Chapter 49

What a fucking day.

Bleary eyed, I got home late, emotionally spent after my negotiations with Kaitlin. I dragged my ass out of the truck and into the house, feeling the tension bleeding out of me now that I was here. It was quiet and cool inside, all the lights off except for the kitchen and a few others that would help me find my way.

The scent of melted cheese and pepperoni hung faintly in the air and I inhaled deeply, bummed to have missed pizza night but happy that it had been worth it. A sense of peace settled over me like a cloak as I strode further into the house, heading to the kitchen first in the hopes that they’d saved me a slice.

As I walked in, the first thing I saw was Jewel, her hair damp and up in a messy ponytail, her head buried in one of Lucille’s journals. She was in her pajamas with a light summer robe over them and her fingers wrapped around a cup of tea.

She looked up, smiling when she saw me. “Welcome home. How did it go?”

“It wasn’t easy, but I think we reached a resolution.” I didn’t stop walking until I reached her. Then I pulled her into my arms and kissed the top of her head. “How did it go here?”

“It was fine. Fun. Colten’s asleep.”

“I figured. I’m sorry to have missed him.” Breathing her in, I held her for another moment before I let go, reached behind me for a stool, and sat down. “Thanks for staying with him.”

“It wasn’t a problem at all.” Those warm brown eyes rested on mine. “Can I make you some tea?”

“I’d love some.” As I went to get up and tell her that I would make it, I noticed that the kitchen behind her was a disaster. There was water everywhere, with towels on the floor that had been soaked through. I frowned. “Whoa. What happened here? Did a pipe burst or something?”

She giggled as she shook her head, standing up and leaning across the island from me. “Colten and I had a water fight. I started it.”

I chuckled but only a little. I was too exhausted to offer much more than that. “Who ended it?”

“We both did. It seemed better to call a truce before the kitchen became a swimming pool.” Pushing away from the island, she turned and walked over to the kettle, filled it with water, and cocked a hip against the counter while she waited for it to boil. “Do you want to talk about it? The resolution you reached with Kaitlin.”

“I paid her off,” I said simply.

Her expression fell. “She took money from you?”

I nodded. “It took some doing, but eventually, she admitted it was all she wanted. Apparently, she felt like I owed it to her.”

“Owed it to her?” she echoed incredulously. “Why? She walked out and left you to raise your son all by yourself. If anyone owes anyone, she owes you for taking care of Colten for all these years.”

“You’d think, but nope.” I watched as she fixed my tea and made herself some more. Gratefully accepting the cup when she handed it over, I took a sip, winced, and set it down to cool a bit before turning back to her. “According to Kaitlin, she sacrificed her body to give me the greatest gift of my life. My son. It seems she’s always felt that she deserved some kind of compensation for that.”

Jewel’s features had gone completely blank. When she sat down again, she sagged onto the stool like her legs had been about to give out. “I can’t believe it. What kind of person does that?”

I shrugged. “At least she gave me a number eventually. Two and a half million dollars and a promise that we’d never see her again. Obviously, I agreed.”

Her eyes filled with tears and she brought a hand to her mouth, averting her gaze like she was trying to fight a sob. It didn’t work, though. Her shoulders started shaking, and when she blinked, the tears spilled down her cheeks in hot streams that didn’t look like they would ever end.

Surprised and confused, I leaned forward and squeezed her leg. “Hey, are you okay? What’s going on? You don’t have to worry about the money, Jewel. It was small change if you consider what I got in return. It?—”

Her eyes snapped back up to mine and she gave her head a soft shake. “I’m not crying about the money, Landon. These tears aren’t for you. They’re for Colten. To have a mother care so little about her son…” She trailed off, sobbing in earnest as she covered her face in her hands. “I just can’t wrap my head around it. Our moms are supposed to love us no matter what. They should turn down all the money in the world for a chance to know us.”

I blinked hard a few times, and then it occurred to me. “This is triggering for you, isn’t it? With your own mom taking off the way she did?”

Jewel jerked her chin in a nod. I got up and wrapped my arms around her, holding her while she sobbed. For my son. For herself. Probably for every other kid out there who’d had the misfortune of drawing a mother who didn’t give a shit in the lottery of life.

The more I thought about it, the more my own heart ached. All I’d felt before had been relief for the fact that Kaitlin’s sudden reappearance in our lives had been so temporary. I’d never thought about how it might make Colten—or even Jewel—feel to know that she’d only been here for money.

It fucking sucked.

I didn’t remember much about my mom. I had some snippets, flashes of memory I wasn’t sure had been real or whether I’d conjured up those mental images based on stories Walter had told me. But even though I’d been so young when she’d passed, I’d always known that she’d loved me more than anything.

Walter had made sure to keep her alive in my head and my heart, talking about her endlessly and constantly telling me how proud she had been of me. How proud she would’ve been. He’d told me about the promises she’d made him give her about caring for me as his own and how she’d only agreed to marry him after he’d sworn that he’d love me unconditionally.

Drawing in a shaky breath, I stroked my hand up and down Jewel’s back, trying to take care of her even if my own cup was darn near empty. When the sobs finally started subsiding, she wrapped her arms around my hips and stayed in the circle of mine as she lifted her head to look up at me.

“I adore your son. I’d do anything for him and I’ve only known him for, like, a month and a half. I guess I just don’t understand how Kaitlin could accept money and promise to stay away from him. Surely, he should mean more to her than that.”

“He should,” I agreed wholeheartedly. “Kaitlin isn’t like me and you, though. She wasn’t ready to be a mom when she got pregnant with Colt and I’m not sure if she ever will be ready, but she doesn’t value the same things we do. I’m jealous that you got to have a water fight with him tonight and I wasn’t here to join the fun, but she would’ve had kittens if she’d come home to this.”

I waved a hand at the mess. “To her, living isn’t spending time with a kid and that’s also fine. It’s not for everyone. Do I hate that my son has a mother like that? Sure. Do I wish that she would’ve turned down the money? Yeah, I kind of do. If I’d trusted her intentions, I would’ve allowed her into his life in a heartbeat, but I didn’t trust them and it turned out I was right to be suspicious.”

“I know. It just makes me so angry that she came and let him see her, and now she’s gone again and you’re going to be left to pick up the pieces. If she wanted money that badly, why not just call? Why show up and tell him that she wants to reconnect? That’s just cruel.”

“I agree, but I wouldn’t have given her money if she’d just called. Perhaps if she’d threatened to show up, I might’ve been willing to negotiate, but she did what she thought she had to do. You don’t have to worry about Colten. He’ll be okay. I’ll make sure of it.”

“I know you will,” she murmured, dropping her head against my chest once more and inhaling deeply. “I’m sorry. You’ve had a rough day and I’m making it even worse. I think I’m just going to go to bed.”

“Nah, you’ll never get any sleep like this.” I ran a hand down her arm and twined our fingers together. Then I pulled her up and led her to the second primary bedroom—my bedroom, since Colten had claimed the first.

Guiding her into the bathroom, I let go of her hand to open the faucet for the tub, running her a bath in the hopes that the warm water would ease her worries. This wasn’t her burden to bear, and if I was being honest, I could use it myself.

Various bottles and jars of scented bath products lined the windowsill on the opposite side of the tub and I grabbed a bottle of bubble bath and poured a generous amount of liquid into the stream. With that done, I headed over to the vanity, pulled a lighter out of the drawer, and went around the room to light the candles that had been left in here.

Dotted around the surfaces, I noticed them before but I hadn’t used them yet. This seemed like the time, though. Once the little flames were dancing around the wicks, I switched off the lights and went back to Jewel, this woman who already cared for me and my son in a way his mother never had.

A woman I’d fallen for without even trying. It all came so easily with her. So naturally that I hadn’t even fought it because why would I? It felt pretty damn good after being on my own for so long. I’d had all my walls up when we’d arrived, but Jewel, with her fiery soul and huge heart, had broken them down without me even realizing and now I was already in it.

I wasn’t the type to run or hide. I’d always faced whatever had come my way head on, and that was exactly what I was doing now.

As the water cascaded into the tub, I pulled off my shirt and kicked off my shoes, finally getting rid of my pants before I turned to her. Her face was bare of any makeup, her cheeks red and her eyes swollen from all the crying, yet she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.

Vulnerability shone like a beacon from her eyes and a protective monster roared within me, demanding that we claim this woman as our own and keep anything from ever hurting again. While I wasn’t in a position to touch that particular instinct with a ten-foot pole right then, just for tonight, I could ease her pain.

I could protect her from further hurt and help her sleep well instead of tossing and turning all night, marinating in the pain of her own abandonment. Stepping into her, I kept my gaze on hers as I reached for the sides of the robe, pushed it off her shoulders, and let it fall to the floor.

My eyes itched to drop to her chest when I pulled off her shirt. I loved her boobs. A deep, true love that I would never get enough of, but since tonight wasn’t about sex, I just looked deeply into her eyes instead.

Once the shirt was gone, I pushed off her pants and panties, then stepped into the bath and offered her a hand to help her in. Everything in me begged to touch her, to bury myself deep inside her body and lose myself in it for the night, but I didn’t give in to the urge.

Tonight, I wanted to take care of her. With the warm glow of the candles and the sweet scent of the bubbles in the air, I sank down into the water and rested my back against the edge. Then I pulled her down to sit between my legs.

She rested her head against my shoulder, her eyes closed as she leaned into me. Sliding an arm around her shoulders, I felt the even beat of her heart against my forearm and I found my own eyes closing as I laid my head on top of hers.

Today had been long and grueling, but getting to end it like this was fucking bliss. It was something I could definitely get used to. If only I could figure out a way to make it last for longer than the three weeks we had left here.