Chapter 21

Saturday morning, Miguel and I had to drag our sorry asses out of bed to work at Moonlight after staying up way too late the night before with all our friends. Marco had stayed overnight at Liam's cottage behind the hotel, so he saw us zombie walk in and, of course, had to bust on us.

"Having a little trouble this morning?" he asked fake-innocently.

Miguel shook his head and muttered, "More coffee," before continuing into the hotel.

I rubbed my face. "Too much food and alcohol. Your crew takes their beer and pizza seriously." In addition to Gabe, Marco had recruited three other ex-military badasses to join us. With their help, we'd gotten done faster than expected and, as a result, ate and drank way more than we should have.

Marco snorted, "You should see them after a mission."

"Mission?"

His expression shuttered and he took a beat too long to answer. "My brother's security company does overseas personnel extractions."

I'd been in the military long enough to know when I shouldn't ask follow-up questions, so I just said, "Wow. I'll bet that can get rough."

"Definitely."

I gestured with my thumb toward the hotel. "I should get going. I have to set up for brunch. Tell them all I said thanks again. I hope we can get together just to hang out."

"I'll tell them," Marco replied. "We'll definitely see you around. Will you need help moving your tools to Tommy's place on Friday?"

"I was just going to rent a truck with a tailgate lift," I answered.

He waved a dismissive hand. "We all have pickups available to us. What time do you get off work?"

"Five."

He nodded. "I have a security gig in the City that day, but Gabe should be available."

I stared at him in bemusement. "Okay. Thank you. Are you sure Gabe won't mind being voluntold to help me?"

"Nah. He'll be happy to help." He looked over his shoulder back at the cottage. "I'm gonna go back inside. I'll call you to set up the move in a couple of days."

"Thanks," I said again.

"No problem. You're one of us now," Marco replied.

A feeling of warmth filled my chest and stayed with me long after I'd started working.

My shift seemed to last forever, but at least I was done by four. Miguel had to work until seven. I felt bad for him, so I stopped at the supermarket on the way home and picked up food to make for dinner. By the time he got home, I had made pasta with meat sauce and some toasty garlic bread.

When Miguel stepped in the door, he stopped and took a deep breath. "Oh my god, is that garlic and tomato I smell?"

I smiled. "Yep. And the pasta will be ready in three minutes. Why don't you go and change into something comfortable? Dinner will be ready by the time you come out."

He ran over to me and threw his arms around my waist. "Thank you. I could kiss you right now."

I felt my cheeks warm, and I couldn't stop my grin. "Okay," I said hoarsely.

Miguel looked up at me in surprise. Then he rose on his toes and kissed my cheek before hurrying into his room to change. It left me feeling vaguely disappointed.

Miguel declared we would eat in the living room and watch Marvel movies in our pajamas. He shooed me out of the kitchen and made me change. I didn't have pajamas, so I put on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt.

When I returned to the living room, Miguel stared at me open-mouthed. "Gray sweatpants? Really?"

I looked down at my sweatpants. "What's wrong with gray? Are they dingey?"

Miguel squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "No. They're fine. Come sit and eat. It smells delicious."

We only made it through Iron Man. Tired from the previous day's exertions and full of pasta, garlic bread, and the ice cream I bought for dessert, we were falling asleep before the mid-credit short came on. We cleaned up our mess and headed off to bed.

I had the strongest urge to follow Miguel to his room and ask him for a real kiss, but I couldn't. He'd never expressed any interest in me that way. He was way out of my league anyway. It took me a long time to get to sleep.

Late Sunday morning, Allie and Cody stopped by with bagels and croissants from our favorite coffee and pastry shop. Cody was confused at first because this wasn't my old place, but he got over that pretty quickly after he realized how much more space there was for him to run around. Miguel already had child-proofed as much as possible for his niece and nephew, so I wasn't worried about Cody. I played my keyboard, and we all sang songs—except the Bruno song, which Allie forbade us from singing.

At some point, Miguel excused himself to take a shower. He came out a little later dressed in dark jeans and an olive-green button-down. I looked at him in confusion. "Are you going somewhere?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Yes. I have a lunch date at Taka at one."

It felt like there was a stone in my stomach. "Oh. Okay." I shoved my hands in my pockets to keep from reaching for him to beg him not to go. "I guess I'll see you later."

"Yeah." He waved his hand toward the large front windows. "It's a nice day, so I'm going to walk."

Miguel said goodbye to Cody, who echoed my thoughts aloud, "No. Stay here."

He smiled down at my nephew. "I'll be here the next time you come over, and we'll play together longer, okay?"

Cody's bottom lip quivered, and I had the sudden wish that I could pout at Miguel to make him stay. Miguel wagged his finger at Cody. "None of that. I promise we'll be able to play together another day."

Cody sniffled and said, "Okay."

Miguel said goodbye to Allie and then to me. He looked almost sad when he left, which was even more confusing. After he was gone, I shook myself and took a breath. "All right, how about we go get some ice cream." Cody cheered and Allie glared at me. "Come on," I wheedled, "It's a nice day. We can walk over to Day's Ice Cream Parlor."

Allie put me in charge of Cody, and we were on our way. After we got our ice cream and were sitting at a table near the window inside the ice cream parlor, my sister looked at me and asked, "Okay, what is up with you and Miguel?"

My stomach twisted and I swallowed hard. "Nothing," I answered. "Nothing is up with us."

She glanced at Cody and then leaned in close to me and whispered, "That right there is total bullshit." She leaned back and continued. "Don't lie to me, Zach. When Miguel left for his date, you looked like someone kicked your puppy."

I opened my mouth to deny her claim, but I couldn't. "Allie…I…"

Allie helped Cody with his ice cream and then reached across the table and put her hand over mine. "Zach, I love you. You're my big brother, and you've always been there for me. Nothing you tell me will change that."

I took in a shuddering breath. "Nothing is happening between Miguel and I, but…" I hesitated as if speaking it into existence would somehow jinx it.

"But…" Allie prompted.

"But I want something to happen." I let out an explosive breath and slumped in my seat.

"How long have you felt this way?" she asked.

I ran my fingers through my hair. "I don't know. A while, I think. From the first time I saw him at Moonlight, I was drawn to him. I've always liked talking to him. Lately, it's been more. I want to spend more time with him. But last week, after he told me he was going out on a date, I realized I wanted him. That I was attracted to him." I clenched my fist. "I want to beat down anyone who touches him."

"I'm guessing you haven't said anything to him about it," Allie said.

I shook my head. "I don't know what to say. I barely know how to talk to women. I have no idea what to say to a man. Especially a man like Miguel."

"What do you mean, a man like Miguel?"

"Miguel is pretty," Cody said.

Out of the mouths of babes,I thought. I gestured toward Cody. "What he said. Miguel is gorgeous, successful, put together, and confident. What does a guy like me have to offer someone like him?"

Allie reached across the small table and smacked the side of my head. Cody got a very serious expression on his little face. "No hitting, Mommy. That's bad."

"You tell her, little man," I said. "What was that for?"

Allie picked up Cody and put him on her lap. "I'm sorry, baby, but Uncle Zach was being mean to himself."

Cody looked sad. "Don't be mean, Uncle Zach. You're nice."

I was going to melt. My nephew was such a sweetheart. "Thank you, Cody."

"Cody's right," Allie said. "You are nice. You're kind and caring. And you are successful." When I shook my head, she pointed at me. "Are you or are you not a staff sergeant in charge of the motor pool in the Army National Guard?"

"I am," I muttered.

She put her hand behind her ear. "What was that? I didn't hear you."

I huffed out a long sigh. "I am," I replied in a louder voice. "I guess it just doesn't feel like the kind of success people care about."

Her expression softened. "Zach, I know it's been hard for you all these years, being in charge when you shouldn't have been. Never getting any kind of thanks from either of our parents. Taking care of me and taking care of Cody. And I know you've had some really crappy girlfriends in the past who made you feel bad about what you do for a living. But you're more than what you do for a living. So much more. I love you, and I am proud of you."

My eyes misted over, and I blinked away tears. "Thanks, Allie. I love you too."

She reached over and squeezed my hand. "If you like Miguel and you want to try dating him, you have to tell him."

I threw up my hands. "I don't even know if he's interested in me that way."

Allie smirked. "Oh, he's interested. I've seen him watching you when you aren't looking at him. He likes you. But he thinks you're straight. He won't make a move unless you tell him something different. That's how gay men get hurt or even killed."

My gut twisted. "I didn't think of that. Of course he would be scared to do anything. But he has to know I'd never hurt him."

"I'm sure he knows you wouldn't hurt him physically, but emotionally is another story."

I thought about that. I could see Miguel worrying about making me uncomfortable and maybe losing my friendship. I closed my eyes. "I don't know what to do. He's going out on dates now. Why would he take a chance on a guy who's just figured out he's not as straight as he thought he was?"

Allie sighed impatiently. "You'll never know if you don't try."

"Yeah. Okay. You're right. I'll think of something. I hope."