Chapter 53

Only a few hours after our rude wake-up call, I was in the kitchen with Scott, drinking coffee instead of sleeping in with Jewel and Colten. I’d tried to go back to sleep after Scott had shown Colt and me to his guest bedroom, but I hadn’t really gotten much more than a few winks after that.

It was seven a.m., but Scott was up again as well, his eyes red-rimmed from lack of sleep as he regarded me from the other side of the kitchen island. “You manage to get any more shut-eye after we got in?”

I shook my head. “Not really, you?”

“Nah. Too busy plotting against Dallas,” he said, but I wasn’t quite sure if he was joking.

I chuckled. “Whatever you decide to do, let me know. I’ve got your back. Someone needs to do something about that guy. He’s a menace.” I paused. “Thanks for coming to our rescue last night, Scott. I really appreciate it.”

“Thanks for keeping your head and protecting my sister,” he replied seriously.

“It was a close call,” I admitted. “I almost lost my mind. The only reason I kept my shit together was because I was worried about Jewel and Colt being in the house.”

“So what’s your plan?” he asked, cocking his head at me as he held my gaze. “What happens now?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s his house. I don’t have any legal grounds to force him to let us?—”

“No,” he said, cutting me off and shaking his head. “I don’t care about that. Dallas is an ass, but I’m sure he’ll give you your money back if you lean on him a little bit. You’ll be better off staying someplace else anyway, now that you’ve pissed him off. What I meant is what happens now with you and my sister? What’s your plan? You’re still leaving in a few weeks, right?”

I went quiet. I’d been pretending that little fact wasn’t real, thinking about it every now and then and dismissing it again. But it was real. Our time here was coming to an end fast and I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” I said honestly. “My life is in LA. My job. Colt’s school. Walter.” When he gave me a questioning look, I added. “My stepfather. He raised me and he’s the only family we’ve got. I can’t just leave him in some facility hundreds of miles away.”

Scott grimaced, but I saw the understanding in his eyes. “I respect whatever decision you make, but don’t string Jewel along if the decision is already made. Don’t dangle it like a carrot in front of her face that things might work out between you.”

“I’m not,” I protested, but he let out a humorless chuckle.

“I know my sister and she’s in love, Landon. The ship has sailed. It’s too late to do anything about it now, but don’t hurt her any more than you have to. Don’t make her think this is something it isn’t.”

The weight of his words settled on my shoulders.

I’ve let this go too far.Now I’m going to hurt her, myself, and worst of all, Colten.

Scott didn’t rub it in or make any threats about breaking my kneecaps if I didn’t do something. He just gave me a tight nod and then strode over to the fridge to pull out a tray of eggs. Meanwhile, I felt like I’d had the wind knocked out of me.

I needed to talk to Jewel about this. Today. We couldn’t ignore it any longer, skirt around it, or decide to live only in the moment. The time had come to actually deal with it.

Sighing as I rubbed the back of my neck, I turned as Colten and Jewel walked into the kitchen together for breakfast. She smiled at me and came to my side, slinging her arm over my shoulders and casually touching her temple to mine. “Colt and I have an idea to pick up everyone’s spirits.”

“Yeah, what’s that?” Scott asked.

She shared a conspiring look with my son. “A good, old-fashioned day on the boat. We can go tubing and swimming, and maybe pack a picnic to eat on the beach?”

“I’m always down for that,” Scott said, breaking some eggs into a pan. “Let me just scramble this. We’ll have a quick breakfast and then Colten can come with me to buy the fuel?”

Colt nodded enthusiastically. When the food was ready, he vacuumed it up and waited impatiently for a laughing Scott to finish. As soon as he was done, Colten bolted to the door, yelling goodbye to Jewel and me before running out to Scott’s truck.

The guy gave me a look that said he was buying us this time alone to talk, and I was grateful for it. As grateful as I was surprised that he was handling it all this well.

When they were gone, Jewel carried our bowls to the sink and came back to me with a mischievous smile on her lips. Instead of going to her seat, she crawled into my lap, locking her arms around my neck as she smiled down at me.

“I know yesterday sucked, but I told Colten we’d have a better adventure today.” She planted a kiss on my lips that made me want to do anything but tell her the truth, especially when she pressed her lips to my ear and whispered against it. “Who knows? You and I might even be able to sneak away while they toss the ball around.”

I groaned, wishing I could just let it all go again, but I had to talk to her and I knew it. Pulling back, I looked her square in the eye and leveled with her. “I’m in love with you.”

She blinked a few times fast. Then a slow smile spread on her lips and her eyes fluttered closed before she focused on me again. “I love you, too. I’ve just been waiting for the right time to tell you.”

My heart soared and broke at the same time. Excruciating agony mingled with the purest joy, and together, the two conflicting emotions nearly tore me in half.

Jewel kissed me like she meant it, but I pulled away before I got caught up in the moment. It would be too easy to revel in this. In her. In knowing that the most amazing woman in the world loved me back.

“I still have to go home,” I murmured against her lips. “We can’t keep doing this, Jewel. It’s just going to make things harder at the end of the summer.”

She lifted her head away from mine. “What?”

“I think we should stop before we go too far.” I hated saying it, but it had to be done. “I’m sorry, baby. I just don’t think this is a good idea anymore.”

Her head jerked back as if she’d been slapped. Scooting backward off my lap, she stumbled to the kitchen counter and gripped it for support. “We’ve already gone too far, Landon. We love each other. Are you really trying to break up with me less than a minute after you told me that you’re in love with me?”

“I am, Jewel. I am in love with you, which is why I have to put a stop to this.”

Her honey-gold eyes widened and she scoffed. “Is all of this really only occurring to you now? Because I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I don’t know what we’re going to do, but I think it’s at least worth trying to make it work.”

“How?” I asked flatly, my chest aching but my features stoic as I remembered what Scott had said about dangling carrots. “It’s common knowledge that long distance relationships don’t work indefinitely.”

“Don’t have any capacity to try?” she asked with disbelief cutting into her tone. “What about speaking to Walter about moving here? Or what if?—”

I shook my head. “I can’t uproot my father, Jewel. He’s doing well because of where he is, and Colten has school and responsibilities. The chess club. I can’t just yank him around either.”

She looked right into my eyes, searching, but I didn’t know what for. There was no way we could make this work. I wanted to desperately, but wanting something didn’t make it possible.

“I have work, Jewel,” I said, needing her to understand that moving here simply wasn’t an option for me at this time. “I have a firm to get back to. Open cases with clients who have been waiting for me to get back.”

She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. Tears started glittering in her eyes, her beautiful face slowly turning slack. “There has to be something we can do, Landon. If we love each other, we have to fight for it, right? Love isn’t something you just throw away.”

“It shouldn’t be, but I don’t see any options for us, Jewel. Not unless you want a relationship in which we only see each other for maybe one weekend a month and text back and forth until we run out of things to text about.”

“You’re giving up,” she whispered a moment later, giving her head a hard shake. “I didn’t think you were the type.”

“I’m not,” I said emphatically, fixing my gaze on hers. “If there was any way to make it work, I’d have done it, but realistically, the only way to do it is if one of us moves. You’ve got your business here. Your responsibilities. All of mine are back in LA.”

I shoved a hand into my hair, feeling that ache spread from my chest to the rest of my body like poison spreading through my veins. I fucking hated every moment of this. I couldn’t even tell her how much I deplored what I was doing right now, but just because something was easy didn’t make it right.

Falling in love with her had been easy, but it wasn’t right. It couldn’t be when there was no way to make it last. “I have Walt. I have work. I have Colt. I have to sort out my inheritance instead of just letting it sit there because I’m overwhelmed by it. I have to decide what my next steps are in my career.”

Fat, heavy tears welled on her eyelids, spilling over on her next blink to track wet streaks down her cheeks. “So this is it, then? Just like that, it’s over.”

I threw my arms out to my sides, feeling like my blood was turning to sludge. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears, that ache taking over my entire body. “What do you want from me here, Jewel? I love you, but that doesn’t mean I can just uproot my entire life and move to June Lake to be with you. People depend on me.”

“So do I,” she said tearfully, giving me one last look before she shook her head and left in a rush, slamming the door behind her.

I collapsed back in my chair, shoving both of my hands through my hair this time. “Fuck!”

That ache turned to excruciating pain, but it wasn’t physical and I knew it. It was just my heart and soul ripping themselves out of my body to follow her. That’s all, no biggie.

Everything in me pleaded to go after her. To run down the street and throw myself at her feet to beg for her forgiveness, but I didn’t move.

As much as it hurt, I knew it was for the best. I also knew Scott had been right earlier. I had been stringing her along. Not intentionally, but that didn’t make it any less true. I’d been acting as if the day we would have to leave would never come, or like things would work themselves out before then.

But there had never been any real possibility of this ending any other way than it just had. I’d done what had to be done, even if I already knew I would never be able to forgive myself for it.

And I had a feeling Colten wasn’t going to forgive me either.