Chapter Two

Tim

Twirlie, get your damn hairs out of my face!

Quit wriggling, Twirlie.

Geez, it’s bad enough that the monster wants to eat us, without getting all hot for him.

I’m not hot for him, and don’t call me Twirlie.

Seriously, my name was Tim Early. Mom, whom I adored, had stupidly decided to give me the nickname Twirlie, just because I wiggled a lot. I adored her despite her weird choice in nicknames.

My hook-ups called me Twirlie too, but that’s because of how versatile another part of my anatomy was. I was so tempted to twirl it at the spicy hot newcomer I’d heard about but hadn’t yet met.

I tried to keep still while Crimson clutched at us to protect us from the monster. I knew where I wanted to be, and it wasn’t pressed against my alpha’s boobs. As soft as they were, I much preferred a harder, muscled surface.

Seriously Twirlie, why do you have to think about you-know-what when we can hear your damn thoughts?

The hot, huge monster with a strawberry blond mane. Yummy. I wanted to tangle my human fingers in it. The size of his hands and his hard, muscular chest…please let him be that size all over. I squeaked aloud at the thought, forgetting myself for a moment.

Shhh, Red, a beta and my brother, hissed . He’ll hear you.

Did I care? All I wanted was the monster’s large hands enfolding my furry shaft.

If you’re getting erect, I’m feeding you to the pan. Glass, my oldest brother, who could be a pain in my rhubarb, freaking growled the warning at me.

I ignored him. Just because he was older than me and an alpha didn’t mean he was the boss of me.

And it wasn’t like Glass hadn’t threatened me with the pan before.

Spoilsport , I fired back

There was a large pan on the stove Mom told us she would use to make rhubarb desserts out of naughty young stalks. Like she ever would. Rhubarb shifters were rare and precious. Not all of us were destined to be man and stalk.

Only Crimson knew which sprout had a human inside and which stalks were destined for the market. We were lucky to have Crimson. The previous alpha hadn’t been so discerning, and many young Valentine shifters had been lost to the c-r-u-m-b-l-e.

We never said that word aloud in Valentine Growville. Crimson might have helped the monster if he hadn’t mentioned that word.

C-r-u-m-b-l-e.

I shuddered.

No, really. It was a rookie mistake in our town. Someone needed to tell them.

Which was why the monster stomped out of the shop, sans rhubarb. The little monster with him looked very downcast. He was quite sweet, really, with pink hair. Not my type, of course. I liked my humans built like monster man.

Once they were out of sight, we shifted, taking a deep breath as we adjusted to our human form. Crimson, who had learned to be fast as lightning around visitors, had swept our clothes under the counter. Seeing the coast was clear, she handed them over and we all quickly dressed, used to seeing each other naked by now.

Crimson tutted at me, but then I was used to it and grinned back cheekily. “What did I tell you about wriggling in front of monsters?”

“But he was so hot, Crimson!”

She tutted again, and I just gave her a cheeky grin.

Glass, of course, acted like an ass, bossing us all around as soon as he was dressed. I hated that as an alpha he could shift and go straight into asshole mode, whereas it took me, an omega, a minute to catch up, limbs, brain, dick. Yup, everything was in the right place.

You think I’m joking? Have you ever seen a part-rhubarb, part-human shifter, with his dick growing out of his head? Never shift when you sneeze. That was my motto. It had worked so far.

‘I’m going now, Crimson,” I said, moving away from the counter. “I need to get home and help Mom with the dinner.”

Everyone stopped talking and stared at me. Then they burst out laughing.

“Good one, Twirlie,” Red hooted, slapping me on the back so hard I stumbled.

‘Don’t bruise the fruit,” I grumbled, recovering my balance and shoving Red away.

I might have known they wouldn’t believe me. Like I’d ever cooked in my life. I was a shifter. I could eat and drink like a human, but usually I bedded down in the dirt at night and took my nutrients that way.

“Whatever.” I waved a hand. “Later.”

I sauntered out, hoping to see Valentine’s newest residents, one of them at least, but I was too late. I was sure that was their taillights in the distance. But now I had a good idea which house my monster had moved into.

I sighed, feeling more than a little frustrated for some reason. It wasn’t like our Main Street was huge, but I hoped at least one of the six stores we kept for human visitors would have caught their attention. I scanned them, getting more deflated. Not even Barb Roo’s Boutique for the Tall and Slender had attracted their attention. I’d picked up a passel of men outside Barb’s shop. It was my number one hook-up site. None of them were brave enough to go in.

If Barb’s store wasn’t going to capture the monster, how could I meet him?

I slapped my forehead. An idea struck me so hard it could have shaved off all my little hairs in the middle of the street.

“I’m a genius,” I said out loud.

No one contradicted me. It must be true.

Looking around, I saw the street was still empty. I hurried to the end where the warehouses were situated. I snuck into the nearest one and picked up a sack, staggering as I heaved it over my shoulder. Hopefully, no one from the town would notice. Then I whistled as I walked along the street in the direction of the large rental property on the edge of town. It was the largest house in Valentine Growville.

I stood outside the door with the cracked and peeling paintwork. Chin up, Twirlie, he’s all yours .

I wiggled my hips to boost my confidence and knocked hard.

The monster opened the door, his shaggy hair brushing his shoulders, wearing just a pair of sweats, riding low on his perfect hips.

Oh my. I wanted to drop to my knees and lick that treasure trail all the way down. My mouth went dry. My slick, on the other hand… damn, that hadn’t happened before. I squeezed my legs tightly together before I went full dessert on him.

I gave him my brightest smile. “Hi, my name is Tim. I’m a present for you…” I coughed, warning myself, keep it together. “I mean, I have a present… a welcome gift sort of thing.”

“Uh, thank you. I’m… uh… Maximus.” He looked adorably confused as he stared at the sack, while all I could think about was wanting to climb him like a rhubarb stalk. “What is it?”

“Rhubarb.”

He stepped back, looking panicked, pushing away my gift. Then he peered out and looked around. “She’s not here, is she? Is this some sort of hazing test you do to newbies in town? Is the rhubarb poisoned?”

Geez, Crimson had done a number on him. She would be so proud when I told her.

As I waited for my monster to ramble out of breath, I put the rhubarb down. The sack was heavy for a young stalk. I leaned against the door. He was still going.

“We just want to live here. We didn’t want to upset any locals.”

I winked at him. You don’t upset me, honey.

He quit rambling. Thank rhubarb for that. Perhaps we could get down to whipping that sundae.

He leaned forward and peered at me. “You didn’t say that out loud.”

“Say what?”

He tapped his forehead. “You said ‘you don’t upset me, honey.’”

I shook my head. “You must be mistaken.” But because I was a smartass, I decided to play with him. Wanna fuck?

The monster blinked. “Now? Here? We’ve only just met. Wait, is this another test?”

I stared at him, horrified. “You couldn’t have heard me! Only mates can hear each other and you’re not a—”