32. Derrick

CHAPTER 32

Derrick

I throw the back door open for Raleigh, and she lunges out past me just in time to puke in the grass. The deja vu is not lost on me. Except yesterday she wasn’t handcuffed in the backseat. She was in what would be my partner’s seat if I had one.

I stalk away from the cruiser, crossing my arms over my chest like I’m throwing up a shield. The sound of her retching twists at my heart. I want to take her hair in my hands. I want to rub her back until her nausea is soothed. No matter what she’s done, she’s still the mother of my child.

Unless she isn’t even that? I felt movement last night, and she’s definitely suffering from morning sickness, but again I come back to the fact that I have nothing but Raleigh’s word that the baby inside her is mine. That could’ve been just another part of her ploy to gain my sympathy, to convince me to keep her with me just a little bit longer.

But then why also try to convince me to let her hop on a plane and disappear…?

No, I can’t keep questioning my own logic. I’ve been doing that since Thomas punched my face in, and look where it’s gotten me? I need to dump Raleigh on the steps of the Warwick estate and hope I get a fair distance away before Thomas starts chasing me.

Then I’ll be the one to hop on a plane and disappear.

I hate that I left my mother with no explanation and two more dogs to feed. I hate that it might be months before it’s safe to contact her, if it ever is. I’ll need to make my trail a little obvious at first, just to be sure Thomas won’t assume I’m using her place as a safe house. That being said, there’s nothing to stop him from using her as a hostage to convince me to come crawling back.

I really did try to have it all, and I lost it instead. I’m furious with Raleigh, with her brother, but more than anyone or anything else, I’m angriest at myself for indulging such a foolish dream.

“I’ll tell Thomas the truth,” Raleigh croaks behind me.

I whip around. “You haven’t told anyone the truth a day in your life-”

“Are you talking about me or you?!” she counters, and my jaw tightens so hard my teeth creak.

Raleigh takes a controlled breath, then spits more bile into the grass. She’s trying to talk to me and empty her stomach acid at the same time, which makes me feel… not great. I go to the back seat of the cruiser, where a couple bottles of water are still left from yesterday, and hold one out to her. She looks shocked- as if I’d let her keep tasting her own bile, even though I’m pissed as hell. After a moment, though, she does take it and swish some water around in her mouth before spitting it out too. When she speaks again, her voice sounds a little less rough.

“If he doesn’t think you kidnapped me, then you don’t have to run. You can- you can go back to your life, and I’ll…” She looks away. “I’ll convince him that you had nothing to do with this, Derrick. I swear it.”

“Oh really?” I spit.

“You don’t like that?” she snaps. “How about I tell him the other truth?” She straightens, her hands still held behind her back, but her chin high. “That I love you, and if you have to run away to save your own life, I’ll go with you.”

For a moment, I’m too stunned to react. When I do, all I can say is, “You… what?”

Raleigh’s lower lip trembles. “I love you,” she repeats, almost defiantly. “That’s the truth. I’ve been obsessed with you since the first moment I saw you, whether I wanted to strangle you or kiss you. And last night, I- I realized that I’ve never trusted someone more than I trust you.”

She can’t mean that. This has to be some kind of trick. I need to stay strong, or I’m just going to fall for her bullshit again.

But what the hell is the point of lying now? I was already going to return her home, and be within reach of her brother’s wrath. Getting away is a longshot at best, especially if he decides to use my mother against me. So why should Raleigh claim that she loves me, unless her intent is just to be cruel one last time?

And if I know anything true about this woman at all, it’s that any time she lashes out, she does it out of fear, not out of malice. She might be the one in handcuffs, but she’s also the one with the power now. Harming a hair on her head at this point would only make my death and my mother’s an absolute certainty.

So… “Why?”

Raleigh shakes her head. “Why trust you? Because you’ve never let me down.”

She says it so simply. But how is that possible? The only people who trust me do so based on the pretty lies I’ve built my entire career on. Except Raleigh knows all my truths. She knows I’m not an upright politician, that I was a crooked cop, that I’m an enemy of her brother…

And yet she claims to trust me.

To love me.

I open my mouth to ask her why again, but more explanations won’t make it seem less incredible. Instead, I ask, “How are you supposed to convince your brother not to kill me once he finds out I got you pregnant?”

There’s a spark of relief in Raleigh’s eyes, and it’s so beautiful I almost smile, despite all the anger and uncertainty still roiling in my chest.

“My brother knocked up my best friend,” Raleigh says bluntly. “He has no legs to stand on.”

It’s such a flippant response that I bark a laugh. Raleigh smiles in response, and it’s like the sun coming up. “I don’t think that logic applies here,” I tell her, trying to school my features again.

“I don’t care.” Raleigh’s own smile fades. “If you have to leave… please, let me come with you.”

I start to shake my head, but Raleigh takes a step forward. “If you want to make me beg like I made you, then fine. I’ll do that. Will that convince you?”

In almost any other context, the idea of Raleigh begging to me would be too tempting to pass up. But if everything Raleigh’s said since I woke her in a rage has been true, then I’m the one who should be on my knees in front of her. The very fact of her offer should convince me.

As should the reality that, since the moment Raleigh told me she was pregnant, she hasn’t bothered to lie about anything else. In fact, I wonder if both of us stopped lying to each other further back than either of us realized.