Chapter Twenty-One

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

When I woke, it was late. Or early, I couldn’t be sure. There was a strong smell of coffee and bacon and something sweet, like maple syrup. I creaked one eye open first, then the next, looking around a little confused.

I was in Theo’s suite.

It all came back to me then, as I took in the view of his bookshelf, his albums, the geometric design of the tables in the sitting area. There was a tray of food on said tables, and the sun was just barely peeking through where the curtains had been drawn back.

My heart thumped hard in my chest, first in excitement and then in discomfort. The memory of what had happened surfaced like oil in salt water, slick and unwelcome. But before I could digest it too much, a warm hand wrapped around my hip from behind.

“Good morning,” Theo said.

I jumped a little at the touch, which made him chuckle before he pressed a gentle kiss to my cheek, his lips soft and warm. I leaned into the gesture with a relieved sigh.

“So it was all real.”

“Did you think it was a dream?”

I laughed a little, turning to face him as I ran a hand back through my tangled hair. “I feel like this whole summer has been a dream.”

I smiled lazily at the sight of him beside me, propped up on one elbow, his hand on my hip and the soft light filtering in through the windows playing with the grays and blues in his eyes.

“What time is it?”

“A little after six.”

“I slept all day?”

Theo chuckled. “And all night, too.”

I balked. “It’s six in the morning ?”

With that thought, I realized how bad my breath was, and how I hadn’t brushed my teeth or hair or done anything to myself since I left Theo’s room more than twenty-four hours ago now.

I covered my face. “Oh, gosh. Don’t look at me. I bet I look terrible right now.”

Theo peeled my fingers back from my face, kissing my nose before his eyes settled on mine. “You look beautiful.”

I flushed, shaking my head and trying to melt into the sheets. Theo just watched me squirm under his gaze, drawing little circles on my hip. “Hungry?”

My stomach growled in response, and Theo let out a breathy laugh through his nose, hopping out of bed long enough to bring the food tray over. He set it between us, then poured us each a cup of coffee from the carafe on the table and handed me that first.

I inhaled the rich, chocolatey scent, leaning back against the headboard. “Thank you. I feel like a princess.”

Theo smiled. “We’re almost to San Marco, should be anchoring soon. I was thinking we could go to shore.” He paused long enough to take a big bite out of a piece of bacon. “I’d like to take you shopping.”

I giggled, grabbing a piece of bacon for myself. I pointed it at him before taking a bite. “I feel like that’s more fun for you than for me.”

“Humor me,” he said on a shrug. “Besides, San Marco is beautiful. Lots of photo opportunities. And… I thought maybe…” He paused, rolling over in the giant bed until he could reach the bedside table. He opened the drawer and faced me again with a box in his hand. “You could use this.”

I took a sip of my coffee before setting it aside, taking the box from Theo’s hands. It was a simple but heavy white box wrapped with a navy blue ribbon. When I opened it, I nearly had a heart attack from shock.

“Theo…” I whispered, just staring at the beautiful camera inside the box. I was too afraid to touch it, because I knew just by the model number on top that it cost more than four times what I’d paid for the camera I already had.

“I know it’s probably going to take some getting used to,” he said hurriedly, pulling the Sony a7 IV from the box since I was too afraid to touch it. He turned it on, placing it in my shaking hands. “And I think it’s more of a landscape-focused camera, but I read that it’s stunning for street photography once you figure out the settings. Oh, I got a few lenses for it, too, and the best memory card I could find.” He frowned as he watched me tilt the camera in my hands. “Do you like it? If not, I can send it back, it’s okay if it’s not the—”

“Theo, it has sixty-one megapixels and a Bionz X image processor,” I said, as if that should have been answer enough to the question. “I don’t like it. I love it. I am floored by it. I am… dazzled by it. I am scared of it,” I added with a laugh, letting the machine rest in my lap as my eyes found his. “And I am completely blown away that you got this for me.”

Theo smirked. “Well, I know you’ll do brilliant things with it.”

He leaned in to kiss me before I could blush properly, and I abandoned the camera altogether, wrapping my arms around his neck and holding him to me.

Once again I found it felt like a dream having Theo in my grasp. It was both foreign and the most natural thing I’d ever done, to have my lips pressed to his, to have his body flush against my own.

Something niggled at my gut, like a warning or a reminder, but it was so faint I ignored it in favor of the sensations that flooded me when Theo kissed me the way he did.

He groaned when my tongue swept inside his mouth, hot and eager, and I arched into the touch as a humming vibration spiraled down my spine.

“Eat breakfast and then get dressed,” Theo said, breaking the kiss with a stiff inhale. “Before I keep you in this room all day, instead.”

My thighs clenched. “That doesn’t sound so bad…”

Theo thumbed my jaw with a knowing smile. “Don’t worry, Aspen,” he whispered. “There will be plenty of time for me to fuck you properly.”

Another zing ripped through my stomach, and I held my breath, closing my eyes at the feel of his warm thumb against my skin.

“But for now, let me spoil you,” he said, popping my butt as he hopped out of bed. “After the last forty-eight hours you’ve had, you deserve it. Eat. Get dressed. Meet me downstairs.” He paused at the door, nodding to the closet at the far end of the suite. “Emma unpacked your bag for you. I hope you don’t mind.”

Then he left me, and I gaped at the camera next to me, at the luxurious bed I was in, at the vast and stunning room and the equally impressive view out the windows.

What is even happening right now?

How is this real life?

I closed my eyes on a squeal, allowing myself sixty seconds to flop around in the bed in a fit of giggles before I sat up, still breathing hard, still shaking my head in disbelief.

Then, I scarfed down some food, quickly got dressed, and ran downstairs with my new camera in tow.

***

Theo was right — San Marco di Castellabate was stunning.

With its golden beaches, turquoise water, and sea cliffs that seemed to extend up into the heavens themselves, I found myself lost in wonder as we made our way through the little villages that made up the area they called San Marco. I toyed with the settings on my new camera, completely wrapped up in the experimentation of getting to know it. Theo had outdone himself with the various lenses he’d paired with the gift — each of which I knew cost over a thousand dollars — and never in my life had I held so much expensive, elegant camera equipment in my backpack.

I felt like a little kid again, wide-eyed and all smiles as we weaved through the sights.

And when my hand wasn’t on my camera, it was in Theo’s grasp.

We held hands in public like it was a completely normal thing. He would even pull me into his side from time to time, pressing a sweet kiss in my hair.

We were walking inside a small boutique when he pulled me into the corner of the shop, kissing me breathless until I pressed against his chest with a furious blush, looking to make sure the shop owner hadn’t seen us.

And suddenly, that little feeling that had tugged at the corners of my heart earlier that morning was back.

“I’d like to jump inside that head of yours,” Theo mused, brushing my hair back from my face as his eyes searched mine.

“Not a whole lot going on at the moment.”

He laughed. “I think that’s a lie.” His arms wrapped fully around my waist, and he leaned against the shelf behind him, settling in. “Talk to me.”

I blew out a breath, looking around at all the luxurious clothing that surrounded us. Just like in Positano, I knew without looking that every item in here was well out of my budget, but nothing more than pocket change to Theo. When I brought my gaze back to his, I struggled to find the right words to explain what I was feeling.

“Everything happened so… suddenly,” I started. “But then again, I feel like it’s been happening for years, like I’ve been staring at a tree and watching it grow from a seedling to a giant oak.”

Theo didn’t interrupt. He just nodded, letting me know he was following.

“I just…” I swallowed. “I feel… guilty. I feel wrong.”

At that, Theo’s brows tugged together, and he tightened his grip on my waist. “What on Earth do you have to feel guilty about?”

I gave him a look. “Come on, you know the answer to that as much as I do. You and I… the other night… before everything went down with Joel.” I swallowed, uncomfortable even saying his name. “I shouldn’t have let myself get so close to you,” I said softer, and this time, my eyes locked on his. “And yet I couldn’t stay away.”

Theo inhaled a long, steady breath before he let it go. “I know the feeling well.” He paused. “Is this… am I doing too much, too quickly? Do you want me to back off?”

“No,” I said immediately, before I could even really digest the question. It was like my body and heart and soul answered for me before I could say something stupid. I clung to him more, gripping his shirt in my fists. “That’s the last thing I want.” I shook my head, staring at my hands on his chest. “Does that make me the worst human being to ever live?”

“What?” Theo shook his head on a laugh. “No. It makes you honest.”

I swallowed, still staring at my hands, still feeling the guilt raging inside me. “It’s just, I was just in a relationship with Joel, for years , and now he’s God knows where… and I…”

I stopped again before I could say the awful words swimming in my gut.

And I don’t even care that he’s gone.

“Hey,” Theo said, tilting my chin until I looked at him. “Let me ask you this — during this trip, the last few months… hell, even before this trip… were you really with Joel?”

I frowned, tilting my head in confusion.

“How long has it been since he took you on a date? Or since you two had a nice evening alone together? Or even a real conversation, for that matter? When is the last time he made you laugh, or feel safe, or loved?”

My stomach tightened more with every question he asked, because I couldn’t tell him a single answer.

“Aspen, it is okay to be happy,” he said, lowering his head to meet my gaze when I tried to tear it away. “I think maybe you’ve forgotten that, or surrendered it in the name of putting others around you first, or minimizing yourself so as to not be someone else’s problem. But trust me when I say it is a privilege to be around you, to soak up the sun you provide,” he said with a smile. “And unlike him, I will cherish every moment that I have you.”

I bit back a smile, hating that my eyes were once again glossing with tears. I had been more emotional in the past month than I had my entire life.

“You don’t have to defend your happiness — ever. Not to him, not to your friends or family or strangers, certainly not to me. And not to yourself, either, okay?” He leaned in closer, sliding his hands up to frame my face. “You are not only allowed to be happy, you should be happy. And I hope to be a part of what makes you that way.”

I shook my head, mostly in disbelief that a man like Theo Whitman would say such beautiful things to me. “And what about you,” I asked, peeling his hands off my face and kissing each palm before I wrapped my fingers around his. “What would make you happy?”

He looked around behind me for a moment, frowning until something caught his eye. Then, he lit up, smiling at the sight and then down at me. He kissed my knuckles, walking past me to grab something off the wall. He held it out of my view until he turned to face me again, and when he did, his smile was grand.

“Seeing you in this,” he said simply.

I gaped at the floor-length golden dress in his hand, the whole of it salted with crystals that glimmered in the boutique light. It had thin, delicate straps and a deep V-neck, the top a deep gold where the chiffon skirt was more of a cream. It sparkled with every slight move as Theo moved toward me, holding it gently over one arm as he held the hanger in the opposite hand.

I reached out to touch the fabric with my mouth still hanging open. It was like something straight out of a Disney movie, or something a member of the Royal Family might wear to a ball, or perhaps more like a celebrity attending the Met Gala.

The more my fingers explored, the more I discovered just how lush and rich the fabric was, how heavy the crystals were against the thin overlay, how high the slit was up the left side, how exposed my back would be, how the V would dip so deep it would reveal the string of freckles above my navel, the ones that lined my chest between my breasts.

“It’s… stunning, Theo,” I whispered, still shaking my head and touching each inch of the dress. “But I have nothing to wear this to.”

“Wear it for me,” he said. “Tonight.”