24. Ian

Chapter 24

Ian

I carried Hazel back to my apartment because she was too weak to walk. I set her on my bed and laid down with her as she cried. I considered getting her a cup of something warm, but I didn’t want to leave her alone.

She gripped my shirt tightly and cried until all that was left were small whimpers. I kissed her forehead and rubbed her back throughout. It broke my heart to see her like this. She may have been gripping my shirt, but it really felt like she was gripping my heart.

I’d never seen her so… broken. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever seen her cry before. Surely, she did, but she’d never done it in front of me. Because of that, I’d always seen her as too strong which I suppose was what she was aiming for.

Hazel never wanted to seem weak in front of me. But even now, I didn’t see her as weak. I could still see strength in the way she squared her shoulder and released a deep breath. I could tell she was determined to fix things with Jade and there was strength in that.

While my sister was, for the most part, a bundle of sunshine, she’d never taken kindly to betrayal. I could still remember the day I ate all the oatmeal cookies our mom made, leaving Jade with an empty cookie jar. It was the ultimate betrayal back then, and she ended up not speaking to me for three weeks. If there was one thing Jade could do, it was hold a grudge.

Still, I expected her to be more lenient with her best friend. She likely reacted that way because she was shocked, but I was certain she’d forgive Hazel soon.

I kissed Hazel’s forehead again when her tears died down completely. Her slowed breathing told me she’d fallen asleep. I stayed with her even though she wouldn’t know I was there, and it made me realize that I was here because I wanted to be here. I wanted to hold her.

It also made me realize that I was beginning to feel a lot more for Hazel than I ever had before. I felt utterly devastated when I saw her crying. Her tears affected me in a way I didn’t expect, and it forced me to analyze my feelings for her. It was clear that this was more.

In a matter of days, Hazel had snuck into my heart and made room for herself there. Or maybe there was always room for her. Maybe all those years of carrying hatred meant there was already a space for her in my heart. Maybe I loved—

“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?” Hazel asked. Her question pulled me out of my thoughts and away from one terrifying discovery.

“I thought you were sleeping.”

She sighed against my chest. “I tried to.”

We fell silent for a while. I spoke first. “I’m certain she will.”

“How can you be certain?”

“Because I know how much Jade loves you. She won't give up your friendship over me. Hell, I think she’d rather give me up than give you up.”

Hazel chuckled lightly before it bloomed into a fit of laughter. She smiled up at me, mirth still gleaming in her eyes. “Thank you. Thank you for making me laugh. I didn’t think I could do that right now but you… Thank you.”

I lowered my head and kissed her. She kissed me back. We kissed until we were both out of breath. We pulled apart but her hand remained on the side of my face and her head rested on mine as we stared at each other. I turned slightly to kiss her right palm, and she smiled.

“I’ll talk to Jade,” I said, turning back to look at her.

“Really?”

“Yes, I’ll explain everything to her and I’m sure she will forgive you.”

“Thank you!”

Hazel decided to go home after that. She didn’t want to spend the night with me when Jade was still angry at her about our relationship. I walked her out of the building and stood in the driveway until her car was out of sight.

I was about to walk back into the building when I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I could feel someone watching me but when I turned around, there was no one there. I couldn’t see anyone, but I knew it was Fred.

Why was he stalking me? What did I have to do with Emily?

Maybe he knows we’re trying to uncover what he did to Emily, and he wants to stop me before that happens. That theory didn’t hold water because Fred visited my apartment long before I joined Hazel on this case.

So what did he want?

I had no way to answer that question, so I turned around and walked back into my apartment building. I had to think about what I was going to say to Jade when I saw her tomorrow. I hoped she would give me the chance to at least explain things instead of completely shutting me out like she usually did.

The next day, I left my apartment and drove straight to Jade’s yoga studio. I saw her car outside, so I knew she was there. I also knew her well enough to know that this was the place where she felt most relaxed.

I could tell from the other cars in the parking lot that she wasn’t the only one in the studio. My suspicions were confirmed when I walked into the studio and into a class full of yogis. Nine pairs of eyes turned to me when the door opened, one of them belonging to my sister.

While Jade looked away immediately, the other women stared. It was then that I remembered what Jade told me about her newest members. She mentioned that most of them were here because they learned that I was her brother. They’d probably been waiting for the day I would stop by.

The women stood up from their yoga mats and made their way over to me. “Ian Carter!” one of them exclaimed as she came up beside me.

I saw my sister roll her eyes in annoyance, but she didn’t look at me. I turned my attention back to the eight women surrounding me. They all sported dazzling white smiles. I smiled back. “Hi, ladies.”

“Hi Ian!” they chorused in unison.

“What brings you here?” the woman in the pink set asked, still smiling.

“I’m actually here to talk to my sister.”

We all turned to where Jade sat. She continued to act as if she hadn't seen me, busying herself with the yoga bolster and acting like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

“You see she’s a bit angry with me,” I said. “She won't even talk to me.”

“That’s too bad.”

They paused and then slowly, one by one, a mischievous smirk appeared on their lips. “I’m sure we can get her to talk to you,” one of them declared.

They walked over to Jade and sat in front of her, forming a circle. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I saw Jade's expression shift from indifference to mild shock and then finally to acceptance.

I had no idea what they told her but soon she was standing up and marching towards me. She sighed when she stood in front of me. “We’ll talk at Stacey’s bakery. I don’t want everyone here to overhear our conversation.”

She didn’t wait for me to respond. She simply walked out of the room. I lifted a hand and smiled at the women still seated at the front of the class. “Thanks, ladies.”

“Anytime, Ian.”

I walked out and met Jade standing beside my car. “Aren’t you going to lock up the studio?”

“Betty will do it,” she said before gesturing to the car. I unlocked it and she got in without uttering another word to me. She remained silent throughout the drive to the bakery.

I pulled into the driveway and she got out. We walked into the building together even though it felt like we were strangers. Jade wouldn’t even look at me. Stacey smiled when she saw us. “Hi guys!” she said, not picking up on the tension between my sister and me.

She turned to me. “Ian I’m so sorry about that whole photographer fiasco. I had no idea he was doing that.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Stacey. It wasn’t your fault.” She’d apologized to me more times than the actual perpetrator had, which was two to zero. “It’s in the past.”

Stacey nodded, took our order, and walked away. I looked at Jade and I saw she was staring out the window. I didn’t know if Hazel had already told her what happened with the photographer. She seemed confused when Stacey mentioned it so I assumed Hazel didn’t tell her.

Knowing Jade she was probably itching to know. She never could stand not knowing something.

“Hazel and I were here the other day, and this photographer was taking pictures of us. I caught him and threatened to break his camera, but he remained unapologetic. It caused a bit of a scene,” I said.

Jade snapped her head to me. “I didn’t ask.”

“I know you wanted to.”

She scoffed. “If you know me so well, then you should have also known that I wouldn’t be happy about your relationship with Hazel.”

I sighed. This wasn’t how I wanted us to segue into the matter at hand but at least we were finally discussing it. “Yes, I knew you wouldn’t be happy about it. In fact, a couple of weeks ago, I wouldn’t have been happy about it either.”

“So what changed?”

“I don’t know,” I said with a shrug. “It all happened so fast. One minute I hated her and the next I was in love with her.”

My words landed like an anvil on the table between us. I could feel myself falling in love with Hazel, but it was a different thing entirely to actually say it.

Was that really how I felt? Was I really in love with her? When did it happen? How did my feelings change from hate to love in a matter of days?

I ran a hand through my hair as I tried to make sense of my own confession. I could see my surprise and confusion mirrored on my sister’s face. We looked quite similar, so I was certain that in that moment we must have looked like twins. Both of us sporting looks of utter bewilderment.

I felt myself sinking deeper and deeper into my thoughts. I tried to analyze the last few days so I could figure out when exactly I’d fallen in love with Hazel. Maybe it was when we kissed for the first time. Maybe it was when she told me about Dorothy and how she’d gone out of her way to help the old woman. Maybe it was after we spent the night together.

Or maybe… maybe I’d always loved her. Maybe all that hate was just love, but I never realized it.

No, that’s not possible. I would have known.

“I didn’t know you felt that way about her,” Jade said, the look of shock remaining on her face as she spoke. She blinked and readjusted her features. “I had no idea that your relationship had grown so much. I promise I’ll try not to be too freaked out by all this. It’s just really weird, you know? I mean I always hated to see you two fight but seeing you together is really something else entirely. Again, I’ll do my best not to freak out.”

I wondered if I should tell her that I was more freaked out than she was. I was full-on panicking. When had things changed so much? When did my feelings for Hazel become this profound?

Sure, I’d had a profound dislike for the woman but now what I felt was profound love. Even now, all I wanted to do was go to her. I wanted to be with her, to hold her in my arms and never let her go.

I couldn’t tell her any of this though. It would just scare her. Hell, it scared me! I could only imagine how she would react.

I reached across the table and grabbed Jade’s hand. “Please don’t tell Hazel about the… the love part. I haven't told her that yet.”

“Of course.” Jade placed her other hand on my own. “I won't tell her. You should be the one to tell her that, not me.”

“Thank you.”

I stared at the table and sighed. There was a good chance I would never confess my feelings to Hazel. I was too worried about how she would react. I didn’t want to scare her off. We’d only just started, and I didn’t want to lose her.

But I knew that sooner or later, I would have to tell her.