Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

N oel

Men.

I'd finally come to the conclusion most of them were insufferable.

"Fuck him, Max. Fuck. Him."

Max whined to say I was wrong.

"I'm not wrong. Kage wants nothing to do with me, except under the sheets." I was ready to stamp my foot out of frustration as if I was five years old. Way to go, girl. Perfect. Act like an adult.

Kage was more than frustrating with his constant scowl and the fact he hadn't shaved the entire time we'd been at the cabin. His beard had to be sexy of course, and the fact I'd always thought men were sexier with beards and mustaches was as irritating as the man.

Overhearing the man's determination to track, hunt, and kill the person or persons responsible for his family's deaths had caused a twofold mental response.

I'd wanted to pick up a spear and go with him on the hunt. That had been my first thought. But the man who'd laughed as if nothing could bother him while tossing snowballs didn't deserve to be labeled a killer. I felt it in every muscle, every blood cell.

Which meant my second thought had been to be angry with him.

How many men in his position managed to get a second chance at life? How many could finally try to find new happiness? I had no idea of the real numbers but what I did know from experience was that the people suffering trauma or tragedy had two choices.

Wallow in the continued self-pity.

Or overcome all the obstacles that had been shoved in their way.

As I started the water, grateful one of the stupid things I'd brought with me had been bubble bath, I knew I was judging Kage a little harshly. I'd certainly spent enough time replaying being the victim. I'd wallowed in that very pity I'd thought about with him, devouring cartons of ice cream and gallons of wine while watching horror flicks. They'd comforted me.

My shrink had been bug-eyed when I'd told him.

One thing did stick in my mind after Kage's admittance. I believed he wasn't guilty of killing the mafia leader's son, but did that really make a difference? He was an admitted killer after all. The justice system had a funny way of looking at men involved in organized crime. Judges, mayors, and prosecutors often railroaded men who'd had nothing to do with a high- profile murder or murders into prison to gain votes. Hell, I'd seen it in action in my home state.

Yes, I'd read about crime syndicates, researching a dozen families and organizations throughout the world for a couple of books, but I was by no means an expert. They were bad guys but the organizations certainly were entirely different than even twenty years ago. The groups had gotten more sophisticated. The crime writer wanted to delve into Kage's defense, finding loopholes. My guess was the only thing I could do was help Kage force an admittance from… whoever the hell was really responsible.

Yeah, that was going to happen.

I was more than frustrated as hell, especially because the brutal rogue would never want help from a little lady.

I went back to my original thought.

Fuck him.

However, my thoughts also continued to drift to Kage's grandfather. Was it possible the man had been involved with something so heinous that it had caused the terrible ripple effect?

And why was I bothering to psychoanalyze Kage's life? He was hot and cold. Good and evil. Something I had to keep in the back of my mind that for the blips of joy or light I'd seen in him, the darkness had quickly taken over. He didn't want to feel better. He didn't need anyone but himself. He had no intentions of building a new life.

He was determined to get himself killed.

There was nothing I could do about it.

Or was there?

I added a heaping volume of bubbles to the steamy water and lit the couple of candles I'd found with the old lighter. At least it was still working. As Max thumped his tail, I gazed down at him. The pup's eyes were imploring more than usual.

"Don't look at me that way. I wasn't the one to shut us down. I've extended the olive branch a dozen times. At least it feels that way. Yes, I do miss him and I wish things could be different, but if you're looking for the perfect nuclear family, my sweet pup, it's not possible. In fact, I doubt it really exists other than in books."

He woofed a couple of times and I flicked off the overhead light.

"But you're right. I do care about him, way too much. He's amazing and so handsome, the only man who's ever made me feel so beautiful and alive. I want nothing more than to get to know him a lot better, but what am I supposed to do? Fawn all over him? Try and seduce him? That's not my style. Okay, not that I really have a style. I know what you're thinking."

Max was silent, which meant he was criticizing me. I could feel it. "Okay, I could see it outside of this cabin, and the danger he has brought us, so as soon as you can figure out how to make that happen, let me know. You're supposed to be a lot wiser than most humans so put your money where your mouth is, pup. I need some help here or I might just go mad. And I assure you that neither you nor the man who… turned you into the most incredible little boy on the face of this earth want to see that."

As I reached down, scratching him under the chin, he licked my face.

The sweet dog always knew when I needed a little extra attention or just a soft kiss to make me feel better.

I yanked the towel off the bar, wondering just how long Kage could continue brooding. The internet was working, yeah, but he still had my phone. If only I could make a couple of calls. Maybe my buddy the detective could provide a little help. Hmmm… he did owe me, right?

For what?

I waved my hand as if that was going to push the inner voice away.

The other issue in my great plan was that Kage watched me every time I opened the laptop. Okay, so maybe he knew me well enough to comprehend I certainly would have sent an email or two off to those people who cared about me.

Even if somewhere in the back of my mind I was aware of the danger if I did.

What I hated more than anything was feeling like a caged animal.

At least I had a tall glass of wine and the water would soothe my aching muscles. My mind was a completely different animal. I wanted to break through to Kage. I longed to see him smile again like during the snowball fight. I just wanted…

The fairytale.

Yep, I did.

With an ex-con? With a confirmed killer?

Now I'd consumed too much of the Kool-Aid readers did when falling into one of my brutal stories.

I was trying to pen the perfect happily ever after, when there was no such thing. I quickly stripped off my clothes, taking a deep breath before stepping into the tub. At least the master bath had a wonderful claw-foot bathtub, which made me wonder how many layers Kage's grandfather had.

Likely as many as Kage did.

Thankfully, the last two days had allowed me to produce some wicked pages on a new book. Granted, it was even more bloody and violent than any I'd written before, including a woman being stalked but lo and behold, she was the mastermind killer. Cold and calculated, enjoying every creative kill. It was completely different than my original outline but had bestseller written all over it.

If I could stomach the bloodshed.

Maybe my heroine was based on the inside girl, the one I'd tried to turn into a killer myself. Oops. Little did Kage know how many times I'd thought about the one hundred most painful ways of killing James Jones.

It was that dirty little secret I'd take to my grave.

I took a sip of wine before settling into position. The flickering candles were nice but added shadows I wasn't certain I liked. A silly laugh bubbled to the surface. Here I was telling the larger-than-life man to buck and suck it up, yet a few little shadows created from warming candlelight were making me antsy?

I was better than that.

Determined to set an example, or simply just being tired of playing the victim myself, I plastered a smile on my face and before I closed my eyes, I noticed Max had experienced enough of my lamenting over something I could never have, trotting out the still open bathroom door to sights unseen. The truth was I couldn't blame him. I was a sorry sack to be around.

As I eased deeper into the water, I couldn't help but wish I had some music. But alas, this girl would be disappointed again. At least the water did feel good but the sound of windows rattling from the wind, something scratching at the one in the bathroom created all kinds of morbid thoughts.

They're coming to get you, Noel.

The little voice inside my head was the perfect representation of a movie or radio announcer specializing in horror or slasher flicks. At least I could laugh at myself, my imagination not dead yet.

Another sound caught my attention a couple of seconds later, and I jerked up my head, trying to figure out what I was hearing. It took me a full minute as the music got a little louder, as if the source was being brought closer.

I jerked up, narrowing my eyes. "What the hell?"

Seconds later, I couldn't help but giggle, even kicking my feet in the water. Metal music. My favorite band too. How in God's name had Kage figured out I adored Disturbed? Just when I wanted to hate him, Kage pulled out all the stops, or least those that mattered to me, to provide a snippet of the fabulous man I believed him to be.

For a few seconds, I thought for certain he was going to slip inside the room. When it was apparent I was wrong, another wave of disappointment hit me but at least he'd tried to do something nice. The smile remained on my face as I closed my eyes all over again. Within seconds, I felt a bit more relaxed, the sound of the wind drowned out altogether.

But what had the man done? Made me think about him. Hunger for him. Need him.

Damn the man.

Without opening my eyes, I carefully reached for my wine, pulling the glass to my lips as one of my absolute favorite songs started to play. I couldn't help but move under the water, even splashing some over the edge of the tub. Oh, who cared? I'd clean up the mess. I started to hum then was unable to keep from singing the part I knew.

I was shifting the wineglass back and forth, my eyes still closed, enjoying being able to listen and get into the music for the first time in what seemed like forever. A little bit of normalcy. But thoughts of him continued to creep into my mind. Ignoring the way I felt about him and the attraction that was hot and heavy seemed like an impossible feat.

Especially since there wasn't an ugly part on his body. Even the odd scars I'd seen on his back and chest didn't take away from his stunning good looks.

God help me, I had to find a way to get him off my mind. I returned the wine, purposely pushing every lurid thought away.

Seconds later, they crept back in and suddenly, I found myself swirling the tip of my index finger around one nipple, both breasts poking out of the water. The hot water wasn't helping the fact I was on fire, the need a constant issue. I shifted my hand to my other nipple, even pinching the already tender bud until a moan slipped from my lips.

And there it was, the huge crackle of electricity I wasn't certain I'd be lucky enough to feel again. I felt more embarrassed than I had any time before, first sliding my hand into the water before daring to open one eye as little as possible. A part of me was thinking maybe I was wrong and he wasn't staring down at me.

Worse.

He was sitting on the edge of the tub studying me as if I'd just been a very bad girl. Even the wry expression he wore added to the tingling sensations.

"I see you find it impossible to be a good girl."

His voice was definitely huskier than normal. A heated tremor shifted straight to my core, a wave of desire sweeping through me that was entirely different. "What does that mean? I told you I was taking a bath. Is that against the rules?"

"No but playing with yourself without permission is." His smirk grew, the candlelight doing nothing more than illuminating his gorgeous carved features. Damn it.

"Whoa. Hold on here. You never added that to the list of rules. I knew all about trying to escape and daring to attempt to steal your truck again. I also was told point blank stealing one of your weapons would result in a hard spanking, but never did you say I couldn't play with myself. Now, if you were a smart man, which I thought you were up until a day or so ago, you wouldn't have pushed me into playing with myself."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah. You're actually the person to blame for this. You should be angry with the sexy man standing there looking like a brooding giant. Maybe you can figure out a way to discipline that bad boy inside of you." Boy, I was hot and heavy, more vehement about something so ridiculous than I'd ever been in my life.

He was staring at me and for a few seconds I felt even more self-conscious. "Brooding giant? Are you finished?"

His voice was doing exactly what he wanted it to, driving me batty. I rubbed hair from my eyes, trying to think about how best to address the situation. When it came to me, I offered my own version of a wicked yet calculating smile.

"Why yes, yes, I am." That was a mere blip in time before I grabbed the front of his shirt with both hands, yanking him into the water.

As the full weight of his body fell on top of mine, water sloshing onto the floor, the air was knocked from my lungs. But there was nothing that could replace the shock in his eyes or the way my sassy move made us both laugh.

He immediately gasped, his eyes lit up like I'd never seen them before but when they narrowed, a growl erupting from the very deepest part of his core, I had a feeling I was in for it.

His hand was suddenly wrapped around my throat, squeezing more as a reminder of his dominance in my little world than attempting to retaliate. I sensed his playful mood had returned.

Meanwhile, I was hot and bothered.

Taking his time, he lowered his head as he rubbed his thumb very slowly back and forth across my lower lip. "I've asked myself a dozen times what the fuck I was going to do with you now that I had you."

God, his voice was even gruffer. It reminded me of a man who'd smoked one too many cigars and drank too much whiskey, but that obviously wasn't the case. "What did you figure out?" I was so drawn to him, especially since he had soap suds all over his scruffy chin and shirt. I took my time sliding my finger just under the top of his shirt, toying with the chest hairs that had also attracted me since the beginning.

He lowered his gaze as well as his head by a couple of inches, the growl he issued deeper than before. "That I just need to fuck you senseless after spanking you every. Single. Day. Maybe I should even keep you chained to the bed." Before I had a chance to say my usual line of retort, he shoved his thumb into my mouth.

The little bit of suds should make me gag but I found myself caught up in the luxurious if not sinful moment, sucking on his thick digit without being told to do so. Just the way he was smirking at me was far too seductive, easily allowing me to read his mind.

Not that I was going to be easy for him to get.

The thought almost made me roll my eyes.

I allowed myself to thoroughly enjoy the moment, twisting one hand around his wrist while I sucked, making filthy sounds every few seconds.

He was slowly shaking his head and I could swear I heard him muttering under his breath. When he finally did remove his thumb, his chest was heaving and holy cow, his eyes were dilated.

A slight crooked smile came after his upper lip curled. "You shouldn't have done that."

"Mmm… but I did. What are you going to do about it?" I rolled my eyes on purpose.

I honestly wasn't certain any longer what I was expecting but as he started peeling off his wet clothes, tossing his boots across the room until they hit the wall with a hard thud, all I could do was laugh.

If only we could continue being this way at least the majority of the time. I could only imagine how… happy we could be as a couple. What was I thinking?

A couple?

That wasn't going to happen.

He nearly ripped his shirt trying to remove it and jerking off his wet jeans turned out to be real disaster. Somehow, he managed to get more water on the floor than remained in the tub. I only hoped we had enough towels to soak it up. His grin remained more like a ferocious lion than a human and he started the water once he was completely naked.

I couldn't help myself, giggling because the bubbles were covering him in very creative works of art.

"What are you laughing at, sunshine?"

"I think you look spectacular awash in bubbles." As he gave me a hard look and I burst into full laughter, I happened to notice Max was lying on the floor just outside the bathroom, his chin resting on his two paws.

He knew better than to bother coming in. The pup was smarter than the two of us put together.

I playfully tossed some bubbles at Kage, still laughing until he straddled my legs, placing his palms on the outer edges of the tub. In the candlelight, the soft glow shimmering across his face, I was able to concentrate on the expression he wore. Not that I was certain what his clenched jaw or the way his lips were pursed meant, but I did sense his burning desire.

There was no mistaking the way we felt about each other, the strong pull and tug, but what were we supposed to do with the lust-filled energy? I knew neither one of us could go on this way. At least not for long.

As he slowly lowered his head, I was struck not only by the intense scent of citrus and wood but also by the way he was breathing through his mouth. The sound was exaggerated, reverberating in the room. But with the sounds of a softer shade of Disturbed playing in the background, I knew we were both being pulled into a beautiful vacuum.

His hot breath was tickling my skin, the fact he was taking so long to kiss me driving me crazy. I was the one who wrapped my arm around his neck, closing the few centimeters of space between our two mouths. Mr. Rough and Tumble was once again gentle with his kiss, darting his tongue past my lips.

I'd become more of the aggressor, to the point I almost immediately sucked on his tongue, enjoying a little bit of control. He held himself aloft, allowing me to bask in the moment for a few seconds. Finally, he captured my mouth as the man I'd first met had, the one refusing to take no for an answer.

But the moment of intimacy wasn't frantic as it had always been before. This was as if we were finally trying to get to know each other. It was crazy yet wonderful, allowing for continuous jolts of current. When he broke the kiss, I gasped, reaching for him immediately.

"Hold on, baby girl. Unless you want to deal with a flood." His grin was infectious as he reached back, turning off the water. As he advanced again, cupping one side of my face, butterflies swarmed in my stomach. No matter the good or bad sides to him, the man could easily make my heart flutter.

As he pressed the back of my head against the tub, his weight pinning me down, I wondered if there could ever be anything so amazing as this again. Maybe accepting this was a fantasy and nothing else was perfectly okay. I didn't want to try to make him something he wasn't anyway. That never worked out.

But here we were, pretending to be better versions of ourselves, playing at being in the heated middle of a relationship. The kiss became more powerful until it seemed his desire was overpowering mine.

He broke the kiss, chuckling slightly as he took several deep breaths. Every move with the man was absolutely perfect and as he pulled me up and onto his lap, not a single drop of water splashed over the edge.

I would need to ask him how he managed that.

Later.

This was far too enjoyable to ignore even for a few seconds.

As his cock filled me, finding its way into my pussy without any assistance, I issued an intense vocal shudder. His shaft was throbbing more than usual, stretching my muscles to the point I was taking shallow breaths from the pleasure.

Now I was the one straddling his legs, cupping one side of his face as he was doing to me. I just knew the room was spinning in circle after circle like in glorious romantic movies when the couples finally acknowledge they couldn't live without each other.

I was lightheaded, beads of perspiration rolling down my cheeks like they were doing on his. We remained exactly like we were, staring into each other's eyes. He shifted a couple of times, driving his cock in even deeper, but we were both concentrating on showing the other what we were thinking and wanting.

"Don't worry, baby girl. It will all work out." His voice was full of reassurance.

"How. How is that possible?"

"Because I have a few tricks up my sleeve."

"I don't want tricks, Kage. I just want what's best for you. You need to let me help clear your name."

The shock on his face was followed by that very stubborn look of disdain. "I got parole. That's all I can expect."

"Not necessarily. I'm pretty damn good at research. I think we can clear your name. That's what is best for you."

"That's where you are wrong. What's best for me is being with you." He slipped his hand behind my head, digging his fingers into my scalp and pulling back so he could drag his tongue along the underside of my chin. I pressed one hand against his chest, kneading his muscles as he used his insanely strong thigh muscles to thrust.

I squeezed my muscles, trying to keep my breathing even as he toyed with me, using two fingers to pinch one nipple then the other. The hint of pain was delicious, more so than I should admit.

Bucking against him, I sloshed water all over again, the jolt of vibrations amazing. He continued adding hints of anguish to ecstasy, twisting my nipples until they both ached. But I had no intention of stopping him.

We developed a rhythm and he finally let go of my hair, his hands resting on my legs as mine were on his. There was no need to be fast in what we were doing, no worry about being interrupted, unless it was by an often naughty Golden Shepherd. We simply enjoyed the tingling sensations, the way we could make each other feel. I was shocked and amazed at our combined self-control, the ability to do nothing more than allow the moment to continue.

When he finally broke the mesmerizing moment, rubbing his fingers ever so lightly down one arm, I could tell he had so much on his mind. Yet the passion, the need we both experienced to feel alive was more powerful than anything else.

I had no idea how long we were coupled together but the water was starting to cool. He gripped my hips, becoming more intense with his actions. I was almost instantly thrown into a euphoric feeling, my breathing changing. I was so amazed, feeling a hint of sadness that didn't seem appropriate, but I knew it was a matter of time before the bubble was burst.

Still, as the climax tickled my toes, I clamped my hands down on his shoulders. We gave each other another hard stare as the beautiful moment continued but within seconds, I had to toss my head back as pleasure unlike anything before swept through me.

"Yes. Oh, God. Yes. Yes."

He forced my head back into position, the look on his face positively evil, but it only added to the heated need. The orgasm was sweet and powerful at the same time, pushing me into the most delicious plane of rhapsody.

As soon as I started to come down from sheer euphoria, I pushed him back against the tub's edge, now taking control whether he liked it or not.

In the moments he allowed, I slowly manipulated his body, riding him as I squeezed my legs against him like I was with my pussy and he slowly began to fade into his own moment of ecstasy.

He erupted deep inside, filling me with his seed and for me, it signaled yet another change in the two of us. While I didn't know what that meant, I had a feeling I wouldn't be able to brush aside my feelings any longer.

Was it possible I could fall in love with this man, this crazy and dark man?

Wouldn't that be ironic if I did?