Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Gregor

Ifelt like an asshole as I drove home later that afternoon. I had gone through every bit of evidence Alissa had gathered and promised I’d get her daughter back. But not for the reasons she thought. And not as fast as she deserved. I had to protect the bratva, who were connected to this mess thanks to the Ivanovs, and that meant lying to her. When I’d left my apartment earlier, I had hated myself the moment I’d closed the door once more, keeping Michelle from her mother. I just needed to figure out the story of how I would ‘find’ her, and then she could go back home where she belonged. Lying never sat comfortably with me.

An honest man who put what was right ahead of his business interests would have told her the whole truth and put her baby in her arms. Instead, here I was pretending to be anything but a mob hitter, while appearing to investigate some of my pakhan’s own people and then coming home to her missing little girl.

I wish I could at least tell her that Michelle was safe. That she didn’t need to worry. Damn it. But my oaths to the organization had to come before my emotions. I wasn’t the best of men, but I tried to be an honorable one.

My little rose…Alissa looked good these days, despite her ordeal. She had grown out her hair, but was still wearing rose perfume and that soft pink lipstick. If anything, the years had made her even sexier. Or perhaps I had just forgotten how much of an effect she had on me.

I had spent the entire meeting wanting to be closer to her. Wanting her in my arms, wanting her soft, bare body against mine, wanting to feel her trembling under me again. Wanting to make her beg.

But I was lying to her, and she hadn’t gotten her baby back yet. And until she did, and we could put all this behind us, I had no business coaxing Alissa back into my bed.

Michelle was at least doing better. No more hiding when she was startled, no more waking me up screaming from night terrors. She built multicolored castles from her Legos and drew banners to fly from their walls.

So far, she had seemed content to stay in the apartment with her new cat friend and the toys I had gotten her. I hoped she wasn’t afraid of the outside world, but right now, I could not afford to check, and risk being seen. I knew I couldn’t keep her like this for long. The poor kid had been held captive for a year of her life, she deserved to run and play. She still hadn’t spoken. Not one single word. I didn’t know if she’d been talking before her kidnapping, but it was likely. Now she was mouse-quiet. Trauma? Self-protection? Some nastily enforced order from her kidnappers? Whatever had stolen her voice, I was going to help her get it back once she was safe with her mother. If I had to pay for a damn speech pathologist, I would. If I had to pay for therapy, fine. I wanted to right this wrong, and not just because a real piece of shit example of my people had done this to her. Nor was it simply because the child could be mine.

It was both those things, and what passed for my sense of honor. Beyond that, it was because this was Alissa’s child.

Alissa, the only woman I had never forgotten. The only one I had ever regretted walking away from.

Sometimes, her cries of pleasure would invade my dreams, and I would remember how she’d clung to me and begged for more. I’d been so hot for her that we’d gone through all four rubbers I’d had on me. That hadn’t happened since I had been a dumbass kid falling madly in love with every girl who slept with me.

If a baby came out of all of that I wasn’t actually all that surprised, I thought as I pulled into the parking garage. I never came so hard with any other woman either. And now she was within reach, and I was going home alone with my balls aching because of principles.

Once mother and child were reunited, I would see if Alissa was involved with anyone, and if not, if she wanted to be. We had been so good together for a night, and now that I’d seen her at her worst, I had lost none of my attraction to her. Instead, I wanted to fix everything for her, and then see to the business of sweeping her off her feet.

Once everything was all right again, I’d also ask for a DNA test, and we’d take it from there on the potential fatherhood thing. That, I was still wrapping my head around, even though the kid in question was already four and, if perhaps temporarily, in my life.

Could I be her biological father? And if so, was I cut out to be Michelle’s dad? And if I got invested in her or Alissa, what would happen if they learned the truth about me and ran?

It might end up that one day, Alissa would find out what I really did for a living. But perhaps before then I could convince her that I was a good man. And a good man for her.

Ifelt ridiculous. She might have been willing to co-parent with me, but a relationship? What would that even look like? Even if Alissa could somehow accept it, what would we tell Michelle? Could either of them have a normal life if connected to me?

There was risk attached to all of this. Physical risk, I didn’t give a damn about. But I really didn’t want to limp around secretly nursing a broken heart for however many months it took to heal. Not again. Still, if anyone was worth the risk, it was Alissa and her little ray-of-sunshine kid.

I mulled all of this over as I rode the elevator up, finding that I was looking forward to seeing what the kid had been up to. I was smiling as I turned the corner to head for my front door, only to freeze in place for a second. Sergei was leaning against the wall next to my door, waiting for me.

Sergei only dropped in occasionally, so I hadn’t expected this. The timing couldn’t have been worse. In a few more days, Michelle would be back to her mother and every trace of her would have been out of my apartment. As it was, if I invited Sergei in for our usual drink and chat when he dropped by, I would have a lot of explaining to do. But if I didn’t, I ran the risk of making him suspicious.

Come on in, Sergei, I’ll get the vodka shots set up. Careful not to step on that Lego castle. Or the ball. Or the teddy bear. Or the small child in the corner. Oh, her? Came with the place.

No, that was definitely not going to work. And I didn’t want to face the kind of questions I would get for unexpectedly harboring a little girl in my apartment. I was brewing up some excuse to shoo him away when he saw me and broke into a wide smile.

“Gregor! My friend! I was in the neighborhood with this bottle of pear brandy and said to myself, ‘You know who I haven’t drunk with in a dog’s age? Gregor!’ So, I am here.” He was already slightly plastered, enough that I didn’t like the thought of him driving.

“Oh, hello, Sergei. I didn’t know you were back from your errand yet.” Sergei was mostly an intelligence man, gathering information for Vasily, but he was also better with computers than any of us, which meant anytime there was a problem with the network at one of our businesses, Sergei and his tools were sent over there to deal with it.

“Yeah, turned out the problem was between the chair and the keyboard again. I have the evening off, and I don’t want to spend it sober.”

I laughed awkwardly in response, and he picked up on it immediately despite his tipsy look.

“Oh? You’re not up for drinking?” His tone became teasing. “Do you have a woman coming over?”

“Nah. Had to walk away from a pretty one, though,” I deflected. How much was safe to tell him? He was my best friend, but he was also Vasily’s spymaster, and I wasn’t ready for this to get back to Vasily yet.

He lifted an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“The lady with the missing daughter.” I smiled, fumbling with my keys when I didn’t have to. “Met with her today. I think I can get her reunited with her daughter within a few days.”

“That fast? Wait, this is the one you’re pretending to be a private eye for? The one with the donations?”

“That’s her. Alissa.” I dropped my keys and grabbed them, then glanced back at him. He was watching me steadily, and I saw suspicion growing in his eyes.

Damn it. If I didn’t let him in, he’d know something was up.Could I trust him with the truth if I put the right spin on my explanation?

I squared my shoulders. I had never been the best liar, which was part of why he had his job and I had mine. “Yeah. Come on in.”

I unlocked the door and walked in with him. There was no sign of Michelle, and not only that, all of her toys were cleared away, the TV was off, and the lights were off. The only one who greeted me was the cat, who ran up to inform us both that his bowl was empty.

But what about Michelle? I looked around, suddenly worried. Had someone taken her? No, that made no sense. Was she hiding? I’d not had any alerts that there had been security breaches, so she had to be here somewhere.

“Make yourself at home, glasses are in the cabinet. Should order food?” I was praying he said no, the longer he stuck around, the harder it would be to hide Michelle’s presence from him.

“Nah, I ate, can’t stay too long. I actually do have a woman coming over!” He let out a laugh and flopped onto my couch.

“Fine. Let me take a piss and I’ll be right out.”

I stepped into the hall and walked down toward the guest room, which was across from the master bathroom. I ducked into it quickly, closing the door behind me. All of the missing toys had been hastily tossed into the room. I crouched down and saw Michelle peering at me curiously from under the bed.

“You okay, kid?” I checked in a whisper.

She nodded.

I had a thought, Sergei was hardly subtle. “You heard the banging at the door and hid?”

She nodded again.

“All right. Just sit tight for a few minutes until I get rid of my friend.”

Another nod and a thumbs-up.

“It’s going to be okay. I’ll be back soon.”

I washed my hands in the bathroom and got Michelle a cup of water. I kept a smile on, but I was in shock. She was four. She shouldn’t have had the instinct to hide—and hide well. She shouldn’t have had any experience that forced her to think about the details, turning off the lights, hiding her toys, tucking herself away and making no noise. But she had.

The sense of always being safe, of never having to hide, had been stolen from her at such a young age, and the very thought of it made me hate the Ivanovs even more. They had stolen that part of her innocence. If not for sheer dumb luck, they might have stolen much, much more.

I wanted to do more than protect that little girl now. I wanted to avenge her. My daughter or not, she deserved it. So did her mother.

“What’s with that grim look? You get a shit caught crosswise?” Sergei was pouring the brandy into two blown-glass globes from my cabinet when I came back out. “I didn’t even know you had these glasses. What is this, Mexican? Fancy.”

“I picked them because they’re tough.” Mexican glassware was pretty, yes, but it was also thick and heavy and fit my hands. “And they hold more brandy.”

He laughed, taking my faked smile for a real one. “So tell me about this woman and her kid,” he said halfway through our first glass.

“Alissa’s an old lover, like I said. Half a decade ago, little more now. Amazing girl, really sweet. We hit it off, but you know my policy.”

He nodded, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, never more than one weekend with the same girl. I know. But now this one’s back in your life?”

“Yeah, it looks like traffickers grabbed her kid. I’m going to get the two back together.”

“Wait, you’re taking off the clock work for your old lover?”

“Just rescuing her kid. It’s kind of personal.” I fished around for the reason he might grasp the fastest.

“How can it be personal? You had one night with this girl and then moved on.”

I took a deep breath. “Just between you and me? Alissa and I got together a little over five years ago. The kid? Four years and change.”

He blinked at me slowly, then his eyes widened. “Wait. You mean that little girl?”

“She could be mine, yeah.”

He set down his glass, staring at me. “Holy fuck. What a way to learn you might be a dad—someone’s grabbed the kid.”

“Yeah.” And it had been sheer dumb luck that I had been the one to find her. But I was never going to admit that to Sergei.

“So you find the kid, reunite her with Mom, then maybe get something going with Mom?” He waggled his eyebrows and I snorted.

“Maybe. Thing is, I already have a pretty good idea where the kid is, but that’s through our resources. I have to have a good cover story.”

“Oh, don’t want her to find out you’re a mobster, huh?” He scooped up his glass again, smirking.

“It’s not just that. I don’t want her knowing too much about us. I want her to get her kid back, but I don’t want to compromise our security in the process.”

“Vasily would be pretty pissed if you did that. Can’t you just say you have to keep your sources private?” Weirdly, he seemed more sober now, as if he’d just started drinking with me instead of an hour earlier.

“I can do that some, but too much and she’ll catch on that something’s up. The girl’s smart, Sergei, and observant.”

“Sounds like you gotta walk a fine line with that one. You up to it?”

I chuckled and took a swallow from my glass. The stuff went down like sherry. “Always. If she gets too nosy, I’ll just seduce her until she doesn’t know up from down.”

He brayed out a laugh, his long, homely face full of merriment. “That’s the spirit. Yeah. I think you’ve got things under control. So…you tell the boss about any of this?”

I hesitated just a beat too long as he stared at me. “Not yet,” I admitted. “I mean, it’s a long, weird story, and I’m doing all this when he doesn’t need me.”

“He’ll still want to know, especially if you think the kid’s yours. Most especially if you’re using organization resources for this.”

My jaw tightened. I didn’t need a fucking lecture, not when I’d already gotten one from Vasily when I asked about the Ivanovs. “I’m trying to figure out how to approach him about this. Not much of what I’m doing should even be on his radar.”

“You don’t think so?” He sounded amused. “Well, if any of this trafficking stuff crosses over into our territory, all of this becomes the boss’s business.”

“I know,” I sighed. “I’m not going to go and forget that because it’s my kid in danger. However, I’m hoping he’ll be understanding when he knows what’s at stake for me.”

“Maybe. The boss has been acting kind of weird lately about things like that, if you hadn’t noticed.”

I looked up from my glass at him, frowning. “What do you mean, weird?”

“I mean he’s going harder on everything that he ever has before. He wants to expand, he wants to put down every enemy, he wants to discipline every bad employee, all at once, all right now. It’s like he thinks he doesn’t have any time left or something.”

“That’s bizarre, man,” I said. “I noticed he’s been more secretive and more demanding, but I didn’t know about the rest.”

“Yeah. Bizarre is the word. I keep hearing bits about it because of my job, but Vasily himself isn’t talking.”

“Huh. I wonder what’s going on,” I muttered before taking another drink.

“Guess we’ll find out eventually. But I kind of wish he would just tell us,” Sergei admitted.

“Probably be a cold day in hell before the boss comes clean about having a problem,” I said. If Vasily had a flaw, it was his pride. He never asked for help, and he absolutely hated being questioned.

Sergei and I drank and chatted for a while, before suddenly his phone pinged with a message. He checked it, and looked up with a grin. “Well, got to go. Looks like my date got off early tonight.”

“You sure you’re all right to drive?” I got up to see him out, not wanting to let him go without at least asking.

He scoffed. “I’m fine. Don’t fuss, Papa.”

I snorted as I walked him to the door. “It would just suck if the smartest guy in the bratva died from something as stupid as drunk driving.”

“No problems there.” He seemed very amused that I gave a shit as he left my apartment. I supposed it ran contrary to my terrifying tough guy reputation, just like the fundraiser. Maybe that was why everyone had donated. They had to figure it was way important if the team hardcase was backing it.

No matter what I did, I would have to tell Vasily what was going on. I was covering our asses the best I could, but at the end of the day, it was better he heard about it all from me instead of through the organization’s grapevine.

I let out a huge sigh and immediately turned to go check on Michelle. When I got into the room, she hadn’t moved yet. “It’s all right, kid, he’s gone. Come on out and I’ll order us some dinner.”

She came scooting out and climbed to her feet, looking as calm as if I had just walked in on her playing. But I knew better now.

“I think I need to ask you some questions. I know you’re not talking right now, so I’ll make them yes or no.”

She nodded and reached for my hand, holding it as we walked back into the living room. She wrinkled her nose at the smell of the pear brandy, but hopped up on the couch gamely enough.

“You like pizza?” I asked, and she nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, me too. Cheese?” Nod. “Anchovies?” She pulled a face and shook her head, and I chuckled.

“You know what anchovies are?” She shook her head and grinned.

“Okay, you like sausages though, pepperoni?” That got another enthusiastic nod.

I ended up ordering us a big pepperoni pizza, knowing I would inhale more than half of it after all the running around I had done today. While we waited, I took a breath, let it out slowly, and asked, “Michelle?”

She looked up at me, that calm expression never leaving her little face. I knew now that it was a mask for all the things she was really feeling. She was too young to truly understand the horrors she had been exposed to, but I was coming to realize that her time with me really was the first time in a long time that she had felt at all safe.

“Who taught you how to hide like that? Putting away your toys and turning off lights and things? Was it one of the other girls?”

Her expression shifted, going from calm to sad and a little scared. She nodded.

“One of the older girls?”

More nodding. She bit her lip, wrapping her arms around herself and peering up at me with that solemn look that hid so much.

I wondered if Michelle had learned to hide like that to keep from being dragged out easily and stuck in front of the cameras. That, plus her being too young to follow directions, was probably what saved her from ending up as porn for the worst degenerates on the damn planet. But just being captive and close to it, with the threat looming closer every day, with it happening to the girls around her… God, this kid was going to need some serious therapy.

It made me furious. I wondered what had happened to that older girl who had taught Michelle and probably tried to protect her.

When I had found her, she had been their only captive and other than the makeup and discarded novel, there had been no other signs that anyone else had been there. I knew from the notes that a few had been traded to a brothel, but what about the others? Where were they?

You already know, said a cold, hard voice deep inside me. That big backyard with the cypress trees to keep the neighbors from seeing anyone digging in the middle of the damn night. Under all that neatly laid sod there are bones. Bones of children and young women, and of anyone else who tried to help them.

A small hand was patting my arm and drew me from my thoughts. I realized I was sitting there silently, with horror written across my expression, and Michelle saw. She was patting me like she might a crying puppy, open worry on her little face.

I covered her hand with mine. “It’s all right, sweetheart, I’m just thinking of bad grownup things.” Including what I wanted to do to anyone living who was involved with hurting those kids. “You want some juice?”

She nodded enthusiastically. On the way out of the room, I grabbed the two glasses of pear brandy and downed the rest of mine in an almost desperate gulp.

Getting this kid back to her mom was just the beginning, I realized as I rinsed the snifters and found a clean glass for juice. After that, they had to recover. At least, thanks to me and the guys, they’d have the money for it.

But there was still a long road ahead. And the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to make sure those two didn’t have to walk it alone.

***

I sat up on the edge of my sofa and rubbed my eyes, Michelle had gone to bed hours ago and I’d decided to do more research on the Ivanovs. I must have dropped off to sleep at some point. I had no idea how long I was out for the count, or what time it was, but given I’d only had around four or five hours of sleep over the past two days it wasn’t surprising.

Today had been a hell of a day, seeing Alissa for the first time in over five years had affected me in a way I didn’t know was possible. She was as beautiful as I remembered her, maybe even more. Her hair was longer now, just past shoulder length, but it was the same light, ash-blonde.

So much had happened in those years, for both of us I suppose. I’d gone from being one of the lower-level lieutenants in the bratva, to being Vasily’s go to hitman. And Alissa? She was no longer the innocent, sheltered girl I met who was looking to expand her life—the years had been cruel to her, but I could still see that spark of defiance. The fact that she had taken it upon herself to hire a PI to do what the police couldn’t, was testimony to her spirit. I felt another twinge of guilt, she hired me in good faith to try and find her daughter. But what would happen if she ever learned that I had already found Michelle and was trying to think of a way to get her back without implicating myself?

I sighed and scrubbed my hand over my face, feeling the stubble rasp against my fingers. What a mess we’d made of everything, and if I’d followed Vasily’s orders to the letter? It didn’t bear thinking about. The guilt of going against my pakhan and of lying to Alissa was getting to me, I needed to pull myself together. Get Michelle back to her mother, and make sure not a single Ivanov lay standing, and then I could get back to my usual life.

My eyes drifted around my spartan living room, my usual life consisted of the bare minimum—a well-stocked bar, a TV I rarely watched, and a large bed that only I occupied. Sure, I had women, but I didn’t like to take them back to my place, I was protective of my territory, my privacy, and I didn’t want anyone getting close. That had been my life for the past two decades—but what had changed? I used to enjoy the bachelor lifestyle and knew that being a hitman for the bratva wasn’t compatible with domesticity, but was having someone to come home to such a bad thing?

My mind went back to Alissa, the little blonde whirlwind who had never entirely left my mind. After five years of faceless fucking, she was the one I could still remember.

Shaking my head as if to clear those errant thoughts away I stood up and stretched, then turned to take a step toward the kitchen. Suddenly a sharp pain rocketed through my foot, and I jumped back wondering what the hell had happened. Looking down I saw some of the Legos that Michelle had been playing with, and lifting my foot there was a red imprint from the brick I’d stepped on. Laughing to myself I kicked it out of the way, forget minefields and booby traps, these bricks dropped around someone’s bed would incapacitate them in seconds. Taking in my room again I noticed the new additions, the half-built castle in the corner, a little painting easel by the window, and the picture books on the coffee table and smiled. It actually looked like someone lived here now, though not for long. She’d be back in her mother’s arms as soon as possible.

I needed to take a shower, what with the stakeout of the Ivanovs’ home a couple of days ago and falling asleep on the sofa, I had a crick in my neck and my shoulders ached. Food could wait.

Turning and walking down the hallway to my bathroom instead, I realized that since our meeting earlier I still hadn’t stopped thinking about Alissa. It wasn’t just about getting her daughter back, there was something about her that called to me.

It wasn’t that fact that she was mouth droppingly gorgeous with curves for days, there was something about her calm intensity. She reminded me of a swan, all serenity on the surface but underneath the crazy paddling. I hated to think of her going through all this alone. Was she alone? She’d not mentioned a boyfriend. I suddenly felt a flash of jealousy at the thought of her with another man, which was insane because what claim did I have on her body? Her smooth, soft body with that tight little pussy.

Fuck, if only she was here right now.

Turning on the bathroom light, I looked at myself in the mirror wondering what she saw. I wasn’t bad looking, but right now I looked haunted with dark circles under my eyes, wearing a wrinkled half-untucked shirt. A far cry from the smooth talker who romanced her five years ago. But if she was here right now, I would show her exactly what I was capable of—and with that thought, I could feel myself hardening.

I stripped out of my clothes and turned on the shower.

My cock was throbbing, and I reached down to give it an absent-minded stroke as I stepped under the hot water.

I closed my eyes and leaned back against the cool tiles, the contrast between the chill of the tiles and the steaming water sent a jolt right down to the pit of my stomach that made my balls tighten as my hand moved faster up and down my cock. I was rock-hard, my fingers gripped my shaft as I pumped.

Fuck, just thinking about that night with Alissa, how her pussy tasted and those noises she made got me harder than I had any right to be. It was almost painful, but in the best possible way.

I closed my eyes, pulling up all the mental images I had of her stored away. If she was standing in front of me in this shower, naked and wet, I wouldn’t waste any time. I’d already be on my knees in front of her, spreading her legs and teasing her slick folds with my tongue and fingers. Tasting her juices as I greedily lapped at her.

Her fingers would be in my hair, pulling me closer, I could imagine her moans as I coaxed her higher and higher. Her whole body would start to tremble as I fingered her, her gasps making my cock so hard it would take a miracle to stop me shooting my load all over the shower wall.

My breathing was ragged as my imagination worked in overdrive, I could picture her here with me, remembering her sweet taste. I would lap at the little trails of water that ran down her smooth stomach to her pussy and mingled with her own delicious juices. Then I’d part her lips and dip my tongue in deeper.

Fuck, I wanted her so badly it was painful. I gripped my straining cock in my fist as I imagined running my hands over her curves. Cupping her breasts. Sucking her rose pink nipples and gently pulling them as she moaned my name.

I was still half-lost in the fantasy as I stroked myself faster, now it was her small, soft, delicate hand gripping my cock instead of my own work-roughened palm, I remembered how her fingers couldn’t reach all around my thick shaft and she’d ended up using two hands on me, I let out a groan and my hand moved faster, harder, more insistently with each passing moment.

The orgasm building up inside me was going to be explosive, and I couldn’t hold back much longer. If she was here, I’d kiss her hard and rough, pinning her to the tiled wall while I thrust my cock, balls deep inside her.

Fuck, I could almost feel the tight, velvety heat of her pussy closing around me and gripping my entire length. I let out a hiss, as my hips thrust forward. My fist pumped my straining cock as I remembered how tight she was, her pussy squeezing my shaft. I couldn’t hold back much longer.

I needed to come.

“Oh fuck.” My breath caught as the first hot jet spilled out, hitting the wall. I reached out with my free hand to steady myself as my knees started to give way. My cock was jumping in my fist as another creamy jet spurted out. I knew this orgasm was going to be explosive, but I hadn’t expected to be almost knocked off my fucking feet.

I opened my eyes, half expecting Alissa to be here, the fantasy had been so vivid. I glanced down at my cock, it was still hard, and I gave it another couple of vigorous strokes as the last evidence of my arousal disappeared down the drain. Damn. I’ve stroked one out, on and off over the last five years to thoughts of Alissa, but something had been awakened after seeing her in the flesh once more. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to be inside her again. The fantasy alone was so intense, I almost gave myself a heart attack.

As I dried myself off, I decided that the sooner I reunited Michelle with her mother the better. I didn’t know why Alissa affected me this way, I thought back to Sergei’s teasing words, that Michelle could be my daughter. It was unlikely, but what if it was true? I already felt like I had a connection to this woman, and it was something that I wanted to explore further. But it would have to wait until her daughter was safely back in her arms.