Chapter 31

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

R ae

The knock on the door startles me. I slosh tea over the side of the mug I'm holding and onto the sweater vest I've been wearing since Hutton and Henry left yesterday.

"Shit," I mutter, trying to brush off the drops of tea before they soak into the yarn. I lean over to rest the mug on the end table and brush my hands through my hair. I'm not exactly fit for seeing people. I haven't really left this spot on the couch other than to make more tea and head for the bathroom.

The knock comes again, louder this time. "Let me in, Rae!"

It's Janna. I heave myself off the couch and walk toward the front door, feeling old and creaky when every joint I own pops and cracks. That's what I get for not eating or moving the last twenty-four hours. I throw open the door and Janna's bright smile fades as quickly as my sugar high when the boys left. All that was good about Christmas has been sucked away yet again.

"Oh, honey," she says, rushing inside, slamming the door, and enveloping me in a bear hug.

The impact sets me back a step. The door blurs a bit and stars dance across my vision. "Hi," I say weakly. "I think I need to eat something."

Janna releases me, only to manhandle me into the kitchen and push me down into a chair at the little table where I ate with the boys. I can still see crumbs all over the chair and floor where Henry ate. Tears burn my eyes.

"I'll make some eggs and toast. You just tell me what happened. The rumor around town is that Hutton drove out of here yesterday. Why didn't you call me?"

I shrug, feeling like the weight of the world is pressing in on me and I just don't have the strength to push back. "I was too busy wallowing."

"Oh, honey," Janna says again, clanking around the kitchen like she's trying to beat the eggs and toast into submission instead of cook them. "I've been trying to call you since I heard last night. When I didn't hear back from you, I rushed over first thing. Haven't you looked at your phone?"

I shake my head, but stop quickly when the movement brings the dizziness back. "Nope. I figure a clean break is what I need. I even researched online how to set up a block on the internet so I don't see any news reports about Hutton."

I also unfollowed him on all social accounts. There's no way I can get over this heartbreak if I still see news reports and paparazzi shots of him all over the world. Of course, I had to go and fall in love with an internationally recognized celebrity instead of the typical guy next door who'd just melt into the past as a distant memory.

Janna clanks a plate in front of me with two scrambled eggs and a piece of barely warmed toast with a pad of unmelted butter in the middle. She slides into the seat Hutton always sat in.

"Tell me everything while you eat." She clasps her hands under her chin, elbows on the table and stares at me.

I know from past experience there'll be no getting her out of my house until I spill my guts. So I do. I tell her about every little thing between Hutton and me. How I fell for both boys, told Hutton I loved him—and he didn't say it back—and how we said goodbye. By the time I finish, I've eaten every bite of food on my plate. It wasn't particularly good, but anything is better than more lukewarm tea.

Janna's mouth hangs open as she continues to stare at me. I finally bring my hand up and snap my fingers in front of her face. She blinks and smacks her lips closed.

"Wow." She puts her hand on mine and squeezes. "First of all, I'm proud of you for telling him how you feel. That's very risky and I know how risk averse you are. Secondly, I love that your art is finally being seen, and if Hutton is to take credit for that, I guess I won't string him up by the balls like I've been planning."

"Janna…" Just hearing his name sends a dagger through my heart.

She releases me and folds her arms across her chest, light eyebrows drawn together. "What? I warned him. I just need to find a guitar pick to make good on it."

I huff a laugh and nearly startle myself off the damn chair. My heart isn't into it, but it feels good to know I still have the ability to laugh. "Calm yourself. He didn't do anything wrong. He was clear about his intentions to leave, and I let myself fall for him anyway."

Janna wrinkles her nose and drops her arms. "I mean, how could you not with an ass like that?"

"I know!"

We smile at each other for a few moments before the sadness barrels back in and it slides off my face. Janna reaches over again and takes my hand. "Let's take your mind off things for a minute. Have you checked your phone at all?"

I shake my head. "No, not since I figured out how to set up that block on his name."

Janna bites her lip, looking like she's a bit unsure of herself. Which is so out of character, I get nervous.

"What? Tell me now." My heart begins to race, fearing the worst. Did someone find out where Hutton had spent Christmas? Did they post horrible things about me? I'm not exactly super photogenic. If paparazzi came to Snowhaven, they probably got me bent over in an unflattering position or stuffing my face with a sugar cookie.

She jumps up and runs to the kitchen to grab my phone off the charger. She presses the side button and waits for it to come on before setting it in front of me. "It's all good news, I promise. Mayor Nancy's posts from The Nutcracker performance have gone semi-viral, which means your artwork is out there for the masses. Then Morgana posted about the mural you did at the lodge."

Now I'm the one gaping. "She did?" At the time I finished my first large scale mural at their lodge—a rendition of the northern lights from Aksel's homeland—I asked her to keep it under wraps. She agreed, but clearly changed her mind. Knowing her, she probably didn't want Mayor Nancy getting the credit for bringing attention to my artwork.

My phone finally comes online and begins to buzz. And buzz and buzz and buzz. Notifications fill my screen one after the other, no end in sight.

"Oh, shit…"

I hit play on the first of ten voicemails. A woman identifies herself as someone in the office of the mayor of Manhattan Beach, California, saying they'd like to talk to me about commissioning a wall at the new aquarium they're building at the pier. She leaves her number and hangs up. I scroll a bit, seeing all kinds of different area code numbers have left me voicemails too. My finger's shaking by the time I look back up at Janna.

She's gazing at me with a proud smile, eyes shiny. "Told you it was all good. Maybe your mama was wrong after all. You can make a living with your art."

My fingers find my mouth, trying to hold in a breathy sob. Not from heartache this time, but from the realization of a dream I didn't think would ever come true.

"What do I do?" I whisper.

Janna jumps out of her chair. "I'm going to go get Morgana. We'll sit down with her agent and see what he suggests." She starts for the front door, then doubles back to throw her arms around my shoulders and squeal in my ear. "This is your big break, Rae!"

She's cackling with glee as she runs out of the house. I look around in the silence that quickly takes over after she leaves, my heart thundering in my chest. Mom worked hard to provide for me, always working two jobs and putting her art on the back burner. She saw life as a realist, but Hutton had opened my eyes to possibility. I'd begun to hope, dream a little. If only Mom could see me now.

I jump to my feet, the chair scraping against the floor. I can't let this opportunity pass me by. I can't just sit here wallowing in my broken heart and let all this attention go to waste. Mom would kill me. I'd kill me. Didn't they say that all the best art came out of a broken heart? I planned to funnel that shit into the best art pieces of my freaking life.

Before I can talk myself out of it, I grab my phone and hit dial on that California number. The same woman answers and I identify myself. She seems happy to hear from me and says she'll email me the details about the project so I can submit a proposal. I ask her what their budget is and promptly sit right back down when I hear a number that would cover all the expenses for the next six months of my life. I hang up in a daze, wishing I had someone with me to celebrate this achievement.

"Nope!" I snap out loud. "I will not let myself wallow."

Instead, I stand up, straighten my back, and then break out into a ridiculous dance to absolutely no music and cha-cha my way into my bathroom to start the shower. Janna fed me. Now I need to get some hygiene going and make a plan for the rest of my life. I see my reflection in the mirror, a disheveled version of myself in the sweetest sweater I've ever owned. I take it off and fold it. Then I grab a chair and place the sweater vest on the tallest shelf in my closet where I won't see it on a daily basis. With that done, I shower, put on some makeup, and wear my longest feather earrings. I almost feel like a new woman.

The doorbell rings again as I'm scrolling through my social media and making a list of people I need to follow up with. Thinking it's Janna, I open it right away.

"Rae Dunn! Just the woman I'm looking for!" Mayor Nancy stands on my doorstep in a pressed pantsuit while most people are still in their Christmas jammies.

I lean against the door. "Hi there. Thanks for posting those pictures. I'm still going through all the messages, comments, and voicemails."

"When you're a big famous artist, don't forget the woman who gave you a leg up." She swipes her hand through the air with a laugh. "Actually, I prefer you remember Snowhaven." She hands me a manilla folder.

I take it and look at the top page. "What's this?"

"What are you going to paint? Want to give me the scoop?"

Nancy looks like she's on the trail of the best scoop of gossip this town has ever seen. "What are you talking about?"

She flails her hands toward the folder. "It's all in there, but Hutton Calder brokered a deal for you to paint a mural on the side of the new parking garage downtown. You'll see there's a check, also. It's not a lot, but it's what the Snowhaven budget could afford."

My brain goes offline as soon as she utters Hutton's name, but as I flip through the pages, I see where he signed off on a deal that has me painting whatever I want on the side of the parking garage, with Nancy giving final approval. And the check that "isn't a lot" has five figures.

My head snaps up to find her smiling at me like she knows something I don't. "When…? How?"

"That man believes in you. I've never seen anyone do something so sweet. Plus that ass…" She winks and then heads down the walkway to her car. "I'll call you later to go over ideas!"

I close the door and lean up against the wall, head spinning. I snap the folder together again and head for the table to read through it all. By the time I go through the paperwork twice, I flop back in the chair.

"Holy shit."

Even if he didn't say the words, or couldn't say them, I know Hutton has feelings for me. This is not the action of a man who doesn't care about me, that much I know. I'm not mad at him for not telling me, or for leaving. I'm just sad that he won't let us find a way to be together.

An idea hits and I jump to my feet again. Fueled by creative ideas swirling, I go with the muse instead of the heartache. This is the part I love, the part I'm going to cling to with every ounce of energy I have. When inspiration hits and I forget to eat or sleep until I've produced the piece I see clear as day in my head, that's when magic happens. And I need a hit of magic right about now.

I jam my feet into boots and drive my beat-up car into downtown Snowhaven. I park on the street outside the parking garage, engine still running. The wall Hutton arranged for me to paint is huge. Two stories and probably a hundred feet wide. Construction fencing is still up around the site as they finish painting the interior lines. I shut off the engine and climb out. Slipping through a gap in the fencing, I tilt my head back as I take in the space. My feet carry me back and forth, taking in the surrounding area, the sky, the landscaping that will one day be in place and thriving. I can see it all, the way the colors and shapes will bring this space to life.

"Staring off into space again, Rae?"

I twirl around, the smile on my face fading as I take in Tori and Gavin on the sidewalk, peeking through the fence. He's in his plumber's uniform with a Styrofoam box in his hands. They look like they're coming back from a quick lunch together. Tori's face, once so pretty and dear to me, is ugly with maliciousness. She rubs her hand over her barely extended belly, a clear reminder dig at me that she's pregnant.

"Planning, actually," I respond. My brain flashes to Hutton, the way he stood up to these two clowns so fiercely outside the theater. Hutton was only here a short while, and yet I feel like his imprint on my life has been immeasurable.

"You know, we're having a baby shower next month. You're welcome to come!" Tori's voice is dripping with sugar. "If that wouldn't make you too uncomfortable, of course."

The zinger doesn't sting like it once would. Not when I've experienced a healthy, happy, love-filled relationship. What I had with Gavin was never as good as the short weeks with Hutton. I feel for Tori, actually. She's married to that asshat and is now having his baby.

"Sorry, I'll be in LA for an installation. I'll be sure to send a gift though."

Tori's cheek twitches like she's not sure if she should laugh, make another snide comment, or snap at me. She opens her mouth and then closes it. Gavin glances between us and does something he's never done before: he takes the high road.

"Well…good luck." It's not a great compliment by any means, but it's more than he's ever said before. He takes Tori by the elbow and rushes her down the street to where they must have parked their car.

I watch them go, a weird mix of proud and sad. Proud that I stood up for myself finally—even if the answer was a bit of a stretch of the truth. Sad that Hutton isn't here to kiss me until I forget all about my ex and his new wife. Which is exactly where they belong: forgotten. The hold those two had over me is gone. The shame that would creep in anytime they were around is nowhere to be found and I couldn't be happier about that.

Spinning back to the parking garage, I go over plans in my head, adjusting lines and colors. I'm eager to get back home and map it out on paper before presenting my idea to Mayor Nancy. One day I hope Hutton comes back to town to visit with Henry. I hope I'm there to see that dimple pop out as he sees what I painted.

For him.

For everyone just like him who visits our beautiful town of Snowhaven.

Mayor Nancy Haney: Can you believe all the press Rae's getting?? She's putting Snowhaven on the map!

Dagny: We don't want on any map, genius! Too many lookie-loos.

Mayor Nancy Haney: More lookie-loos mean a booked-up ski lodge. And now we have a parking garage downtown to hold the masses! Can you hear those cash registers dinging??

Janna: I think Snowhaven is doing just fine as a small town. I'm happy for Rae, but I hope her success doesn't bring the wackos out. Morgana sure had to deal with that.

John Ross: You think she might be in danger? I can call Hig and see if he can check in with her…

Chief Blade: No one is in danger. And if they are, they should call me, not Hig. That guy has access to too many hunting bows for my level of comfort.

Doc: Oh please, Hig wouldn't hurt a fly.

Doc: But he could make a move on Rae. You know. Give her a shoulder to cry on?

Janna: She loves Hutton, dummy!

Doc: Hey, no name-calling! I'm just saying…Hig could be the rebound guy! I always shipped those two…

Mayor Nancy Haney: Can we focus on capitalizing on the increase in traffic through our small town?

Chief Blade: I am! I've already handed out double the number of speeding tickets.

Mayor Nancy Haney: I meant, by showing hospitality, not ticketing them! Jesus. Must I do everything myself around here??