Chapter 40

Zach was so close to falling apart that it scared me. I was doing my best to keep it together myself. I tried not to imagine how I would feel if it had been Isabella lying still and silent on that hospital gurney. I thought about Diego and Sofia being without their mother, and I nearly lost it. My heart clenched. Cody. How would we tell that precious little boy that his mommy was never coming back? I took a deep breath and pushed the thought away for the moment. That was something Zach and I would figure out together.

We stayed on the bench until the sun was above the horizon. Then we drove the few blocks to our apartment and sat in the car. "What am I going to tell Cody?" Zach asked. "How do you tell a three-year-old his mom died?" He covered his face with his hands. "And his birthday is this week."

My heart broke all over again for both Zach and Cody. "Maybe we can look online. Someone must have some thoughts on how to handle something like this."

He wiped the tears from his face. "I suppose so." He looked up at our building. "We should get up there. It was really nice of Isabella to stay with Cody."

"She's a good person," I said.

We trudged up the stairs, both of us reluctant to face the reality of what Allie's death would mean for Cody. The apartment was dark and quiet when we let ourselves in. We removed our shoes so we wouldn't make noise walking around on the hardwood floors. We went down the hallway to check the bedrooms. The door to our bedroom was partially open. Isabella was asleep with her arms cradling Sofia. Cody and Diego were asleep, cuddled next to each other.

Zach covered his mouth to stifle a sob as he hurried away from the beautiful and heartbreaking scene. He sank down on the sofa with his head in his hands. "How can I tell him? It's going to break his heart."

I sat down next to him and pulled him closer. "I don't know, Zach. I do know it"s going to be incredibly difficult, but we'll be with him to help him heal. That's all we can do."

He lifted his head to look at me, his red-rimmed eyes still wet with tears. "You keep saying we. It seems like a lot to ask you. We've only been officially dating for a week."

I cupped his cheek. "Zach, you know how you said you were drawn to me from the beginning? It was the same for me. The first time I saw you, I couldn't look away. Then I got to know you and discovered what a genuinely good person you are. I'm here because I want to be. I'll be with you the whole way. I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to keep you."

He put his arms around me and pulled me close. "I don't know what I did to deserve it, but I'm so glad you're here with me." He kissed me sweetly, then rested his head in the crook of my neck.

"Miguel?" My sister's voice was hoarse with sleep. Her usually neatly brushed hair was a tangled mess, and she wore the same clothes she had the night before.

Zach drew away from me so I could face my sister. "Sorry if we woke you."

She shook her head. "It's fine. The kids are still asleep. I'll have to get Mama and Papa to watch them later so I can take a nap." She shifted her attention to Zach. "I'm so sorry about your sister, Zach."

"Thank you," he replied quietly. "And thank you for staying here with Cody. It means a lot to me."

She smiled sadly. "It was my pleasure. He's a special little boy. Diego just loves him."

"Yeah, he is," Zach croaked. "Do you know how I'm supposed to tell him about his mom?"

She pressed her lips together. "I don't know about this particular situation, but when I asked about talking to Diego about what was happening with Carlos, I was told to be honest and use age-appropriate language."

He let out a bitter laugh. "He's three. It's not age-appropriate that his mom is dead."

I squeezed his hand. "No, it's not. That's why we have to try to do it the best way we can." I looked at my sister. "Do you know of any child therapists?"

She shook her head. "I was going to start looking for one when we moved back to our house."

"Do you think he'll need one?" Zach asked.

"I think it's going to be a lot of change for him in a very short time," I replied. "He might need to process it with someone who isn't you or me."

"It sounds like you have some experience with that," Zach said.

I nodded. "From my freshman year in high school all the way to my sophomore year at college. The only reason I stopped was because my therapist moved out of state, and I didn't bother to find a new one."

A soft cry came from the bedroom. Isabella stood. "That's Sofia. She'll be hungry. The boys will probably be awake soon."

"We'll make breakfast," I volunteered. "Scrambled eggs and pancakes okay?"

She looked distressed. "You don't have to do that."

Zach shook his head. "It's the least we can do. And it'll keep me busy for a little while."

Another louder cry sounded. "Then scrambled eggs and pancakes are perfect." She hurried from the room to get her daughter.

Zach and I got busy getting out the ingredients for breakfast. I made the eggs, and he made the pancakes. Isabella came out carrying Sofia, and the two boys followed. They looked so cute with their sleep-tousled hair, rubbing sleepy eyes with their little fists.

Zach put a plate stacked high with pancakes in the middle of the table. I set out the bowl of scrambled eggs. Cody went over to Zach and raised his arms to be picked up. "Hey, little man," he said with a gravelly voice. "You hungry? Want some pancakes?"

"Yay! Pancakes!" Cody cheered with enthusiasm. God, I absolutely hated what was coming.

Zach got Cody settled with his food while I helped Isabella by getting Diego his food. While we were eating—or pretending to eat in my and Zach's cases—I did some research on Zach's phone to see if there was something there to help him talk to Cody about his mom. It didn't take long for me to find a trove of websites dedicated to helping kids deal with grief.

When Zach put down his fork with a sigh of defeat, I slid his phone over to him. "You might want to take a look at this." I leaned closer and whispered, "Maybe in the other room."

He nodded and got up from the table, taking his phone with him. Isabella and I helped the boys finish their breakfast and cleared the dishes. While my sister went to change Sofia's diaper, I helped Cody and Diego clean up their mess and wash their hands in the kitchen sink.

After Isabella came out with Sofia, I asked her to stay with Cody for a few minutes while I made a phone call. I went into the bathroom and closed the door. I hit my best friend's number, hoping he would answer.

"Miguel," he croaked, "this better be the apocalypse."

I was barely holding it together. "Al, I really need you right now."

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"No," I said on a half-sob. "Zach's sister was killed last night."

"What? How?"

I gave him a shortened version of what happened. "It's such a mess. We haven't even told Cody yet."

"Oh, babe, I'm so sorry." There was a pause before he went on. "I have to take care of Mom this morning, but I can come over this afternoon, okay?"

"Okay." My voice hitched. "Thank you."

"Anytime, Miguel. I'll be there as soon as I can."

After I ended the call, I wiped my eyes and splashed water on my face before leaving the bathroom. When I got back to the kitchen, Isabella was handing Cody his Batman action figure.

"I found him on the floor," she said, "I thought you might want to have him with you."

"Thank you, Miss…Izza." He stopped and frowned. "I don't know how to say it."

"It's Isabella," my sister said gently, sounding out the word slowly.

Cody tried again. "Isa…bella. Isabella! Yay!"

"That's very good, Cody," she said with a sad smile. She looked over at me. "I'm going home. To our house. These two didn't get a bath last night. Mama and Papa are going to meet us there. Let us know if you need anything."

"I will." I picked up Cody. "Diego and Sofia have to go home now. They'll be back another time."

"Awww, but I want to play with Diego some more," Cody protested.

"I know you do, but they have to go home now. I promise you'll see them again. Isabella is my sister, so we see each other a lot."

His bottom lip jutted when he answered. "Okay. Can I hug Diego goodbye?"

"You should ask Diego if he wants a hug right now."

My nephew came to stand by us. "Cody can give me a hug."

I set Cody down, and the two boys hugged and talked about Cody's Batman doll. Diego promised to bring his Iron Man action figure next time so they could play together. My heart just about broke into a million pieces, knowing what lay ahead for Cody's future.

Zach came back in time to say goodbye to Isabella and the kids. He looked haggard and weary. His eyes were red-rimmed and there were dark circles under his eyes. Once the apartment door closed behind our guests, he picked up Cody and headed into the living room.

"Uncle Zach, when is Mommy coming to get me?"

Zach took in a shuddering breath. He sat on the couch with Cody in his lap. "That's something we have to talk about."

I sat next to Zach and put my hand on his thigh just to let him know I was there.

"I have to tell you something very sad," Zach began. He blew out a short breath. "Last night, Mommy got hurt really badly."

Cody frowned in concern. "Did she go to the doctor?"

Zach swallowed hard. "She went to the hospital," he said hoarsely. "The doctors tried really hard to make her better, but she was too badly hurt." A tear tracked down his cheek. "Mommy died."

Tears filled Cody's eyes. "But she can't die. She has to make my birthday cake."

"I know, baby," Zach said with a near sob.

Tears fell in great drops from the little boy's bright-blue eyes. "But who's going to take care of me? Daddy isn't here. Where will I live?"

It was then I completely understood Zach's homicidal urges last night. I wanted to find this Scott person and push him into a volcano.

Zach held Cody close. "Your mommy asked me to take care of you if something happened to her. So, you're going to live here with me and Miguel."

"But what about my toys and my blankets and my Lightning McQueen bed?"

I answered for Zach since he looked like he was about to lose it. "We're going to pick up all your stuff today, so you'll have it here."

"When is Mommy coming back?" he asked tearfully.

"She's not coming back, baby boy," Zach told him. "She was hurt so badly her body stopped working."

Cody shook his head stubbornly. "But I want her to come back."

Zach kissed Cody's damp cheek. "Me too, little man. I want her back too."