Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

Life had to resume some sort of normalcy before their trip, and it did. Piper went back to work, and Juno opened the bakery up again, then turned in his notice to vacate to the rental agency. They talked every day they shared a shift, and they texted on nights they didn't. Piper tentatively asked Juno when he wanted to travel, and Juno told him sometime after his lease was up.

And that was that.

Weeks passed—which turned into a month. Piper was on edge because he knew they were racing against a clock that had invisible numbers, but he wasn't going to push either. If all Juno wanted to do was make a list, he'd support him.

It was all he could do.

Kicking his feet up on his coffee table, Piper wished Juno had accepted his invitation to come over, but he was out of town visiting his friend, and Piper wasn't going to stand in his way. He'd had another doctor visit, and he didn't think things went well, though Juno said he'd talk about it when he got back.

They exchanged a few texts, and then Piper took his three days off to himself and bought a crochet kit from the bookshop craft section, which he hoped would keep him from going down internet rabbit holes. He had a veritable encyclopedia of information saved in his bookmark tabs that told him how to support a person losing their vision, but each and every one started with "let the person tell you what they need."

Apart from a few orgasms and some burritos, Juno hadn't really asked for anything. Piper could tell he wanted more, but he knew getting him to ask for it would be like getting blood from a stone. Juno was used to giving everyone what they wanted without considering himself. Maybe in some recovery from that, but he hadn't learned to put himself first entirely yet, and Piper could only hope he'd start feeling safe enough to trust him.

To lean on him.

To want a little more than what Piper offered.

Rubbing a hand down his face, he reached for his crochet kit when his phone began to chime with a video call. He didn't need to look at the screen icon to know it was his brother. He picked up, unable to help his grin. It was odd not seeing Nix every day, and while he enjoyed the freedom of knowing that Nix was taking care of himself and being loved as fiercely as he deserved, he still felt out to sea.

"You look happy."

Piper laughed. "Yeah? Because I'm getting ready to teach myself crochet, and I don't feel very happy."

Nix wrinkled his nose. "What for? You're not that old."

"I'm pretty sure it's better to learn before the arthritis kicks in," Piper said. He propped his phone up on his knee as he sat back. "You look good. How are things in California?"

"Hot," Nix said with a grimace. "A different kind of hot. I don't know if I like it."

"Mads getting by okay?"

"Better than me. But he's not that sensitive." Nix bit his lip and worried it between his teeth—his tell that he had something to say. Piper knew it was best to sit quietly and wait. "He wants to get married."

"He proposed?"

Nix laughed softly. "He knows better than that."

When he was little, Phoenix's therapist told Piper and their parents that with his autism came something called pathological demand avoidance. It was why asking him to do anything at all resulted in an automatic no and, when he was really young, huge bouts of screaming before he learned to regulate.

He was better about it now. His first instinct was to push back and refuse whenever it seemed like someone was demanding something from him with the expectation of him saying yes, but he could take a beat and think over what the person was really saying.

A proposal probably wouldn't have gone over the best, though, and Piper appreciated that Mads understood him enough to discuss marriage instead of popping the question.

"We've been talking about it for a few weeks. I wanted to get your blessing."

Piper was shocked. "Kiddo, you don't need my blessing. You have never needed my approval for anything. Will marrying him make you happy?"

"I don't know," Nix answered, probably a little too honestly. "I don't think I care about marriage, but he has some good points. His insurance"—he ticked off on his fingers—"tax benefits—which I don't get, but he does our taxes. And it'll be better for us to buy a house. And I think for him, it has some emotional significance."

"But not for you?"

Nix shrugged. "I love him whether or not he's my boyfriend or my husband. It doesn't change anything. But he likes the sound of me being his husband, and I want to do this for him."

"So why do you need my blessing?"

"I wanted to participate in something traditional. I don't care to ask Dad."

Piper smiled and didn't bother correcting his brother that typically Mads would be the one asking him. Or Nix should be asking Mads's family. Instead, he said, "I'm honored to give my blessing. He's going to be a great brother."

Nix smiled, his eyes lighting up. "Will you come to the wedding?"

"Literally nothing could keep me."

"It's going to be next month."

Except maybe Juno. Fuck. Piper bit the inside of his cheek.

"You're keeping a secret," Nix accused.

Piper let out a breath, annoyed at how well Nix could read him but also a little happy about it. "I met someone. A man," he clarified.

Nix nodded. "Okay. At the mall?"

"Actually, yes. He owns a bakery, and we've been getting to know each other. I really like him."

"Are you a couple?"

Piper shook his head. "Not yet." Maybe not ever. He had no idea where he and Juno stood apart from sex and friendship.

"I don't mind if you bring a sex guest," Nix said.

Piper almost choked on his own tongue. "He's not a…you know what, never mind. I'll have to ask him. We'd kind of started planning to travel, but I'm not sure if he can go."

"Will you be there if he can't?"

"Yes," Piper said. He wasn't actually going to miss his brother's wedding. Not for anything in the world. "Do you need help planning?"

Nix wrinkled his nose. "You can ask Mads. We plan to keep it really small with almost no people. But I'd like you to be my best man."

Piper felt his chest constrict, but this time in the best way. He'd always known his brother would be worthy of finding the love of his life, but he worried that everyone he met would be too shallow or too impatient to deserve him. But Mads was perfect.

"Count on me, kiddo."

"I'm not a kid."

Piper laughed. "But you'll always be my kiddo. I don't care if you're sixty."

Nix sighed, but he was smiling. "I have to go, but thank you. I love you."

"I love you too. Tell Mads I'll let him know if Juno can make it."

Nix's eyes lit up. "Like Jupiter's satellite. Mads would call it fate."

"I don't believe in that, but he might still be right. Talk later?" Nix nodded, then did what he always did and hung up before Piper could say goodbye. He dropped the phone to his side and grinned at his ceiling. His baby brother was getting married. And he might actually have a date for the wedding.

His phone buzzed, and he looked down, expecting to see Mads's or Phoenix's name. Instead, he saw Juno's.

Juno: I'm on my way home. Can I see you when I get in?

Piper: For good or bad things?

Juno: lol good, nerd.

Piper: Come over. Can't wait to kiss your lips.

There was no response, but he could picture Juno blushing, and that got his heart to racing all over again.

Juno got there an hour and a half later. Piper cooked, something he was trying to get better at, and he was pretty happy with how it turned out. He'd roasted an entire chicken stuffed with vegetables and surrounded by potatoes. It wasn't the prettiest, but it made the whole house smell herby and fresh.

He left the door open, and he heard it shut, then Juno's footsteps going from tile to carpet. Then a bag dropped. Not too long after, Piper turned and opened his arms just in time to catch Juno as he flung himself into the warm embrace.

"Hi," Piper said, smudging a kiss along Juno's temple.

He was flushed in the cheeks, his hair tied back with a few curly tendrils having escaped the hair tie. He was wearing a ratty T-shirt and swim shorts, and he looked freshly tanned like he'd spent all weekend at the beach.

Piper hoped he had.

"How was your trip?" He cupped Juno's face, loving the feel of his pale, rough stubble.

Juno smiled and shrugged. "It was nice. The waves were decent enough we could surf a little. Miles's boyfriend got stung by a jellyfish. His other boyfriend is a doctor, though, so he was able to treat it at the water."

Piper blinked at him. "He's got two?—"

"Yes, and please don't get all pearl-clutchy about it. I've never seen Miles happier."

Piper held up his hands. I would never. As long as he's being treated the way he deserves, that's all that matters."

Juno sagged against him. "Why are you so great?"

"Oh, sugar. I'm not that great. I just really like you."

Pulling back with a scoff, Juno looked over his shoulder, then grinned up at him. "You cooked? Aww, honey!"

Piper rolled his eyes and let him go so he could grab plates. "Something I've been working on since retiring. I rarely had time, and Nix's food issues were so intense there wasn't much point."

"Food issues?"

"It's part of his disorder," Piper said. "My parents tried to force him to eat, and it was so traumatic I think it made it worse. He only eats like twelve things, and he's on a ton of supplements. He had therapy for a while, but it just wasn't worth it for the stress it was causing him."

"I don't mean to pry," Juno said, and Piper realized his tone was snappy.

"It's not you. There's just stuff in my past that's still a bit…"

"Tender?"

Dropping the serving spoon, Piper reached for Juno and pulled him close again. He cradled his face and nuzzled a kiss against his lush mouth. "I want you to know me. Even the tender parts. So don't take my tone personally, and please call me out if I'm being a dick about something."

Juno pinched him lightly and grinned as he stepped away. "I'd promise, but that would be a straight up lie. I'll die in my discomfort, thank you."

It wasn't worth it to argue now, but Piper might push the issue later if he had the chance—if he was worthy of a chance. He plated dinner instead, then settled in a chair across from Juno, who looked happy but exhausted. He debated not dropping the travel news on him, but he also didn't want to drag it out.

"So—"

"I was?—"

They stopped, and Piper smiled, making a go-ahead gesture.

"You go," Juno argued.

Piper sighed, but it wasn't worth the fight. "My brother called. He and his boyfriend are getting married."

Juno's eyes went bright. "Wow! That's great, right? We still like this boyfriend?"

Piper nodded. "We still like him a lot. And I'm going to be the best man. It's, ah…it's next month."

Juno's face fell, though Piper could see him trying to control his emotions. "Oh. Yeah, no, that's great. I mean, we can put off the trip and?—"

"No," Piper interrupted. He couldn't stand to see that expression on Juno's face. "I mean, sure, if you want, but I'd like you to come. As my plus-one. And it'll tick the ocean sunset off your list."

Juno looked uncertain. "Your brother's never even met me. Are you sure you want that? I mean, won't that be weird?"

"It won't be weird unless you want it to be," Piper answered. "I really like you, sugar. A lot. I know you're going through some shit right now, so we don't have to talk about what any of this means, but I'd like to. Someday."

"Me too," Juno all but whispered. "Someday. Just…not yet? Not until I figure out what everything's going to be like? I don't want to lose you, but I need time."

"Whatever your decision is, you'll never lose me," Piper promised. It was one he felt confident in making. Would it destroy him to see Juno move on with someone else? Yes. But that wouldn't matter because he wanted Juno to be happy. To be safe. To be loved.

There was a long beat of silence, and then Juno said, "So. I was thinking next week we can take off. Is that too soon?"

It wasn't soon enough.

"Oh God." Juno groaned, rolling his body in time with Piper's fingers as they pushed past the tight ring of muscle in his ass. Piper loved him like this—spread out and wanton. He was flushed from his thick cock to his collarbones, and Piper leaned in, tasting the heat and salt of his skin. "More. Deeper. Can you…"

Piper removed his fingers, making Juno cry out, but he was left empty for only a moment. Piper grabbed the dildo from his nightstand that he'd bought months ago when he'd gotten a random erection, thinking his libido was coming back online. It hadn't, so he'd left it.

He hadn't realized he'd be using it for this, but he wasn't upset about it.

He was turned on and half-hard watching the blue silicone slip into his lover. His dick gave a feeble throb as Juno spread his legs wider, his back arching as Piper searched for and found his prostate. Juno's breath caught on a cry, and his knees began to tremble.

"I n-need…I need…"

Piper didn't wait for him to finish. He used his free hand to pin his hips, and then he swallowed Juno's cock down to the hilt, gave a single, hard suck, and felt him shudder. And then he came. Piper managed to swallow most of it this time, licking Juno clean as he pulled back, and he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand before turning off the vibration and easing the toy free from Juno's ass.

His hole was slightly loose—shiny and slick from the lube, trembling like it wanted to be filled again. Piper slid a finger inside, and Juno's whole body went lax.

"You like that, sugar?"

Juno hummed, nodding, eyes closed as he wriggled closer. The movement of his hip against Piper's cock made him gasp, and Juno opened his eyes. "Are you hard?"

"A little," Piper admitted.

Juno licked his lips. "May I touch you?"

Piper felt a sudden spike of fear. He knew there was almost no chance he was going to keel over from an orgasm, but he'd seen enough shitty movies where the old guy bit it from a good, hard fuck, and he didn't want that to be him.

But he also wanted to give Juno access to his body. As much pleasure as he'd been getting out of this, he knew the balance was off.

"Yes," he finally said, pulling his hand back.

Juno closed his eyes with a shudder, then opened them again. "I'll be so careful." He eased Piper onto his back, pulling his boxers down to display his dick. It was mostly soft, dribbling a little precome from the tip. His foreskin was covering the head entirely, and he groaned when Juno ran the tips of his fingers over it.

His cock plumped a bit.

"I think he likes me."

Piper rolled his eyes. "Don't talk about it like it's sentient."

Juno let out a small giggle, and then he picked up his cock and held it against his warm, burn-calloused palm. It felt so good to be touched like that. His dick remained stubbornly limp, but he didn't want Juno to stop.

"Can I suck on you?"

Piper moaned. "I won't be able to get hard."

"I know. But if it'll feel good…"

"It will. Fuck," Piper gasped. He hadn't realized how badly he needed it. He'd been neglecting himself, and this touch alone was so much.

Juno smiled at him—his grin like the sun—and he leaned in with parted lips. He was careful, just like he promised to be. His tongue touched his slit, teasing at the foreskin before he took him into his mouth fully. He didn't try to get him hard. Instead, he suckled gently while his free hand went to play with Piper's balls.

Frustration welled in him. He wanted to be like it was—when he was virile and well. He wanted to show off his size—to pin Juno to the wall and fuck him senseless. Instead, he was lying here like a limp fish.

"That's good," he said. His tone was a little rough.

Juno pulled back. "Am I doing something wrong?"

"It's all me, sugar." Piper squeezed his eyes shut as he pulled Juno close. "I'm frustrated with myself. I want to be more for you. I want to be better."

"I know." Juno didn't feed him platitudes about this being enough. He let Piper just feel his anger at his situation. It was what it was. And maybe it would get better, and maybe it wouldn't.

"Thank you," he whispered after a long beat.

Juno pulled back and cupped his cheek. "Kiss me." Piper did, without hesitation. Their tongues danced, and Piper could taste a little of himself on Juno's tongue. "I can't wait to travel with you." He settled against him and wrapped their legs together. "I'm going to close my shop this week."

"Are you upset about it?"

"Not as much as I thought I'd be," Juno admitted. "I'll need to figure out something because as you saw, I can't really bake in my own kitchen, but I think an at-home bakery is my best bet. It'll give me the chance to learn how to do this without my sight."

Piper wanted to point out that Juno had already been given an offer to stay here. But it was too soon to bring it up again. "Whatever you need from me."

"Right now," Juno said softly, turning his face against Piper's chest and kissing the space over his heart, "just this."

Well. He could definitely do that.