Chapter Eleven

West

I stopped with my hand on my front doorknob. A rush of doubt and nervousness slid down my body and suddenly, I was rethinking every choice.

My outfit.

My shoes.

Hell, even my haircut. I’d gotten one this morning. The barber said it made me look younger, but I felt like a walking mousse commercial.

A text came through. Alex asking me if I’d left the house yet. I called him instead of texting back. His voice would give me the push I needed to see this through.

As much as I was nervous about the club and actually participating in Alex’s preference, I was equally excited and intrigued.

“I should’ve come to get you,” he answered instead of a hello.

“I’m getting into the Uber now. You had work to do. Hear that?” I shut the door of the car and greeted the driver.

Alex made a noise deep in his throat. “I’m eager to see you. I’ll meet you at the front desk.”

I hung up and focused on breathing in and out for the ride to Cuffed. When I arrived, the man at the front door greeted me by name.

Interesting.

Once I saw Alex, a surge of joy threatened to make me lightheaded. I reached out to grab the desk, but he came over and wrapped his arms around me. “I’m really happy to see you too, West. Let’s get you cuffed.”

They gave me a leather bracelet and put it on my right hand after checking my ID to the chagrin of Alex.

“How about we get a drink and talk first. You’re looking paler by the second.” Alex led me to the bar with a hand on the small of my back. The music was loud, but I would swear my heartbeat was even louder. “What do you want?”

I leaned in to him. “I can’t even think straight.”

Alex tugged me against his body. “How about something sweet, like you?”

His nearness gave me instant calm. “Sounds good.”

He ordered me a dirty horchata but for himself nothing.

“Why aren’t you drinking?” I asked.

“I already had a glass before you got here. I’m nervous about what you might think of me and the things I want to show you tonight. Never been so damned nervous.”

Leaning up on my toes, I kissed his chin and then his lips. “I won’t judge you if you don’t judge me.”

One of his hands snaked around my waist and brushed my ass. “I would never. Do you want to go sit down and talk, or would you like a tour?”

“Let’s talk a bit first,” I offered. The bass of the music was beginning to soothe me. We picked a booth shrouded in darkness. It gave us a bit of privacy.

“How did my accounting setup work for you? Any issues?” Alex’s thighs pressed against mine as he faced me.

“No issues at all. I got the first notification on my phone this morning that a bill was coming up. You really helped me. Thank you.”

His dark eyes roamed my face as he smiled. “Anything for you. Tell me more about you. I find myself wanting to know everything. Your favorite color. Music. Hobbies. Interests. Last night, I was scrolling on Netflix and wondered what you would like to watch if you were next to me.”

“Oh. I like crime documentaries, and I watch a lot of movies over and over.”

Alex’s eyebrows bunched. “Because you like them?”

I shrugged one shoulder and took a sip of my cinnamon-laced drink, savoring the heady sweetness. There was almost no alcohol in it, which suited me for the moment. “It’s because I know how they end. No surprises. My psychiatrist says it’s due to anxiety. I don’t have to predict the ending or wonder if I’ll enjoy the movie.”

Alex threaded his fingers through mine. “Have you always had anxiety?”

My hand tingled. “Some.”

“After Emile’s death,” he said.

I took another sip but now it was too sweet. “It’s hard to talk about. There was a lot during our mating and then after, well, a different kind.”

“Did he hurt you?” Alex’s warm, whiskey breath fanned over my skin, raising goose bumps. “Please tell me my friend didn’t hurt you.”

“Not physically. I can’t do this.” I moved to get out of the booth, out of the club, out of this afterlife, but Alex drew me back in and pulled me onto his lap facing him. “Don’t run from me, omega. You are safe. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to. I’d love to know everything about you, but I’ll only take what you give me. Nothing more.”

Our wolves reached out to each other through the bond we’d created a few nights ago in his office. The tether was thin and fragile, but our animals were connected.

“I’m so torn,” I said, holding onto Alex’s shoulders for dear life.

“I know. I’m sorry. I can take you home if you like. I pushed too hard.”

“No.” I pulled back. “You never push too hard. I want this. I’m so damned scared, but I want to have a life again and you’re a part of that. I want to explore this with you but please know that a slice of me is still mated to Emile. I’ve tried to make my feeling and my mind agree that he’s gone, but I’m struggling.”

Alex held me tighter. For a few seconds, I forgot we were in a sex club and not in our own bubble. “Tell me what you want to do tonight and we’ll do that. You’re in charge.”

I laughed. “I think you’re in charge.”

He shook his head. “No. This lifestyle is give-and-take, omega. I don’t do anything you don’t give me permission to do. You’re in charge. I’m in control, but you’re giving me your submission. It’s empowering if you experience this life with someone you trust.”

“I trust you,” I said.

“Thank you. Now, have you thought of your safe word?”