Chapter 24

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

H utton

"I'm sorry, but no girls allowed this trip." I put my hand on Henry's shoulder while he looks up at Rae like he might cry. He darts forward and hugs her leg, pressing his face into her thigh like she might disappear if he doesn't hold on tight enough.

"I miss you, Rae-Rae."

Rae squats down and gives him a proper hug. My son looks just as smitten with this woman as me. She pushes his hair out of his eyes and gifts him with the kind of smile that warms your insides.

"I'll be right here when you get back and we can make more sugar cookies to sell at The Nutcracker performance!"

Henry seems mollified and lets her go, tugging me out of the kitchen. I stall long enough to press a kiss to Rae's cheek as she stands back up. She shoots me a wink but the light in her eyes doesn't seem as bright this morning. Even her wave as we exit the house looks tight. Like she's forcing the happiness that came to her so easily just the day before.

As I get Henry in his car seat and pull out onto the road headed into downtown Snowhaven, I can't help but think it's my fault. Our conversation last night had been a deep one, just like I wanted, and yet I can't help but feel like I failed her with my answers. She wants a family. A partner. A successful art career. I want to give her all of that, just to get that true smile back, but I know I can't. I learned early on that a successful career in music wasn't conducive to family life. Hell, I failed my own son up until just a few weeks ago. I needed to make things right with him before I could even think about a relationship. I owed my fans an explanation if I decided to take a more part-time approach to my career. All that had to happen first.

I went after everything, and I have nothing to show for it.

Rae's words hit me for more than one reason. I hate that she feels that way about her life. I view her as a successful, beautiful person with a wide variety of talents and a generous heart that's rare in this world. To feel like she has nothing is just plain sad. It's also sad that her words hit home for how I'm feeling too. That restlessness that had a hold on me feels a lot like I've been busy, but I too, have nothing to show for it. Nothing that matters anyway.

"Daddy?"

I blink back to the present and pull into an open parking space in front of the hardware store. "Yeah, buddy?"

"Does Santa always bwing the pwesents wittle kids ask for?"

I take my time getting out of the truck and unbuckling his car seat, feeling like this is one of those topics that could blow up on me if I don't answer carefully. "I think Santa tries his very hardest, but sometimes what we want isn't something the elves can make up in the North Pole."

Henry rolls his lips in and out, thinking on what I said. He finally hops out of his car seat. "Okay."

I lock the truck and take his hand in mine. Why do I feel like I dodged a Henry-sized bullet with that answer? I can't help but remember what he asked Santa for and feel like I'm letting everyone down.

"Come on. Let's go buy some things for Rae-Rae."

He seems to like that idea and follows me from store to store, pushing carts and holding bags. We end our shopping trip at a cute little shop on the end of Main Street that sells every conceivable thing a home could want. I spot three stockings on a makeshift mantel and beeline right for them. My thumb traces across the embroidered Christmas tree and the bright presents under the boughs. It reminds me of our tree back at Rae's home. It's perfect.

"If you have thirty minutes, I can even embroider your names on those stockings," a woman's voice says from behind me. Henry shifts behind my leg as I spin around to see the shopkeeper, a woman in overalls and dangling candy-cane earrings. She has three pencils jammed into the messy bun on top of her head and a pair of readers perched on top. I like her instantly.

"Henry and I were thinking about getting lunch. After all this shopping, we're starving, huh, buddy?" Henry looks up at me and nods vigorously. "I'd love to take you up on the names."

The woman gently takes all three stockings from me and then bends down to talk to Henry. "Hi, Henry. I'm Shelly. Do you like gingerbread cookies?"

Henry pops his head out from behind me at the mention of cookies. He looks up at me for guidance. My encouraging smile must have been enough to get him talking. "I Henwy. I wike sugar nookies."

Shelly, bless her, doesn't blink an eye. "Oh! Me too! Want to come see what we have? You can pick out one for after lunch with your daddy."

Henry moves away from me and follows Shelly to the counter at the back of the store. I follow, helping him pick out a cookie, which Shelly tucks into a plastic baggie for later.

"Okay, so what names am I embroidering?" she asks, pad and pen at the ready after she rings up the stockings.

I flash my credit card at the reader and spell out Henry, Rae, and Hutton. Shelly's eyebrows nearly join the pencils in her hair. "You know we got a friendly bet going 'round town about you kids."

I must not have heard her right. "A bet?"

Shelly hands me my receipt and catches my hand in hers, squeezing tightly. "We love Rae around here. She deserves a good man."

I swallow hard, not able to formulate a response when she lets me go. She waves to Henry and shoots me a knowing look, not much different than when Mama tells me to do something and has a feeling I might not do it. Like she's reminding me she's got eyes in the back of her head and she's watching me. I smile weakly and hurry to exit the store with Henry.

"Let's get cheeseburgers at Yolks & Yodels."

Henry's cheer makes me wish I did this more often with my son. We barely get seated in a booth by the jukebox and suddenly two men are hovering by us. The one with dark hair and strands of silver lining his temples looks me over. He's dressed nicely. Pretty sure that Gucci belt isn't a knockoff either.

"You Hutton Calder?" he asks, giving up the pretense of looking through the songs in the jukebox.

"I am," I say, tensing, wondering if I'll need to grab Henry and dart out of here. I've been stormed by fans in public before, and it's a terrifying experience. Add in my son though, and I'll go absolutely ballistic if anyone harms a hair on his head.

The man sticks out his hand. "I'm Hig Lindley, owner of Rich Grinds, the coffee shop, and co-owner of the new hunting lodge. This here is Hoss. He's a general contractor in Snowhaven. Done a lot of work for me over the years."

I shake his hand and then Hoss's, purposely leaving out Henry until I know why they've approached. "Nice to meet you. Can I help you with something?"

Hig scrapes a hand over his face before a rueful smile takes the place of the frown. "Honestly, I just wanted to size you up. Aksel has said nice things, which had me worried. I needed to see for myself who's caught Rae's eye. She's an amazing lady, and we all feel a bit protective of her."

I tip my head to the side, feeling a little protective myself. Something doesn't sit right with me about this guy. Maybe it's the good ol' boy in me that just doesn't trust anyone who wears Gucci. Maybe it's the way his eyes lit up when he called Rae amazing. "Oh, yeah? Then how come you let her ex-husband walk around town saying things about her that aren't true?"

Hig's eyebrows rise and he nods slowly. "I can see what Aksel means." He claps me on the shoulder. "And no one listens to that as—arsehole, Gavin." His gaze flicks to Henry and then back to me. "Sorry."

An idea hits me out of the blue. I turn to Hoss, a big guy with tattoos all down his arms and a barrel chest. "You got room in your calendar to build a cement wall sometime in the spring?"

Hoss nods. "Sure do. Whatcha have in mind?"

I explain to him what I want done and he agrees to call me tomorrow once he's looked at his calendar of projects. Hig folds his arms across his chest, blocking the waitress's approach.

"You know, we have some walls at the lodge that could use some sprucing up." He nods. "I think I might have a call to make. You know, supporting our small-town residents and all."

A grin hits my face, seeing that Hig's on the same page as me. It makes me feel good to know that the town will watch after Rae even after I'm gone. "You're all right, Hig Lindley."

"Right back atcha." Hig holds out his hand and we shake again, on much friendlier terms this time.

They leave the diner, waving goodbye to practically every table as they go. Our server is finally able to get to us and we place identical orders: cheeseburger, fries, and a chocolate shake. There's no way Henry can eat all that, but I plan to help him out. I'll have to add more running into my schedule once the holidays are over, but for now, I can indulge all I want.

Henry, his mouth full of french fries, says something that stops my heart in its tracks. "Maybe Hig can marry Rae-Rae."

I nearly choke on my shake. "What's that now?" I put the glass down, certain I heard him wrong.

He shrugs and dips another fry in his shake. "If Santa can't give me the pwesent I asked for, maybe Hig can take care of Rae-Rae. Like a daddy."

That's not helping my choking problem. Thinking of Rae calling Hig daddy is enough to turn my stomach. Suddenly my lunch looks disgusting and I have a powerful need to get back to Rae's house so I can make sure Hig doesn't randomly stop by and spread his holiday cheer. As I raise my hand for the server to bring us a to-go box, I realize I'm seeing green. I'm fucking jealous of any man who could take my spot in Rae's bed. In her life. Any man would be damn lucky if she chose him to be by her side.

I'd be damn lucky.

"Daddy?"

I realize with a start I've been staring off into space. Henry's done eating and the to-go box is by my elbow, the check underneath. I scoop our food in the box and slide a hundred-dollar bill on top of the check.

"Let's go show Rae our presents!"

Henry crinkles his nose. "It's not Chwistmas!"

By the time we get home, I've convinced him it's okay to give presents three days before Christmas. Just a few. He and I barrel into the house, calling for Rae and spreading our shopping bags all over the living room floor. She doesn't answer, and after a quick search, we find the house empty. Henry looks like he could cry.

And I might just join him.

Instead, I crouch down and grab his attention. "Okay, buddy. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to work to put up all these presents before Rae gets home. We'll surprise her. Sound good?"

Henry sniffles, but nods his head. We dump out all the shopping bags and get to work. An hour later, Rae calls from the front door.

"Hello? I'm home!"

Henry and I drop the box of lights we were reading the instructions from and race to greet her. Henry gets there first, hugging her legs while I go for a kiss. She looks good enough to eat with windswept hair and pink cheeks from being out in the cold. Her hair has more of those tiny braids in it and she's back to wearing Christmas-themed earrings.

"This is quite the welcoming committee!" she giggles, kissing me back and then rubbing her hand over Henry's back as he continues to hug her legs. "Did you miss me that badly?"

"Come see!" Henry suddenly lets go only to tug her hand toward the hallway. Rae drops her oversized purse on the floor and lets him lead her through her house. Her mouth drops open as she spots the lights strung on the Christmas tree, but Henry keeps pulling her toward the guest room.

As I follow, the answer, hell, yes, we missed you that badly rings in my head. Crazy enough, I did miss her. Only a few hours apart and I want to know everything she did while we were gone. I want to tell her about the people I met in town and what I thought of the giant tooth outside the dental office with Christmas lights strung around it.

"Oh, Henry!" Rae gasps.

I hurry around the doorway to see her turning in a circle, taking in all her paintings on the wall. Henry's jumping up and down, unable to contain his excitement.

"We didn't think your paintings should be in a closet, tucked away where no one can see them. We picked up some drywall hangers in town. Hope you don't mind."

Rae spins toward me, eyes looking glassy, this time with happiness. "I love it. Thank you." She puts her hand in the middle of my chest and kisses me. Henry barrels into us and I have to break away from her to keep from toppling over. Rae laughs and swings him up into her arms.

"We have one more surprise." I put my hand on Rae's lower back and steer our group to the fireplace where our stockings hang from metal hooks that spell out P-E-A-C-E on her mantel. She gasps again and steps closer to run her fingers over the personalized embroidery.

"Oh my goodness." She puts a hand to her mouth. "You boys are spoiling me."

Henry goes tearing through the house to find the wreath we bought but hadn't had time to put on the front door yet. I take the temporary quiet to pull her into my arms and kiss the top of her head.

"I like spoiling you," I confess, feeling like she fits perfectly in my arms.

She pulls back just enough to smile up at me and it hits me that I could do this every year with her. Every day .

I could love this woman. As Henry crashes into us again, and she doesn't show a flicker of irritation at the interruption, I realize I already do.

But what can I possibly do about it? My life is in Nashville. My son is in Los Angeles. My family is in Texas. My job is on the road. I'd do just about anything for Rae. Except move my whole life to Idaho. How could I when my son and my career have to be my priorities? She deserves to be someone's everything. To be at the very top of the priority list. As she pulls away from me and helps Henry put the wreath on the front door, both of them standing back to admire it, I realize I have a decision to make.

Do I want to keep doing what I've always done and feel like I have nothing? Or do I want to make a sharp right turn and go for everything that's eluded me in my quest for fame and fortune?