Chapter Six

Tim

Thank rhubarb!

I took a long, deep breath. If Maxi baby had finally accepted I was his only stalk, I was gonna light a candle every day to the great god of rhubarb, Great Rhu himself, for the rest of my life. I’d spent the past two days buried in my bed of soil singing sweet, stalky music to my mate. I’d left Crimson to warn the town to block me unless they wanted their fuzzy little ears to bleed. But I’d began to think Maximus would never give in, and things started to get time sensitive. My puns were going to run out and what would I do then?

So, what I hadn’t appreciated, being a ‘whip their cream and send em on their way’ kind of stalk, was that mates were different from hook-ups. Of course, I was horny for my Maximus. I wanted to share my custard with him. But Crimson pointed out that if we didn’t make sweet dessert and soon, that’s what I’d end up in the pudding. I’d go into the c-r-u-m-b-l-e pan.

Rejected mates wilt forever!

But I couldn’t tell him. My mate had to voluntarily take me to his bed, or table, or wall—I wasn’t fussy—himself. After two days, I was starting to lose hope that my sweet rhubarb pie would understand.

Skipping into the house, I avoided everyone, sprinkling dirt as I headed to the shower, giddier than a rhubarb at harvest time. My mate didn’t need to see me covered in dirt from head to foot.

Glass glowered at me as I bounced out of the shower, dripping water to grab a towel now I was clean… everywhere.

“Good, you’ve finally shut up.”

I opened my mouth.

“If you sing one more song with rhubarb, I’m shoving you in the pan myself.”

I shut my mouth with a snap.

He stalked off, cursing under his breath.

“It’s the power of custard,” I sang, then snickered as Glass stiffened and spun on his heel to face me. “You can’t pan me. You only said I couldn’t say rhubarb.”

“I hate you,” he muttered with brotherly affection. Or I believed that’s what it was. I could never quite tell, given how grumpy he always was.

“Love you too, bro,” I cooed. I blew him a kiss and hurried off.

I had a strong alpha mate, and I needed his hands all over my fuzzy stalk. It was that or bust out of my skin. No one wanted their stringy bits hanging out.

Across town in record time, I stood once more outside the shabby door. I took a deep breath and smoothed down my ‘Rhubarb is for life, not just for Christmas’ t-shirt, and knocked on the door.

“Your disco stalker is here,” someone bellowed inside.

“Yes, thanks, Burke. I’ve worked that out,” came the grumbled response.

I grinned, putting on my best ‘I’m sexy and I know it’ smirk.

Maxi sounded very grumpy as he clumped toward the door. He flung it open so hard it nearly landed in the garden.

“Maxi! My mate!” I held out my arms, ready to leap into his arms and make his cream go jiggy jiggy with my custard.

Oooh, we could make trifle!

Maxi tossed his head, his mane flying in a wave, as if he were in a shampoo advert. I wanted to put my hands all over it. “Humph.”

He fled down the hall, leaving me on the doorstep facing two guys who were barely able to contain their laughter.

“Ignore him,” the short guy said.

Wow, he was shorter than me, but those shoulders were in different counties! And who was this other dude?

Oh yeah, he was the one with pink hair. He wasn’t that tall either. I was really liking this change of not being the shortest. I was so used to being the shortest stalk in the patch.

“Are you lions too?” I asked, giving them my best friendly smile.

“I’m Burke, I’m a bull,” the short, wide one said.

“Aren’t bulls like huge?” I said, then caught his angry expression. He’s a bull, Tim. Bulls are angry. “Not that you aren’t broad, I mean wide…”

They waited for me to quit digging the hole a rhubarb could get lost in and at the same time I noticed Maximus wasn’t coming to help me, although he had to hear me unwittingly insulting his family.

Could a rhubarb dig itself into a bigger hole?

The pink-haired guy laid an arm around Burke’s shoulders. “He’s a mini bull. I’m Randy, I’m a ram.”

“Are you pink all over?” I asked curiously, because that hair didn’t look as if it came out of a bottle.

Randy grinned at me. “All the way down. Want me to show you?”

“No!” Maximus stomped back and grabbed my wrist, but although his fingers clenched tightly, they didn’t dig in.

How sweet.

Give over.

Okay, how about… finally! Action time! I wiggled in anticipation, offering him my sexy smirk one more time, hoping for a better reaction this time.

“You’re not showing him anything. Tim is here to visit with me.” He hauled me toward the kitchen.

I gave a helpless wave to Burke and Randy, who waved back and vanished into another room, laughing their asses off.

“Do you want tea?” Maximus growled, all snappy lion teeth.

Was that a lion euphemism for let’s get naked? Because yes, yes! Naked now! My dick woke up, ready to do its thing, baby.

“Sure,” I agreed, poised to strip off my T-shirt.

Then Maximus opened the ancient refrigerator and pulled out a jug.

“What’s that?” I asked, staring at the brown liquid.

He looked confused and peered into the jug as if he needed to check the contents. “Iced tea.”

“Tea?”

“You said you wanted tea.”

I sat down in a wooden chair, which creaked alarmingly. “I thought it was a lion code thing for fucking.”

Maximus stared at me as if I’d grown two heads. “You think lions fuck with tea?”

Oh, Great Rhu. You never told me finding a mate was going to be this complicated. Our lessons told us it was all fuzzy stalks and heavy breathing from the second mates locked eyes on each other. My dick retreated, sulking at the lack of action.

“I thought you invited me over to, you know, fuck.” I pointed to the sudden tent in his sweats at my suggestion. “Want me to climb your stalk? I’m more than willing.” I didn’t think it would harm to try one last time to give off the sexy that was all me.

“I thought we could drink tea and get to know each other,” Maximus said, his gaze dipping to my mouth.

I increased the wattage of my rhubarbness. I mean, who could resist that?

“I could drink your cream and we could do the ‘getting to know each other’ that way,” I suggested, bouncing to my feet. Two steps and I’d be in his arms.

Maximus shook his head, taking a step away from me. “No.”

Huh? Now I was confused, I’d given him all my best come hither looks, the ones I practiced in the bathroom mirror. Was a mate immune to my rhubarb charm? “What did you invite me over for?”

“To stop the endless rhubarb rave in my head,” he said dryly. “And to get to know you. I want to learn all about my mate.” He pointed at the jug. “Its excellent tea. I made it myself.”

Okay, if we didn’t start making rhubarb fizz soon, I was going to have to bring in the big guns. Maybe he’d listen to Crimson. As long as he didn’t mention the c-r-u-m-b-l-e, they’d be fine.

Then my eyes were like Crimson’s had been days earlier, all bulgy as my gaze landed on the kitchen counter and no kidding, my stomach did a slow roll.

“What the heck did you do?” I rasped in horror.