Chapter Twenty-Seven

After sending Emelia with her own driver, I tell my chauffeur to drop me off at my apartment in the city. I can't deal with the family house right now, not if my siblings are there, too, which they both most likely are.

I've spent the entire morning fielding both of their questions and trying to ensure that my crew is on track. I'm exhausted, and I still have a hangover from last night.

On the plane, I had figured that I"d give Enzo a heads-up before leaving Mexico, thinking he"d be thrilled about what"s coming for the family. Instead, he hit me with a bunch of questions that screamed, "I don"t trust you to handle this."

And if that wasn"t enough, Grazia"s been blowing up my phone all day. Non-stop questions about Emelia and whether we"ve had a heart-to-heart about the baby.

She even went as far as asking if I think this whole thing with Emelia is messing with my head and distracting me from work. Seriously, who the fuck does she think she"s talking to? Distraction is not my middle name.

Neither of them seem to realize what I've just done.

Carlos has the biggest family connection in the south. There is no risk of his shipments drying up, as long as we have customers, he's got drugs. And that means a constant stream of income—much better than the sporadic spurts that come from our American partners, that's for sure.

And once we've secured this shipment, we'll have the funds to get more guys on the ground. Now that we've got the Mexican stuff, we can start taking on other countries. This deal means the Baldini name is about to become the best, the biggest, in our circles.

All of those rival families who might dream of taking us on now, are not even going to fathom that possibility in a couple of months.

But Enzo just sees me trying to do something on my own and his need to control everything takes over. And he's brainwashed Grazia so much now that she may as well just be called his puppet.

I love my family, but they need a wake-up call.

Tonight, I just can"t deal with either of them. I need to be in my own space, soaking in the sweet taste of success. Plus, the city flat puts me closer to the action on the ground for distribution.

As my driver weaves through the city, I"m just craving some peace and quiet to enjoy what I"ve pulled off.

I get out of the car outside my building, still holding the folded note that Emelia gave me. I can't help but scoff when I look at it, does she think we're fifteen-year-olds in high school? I've never had a grown woman give me a love letter. But maybe that's what sets her apart from the other women I've been with.

My phone rings, interrupting my thoughts. I see Enzo's name on the screen, so I answer as I walk up to my apartment. "Hello?"

"Luca, where are you? I thought you'd be back by now." He sounds almost panicked–strange for Enzo.

"I am back, I'm at my apartment. I need to get some sleep after this weekend. I'll be back at the mansion tomorrow." I yawn, not on purpose but that should help tell Enzo I'm not lying.

"I sent Emelia back to her place," I add, just in case he thinks this is some sex-scapade of ours. Not that I really care if he thinks that it is.

Enzo sighs, "Look I know you've just done the wire transfer and Carlos seems happy, but I've been going over all the details and I think you and I need to catch up. We really can't afford more of a mess here–I've been dealing with attempted hits on my guys all fucking day."

"Uh, okay." I'm not sure what his guys have to do with mine. I've had wounded men too, but it comes with the territory. We've already sent a pretty clear message to the Morellis. "You think the hits have something to do with me?"

"Well…" He doesn't sound like he wants to say it, but I know he's thinking it. "I just worry that there are some unsealed seams in your deal. Plus, with yours and Emelia's fake dating relationship, like you're in some sort of rom-com, Carlos needs to trust us fully."

"Carlos does trust us fully, Enzo. Emelia and I have all of this covered already." I'm too tired to argue with my brother. "Look, I'll see you in the morning okay?"

I put the phone down before he can say anything more. I'm standing in my kitchen, my apartment looks dark and depressing with the blinds closed. Luckily it's clean, so at least the housekeeper has been here.

Emelia's note is still in my hand, but I'm not sure I'm ready to know what she's thinking after…last night. She could very well never want to see me again, although I'd never let her keep my child from me.

Or she could be begging me to help her. I read the full letter in silence, and notice the shaky handwriting, knowing she wrote this in Mexico where I treated her like shit.

My chest grows tighter the further on in the letter I go. I know I fucked up royally last night, I hadn't thought enough about how she was feeling. Or how she had been feeling ever since we lost Nonna.

Then I had gotten her involved in all of this crap with my deal, and she hadn't even accepted the payment for it, so she had put on an act and helped me land the deal—and gotten nothing in return.

Nothing but me, but had I really been the reward she deserved?

Right at the bottom of the letter she wrote:

I won't force you to speak to me, but if you ever find yourself wanting to talk things through, please call me.

"Fuck, Luca, what is wrong with you?" I shout into the empty apartment, slamming my fists onto the marble kitchen counter.

I had been so blinded by what Grazia was telling me, that I refused to take everything Emelia and I had already dealt with at face value.

Clearly Emelia had the family's best interests at heart from the get-go, and she had nothing to gain by becoming Nonna's own personal companion.

I wasn't even angry with her for cozying up to me after we lost Nonna, because truth be told, I needed someone who I could fall apart in front of and not feel like they were losing all respect they had for me. Emelia had been there when I needed her the most.

I think back to our first nights, in the lookout and again in Mexico. Neither of those times had been orchestrated by Emelia. I had seen her and needed comfort. I had wanted her body, too.

And we're a fucking good match, not just sexually or physically, but mentally, too. She matches my intelligence and determination, plus I already know that she"s a valuable partner and can hold her own in a room full of ruthless cartel men.

So sure, maybe she took advantage of my vulnerability, but I didn't exactly run from her screaming. I took full advantage of her feelings for me, too, and used them to help me get exactly what I wanted from her. Not just for sex, but for help with the Mexican deal, too.

In my tangled thoughts, the weight of my recent actions is beginning to feel crushing. Last night was a complete mess, and as I replay it in my head, I can"t help but cringe at how I treated her. I mean, she"s literally carrying our first child, and there I was acting like an asshole.

The realization of my own behavior hits me square in the chest, and I can"t escape the feeling that I fucked up big time. I bury my face in my hands.

I think about Nonna and how this would look to her. I can practically hear her disapproving sigh, and it hurts. If she were here, she"d be shaking her head at me, disappointed.

That"s a big part of the problem. Without Nonna around, everything feels a bit off-kilter.

Enzo"s micromanaging everything I do, Emelia"s pregnant, and Grazia? Well, she"s got this talent for thinking the universe revolves around her. All of the pieces of this puzzle are driving me a bit mad.

It"s like I"m walking on a tightrope, and any second, I might lose my balance.

In the middle of all this chaos, I can"t shake the feeling that I"m losing control. The pressure from all sides, combined with my own internal mess, is pushing me to the edge.

But for the sake of the woman I love and the little one on the way, and maybe even for the memory of Nonna, I"ve got to find a way to steady myself and be the partner and soon-to-be parent they deserve.

I can't lose control, because that is exactly what Enzo is expecting me to do and I'll be damned if I give my brother the satisfaction. I take a deep breath. The Mexican shipment is here, Carlos is paid, and my men have a pretty good routine now for distribution.

Work-wise, things are going smoothly. It's just my personal life that I need to sort out now—something that has never been one of my strengths.

I suddenly don't want to be alone anymore and pull my phone out of pocket. There's only one face I can handle seeing right now, and I'm not even sure she'll be willing to see me.

I can only hope.

There's something about spending time with Emelia that seems to melt my stress and worries away, and give me the strength to get back up again.

Typing a text, I put in Emelia's name and press send before I can change my mind.

Once it's sent, I reread what I typed to her, in case it sounded wrong.

I read your letter. Can you come over? I think we should talk. Please.

It's short and to the point, hopefully it conveys that I want a truce. Peace. To come to a conclusion that works for both of us.

The silence of my phone makes me nervous. It's been three seconds, but I tap the back of my phone nervously, waiting for her reply.

If she even does reply.