Chapter Twenty-Eight

Walking into my house, finally free from Luca and his Mexican drama, is like a breath of fresh air.

I dump my bags on the floor and flop face-down on the couch, letting out a good, solid scream into the cushions. Then, grabbing the remote, I figure the best way to shake off the stress is to dive into a cheesy romantic movie and just melt into the couch.

Man, I wish I could have a real glass of wine right now. Those non-alcoholic ones never made any sense to me. Might as well drink grape juice–it"s cheaper and tastes better. So, I opt for the next best thing and make myself a cup of tea, pretending it"s the wine my brain is desperately craving.

I flip through two movies without even focusing on what"s happening on screen. But who cares? They all follow the same basic plot–girl loves boy, boy acts like a jerk, and in the end, they figure it out and live happily ever after.

Maybe I"m just projecting my own messed-up feelings onto these make-believe characters, finding some weird comfort in the predictability of their crazy love stories.

The sound of my phone going off surprises me. With Grazia and I in a fight, and Luca no longer talking to me, it's pretty much just my father who calls or texts, and he's off on a business trip so I won't hear from him for a few days.

My heart jumps when I see Luca's name on the screen, and even more so when I see that it's him asking me to come and see him.

My heart screams "YES!", but I need to be careful of what this means. I don't want to seem too eager, in case what Luca has to say is just more bad news.

I text back:

I'd like to talk too. But I'm exhausted and won't be able to drive both ways. Can I sleep on the couch and leave first thing in the morning?

He might think I'm just trying to get him back into bed, and that's okay, but I truthfully cannot do a return trip from the city tonight.

It's been too much of a weekend, flying to Mexico and back, putting on a show for Carlos' people. And then falling asleep with a stabbing pain in my chest after realizing that Luca was still uninterested in seeing things from my point of view. That to him I was now nothing more than a warm place to stick his dick whenever he was feeling horny.

I wish I knew how to make him see that my feelings for him are as real as they get. Although, if he's read my letter, maybe he is finally seeing that.

I stare at my phone until I see his reply pop up:

Okay, sure. See you soon.

I don't reply back after looking at my phone. I don't have it in me to dress up tonight, which is one thing that this pregnancy is changing about my entire being, but I do need a quick shower before I go anywhere.

Usually, it would be a cute outfit, some lip gloss and mascara at least, but today, it's leggings and a tank top, with an oversized hoodie and slip-on sneakers. Right now, comfort over cute seems to be my style.

I look at myself in the mirror, tying my messy damp hair in a bun, but leaving one strand down on either side of my face. I watch myself twirling a strand of my brown hair and I try to imagine what Luca will think when he sees me this casual.

Does he really want to talk? Or is he just looking for an easy fuck again? I'm not sure I can take another round of whatever the hell happened last night in Mexico.

Luca can be so hot-and-cold that it's starting to make me dizzy.

Of course I want to be by his side and see him become a father to our child, but if he's going to change his mind every day and act out of character whenever things start stressing him out, maybe I'm better off doing this parenting thing on my own.

I think about his face, though, and how when he holds me it feels like the rest of the world melts away. I think about how much he appreciates me when I'm around, and how he can watch a room full of men admire me, and then whisk me away and claim my body as his.

Isn't that all a girl needs in life, really? Well, that and a bit of stability.

My drive into the city is easy. Luca answers the door with a tired face, so I'm sure this isn't going to be a repeat of last night. As I walk in, he hugs me, and I'm so taken aback that I freeze for a minute, but then I wrap my arms around him and squeeze as tightly as his hard body and my tiny arms allow.

I hear him breathe deeply, almost like he's taking in my scent, and God, am I glad I showered before I came.

He doesn't seem to notice my very unflattering outfit, and I'm not sure if I'm relieved or annoyed. Does he even notice when I do dress up? Actually, I know he does, because the trail of his deep blue eyes over my body every time gives him away.

He lets go after a few minutes standing there, closes the apartment door, and walks into the kitchen.

"I made you coffee," he says. "Uh, decaf. I got it from the store downstairs. Caffeine isn't good for the, uh, baby. Or so I hear." He hands me the cup and I smile at him, feeling my eyes get watery.

Not only is this one of the few times that he has referenced the baby, but it also shows he's willing and able to help me take care of this child. And he can—if he wants to—take care of me.

I take a sip of the coffee. "Not too bad, almost tastes like the real thing." I'm only half-lying, but I've never truly enjoyed the taste of coffee so decaf works just fine for me.

"And it won"t keep us awake tonight. Bonus." He smiles, happy with my reaction.

I think about how Luca's smile used to be the one thing I aimed for whenever I was with him. I knew that you had to be special to get a smile out of him. But recently, he seems to smile at me so much. And while I enjoy it, I'm also so confused by it.

He seems to hate me one minute and then think I'm amazing the next. The rollercoaster of Luca's emotions and attention is not something I'm feeling up for riding tonight. And I doubt he's going to let me ride any other part of him.

"So… you wanted to talk?" I walk over to the softly lit, white and cream living room and sit down on the overstuffed couch, slipping off my shoes and criss-crossing my legs underneath me.

I feel comfortable in this apartment now, and relaxed with Luca. As long as he"s not being a dick. It's only been a few months, but already I see Luca as my new family.

That is, if he doesn't banish me to the other side of the world by the end of this conversation. I did say in my letter that if wanted me to leave, I would do that for him.

I wasn't lying, I will leave with this baby and start again, somewhere unknown, where no one will find me.

It's not my ideal plan, but I would much rather escape than have to bring this baby up in a town where Luca Baldini, a king, is denying being the father of my child. Or, worse, have Luca try to take the baby away from me completely, hiring some slutty nanny to take care of my child while I'm banished from the Baldini mansion.

I shake my head just slightly, trying to stop the overthinking from taking over completely.

"I do. I need to talk to you. But I'm going to ask that you let me get it all out before you say anything." He looks so serious.

I take a deep breath and nod my head. This is the conversation we both need to have, to heal and move forward as a family.