Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

H utton

The house is quiet, except for the brush of the paper snowflakes against the tree branches each time the heater kicks on. I'm not sure what time it is, but time doesn't matter when inspiration hits. Don't even know what woke me, but the loudest melody floated through my brain and I couldn't get it out. I know from past experience it's better to get up and work with inspiration instead of try to sleep through it. My first number one hit came from a sleepless night when the muse wouldn't let me go.

I made sure Henry's and Rae's doors were closed before I grabbed my guitar and picked out the tune in my head. Pretty soon I grabbed some paper off the table and began scribbling down lyrics that had my heart pounding. This is what I love best about my career. The creation. The feeling of your heart and soul and something outside of one's self conspiring to make music. It lights me up in a way touring just can't, not even with thousands chanting my name or singing along to my songs. This right here is just for me.

When a fully formed song stares back at me from the piece of paper, I play it through one more time, loving it even more than the last two albums I put together. I place the guitar on the ground next to me and rest against the couch. My eyes feel like they have sand in them, but I'm wide awake and practically giddy. This is the first full song I've written all on my own in years.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out what's awakened the creative side of me again. I could lie and say it's the regular sex. Or the downtime. Or the different setting. But I know that's all bullshit. I have a sinking feeling that it's just Rae. A blonde nanny with tattoos, a heart of gold, and a hidden artistic talent she doesn't yet share with the world.

I scrub a hand over my face and wonder, not for the first time since I've been in Snowhaven, just what the hell I'm doing here. Mama is going to give me an earful for ditching her and Dad for the holidays. Holly will either give me the silent treatment or blow up my phone with hate mail for not letting her have Henry like she wanted. Any rational man would want the silent route, but that also means she'll restrict my access to Henry, which is worse than the vitriolic voicemails.

Growing up, I always assumed I'd get married, have a family, and grow old with my wife by my side. Holly disabused me of that notion real quick. Ever since then, I've lost hope in finding someone compatible to my lifestyle. And yet, for the first time ever, I find myself wanting a woman badly enough to question my lifestyle. If Rae can't wrap her life around my career, maybe now is the time to alter my career.

I glance down at the sheet of music and feel conflicted. I still love making music, but I've also loved these last two weeks with Rae.

"Hey," a soft voice comes from the hallway.

Rae leans against the wall, my T-shirt coming down to the middle of her thighs. She created some braids in her hair this morning that start off close to the side of her head and streak down her back. She looks like a Viking warrior woman. A very sexy Viking all sleepy and soft as she looks at me.

"Sorry. Did I wake you?" I stand and stretch, letting the blood flow back into my legs.

"No. I turned over and got worried when I saw you weren't there."

I leave the guitar and music and make my way over to her, sliding my fingers up her bare thigh. "Did you miss me?"

Her smile hitches when my fingers dip under the shirt and between her legs. Her eyes flutter closed and I imagine a thousand more nights spent with this woman. Not just for the sex. For the way she worries about me. The way she cares for my son. The fierceness that radiates from her when I know she's softer than a marshmallow under all that bluster.

"Already wet for me, sugar?" I stroke her, loving the little noises that come from her throat. I pull my fingers from under the shirt and turn her around. "Get in that bed and take my shirt off. I have things I need to do to you."

She scampers away with a sultry smile over her shoulder. I follow, careful to shut and lock the bedroom door behind me. She's naked and waiting for me when I crawl under the covers. A man could get used to this. I curl up against her backside and lift her leg to sink into her heat. We both groan at the perfection of our bodies fitted together. My thrusts are lazy and half asleep, but it doesn't take much to have us both tipping over the edge and falling back asleep in each other's arms. My dreams transport me to a place where every day looks like this, a steady stream of Rae and Henry and the three of us making a life together.

The next morning, I make a suggestion over breakfast that has them both cheering. One of the parents at the Santa meet and greet last night talked about a place nearby that has become the unofficial Snowhaven sledding hill. Considering I couldn't remember the last time I went sledding, and I was sure Henry had never been, I felt like it was time to remedy that.

"I don't have any sleds though," Rae says.

I clap my hands and clear all the plates, taking them to the sink and leaving them there. "I'm sure they sell them in town, right?" I look over at my son, surprisingly energetic given the few hours of sleep I've gotten. "Henry! Go get dressed, son!"

Henry launches off his chair and runs to his room where I'm sure he'll put on an outfit that doesn't match but will make him look absolutely adorable. Rae goes to get dressed too and I watch her out of the corner of my eye as I get dressed in jeans, a long-sleeve shirt, sweatshirt, and coat.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Rae Dunn."

Her head snaps up as she buttons her dark jeans. "Well, thank you. What's gotten into you?"

I shrug and lightly swat her ass as I move past her to the doorway. "Nothing. Just thought you should hear it." I shoot her a wink and head over to Henry's room to help him with his jacket. As I suspected, he's got green camo pants on with a purple shirt, but it doesn't matter. This isn't Los Angeles, and I'm not his mother.

We head out, bundled up and ready for some fun before we have to get to the theater for practice later today. Rae directs me to a convenience store in town where I buy two sleds from a guy who asks to get a selfie with me. I oblige and he shouts after me, "Can't wait to see The Nutcracker !" I give him a thumbs up and store the sleds in the back of my truck.

I climb into the vehicle and relax as the heater takes the chill from my bones. "Looks like everyone knows I've been at practice."

"Told you the rumor would spread fast. Don't worry, they won't be spreading it beyond Snowhaven." Rae reaches over and we hold hands as I drive us out to the hill just outside of the town limits. A few cars are already parked off to the side of the road and little blobs of people whiz down the hillside.

"Dang, that's steeper than I thought it would be."

Rae squeezes my hand and then lets go. "There're two hills. One for advanced, and one for beginners. I say we stick to the beginner."

We climb out and get the sleds out of the back. I look at three of us and two sleds. One sled is a two-seater and the other is a disk for one person. "Do you mind if I take Henry down on this one with me? You okay on your own?"

"Of course! I've sledded these hills for years." Rae takes the disk from my hands and leads the way. Henry gets tired halfway there, traipsing through the snow. I pick him up in one arm and the sled dangling from the other, grateful for the exercise since I've been relatively sedentary since coming to Snowhaven.

Rae gets settled on her disk at the top of the beginner hill and waits for Henry and me to get on our sled. "Okay, buddy, just keep your hands and feet in the sled." Henry nods but isn't talking, a sure sign he's nervous. "I got you, buddy."

"On three, we'll do it together," Rae says, counting down and giving my son a confident smile. We push off on three and only get a little bit of speed going before the hill evens out and we glide to a stop.

Henry jumps off the sled, his fist in the air. "Wet's do it again!"

We trudge back up and go down three more times before Henry asks to go by himself. Other families are starting to fill up the hill and I've seen quite a few kids Henry's age go down the beginner hill by themselves. Rae hands him the disk and I make sure he's situated before I climb on the back of the sled and pat the front for Rae.

"Don't take liberties, now," she murmurs, sitting between my legs and leaning back against my chest.

I nuzzle into the back of her neck, wishing I could. "Is naked sledding a thing around here?"

Her laughter rings out as we push off, all three of us flying down the hill together. Henry does just fine. He even goes back up the hill on his own and comes back down, cheeks red and eyes wide with fun.

"Can we do the udder one?" he asks, pointing his little finger at the advanced hill.

"Sure, buddy. But you have to go on the big sled with me. You good with that?"

Henry nods and we move in the direction of the other hill, darting around families and kids, everyone with a smile on their faces. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun either. Reaching over, I grasp Rae's hand that's stuffed into a bright red mitten. She looks over in surprise, but lets me hold her. I think about those dreams I was having last night and add another vision: the three of us at the holidays, making sledding a yearly tradition.

We make it to the top of the advanced hill, but have to wait a few minutes to let others go first. Rae climbs onto the disk and I get a good grip on Henry on the big sled. We stare down at the bottom of the hill, and I realize it's a lot further down than the beginner hill. Rae does the countdown and we push off on three. The freezing cold air whips our faces and makes my eyes water as we gain speed. Henry lets out a squeal and I lose my stomach somewhere along the way. I even have to dig my heels in to slow this thing down at the bottom or we'd end up hitting one of the cars on the side of the road before it stopped.

Henry's exhilarated, standing up and dancing around. "Again, Daddy!"

Rae, more than a few feet away, climbs off the sled and brushes the snow off her legs. "I'm freezing, y'all. I'm going to buy some hot chocolate and let you boys take the next round." She points over at the food truck parked in front of the line of cars.

I come over and drop a quick kiss on her lips, happy to see her pink cheeks take on a deeper hue. "See you in a few minutes, sugar."

Henry helps me carry the sled to the top of the hill, making it more difficult, but I appreciate that he wants to help. We have to wait for another family to get on their sleds and push off. The kids argue who should get on what sled, so it takes awhile. I let my gaze roam to the food truck, looking for Rae in her suede jacket. I find her, but I also find a familiar couple talking to her, cutting off her access to the food truck. My eyes narrow, and suddenly I need down this damn hill. Now.

"Daddy!" Henry's voice interrupts my spiraling thoughts about Rae's jackass ex trying to talk to her again.

I quickly get on the sled and he climbs on after me. I don't bother with the countdown, just push us off and race down the hill. Henry, oblivious to his dad battling anger quickly turning to rage, hollers his excitement. I brake earlier than I should, but need off this sled so I can go rescue Rae. Those assholes are probably talking down to her again. I climb off the sled the second it stops, pulling Henry up with me. I turn to march off to the food truck when I run into someone.

"Sorry, I?—"

"Oh hey! Hutton Calder! Can you take a selfie with me and my daughter real quick? We're such big fans." A woman smiles at me, holding out her cell phone. Her preteen daughter grins up at me with a mouth full of braces. I can't say no or be rude.

I nod and get into position, my smile tight. I make sure Henry's out of the picture, and offer a weak, "Have a great day, ladies," before grabbing his hand and practically running to the food truck.

Rae is standing with a cup of hot chocolate in her hand, her ex nowhere to be found. She smiles as we approach, but I see that her hand is shaking. I put my hand on her waist and block out the hills behind me.

"Everything okay?"

Rae's smile just gets bigger, but her eyes fill with a sheen that spells trouble.

"I'm fine."

Inwardly, I groan. She's far from fine, and now I want to punch something. Preferably her ex's smug face.