Chapter Twenty-Three

In the living room, an ambiance of organized chaos reigns supreme.

Papers, integral to an intricate plan, are scattered across the floor like a mosaic of thoughts waiting to be connected.

The room, bathed in the soft glow of dimmed lights, exudes an air of intense focus, which is exactly what Grazia and I have shared this evening.

The hardwood floor, usually pristine, is now a canvas of ideas sprawled out in disarray.

Sheets of paper overlap, creating a patchwork of diagrams, charts, and meticulous notes.

We have shared two bottles of wine already, although half of one is spilled all over the rug.

Grazia knocked it over and was so upset, thinking I would be angry with her. I told her it was just a rug and there are plenty more where it came from.

She's still very much on edge, and I am hoping to calm her down, get her to trust me, and know that she is here as a guest now, since her brothers don't want to come and get her anymore.

There's no solid plan about what to do with her, where to send her, or how much longer to keep her here.

I could send her home now, but that doesn't send a good message to her brothers. If I send her somewhere else, I can't keep an eye on her and make sure she's safe.

Plus, it might start an all-out war between the Baldinis and my family if they think that the reason she is gone is because I've hurt her.

For now, the safest thing is to keep her here and figure out what to do with her later.

I like the activities that we've been taking part in together, but I'm not sure that all of the sex we are sharing is giving Grazia the best message.

I look back at the piece of paper in front of me, realizing that I'm getting distracted and worrying about things that I don't need to worry about just yet.

I watch Grazia's lips moving as she's describing her ideas.

We've spent several hours going over the plan I came up with, but when she gets an idea, she has this odd little move she does with her bottom lip.

It's both alluring and fascinating, and the later it gets, and the more I drink, the more I find myself staring at it.

"My darling Grazia you are a genius." I kiss her lips and she smiles.

This is exactly why I feel like this woman could be my perfect match. As innocent as her eyes look, she's got a fire behind them.

And her mind has been shaped watching her family do business for her entire life.

She might not need to deal with any of the dirty work, but she's showing me now that she would be fully capable if she needed to.

We've spoken a lot about her grandmother, who was a strong and powerful woman, and I can see that this has been passed on to Grazia.

This new plan was brilliant before I came here, but she has only helped me make it better by closing up loopholes and creating contingency plans in case things don't go to plan.

I can't help but think about how my planning would have gone if she wasn't here to help.

I've always prided myself on my plans being watertight, but maybe they never really were.

Maybe I've just been lucky.

"You"ve got a flair for this, Grazia," I admit, genuinely impressed. "I didn't realize how well we complement each other in the business arena." I look down at the plans, my handwriting next to hers, and then back up to her.

Her laughter fills the room, a sound that brings positivity and joy to the atmosphere. "Maybe we"ve been too focused on what could tear us apart instead of what could bring us together."

I agree with her and fetch us more wine.

I can't tell how much we've had, but there's been food consumed alongside it so neither of us is very drunk.

And the ideas are flowing with the alcohol, so I'm all for drinking some more.

Grazia has enjoyed some wine but is not drinking as fast as she was last night, which I am glad about.

We continue to go over the plan and lay out a business proposal for the following year—because having trade routes is useless if you don't know what to do with them.

While we go over the plan, I think about Carlos. He's my only family, and this new deal is going to run a lot of his men off the road.

He might eventually forgive me for it, but it will take a while. I have to be sure, before I make my first move, that I am willing to give up the only family I have, just for money.

If you had asked me that question a couple of weeks ago, I would have said I was, no question.

But having Grazia here has shown me a different side of life, and taught me that I don't necessarily need to be a cold and heartless person to become a success.

Although with everything on the line now, I'm not about to become a big softy either.

I will hold on to my territories, and make sure that no one comes to take them from me.

I'm not sure how Grazia is still going. She's been awake all night and she looks like this is just a normal day for her.

I feel like a ghost myself, but I am now so used to not getting any sleep that it doesn't really bother me anymore.

Grazia, on the other hand, I know she needs to sleep, but she enjoys pushing herself a little. She's still up with me, even though it'll be morning in a very short time.

It's been a long night of working and in the midst of hardly any sleep, I feel my mind gaining some clarity in the bigger picture.

I have always been aware that my life is a dangerous one, but as I'm making these plans, I can see where the danger is magnified.

And who could get hurt if they were to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Looking at Grazia, after creating this plan and now knowing what it's going to take to make this work, it's clear that I can't bring her into the middle of any of it.

She wants to be involved, but it's just too much to ask of her. She should be safely protected by her mafia family, in her home in the States.

Here in Mexico, she has no safety, and it's not fair for me to make that even worse for her by involving her in my risky affairs.

I also need to stop sleeping with her and showing her affection, because every time we end up naked in bed together, the lines become even more blurred.

The more attached she gets to me, the harder it's going to be to keep her at a distance from the danger.

It won't be easy to turn her down, especially when she now knows exactly how to get me hard, but I'm not a child anymore. I can control my urges for a few more months.

I have no choice, because if I don't, and Grazia gets hurt, I know that I will feel guilty, and it will fuck with my future plans.

All I am after now is a life that fits what I know I deserve. If I need to make hard decisions now for an easier life later, then that is what I'm going to do.

It might make me the bad guy, but that's not something I'm unfamiliar with being accused of.

At least this time, it will be for a good reason and I will know that I've done the right thing.

And if she doesn't understand it now, then I'll have to trust that she will later on. That she will see it wasn't me being an asshole, but me trying to keep her safe.

The stubborn nature she hides inside of her might not allow her to say thank you for any of that, but I don't need recognition or praise.

My mind made up, I go back to looking over my plans.

I tap my fingers in time with the song that Grazia has put on, and add in the smaller details that I might need to remember.