Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

Juno was a pretty vanilla guy. He had a couple of kinks—like being praised and being doted on, though he wasn't sure he could really call those kinks. He thought maybe if he'd grown up differently, he might have liked sex rougher, but as he was now, he didn't.

He liked it exactly the way Piper gave it to him: Slow. Hot. Tender.

Once he was done with his little DNA kit, Piper carefully laid him out, stripped him down, sucked him until he was on the edge, then carefully played with his hole until he was a shaking mess.

Only when he was begging with his whole body did Piper allow him to finally come. Juno hadn't thought he'd ever like being edged. The idea of it felt like it could be cruel—like it could be used to torment instead of tease—but Piper didn't make him feel like that.

He didn't make him feel like he had to earn the pleasure.

Instead, it felt like he was trying to draw each minute out for eternity so Juno would never stop feeling good.

He was still trembling when Piper soothed him with soft kisses, and Juno's breathing was just starting to even out when Piper went to the bathroom and brought back a wet washcloth. He didn't complain about how small Juno's place was or how ragged his things were. He didn't say anything about how the hand soap on the edge of his sink was mostly water at this point.

He just washed Juno off, then curled his larger body around him. Through his shirt, Juno could feel how hard his heart was beating, and he turned, a little afraid. He pressed his palm to the center of Piper's chest.

"Tell me you're okay."

Piper kissed him softly. "I'm okay. My heart works a little harder now, and I was really into what we were doing."

Juno's eyes cut down to the crotch of his slacks. "Yeah?" He didn't mean to sound so skeptical, but Piper didn't take offense. He just laughed and kissed him again, making Juno's toes curl.

"I told you I get off on making you feel good. It doesn't show itself in the same ways as it used to. And I promise you, once I get a clean bill of health, I'm going to ask my doctor for some pills, and I'm going to show you exactly how good you make me feel."

Juno's face went white-hot, and his dick gave a feeble twitch. He rolled his hips forward, and Piper reached between them, squeezing his soft cock. It sent tendrils of warm pleasure rushing through him. Christ, he didn't know he could feel this way.

Was this how it was between Oliver and Victor when they'd first met? Or Victor's friend Emil when he fell for the hot professor Juno had met at the wedding?

He was tempted to get up and get his phone so he could ask, but staying in Piper's arms was more appealing.

"Thank you for today," Juno finally said. He hadn't wanted to leave Piper that morning, and the fact that he'd called in and returned so quickly had meant everything. The gifts had been a bonus Juno still didn't know how to process.

He'd never been loved on like this before. His past relationships—if he could call them that—had been with people who acted like he should be grateful they even looked his way. He'd taken what he could get, but they always left him in the end.

It was an echo of how it had been when he was a child. His own parents had cared about themselves more than him, and his biological family hadn't wanted the reminder.

He'd been picked a couple of times for potential adoption, but Juno hadn't been a good kid. He embraced how much he wanted affection now, but when he was a kid, he'd kept his cards close to his chest. The foster moms had wanted a pliant, loving boy whose personality matched his baby face and his little curls.

Instead, they'd gotten a bitter, angry brat who repeatedly bit the hand that fed him.

He wasn't sorry for it. As a kid, he hadn't wanted a new family. He'd wanted the miracle of his own family realizing their mistakes and coming back to get him. It hadn't been until he was in his late teens that he realized that fantasy would never come true.

Maybe he had decent people out there who were related to him. Maybe he'd even find them in the test results.

But in that moment, he was pretty sure no matter what he found, it wouldn't beat the feeling of curling into Piper's chest and just existing there.

It made him wonder if he could give this up. If he would, when push came to shove and Piper asked for more than Juno was sure he could give. He wanted a happily ever after. He wanted a forever, the same way Miles had and the way Oliver had. But he wasn't sure if he'd be any good at it, and Piper deserved someone who was.

"So," Piper said, stroking his nails along Juno's scalp, "the little DNA book thing says the results take four to six weeks."

Juno knew that. He'd researched the hell out of the genetic kit. "Yeah."

"Might want to mail it out soon."

Juno pulled back and looked up, adjusting his gaze so his blind spot wasn't making Piper's face fuzzy. "Eager to pawn me off?"

Piper's face fell, and Juno realized his joke had fallen flat. "I would never."

"I was kidding." Juno swung his legs over the bed as the realization hit him: they didn't really know each other. And there was a heaviness between them that would probably break most people. He stood up and stretched, then turned to look back at Piper. "Sorry. I have a dark sense of humor."

Piper shook his head. "Don't be sorry. I'm sensitive. My brother has been viciously bullied for most of his life, so I can get a little defensive."

Juno frowned. "Why were kids such dickheads to him?"

"He's autistic," Piper answered with a shrug. "Smart as a whip and really nerdy. He liked a lot of cool stuff, but he liked it more than most people were willing to listen to him go on and on about it. He had a therapist when he was younger who suggested this shitty therapy that tried to force him into masking. He hated it, and no matter how long my parents forced him to go, it never worked."

"That sounds like a good thing," Juno said.

"Oh, it was. When I learned about it, I was pissed. Neither of us ever forgave them for it, but he acted out, and kids noticed. And they were massive assholes."

Juno winced. He'd had plenty of autistic friends growing up, and he'd seen how vicious people could be. "That sucks."

"He's good now. And honestly, he's been good for a long while. I just couldn't see it. He could always take care of himself, but we really only had each other growing up. It's hard to let go." Piper stood up from the bed and rubbed his sternum with the heel of his palm. Juno wondered if his heart was still racing. "He resents me a little for it. I think that's why he's not eager to come back here."

Juno didn't know what to say to that. He would have given anything—literally anything—for a brother who loved him that much. But he also knew the grass was always greener, so he understood. He walked up to Piper and held him by the face, stealing a quick kiss.

"I appreciate you. And if I ever say anything that makes you uncomfortable…"

"I'll straighten my spine and deal with it. I like you as you are," Piper said, cupping his jaw and drawing a line over Juno's lower lip with his thumb.

"Or just tell me to stop being an ass."

Piper smiled, but his only real argument was to shake his head. "Where do you want to eat?"

"You're letting me choose?" That was a novelty. Juno was never pushy, so the few friends he had were used to doing whatever they wanted. He was just happy to tag along.

Piper's face softened, and he lifted Juno's knuckles to his lips. "You choose." Then he kissed them.

If Juno's constitution had been any weaker, he would have swooned like a Victorian damsel.

He chose burritos, then waited for Piper to complain before realizing that he was probably used to having the same things over and over because of his brother. Burritos were Juno's comfort food, which was something he sorely needed right then. He, Miles, and Oliver used to hunt for change when they were kids, then sneak out and buy the two-dollar burritos at Brews and Beans—a little cheap kiosk in a gas station that had long since closed.

He showered off before they left since he didn't want to go out into public smelling like his own jizz, then dressed in tight jeans and a loose button-up because it was hot already, and it was only going to get hotter. Piper gave him an appreciative look, then held out a hand and kept their fingers tangled on the way to the car.

Juno put the DNA shipping package together as they headed down the street, and he passed it off as Piper drove past the post office drop-box. It hit the metal bin with a loud thud, and his chest tightened a little. In four to six weeks, he might know something.

He closed his right eye and stared at how big the blind spot had gotten—and at how little color he had left. It wasn't black and white. It wasn't like he'd seen in the movies or anything like that. Everything was just softer, and hues ran together into one sort of dull chartreuse with different shades of grey and black mixed in.

If he tilted his eye all the way up as far as he could go, he could see some details, but it was still blurred. He held up his phone and tried to read the text, but he could only see pieces of it.

"You okay?" Piper asked.

"Yeah. Tracking my progress," Juno admitted. He reached down between his feet and picked up the journal Piper had given him. He'd gone with the dark pages—the white made his head ache a bit—and he pulled the cap off the blue metallic marker.

It looked gorgeous against the dark pages.

"You gonna draw me something?"

Juno looked over and laughed. "I can't draw."

"I've seen your cookies," Piper said with a scoff.

"Yeah. I trace those, honey. I'm good at design. I can't sketch for shit, which is probably a good thing, considering," he waved at his eyes.

Piper licked his lips. "You adding to your list, then?"

"I wanted to start it."

"Jupiter and Saturn," Piper said.

Juno wrote them down. "Can you see them from the space station?"

With a small laugh, Piper shook his head. "Not any better than you can see them from Earth."

"It would be cool to take a rocket to Jupiter," Juno mused as he drew a little planet beside the name. "Can we do that?"

"It takes five and a half years to get into Jupiter's orbit," Piper said.

Juno let out a low whistle. "That would be a long vacation."

With a laugh, Piper shrugged. "Yeah, sugar. It would be. But hey, maybe we'll be alive for the first leisure travel, hmm?"

"Would you go?"

"If I had incentive and didn't have to go alone." He winked, and Juno flushed. "Add the northern lights on your list too."

Juno obeyed, adding the lights in bold block letters beneath the two planets. He put the cap back on and tapped his lip. "Sunset over the ocean?"

"West Coast," Piper reminded him. He put his blinker on when the GPS directed him to the turn, and Juno could see the burrito stand sign in the distance. "I wouldn't mind going. My brother would be happy to see me."

Juno's heart clenched in his chest. "What would he think of me?"

Piper's brow furrowed as he considered the question. Then his lips twitched the way they did when he was holding back a laugh. Juno didn't see that expression on him often, but the more time they spent together, the more familiar it was getting. It made his chest warm with happiness.

"What do you think of Xena?"

Juno sat up straighter. "The OG lesbian queen? I stan."

Piper threw his head back with a laugh. "And Superman or Batman?"

Juno scoffed. "I'm not a comics guy, but Batman's basically just Elmo Musk or whatever his fucking name is, if he was allowed to murder people and call it vigilante justice. Besides, Superman was Christopher Reeve, Henry Cavill, and Tyler Hoechlin. Batman doesn't have shit on him, and I'm sorry if your brother hates me for that."

Piper's grin looked like it was going to split his face in two. He pulled into a parking spot, threw the car in park, then grabbed Juno by the chin and kissed him fiercely. "He's going to love you. But it wouldn't matter either way. I'd like you even if you chose the murdering billionaire."

They ate inside the little shop, taking a table by the window, and Juno got full on the free chips and salsa before his food came. Piper laughed at him, but he didn't hesitate when Juno complained about wanting a foil wrap to take it with him. He just smiled and leaned over the table, kissing him freely like he didn't give a shit who was watching.

Juno basked in it. He closed his eyes partway through wrapping his burrito and did most of it by feel. It made his stomach hurt with anxiety, but not as badly as it did when he was trying to frost cupcakes blind.

He could feel Piper's silence, though. It was heavy.

"Sorry." Juno opened his eyes and blinked against the blind spot. He wasn't sure he'd ever stop wishing for a miracle—for the doctor to have been wrong. For it to just go away. Instead, he was pretty sure it had gotten a little bigger.

"Don't be sorry. I get it."

"I just…I don't know. I feel like I need to practice—to be ready if— when —it happens."

Piper said nothing. He reached over and took Juno's food, setting it into the paper bag along with a fresh order of the chips and salsa to take with them. His face was drawn, and Juno wondered if he was going to get tired of him being such a fucking downer.

He could fuck the melancholy out of Juno, that much he'd proven, but it wasn't lasting. Eventually, reality would settle in, and Juno's panic would return.

He picked at a loose bit of plastic around the edge of the table. "I might have to get a cane."

"You get lessons for those, right?"

Juno shrugged. There were all the brochures from his doctor he hadn't looked at. There were websites in case he procrastinated so long that by the time he got around to it, he wouldn't be able to read them. He wondered how many patients were like him.

"Want me to do some research for you?"

Juno looked at him sharply. "Why?"

"Because having this big, looming thing hanging over you is hard enough to process. When you have to educate yourself while you're trying to deal with it, you're not going to retain as much as you need. Phoenix was the one who looked up my condition, and the treatments, and my prognosis."

"Phoenix?"

Piper looked startled. "My brother. Sorry, I didn't realize I never told you his name." He shoved his arm under the table and came back up with his phone. Tapping on the screen a few times, he passed it over, and Juno looked down at the older version of the boy he'd seen in Piper's photos. "This is him now."

There were strong genetic similarities—in the nose mostly, and the eyes, and the way their mouths turned down at the corners. Phoenix's skin was naturally a darker tan, and he had freckles all over his face like someone had flicked a paintbrush along his cheeks. His eyes were bright and inquisitive, and his hair was very dark.

"Most people think he's my kid. He was the oops baby," Piper said with a small smile. "My parents were pretty disconnected by the time he reached his formative years, so I took over, and they willingly let me."

"So he just moved in with you?"

"Yeah. They decided to move to El Golfo, Mexico, and he had no interested in going. My dad came into a little bit of cash, so he invested in property. They built some cabanas and run a little resort there. Phoenix was twelve."

Juno blew out a hard puff of air. "Seriously? God, what is with parents just dropping their fucking kids like we don't matter?" His whole body was alight with frustration, bordering on rage. "They're the ones who made us, and they don't think twice about making us someone else's responsibility?"

He stopped when Piper reached out and took his hand, rubbing his thumb against the inside of his wrist. "It sucked, but I didn't mind. I was in postgrad school, and Nix was really self-sufficient. He stayed with my aunt whenever I'd have to go up"—Piper gestured toward the sky—"but it could have been worse."

Juno realized he couldn't project his own pain all over someone else's history. "Sorry. It's…a tough subject for me."

Piper kissed his palm, letting his lips linger there until Juno's breathing was even again. "Nix resents our parents for their selfishness, and I resent them for making him feel like shit. But they had already done a crappy job with him. At least I could take over and let him live a life where he could both be himself and be happy."

Juno curled into himself a little. A small part of him didn't care if his parents would have done the worst job in the world so long as they'd actually tried. But he also knew that wasn't fair. And that he wouldn't feel the same way if those had been his circumstances.

"I'm sorry if I've upset you," Piper said.

Juno shook his head. "You didn't." It wasn't quite the truth, but it also wasn't a lie. Juno was shouldering a lot, so even the small things felt like the world on Atlas's shoulders. "Can we go home?"

Piper nodded, then stood and extended his hand. It felt good to take it, to hold it. To keep Piper close. For the first time in a long, long while, he didn't feel so alone.