32

I stood up and went to stand at the window. I'd debated telling him this, but the timing seemed right. I could tell he was getting tired of telling his secrets, and I figured that it was my turn.

I wiped a tear away and began to speak.

"When I was sixteen, I started dating this guy. Chloe's older brother. Brock. He was seventeen." I half-smiled at the memory. "I was so in love with him. I pictured us getting married, having a big house, everything a teenage girl that's in love dreams of."

"Then, I got pregnant." Tears were starting to fill my eyes, but I kept going. "I was so excited. My parents definitely weren't thrilled, but I decided I wanted to keep the baby."

He shifted on the bed. I could see that he wanted to comfort me but knew that this was important to me and I needed to tell my story.

"My mom tried pushing us to get married, but my dad put an end to that really fast. That's what happened with them and Sierra, and he didn't want me to have to go down that road. My relationship with Brock was rocky to say the least, but we tried to make it work." I shrugged.

I moved to sit next to him on the bed again.

"I started bleeding and cramping one night. It was really bad. I stood up and almost passed out. My mom was out of town, so I had to call my dad at work. He had to leave work in the middle of the night to take me. I knew immediately the baby was gone."

I knew I had to finish telling him quickly, or I was going to lose my composure completely. The sobs were back. He laced his fingers through mine, squeezed my hand gently and began rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.

"It was awful," I whispered through my tears. "He took me to the hospital, but there wasn't really anything they could do."

"Ali," he whispered and squeezed my hand again. I rested my head against his shoulder and let the tears fall unhindered.

"My mom and dad separated shortly after that. She always brings it up when she doesn't think I'm living my life like I should. As if I'm not being adventurous enough. She keeps saying I should just get over ‘what happened' and start living my life. Like, I can just forget about it," I choked.

Tyler shifted, wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into his lap.

"Darling, I'm so sorry," he whispered into my hair.

"It's been four years today."

He pressed his lips to my temple and rested them there for a moment.

He smiled at me. "Let's go for a walk."

"Tyler, no. I really don't want to. Plus, it's almost dark outside."

"Do you trust me?" he asked softly.

I rolled my eyes, which made him smile again.

He stood up and held his hand out to me, waiting.

I reluctantly took his hand and stood. I reached for my jacket, and he said "If you really don't want to go, we don't have to."

I finished putting on my jacket, slipped into my shoes and put my lanyard around my neck. "I could use a walk," I said. The conversations that night had been very heavy, and I could use a little bit of a break. "Where are we going?"

He just smiled and reached for the door.

I was starting to get used to that smile.

The night was cool with a slight breeze. After we walked in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, he reached for my hand. I looked up at him, and he quickly pulled his hand away.

I mentally shrugged it off and put my hands in my jacket pockets. I knew what we'd talked about, but I wanted to think about being something more with him. I couldn't stop thinking about it.

He held the door open for me when we got to The Vanilla Bean. The girl behind the counter saw Tyler, blushed and quickly made herself busy at the popcorn machine.

"Do you have a secret girlfriend I need to know about?" I whispered, leaning into him.

"No, darling, only you," he whispered back, pulling me closer to him and kissing me on the temple. "Order what you want, just get me a medium English toffee popcorn and a water."

He started to reach for his wallet, but I pushed his hand away. "You paid for pizza. I'll get this."

He opened his mouth to argue, but I stepped out of whisper range and up to the counter. I ordered his popcorn and a caramel shake for myself. I pulled cash out of my pocket to pay, and Tyler slipped a ten-dollar bill into my hand.

"Please, let me," he whispered.

I took the money from his hand, and he gave me a grateful smile.

We walked outside and sat at a picnic table under a streetlight.

"Not a bad way to wrap up the day I wasn't sure I'd see the end of," Tyler said.

My hand stopped halfway to putting popcorn into my mouth.

The third heart.

"Why?" I asked.

"I'm tired. Siobhan is struggling in school, and I feel guilty that I can't be there for her. Our grandmother makes me feel like I'm worthless and refuses to let me get the help that she knows I need. I'm just so tired, Ali."

"Have you thought about looking into help without her knowing? There are resources here on campus. Like, it's not really her business, is it?"

He shot me a glare, and I knew that I'd messed up.

Way to go, Alexia. You've been so concerned about not overstepping today, and now you did exactly that.

He passed his water bottle between his hands, making a point not to look at me. I didn't know what to say.

"Tyler." I fought back tears, and I couldn't muster up the courage to look at him.

"Just... Don't."

I didn't.

After about ten minutes, I pushed the popcorn back to him. I hadn't touched it since he snapped at me, and the silence was uncomfortable.

"I'll pay you back, when we get back," I said, standing to walk back to the dorm.

"I don't want you to pay me back." He stood, taking our trash and the popcorn.

I started walking. I wasn't going to wait for him.

"Alexia." He caught up with me.

I spun around to face him. "I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."

I resumed walking back to the dorm. I was determined to just leave this conversation and issue behind. I was sure that there was no way that we would ever go back to how we were an hour before. He didn't walk next to me, but he stayed close behind.

I sent a text to Sierra, telling her what happened and asking for advice. I'd been working so hard to get Tyler to open up to me, and it felt like it was all for nothing.

"Are you still going to stay?" I asked quietly when we walked through the front door. "You can, but I won't force you."

"Sure."

Yeah, I ruined that.

Neither of us said a word the rest of the night. After getting ready for bed, I climbed the ladder to my bed, while Tyler scrolled on his phone on the futon.

Sierra: Do you think he'll come back around?

I looked over the edge of the bed. He was turned away from me.

Me: I don't know. I'm really worried.

Sierra: I'm sure it will be fine. He just needs some time to cool down. Just go to sleep and talk about it in the morning.

Me: I highly doubt it

Sierra: Lex. You've done all you can do. Call me in the morning, and we'll figure it out.