Chapter 29

29

ARIA

T he knock on my door came just as I was trying to process the events of the night. My dragon, still alert from the attack, perked up at the sound. I knew who it was before I even opened the door. Chris would've heard about the attack, word spread quick in these halls.

As I opened the door, the sight of his anxious face made my heart clench with guilt. His eyes, usually warm and inviting, were clouded with concern and a hint of hurt that I knew I had caused.

"Aria, are you okay? I heard about the attack. Damn vampires, bloodsucking fucks," Chris said, his voice strained as his eyes scanned me for any signs of injury. His hands twitched at his sides, as if fighting the urge to pull me into a protective embrace.

I nodded, forcing a small smile that felt brittle on my face. "I'm fine, Chris. Really. My dragon... it protected me." As if on cue, my little defender chirped softly from its perch on my bed.

Relief flooded Chris's features, his shoulders sagging slightly as the tension left them. But the reprieve was short-lived. I could see the lingering hurt in his eyes, the questions that burned behind them. The hurt I had caused. The questions I wasn't sure I could answer.

"I'm glad you're safe," he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. Then, with a deep breath, as if steeling himself, he added, "But Aria, about Ossian..."

The name hung in the air between us. I felt my cheeks flush, memories of my encounter with the vampire flashing unbidden through my mind. The guilt intensified, settling in my stomach like a lead weight.

I took a deep breath, knowing this conversation was inevitable but dreading it all the same. "Chris, I... I need to explain. Ossian asked for my help. He was hurt, and I wanted to help him, considering everything we're going through. It just... took its own turn. I didn't know feeding could cause that…"

The words sounded hollow even to my own ears. How could I explain the intensity of what I'd felt, the connection that had sparked between Ossian and me? How could I make Chris understand when I barely understood it myself?

Chris's brow furrowed, confusion and pain warring in his expression. His next words came out in a rush, as if he couldn't hold them back any longer. "I don't understand, Aria. The mate bond... it can't be wrong. Normally, when a wolf finds their mate, the other person doesn't feel anything for anyone else. It's just... us. It's supposed to be just us."

The raw emotion in his voice made my heart ache. I wanted to reassure him, to tell him that what we had was special and unique. But I couldn't lie. Not to him, and not to myself. The truth was, my feelings were a tangled mess that I couldn't begin to unravel.

"Maybe it's because I'm human," I suggested weakly, grasping at straws. "Maybe the rules are different for me. I don't... I don't know how any of this is supposed to work."

Chris's eyes narrowed slightly. His voice was low, almost pained when he spoke again. "You didn't say you felt nothing for Ossian."

It wasn't a question. The realization in his tone made me flinch. I looked away, unable to meet his gaze, feeling like the worst kind of person. Our dragons, sensing the tension, were watching us intently. My little one chirped softly, as if trying to offer comfort.

"Aria," Chris said, drawing my attention back to him. His voice was gentle but insistent. "Do you... do you want to be my mate?"

The question caught me off guard, making my breath catch in my throat. It was so direct, so full of hope and fear and longing. "How could I know that?" I asked, my voice tinged with frustration and a hint of panic. "Isn't it a sealed deal, like marriage or something? How can I make that kind of decision when everything is so... so crazy?"

He nodded solemnly, his eyes never leaving mine. "It is. Once the bond is completed, it's for life. It's the most sacred thing for a werewolf."

The weight of his words settled over me like a heavy blanket, threatening to suffocate me. The enormity of what he was asking – what he was offering – was almost too much to comprehend.

"Chris, that's... that's too much to think about right now," I said, my voice shaking slightly. "With everything that's going on, the end of the world stuff... How can I even consider something so permanent when I don't know if we'll survive the Void?"

"I know," he said, his voice gentle but tinged with urgency. "But Aria, that's exactly why we need to think about it. If the world does end, if we fail... I want to have been with my mate. To have experienced that bond fully. Don't you want that? To know that kind of love, that kind of connection, even if it's just for a little while?"

His words painted a picture of a love so deep, so all-encompassing, that it made my heart ache with longing. The thought of facing the end without having lived fully, without having loved completely, was a terrifying one. But the idea of committing myself so absolutely, especially when my heart was so conflicted, was equally daunting.

"I understand that," I said softly, trying to keep the tremor out of my voice. "I do, Chris. But I'm just not comfortable with that right now. It's all so much, so fast. I need time to figure things out."

Disappointment flashed across his face, quickly replaced by determination. He nodded, respect in his posture even as pain lingered in his eyes. "Okay," he said. Then, before I could react, he leaned in and kissed me.

The kiss was gentle yet passionate, full of longing and hope and a hint of desperation. It spoke of promises and possibilities, of a future that could be ours if only I'd reach out and grasp it. When he pulled away, he sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes searching mine.

"You didn't pull away," he said, a note of wonder in his voice. "You feel something. I know you do. I'm holding onto that, Aria. I don't want to throw this away. What we have... it's special. It's rare. Even if you're not ready to complete the bond, please don't give up on us."

I touched my lips, still tingling from the kiss. My emotions were a whirlwind, making it hard to think clearly. Part of me wanted to throw caution to the wind, to embrace the certainty and passion Chris was offering. But another part held back, thinking of Ossian, of the spark I'd felt with him. He'd wanted to end it, shut down whatever had flourished, but then he'd been there right after the attack, appearing almost instantly, ready to handle Marcus.

Chris stood, his tall frame casting a shadow in the dim light of my room.

"I want to be with you, Aria," he said, his voice full of determination and a vulnerability that tugged at my heart. "If you choose me, I swear I'll make you happier than you could ever imagine. I'll work my ass off every day to prove it to you. We'll face whatever comes together – the Void, the dragons, all of it. Just... just don't close the door on us. Please."

His words touched something deep inside me, a part that longed for the certainty and devotion he was offering. But another part, the part that still felt drawn to Ossian, that still craved independence and choice, held me back from fully embracing his promise.

I remained quiet, torn between the warmth of Chris's affection and the complexity of my own feelings. How could I choose when I wasn't even sure what I wanted?

Sensing my internal struggle, Chris gave me a sad smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm not giving up, Aria," he said softly. "But I'll give you the space you need. Just... think about what I said, okay?"

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Chris turned to leave, pausing at the doorway to look back at me one last time. "Goodnight, Aria," he said softly. "Sweet dreams."

As the door closed behind him and his dragon, I sank onto my bed, my mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. My dragon chirped softly, nuzzling against my hand in a gesture of comfort. I stroked its scales absently, finding solace in its unwavering presence.

"What am I going to do?" I whispered to my little companion. "How can I choose when I'm not even sure what I want? When I'm not even sure who I am anymore?"

The dragon tilted its head, its purple eyes soft. But of course, it couldn't provide the answers I so desperately sought. This was a decision I would have to make on my own.

I lay back on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Chris's words echoed in my mind, intermingling with memories of Ossian's touch, of the intensity I'd felt when he'd fed from me. And underneath it all was the ever-present awareness of the larger conflict we were facing – the Void, the fate of two worlds hanging in the balance.

How could I focus on matters of the heart when the fate of everything we knew was at stake? But then again, if we were facing the potential end of everything, didn't that make these connections, these feelings, all the more precious?

I closed my eyes, willing sleep to come, knowing it would likely elude me. Tomorrow would bring new challenges, new decisions to make. But for now, I allowed myself to drift in a sea of uncertainty, my thoughts a confusing mix of werewolves, vampires, and the comforting presence of my ever-loyal dragon.

I finally succumbed to exhaustion, my dragon curled protectively at my side. Tomorrow was another day, another chance to figure out my place in this world of magic and destiny. And maybe, just maybe, I'd find a way to reconcile the conflicting desires of my heart without losing myself in the process.