms, he said, "I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I want you to know I'm done holding back. I was always so afraid to be vulnerable, but I trust you, Ever, and I want you to know I'm all in."

"So am I."

After spending so much of my life being afraid of letting anyone get too close to me, this was surprisingly easy. About the only thing I could compare it to was the time Jeff Judge, my most famous client, took me tandem skydiving for my thirty-fifth birthday. I'd been riddled with fear and anxiety ahead of time, but once we were up in the plane, all I had to do was take the leap. After that, it was effortless and exhilarating.

I felt a surge of joy as I kissed Tracy and he melted into me. We moved onto the bed, practically devouring each other and discarding our clothing until both of us were naked. After a while, he whispered, "I need you to fuck me."

I sat up, so I could see his expression. "Are you sure?" I expected to see fear, and possibly some uncertainty, but all I saw was trust in his eyes.

"Positive. Please just go slow."

"I will, I promise." I cupped his cheek and told him, "I need you to promise me something, too."

"What's that?"

"Keep talking to me all through this. Tell me what you like, and what you don't. I want to know how you're feeling, and if you want to stop at any point, just say the word."

"Okay."

He opened the messenger bag and showed me the supplies he'd brought. He'd included condoms, but we'd both been tested and neither of us was going to sleep with anyone else, so we agreed they weren't needed. He also mentioned he'd prepped himself ahead of time, and I thought all of that was a good sign. It told me he'd really thought about this, and that it wasn't an impulsive decision.

I grabbed some lube and took my time working him open. I jerked him off at the same time, and I loved watching him relax and enjoy what was happening.

When he seemed ready, I worked some more lube into him, slicked my cock, and knelt between his spread legs. As my tip pressed against his hole, I cupped his cheek and whispered, "Breathe, baby." He'd started to tense up, and it seemed like he was getting nervous. He met my gaze as I asked, "Want me to keep going?"

"Yes." No hesitation.

I pushed into him slowly, while coaching him through it. He managed to relax enough to let me in, inch by inch, until my body was pressed against his. I held still to let him get used to it, and I told him, "You did it. You took all of me." He looked relieved, but the way his brow was knit told me there was some discomfort involved.

I started to move in him, slowly at first. When my cock grazed his prostate, his breath caught, and some of the tension left his body. I shifted a bit and positioned his ankles on my shoulders, and as I fucked him harder, I started hitting that spot over and over again.

A very obvious change came over him. He began to move with me, meeting each thrust with a rock of his hips. Pretty soon, we established a steady rhythm. It was amazing to watch his transformation from worried and uncomfortable to totally relaxed and enjoying himself.

Tracy looked up at me and smiled, and I murmured, "You're so beautiful." He really was. His dark eyes were full of trust and light and joy, and as I held his gaze, I felt totally connected to him.

Now that I knew he was okay, I could relax, too. I braced my hands against the headboard and started fucking him harder still, and he moaned and threw his head back. I leaned in and kissed his exposed neck, and then I nipped his ear and said, "Look at me, baby."

He complied immediately, and when he whispered, "Harder, please," it drove me wild.

Tracy moaned and bucked beneath me as I slammed into his ass. When I grasped his cock and started jerking him off, he began thrusting into my fist. I pressed my mouth to his in a demanding kiss, and then I nipped his earlobe and practically growled the words, "You're mine."

His reply came out in a series of short bursts. "Yes. Fuck yes. I'm yours."

Moments later, a yell tore from me as I shot deep into his ass. I drove myself into him again and again as I came, claiming him at the most primal level. It was unbelievably intense.

While that was going on, Tracy moaned and started shooting onto his stomach. I was still gripping his cock, which I only became aware of once my orgasm started to ebb. He fell back against the pillows, and I let go of him and started to pull out. But he mumbled, "No, not yet. Stay in me a little longer."

I pushed all the way back in and carefully repositioned his legs, lifting his ankles off my shoulders as we caught our breath. His skin was flushed and glistening with sweat, and I thought he looked sexier than ever.

It took him a moment to come back to himself. Finally, he grinned at me and murmured, "That was incredible."

"For me, too." I ran my hands down his thighs and said, "You're going to be sore tomorrow."

His grin got even wider. "Totally worth it."

When I shifted slightly, my cock slid out of his ass. "Oops. I was trying to stay inside you until you told me you had enough."

"No, that was perfect. I wanted to feel you go soft inside me." I dropped onto the mattress beside him, and he turned his head to look at me. "It's almost like… like I wanted to know I'd taken you all the way from beginning to end. Is that weird?"

"Nope. Not weird at all."

As I lightly traced his jaw, he said, "I'm not sure if I'm going to be up for going out to dinner this evening. Is that okay?"

"Of course. I'll get us some sushi to go instead. Do you want to spend the night here or go back to Roger's apartment?"

"Here, for sure."

"Perfect. I'll swing by and pick up Phil while I'm out getting dinner."

His eyelids were getting heavy. "Sounds good." I retrieved a couple of wash cloths from the bathroom and cleaned his cum from his chest and stomach. Then I covered him with a throw blanket, since he was on top of the duvet. He mumbled, "I love it when you take care of me," and drifted off a moment later.

Before I got busy showering and running errands, I made a conscious decision to stop and enjoy the moment. A wonderful feeling of contentment settled over me as I rested my hand on his and watched him sleep.

The way he trusted me touched my heart. I'd do anything to keep him safe and make him happy.

I had some things I needed to figure out—and soon. After this weekend, my schedule was going to be jam-packed with finishing the hiring process and training my staff, networking and promoting the business, beginning membership sales, and taking care of a million last-minute details before the fitness center opened in eight short weeks. And of course, once it opened, I'd be busier than ever trying to manage the day-to-day operations.

I'd sunk everything I had into this place. I'd made a lot of promises to my followers, and soon my staff would be depending on me for their livelihood. I didn't take that responsibility lightly.

At the same time, Tracy meant the world to me, and it was vitally important to me that he didn't feel like he was getting lost in the shuffle. I had to find a work-life balance—something I'd always failed at in a big way.

He deserved that. And really, I did, too.