12. Chapter Twelve

“Look what the cat dragged in.” Josh, Jason, Marley, and even Nigel walked in. “Times four.” Josh wore a wide grin with a fist-sized bruise beside it. “Do I even want to know what happened?”

“Just my past come back to haunt me once again.” Jesus Christ, leaving him unattended was detrimental to his health.

“Do you still have a job?” They were all smiles. Huh, who knew Nigel had the facial muscles for that. This was the first time I’d seen him do it. So, it couldn’t be all bad, right?

“Even better. We have a contract.” At Josh’s words, the other three cheered and the entire place erupted in whistles and shouts.

I came around the bar so fast and smashed my lips to Josh’s with no fear of breaking teeth or who might see. “Oh my god, babe, that’s so fucking awesome!”

“You should’ve seen him, Reagan,” Jason began. “Surrounded by nearly everyone on the planet who hates him, and he stood his ground. Even told them he had a special someone he wasn’t gonna fuck things up with.”

Special someone.That was me.

Josh buzzed with excitement, and I was ridiculously happy for him. This was the break he needed, a positive in the right direction on the path to finding his sense of self-worth. Something he lost long ago, or now that I knew bits of his childhood, possibly something he never had. “Take a seat, guys, first round is on the house!”

“Shots!” Marley chimed. While I lined them up, Daniel and Holly congratulated them and took their food orders.

“Nice menu, business owner.” I’d added a few new items we started offering this past weekend.

“Yes, business is doing well.” I added a fifth shot for myself and doled them out. “All right, guys, congrats to Chaotic Abyss. You guys worked hard and more than deserve this. Cheers!” Every person in the bar, and while we weren’t packed to the gills there were still a couple dozen here, joined in. With our shots done, the patrons wandered over to congratulate the guys while I fired up their one and only CD. Studio time would come sooner than they thought. If this guy Sal operated as quickly and thoroughly as I’d read—and yes, I’d stalked him—he’d have a plan in place by the time they had their first official meeting.

Some of the regulars bought the guys drinks but when it got to where no one could stand, I had to cut them off. “Jason, how did you guys get here?” There was no way in hell I would let any of them drive. Josh’s car was at my house, so I had him, but the others I hadn’t a clue how they would get home safely.

“Uber. Wanted to celebrate.” If I wasn’t fluent in drunk, deciphering Jason’s words would have been impossible.

Hopefully the meeting they kept talking about wasn’t tomorrow.

“All right, guys,” Jason rose, I’d say stood but the swaying kept him from that. “No practice. Sleep. Sleep is good. Wed-wed-Wednesday meeting.” He handed me a couple of twenties, but I shook my head.

“Your drinks were paid for.”

“Sweet. I’m out.” He stumbled toward the bar door and Daniel followed him out to make sure he got in with the right driver. Not long after, Nigel and Marley did the same and left Josh semi passed out with his head on the bar top while Holly, Daniel, and I went through our closing ritual.

“Come on, handsome, time to go home.” I helped steady him as I took his arm when he tried and failed to do it on his own.

“I love you.”

“I know, sweetheart.”

“You don’t love me, though, huh? That’s okay.”

“I do, I just don’t want the first time I say it to be when you’re drunk. Ask me again in the morning.

“’Kay.”

I highly doubted he’d remember I admitted to it let alone the entire conversation. Josh believed he was unlovable and resolved to live a loveless life. I, however, felt differently, though I had no idea how to show someone what love was when all they’d known was what it’s not. Thankfully, I’d talked to Mom earlier and let her know what was going on and why Josh was drinking. I’d hate for her to think his being drunk was the norm when it wasn’t. Tonight was in celebration, which she understood, versus his last depression-driven bender. Still, not nightly but I’d learned enough to understand how and why they occurred.

With the bar locked up and Josh loaded into the car, I drove home. He slept most of the way, well, passed out. Again. “Where-where are we?” he stuttered when I roused him.

“Home, baby.”

“I live with you?” How long did Josh think he slept for?

“Not yet, babe, but soon.”

“I can’t wait.”

Truth serum score two, Josh, zero.

“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you inside.” After going through the familiar motions of putting Josh to bed, I set the trash can beside it, took a shower and crawled in with him. Drunk or not, holding him while we slept was heavenly.

“Good morning, Rockstar.” Laughing with a mouthful of coffee wasn’t recommended. I nearly shot it across the table when she said that. Mom’s playful teasing of Josh made me love her even more. “You want a hot, greasy plate of…” She didn’t get to finish that before Josh bolted out of the kitchen and down the hall. I heard the toilet seat hit the tank and gagging ensued. Bet he regretted those nachos from last night now.

Mom had a bit of an evil streak and cackled so hard she couldn’t breathe. “Oh my god, he’s got to come over more often. This is far too much fun.”

“Great to see you, too, Becky.” Josh’s dry attempt at humor had me rolling. “I’m nothing if not entertaining.”

“Babe, sorry, but you did it to yourself.”

“We were celebrating. Don’t I get some sort of a hall pass for that?” Mom set a plate overflowing with eggs, toast, and potatoes in front of him and Josh turned a horrid shade of green.

“Just eat the toast, it’ll help. Congratulations on the contract. Reagan said you’re a hell of a guitar player.” The green morphed to pink at mom’s comment. Josh was getting better about taking compliments and hopefully with time, he’d see his own worth and realize the truth in them.

“Thank you.”

“Where’s your guitars and stuff?” He came in empty handed and I hoped like hell in his drunken stupor he hadn’t misplaced any of it.

“Masterson is storing it. Looks like I’ll be spending a lot of time in Seattle after we’re signed. Sal’s got us coming in tomorrow and said he’ll have our agenda ready, too. Man, I’ve waited so fuc...” Josh paused and glanced at Mom. “So long for this. It’s hard to believe it’s actually happening.”

“I’ll just leave you boys to it. I need to get logged on.” Mom kissed the top of his head as she moved past him. “And congratulations again.”

“Thanks, Becky, and thank you for breakfast.”

“You’re welcome.”

As soon as I heard her office door shut, I asked what I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer to. “So, want to start with how you got the bruise?” I poured Josh a cup of coffee and took a seat, ready for what I assumed would be a lengthy tale.

“You won’t believe it.” He took a sip. “Well, you remember the whole sordid story that started this?” When I shook my head, he continued. “Well, that little twink I got caught with was at the show and I guess he’s been working on his right hook.” Josh chuckled. “Little shit hit me square on. I tripped on some cords and fell on my ass.”

“Nice. So, they got two shows out of you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess they did. This was right as we headed up on stage, too, but we rocked the shit. The crowd was wild, and the energy was off the charts. We had them eating out of the palm of our hands. Heady feeling. Afterwards, security was waiting for us and escorted us to the Masterson bus. Well, Diamond and Easton’s bus. Verbally, all hell broke loose. But I stood my ground and said my peace. In the end, Sal agreed but Stoli ain’t happy.”

“Stoli? Isn’t he with Social Sinners?”

“Yup. Sal made him our mentor, mine specifically.”

“Hold up. Are you shitting me?”

“Nope. It’s gonna get really fucking interesting. Funny thing is his husband, Joey, the one that got the short end in that whole shitstorm. He’s the one who stuck up for me during this.” Josh shook his head like he still couldn’t believe it. “It was crazy.”

“Wow. That’s a great show of his character. Sounds like a real stand-up guy.”

“Yeah. A lot of shit got aired out and promises were given, and I fully intend to keep every fucking one I made.” Iron determination. One of the many things I’d grown to love about Josh. “I owe it to myself and to my band brothers.” Josh had been alone for so long that was all he knew. To hear him include the others in that statement said a lot.

“Now about the special person comment?” Saved the best for last knowing it would make him laugh.

“Yeah, I’ve got a special person. He just kind of burrowed under my skin and now I can’t shake him loose. I kinda love him.”

“Well, he kinda loves you, too.” Not sure if he remembered our brief conversation last night, but this worked just as well. “What time is your meeting tomorrow?”

“Ten a.m. sharp and I am ready.” Confident Josh was a sexy thing. “You’re looking at me like you want to eat me.”

“Something like that. But unfortunately, I’ve got to get to work.” Holly and Daniel had the day off which left Della and I to run the show. Together, Josh and I got the kitchen cleaned up and I walked him to the door where he reverted to his shy, unsure self. “Hey,” I tugged his hand, and he easily came and laid his head on my shoulder. He felt so damn good in my arms. “This is us, remember? Touching, kissing.” When our lips pressed together, I regretted having not already done it this morning. “Is always acceptable.” After a few more minutes, it was time to say goodbye. “And Josh?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

When our eyes met, his tears spilled over. “I love you, too.” One final kiss before he left, though I knew he’d show up at the bar later and I couldn’t wait. Just having him near was perfect for me.

“It’s hard, isn’t it?” Mom’s voice startled me.

“What’s hard?”

“Watching the one you love leave.”

“Yeah, but I know it’s not forever.”

“So, he is the one?” Had she been waiting for me to find that? My forever?

“Kinda early to say for sure, but it feels like it. I understand we both have intense jobs that require long hours apart, but I find myself staring at the door when I’m at work waiting for him to show.” How hard would it be once he was on the road for weeks on end? I didn’t have the kind of job I could just up and leave to join him. Sure, I was the owner but I was an owner amid rebuilding and revitalizing. And right now, I’d hired all the manpower I could afford so the rest was up to me.

“If your hearts are in it, you’ll find a way.” Mom always knew what to say. Hell, I was pretty damn sure our brains were connected at times. “That boy needs a lot of love and special handling. I can see it in his eyes and in his actions. He hangs on to your every word and counts on you to say and do the right things. To take care of him and his heart. He’s head over heels for you.”

“That’s a lot of responsibility for these shoulders to carry, Mom.” I only hoped and prayed I didn’t fail Josh.

“Nah, not for my boy. He’s got a heart the size of the world and a brain to match. Josh was meant for you. You’re just what the other needs. You can say it’s early and you hardly know each other, but the heart knows what it wants and once it finds that in a partner, it doesn’t let go.”

I hoped like hell she was right ‘cause my heart was all in. My brain would catch up later.