TWENTY FIVE

LEO

A car door slamming abruptly tore me from sleep. Half tripping as I pulled on some sweatpants, I opened my blinds. The morning light made me hiss like a vampire. I’d consumed far too much booze to be facing the sunlight.

Down below, Graham hugged Grace, my dad placing their bags in the trunk.

No .

Estella hugged my dad, and I tore from my room, throwing myself down the stairs two at a time. The splintered panelling half way up the staircase made me wince as I passed. Lord knew how I’d explain that to Grace.

The front door stood open, the cold January air making the hair on my arms raise as I neared it.

Grace fussed over Estella, adjusting the way her hair lay on her shoulders. They looked like a picture perfect little family. The strapping soon-to-be son-in-law. The happy parents. And the perfect daughter.

I’d never fit.

Graham got into the car, starting the engine and waiting for the windscreen to clear of the thin layer of ice.

I stood on the threshold, the gravelled drive twinkling in the morning light. Estella looked at me, both of us caught in a moment of our own. Locked in a slight hope.

All I had to do was to step outside.

It’d be no different than a single step inside. Just one step.

My pulse quickened as I gripped the doorframe, closing my eyes and lifting a foot. Sweat gathered along my collar.

The world lurched, making me wobble. My vision darkened, flickering with each stuttering breath.

My chest gripped like a vice, my heart slowing until I stumbled backward, back into safety.

Estella bit her lower lip, then turned away from me, dipping into the car next to her fiancé.

Dizzy, I pressed my hands to my face, dropping to my knees in the entryway.

Grace and my father, came in a few moments later, the car crunching away outside.

‘C’mon,’ Dad said, extending his hand and helping me to my feet. ‘It would’ve been nice to see you out there saying goodbye, but there’s always next time. ’

The world still quaked as I waited for my pulse to return to normal.

You’re an idiot. It’ll never be normal again.