20. Ian

Chapter 20

Ian

H azel was silent for a long time and so was I.

I’d said everything I needed to say. I felt an unusual lightness in my chest. I hadn't fully realized just how much of a burden it had been to carry all this hate around. Now that I’d gotten it off my chest, I felt lighter. The weight I’d been carrying was finally gone.

It felt good to tell Hazel about how her actions changed my life. But the feeling of fulfillment was slowly slipping away in the presence of her silence. Her silence made me incredibly uncomfortable.

She hadn't said a word since I’d unburdened myself. She simply stared ahead almost as if she couldn’t even see me. She looked lost in thought, so deep in a memory that it had transported her mind back in time.

I waited for her to say something, but the silence stretched out, adding to my discomfort. I considered saying something, but I truly had nothing else to say. I’d finally told her why I resented her and now that she knew, there was nothing left to say.

Hazel blinked and her gaze refocused. She looked at me and a small sad smile played on her lips. “I finally went to the geyser a few years ago,” she said.

My brows shut up. Of all the things I expected her to say, that was not one of them. We’d been taught about Cloverhill’s fifty-year-old geyser in high school but most of us skipped out on the field trip to see it. From what I remembered, it had been mostly dormant until fifty years ago. Why was Hazel bringing it up now?

She continued when I didn’t say anything. “I always complained about no one being interested in the town’s history which was a bit hypocritical of me since I’d never been to the town’s center of attraction. I didn’t want to be a hypocrite, so I went.”

“That was where I met Dorothy. She was this lovely old woman. Long gray hair, wrinkly smile, loved the color peach. We stood beside each other when the geyser went off and she told me how she’d been there the day it became active again. On that day, she met her husband, Peter. They were the only two at the geyser when the steam gushed out.”

I watched her as she spoke, something wistful in her tone.

“It was unexpected, and it made for the perfect meet cute.” Another sad smile spread across her lips. “Dorothy and Peter fell in love that day. They got married, and they spent fifty beautiful years together. Peter died a few weeks before I met Dorothy. She’d lost the love of her life but somehow, she still managed to smile at me and make me feel welcome. Peter was her soulmate, and his death devastated her but she said it also empowered her to want to tell their story.”

Hazel sighed. “I wanted to help her do that. I wanted to tell the story of Peter and Dorothy because I felt the world needed to hear their story and Dorothy needed to share it. She told me it was the last thing she needed to do before she joined him. And it was.”

“I promised Dorothy I would help her but when I spoke to my boss, Bradford, he wasn’t interested in the story. He said it wasn’t eye-catching enough. He said people wouldn’t want to read it and that I should focus on writing articles people would actually want to read. He wanted me to write an article about someone of note. He wanted me to write an article about you.”

I listened quietly as Hazel’s story came together. I didn’t want to interrupt her, so I waited until she was done.

She sighed again and pushed her curly hair out of her face. “He wanted me to write about Ian Carter, the high school hockey champion who had grown up to be a star and how he’d come from right here in Cloverhill. He thought it would be a hit.” Hazel let out a humorless laugh. “I guess in the end he was right.”

“I didn’t write that article to hurt you, Ian. I wrote it because I was desperate. I desperately wanted to give Dorothy the chance to share her story. I wanted to give her the chance to talk about the love of her life… so I made a deal with my boss. I’d write the article about you, and he would let me write about Dorothy. He didn’t agree at first, but I persuaded him. I begged him to let me write that story. Dorothy passed away shortly after. She said it was the last thing she wanted to do, and it was.”

Hazel sunk unto the chair in her living room. She stared at her hands for a long time before she looked at me again. “I’m truly sorry if that article hurt you, Ian. That wasn’t my intention. I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to help Dorothy. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I hurt you in the process. I’m so sorry.”

She looked at her hands again as silence fell between us. I spent that moment wrapping my head around everything she’d just told me. It was a lot to process. I understood her need to help Dorothy. I knew Hazel well enough to know that she would do anything to help a person in need. That much was evident with Emily.

I should have realized it earlier. I should have known that she wouldn’t go out of her way to hurt me. Hazel and I didn’t get along, but she wouldn’t do that. There were no malicious intentions behind the article, but I’d been so focused about its effect on my life that I didn’t stop to wonder if she meant to hurt me or not.

“You’re right,” Hazel said suddenly. Her words caught me off guard. “I am a malicious person. I go out of my way to hurt people, and I don’t care about the consequences.”

It physically hurt me to hear her say those words. The very words I’d used to describe her just a few hours ago. It was clear that I’d hurt her deeply because she still remembered what I said. I walked over to where she sat on the couch, and I kneeled in front of her.

I lifted her chin, and I saw she was crying. Hazel wiped her tears and chuckled dryly. “I wasn’t supposed to cry again.”

“I’m sorry for making you cry at all.”

“You shouldn’t be sorry. I should be. I’m the one who ruined your life.”

I shook my head. “You didn’t ruin my life.”

“Thanks to me, Cloverhill stopped being home for you. I’m sorry, Ian. I’m sorry about the effects the article has had on your life. You’re right about me. I didn’t think about the consequences of my actions. I didn’t think about how it would affect you. I’m sorry.” She lowered her head again.

I sighed as I stared at her curly hair. At that moment, I realized that I’d been harboring hate for no reason. I wiped Hazel’s tears and forced her to look at me again. “I’m sorry for what I said. You didn’t deserve that.”

I took the seat beside her and pulled her into my arms. Hazel rested her head on my shoulder while I held her close. My arm was around her waist and her hand was on my chest. We remained like that until she calmed down.

Her breathing slowed and for a moment, I thought she’d fallen asleep. I looked down to check on her and she looked up at the same time. Our eyes met, and I felt the same pull I felt a few days ago when we were standing outside Olivia’s house.

I could tell she felt it too because her breathing picked up. I lifted my hand and placed it on her cheek, caressing the smooth skin while she leaned into my hold. My gaze lowered to her lips. They were slightly parted, and I felt a deep desire to taste them again just like I had done that evening.

I would be lying if I said I’d been able to stop thinking about the kiss we shared. It still played over and over in my head even when I didn’t want it to, which was always. I was tired of thinking about the kiss, tired of replaying it in my head. I wanted to do it again. I wanted to claim her lips again.

I lifted my gaze to her eyes. Hazel must have seen the question in my eyes because she nodded her head. That was all I needed. I lowered my head and kissed her. She kissed me back. The kiss started slowly at first, as though we were both trying to understand this unfamiliar situation.

It wasn’t unfamiliar though. In fact, it felt strangely normal. It felt right.

I pulled her close to me as we kissed. My hand held her waist while my other hand touched her thigh.

For a second my mind paused as it tried to understand what was going on. I’d come here to talk to Hazel. I wanted to apologize to her because I knew I’d hurt her with my words. That much was evident with the way she’d rushed out of her parents’ house.

Dinner became strange after she left. It was as if somehow everyone knew it was my fault. Jade wouldn’t stop glaring at me and my mother had a suspicious look in her eyes. It didn’t take long before I caved and went after her.

But I didn’t come here just for them. I also came because I was worried about Hazel which was very unlike me. These days I’d been doing a lot of things that were very unlike me. From kissing Hazel to coming after her and now, I was kissing her again.

And it was clear things weren’t going to end at just kissing tonight.

That thought should have freaked me out, but it didn’t. Spending the night with Hazel was exactly what I wanted to do. I tried not to over analyze this new and overwhelming desire to be with her. There was no point thinking about it now.

Right now all I wanted to do was focus on her.

I squeezed her lap lightly, and she moaned against my lips. Her hands moved to my shirt where she slowly undid the buttons and splayed her fingers on my bare chest. I slipped my hand under her shirt, and I came in contact with bare smooth flesh.

I loved the feel of her skin. I loved the taste of her lips. In all my life, I never thought there would be a moment when I loved things about Hazel Jones.

Tonight was a surprise.