33. Raleigh
CHAPTER 33
Raleigh
Derrick approaches slowly. I don’t know which of us is the wounded animal, or if the promise in the air is good or bad. I just know that whatever happens next, I’ve said everything I could possibly say. I’ve bared my soul, ugly and petty and not enough, to a man I’ve begun to crave like water.
If he rejects me now… Then I really have lost everything.
No. Not everything. There’s still a baby growing inside me, a beautiful promise of love and belonging. Even though it’ll be hard to lose Derrick, I have to stay as obstinate and confident as possible, if only for my child’s sake.
I don’t want to do this alone, but I will if I have to.
Derrick is closer now. In fact, he doesn’t stop when he gets within arm’s reach. I hold my ground, even when we’re chest to chest. When he reaches around me, I’m a little bewildered, but not disappointed that he’s about to hug me. Instead, I feel him grab the handcuffs. One twist of the key, and they’ve come loose.
He brings my hands back around to the front of me, and, eyes locked on mine, handcuffs my left hand to his right.
Then he grabs the back of my neck and pulls me in for a devastating kiss.
I’m so surprised that I stumble back, but of course, Derrick doesn’t let me fall. Together, we back into the side of the police cruiser until Derrick has me pinned against it. He presses me closer, closer, until all I can taste and breathe is him. He’s using his teeth and tongue more than his lips, a lot like I did when we first kissed a lifetime ago. It’s aggressive, demanding, cathartic.
We’ve pushed each other away and fallen back together so many times, it feels right that it should hurt a little to finally accept each other’s every open wound and prickly flaw.
He’s hard between my legs, and I’m so ready for him. Even more than last night, I need him inside me. I need him to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I want him more than anything.
“I’m sorry,” Derrick growls into my mouth. “I’m sorry-”
“Prove it,” I gasp, reaching between us and grabbing at the front of his jeans. “Show me how sorry you are.”
He groans, grinding his pelvis against my palm. His teeth bite my lower lip hard enough to draw blood. A pang of desperate need shoots between my legs. I want him inside me now .
“ Derrick -”
His free hand loosens my pants and shoves them and the boxers down, then unzips his pants and lets them fall too. The cold morning air and the side of the cruiser on my naked skin makes me shudder, but Derrick’s grip is hot on my thighs as he hikes them up around his waist. Before I can even take a breath to ready myself, he plunges his dick into me.
We both cry out, in relief, in ecstasy. I don’t care that serendipity brought us together, and how mismatched our lives might be. Our bodies were molded for each other to inhabit. From the very first time we came together, I’ve craved him inside me just like this, and I will until the day I die.
Derrick has an apology to prove to me, and he doesn’t waste time. His thrusts are punishingly fast and deep. His kisses suck at my neck, his teeth bite into the meat of my shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he breathes, raising goosebumps under his lips. “I’m so goddamn sorry, Raleigh. After everything- I should have recognized you were telling the truth.”
“You should have,” I scold without heat. “When was the last time I believably lied to you?”
The nails of my free hand drag down his back. I take every one of his touches with whimpers of gratitude, and when I break around him, it feels like he’s wringing my pleasure out of me, like my spine is a dish towel and he’s using both hands.
Dimly, I wonder if the odd commuter passing on the highway can see the cruiser rocking.
Suddenly, Derrick switches up his rhythm, dragging his dick in and out of me with agonizing care. The friction against my clit is too much. I scream when I cum again. Who’s going to hear it on this empty road?
“If I fill you up, will you forgive me Raleigh?” Derrick asks. His arms and his voice are quivering. He’s ready to drive himself into me, but he keeps his thrusts long and slow, torturing us both until I answer.
“ Yes ,” I cry. Anything to get him to start pounding into me again. “Yesyes Derrickyes -”
His hands squeeze my thighs hard enough to leave bruises. I let out a breathless cry of relief as his dick slams into me, faster, faster, faster . With a grunt, he finally cums, burying himself in my body and filling me full. It feels so good, I can’t help it. I let my head fall back against the cruiser and gasp out a laugh.
“Do you- accept- my apology?” Derrick pants against the shell of my ear.
“Ha, maybe,” I groan. “Can you do it- I mean say it again?”
His breathy laughter is warm on my cheek, tickling the hairs on my neck. He kisses my jaw, the barest a whisper of a touch, and my already loose spine turns to jelly. Slowly, so slowly, Derrick leaves a soft trail of kisses down my throat. He pauses to press his cheek to my skin, to listen to the impossible pace of my heart.
“I have to put you down, sweetheart,” he says, and I can only respond with a moan. He pulls out of me, setting my unsteady feet on the grass, and gives our handcuffed wrists a little tug. I follow his lead, and realize he’s guiding me to lie down across the back seat. I do, with my calves still dangling out the open door, and Derrick crouches in the grass with his head between my legs.
I feel him smile against the inside of my knee before he kisses it. The muscles in my leg jump when he kisses my inner thigh. His free hand circles my ankle, drags up my calf, raising goosebumps in its wake. He licks up the full length of my clit, tasting me, tasting him, and making my back arch off the seat cushions. His fingers pull up the hem of my shirt, lifting it all the way up to my collarbone.
The tender kiss he presses below my belly button lingers. His breath shudders just a little, and I bury my fingers in his rich hair.
“Are you really giving me this?” Derrick asks. He rests his cheek there, and inside me, our baby shifts just a little.
“Yes,” I swear, tears pricking my eyes. “I really am. Will you take it already?”
He chuckles. “I will.”
He moves up my body, tasting my skin, caressing it with his fingertips, worshiping every inch of me. His tongue sweeps up the swell of my breast, and he takes his time suckling at one nipple, then the other.
I gasp a laugh. “Will you still love my boobs when they’re full of milk?”
Derrick sucks harder, pinching with his teeth until my whole body kicks. “Only if I get to have a taste,” he growls.
When his lips finally meet mine, it’s slow and soft, unlike anything we’ve ever shared. I breathe in his cotton and musk, and my heart aches deep in my chest. A tear streaks across my face and into my hair.
I love this man. I love him, and I need him, and I refuse to lose him now. Even if it means baring every one of my flaws, even if I have to show him the ugliest parts of me to convince him that it’s real. I’ll give him all of it, trust him with all of me, and know that at the end of the day, he still treasures who I am.
Derrick’s body rests comfortably atop mine, and I can feel how hard he is again. Slowly, agonizingly, he rocks against me, rubbing the length of his dick up and down my clit. Just that friction makes it impossible for me to breathe. Just the barest tip of his three fingers in my pussy is enough to break me all over again.
I howl into Derrick’s mouth, and he kisses away every note. His fingers retreat, and then his dick is filling up every inch of me, sending a fresh wave of pleasure down my spine and through my limbs. I’m floating out of my body, with nothing but the taste of Derrick’s mouth anchoring me to reality. He thrusts so slowly, so devastatingly slowly in and out of me, drawing out every orgasm before another begins.
I’m an origami boat in a wild ocean, helpless to do anything but weep at feeling so fucking good .
Derrick groans, pulling his mouth away from mine and drawing a new line of kisses down my throat. I feel the muscles in his stomach tremble with the effort it’s taking to maintain this slow pace. He wants to destroy us both, but he wants to make tender love to me more. His control over himself only makes me feral for more.
I tighten my fingers in his hair, tugging right at his scalp.
“So impatient, Raleigh,” Derrick growls against my collarbone. “I’m taking my goddamn time with you.” He shifts his angle inside me, driving his dick hard against my G-spot once, twice, to illustrate his point. I fall over the edge all over again, and the pleasure is so intense it’s pain. “See? You’re not done.”
I’m about to be, though. If he makes me feel any more, I’m going to come apart at the seams. Maybe he can hear it in my whimpers, because Derrick thrusts into me three more times, fast and rough. His hot breath shudders over my sternum. He’s as ready as I am.
“Come on !” I plead. “You want to cum into me so bad, Derrick. Just do it- just do it please -”
He slams his dick home, spilling himself inside me. His face presses into my breast as he fights to catch his breath, and I run trembling fingers through his hair. For long, quiet minutes, we wait as our heartbeats slow and the air in the cruiser cools.
“We should get moving,” Derrick murmurs against my skin.
I only moan in response. If we could lie in the backseat of this cruiser and fuck the rest of the day away, I’d have no complaints. But unfortunately, I have to convince my brother not to kill the man I love, and the longer we make him wait, the harder it’ll be to do that.
Then again, isn’t that all the more reason to make this moment last as long as possible?
Eventually, though, Derrick lifts off of me and steps out of the car. I’m forced to sit up and follow him, since our wrists are still cuffed together. Derrick crouches, looking for the handcuff key in his tool belt, but when I see what he’s reaching for, I quickly lace my fingers with his.
“Wait!” I say, and Derrick freezes. “Can we keep them on? Just for a little longer.”
The slow smile that spreads over Derrick’s face makes every tear of the last few days worth it. He gives me one last, too quick kiss, and stows the handcuff key back into his belt. Together, we help each other dress and straighten up, using every excuse to kiss and touch along the way.
We’re both stalling, both trying to pretend nothing terrifying waits at the end of the road we’ve chosen.
Finally, we’re ready to continue our drive, back toward the city, back toward a reality we’re determined to change. Derrick gets into the driver’s seat, lifting me in with him so I can climb unceremoniously over all the screens and buttons in the middle console of the cruiser. Once I’m settled, Derrick laces his fingers with mine and, chained together by serendipity and by choice, we rejoin the road home.