8. Dani

8

Dani

" W hy are you looking at me like that?" As I sit on my big bus, I glance at Conner in the through my peripheral vision on the right. He's in the first seat by the door, which is Trixie's usual seat. Good thing I'm not picking her up today, or she'd probably bark her face off at him until he moved.

A cute grin curls up his lips as it taunts the well-sated but still hungry spot between my legs. "Like what?"

"I don't know, like you're amused by something."

"Maybe I'm just in a good mood from last night."

Now it's my turn to grin as I think about all the sex we had, last night and again this morning. I'm almost afraid to look down because I think there might be flames between my legs. We were definitely burning it up between the sheets, having sex like we'd discovered something no one else in the world knew about.

It was crazy, fun and I'm far too happy that we get to do it again. I know what I'm asking of him is a bit crazy, but he's going to be the best dad out there, and when he finds true love and gets married and has a family of his own, I know he'll still be the best daddy to our child—and to his own. But thinking about him being married leaves a hollow in the pit of my stomach. It's not like we can ever be more. He loves me like a best friend. Now, however, we're best friends with benefits.

"So that's it?" I ask and adjust the rearview mirror to see him better. "You're in a good mood because we had sex."

"Yeah, and you just look so damn cute driving this big-ass bus. It's kind of making me hard."

I laugh at his foolishness. "I think I handle big things just fine." As soon as the words leave my mouth, Conner bursts out laughing and so do I. I have no idea where the hell that even came from. I don't normally make jokes, and especially not sexual ones. Maybe all that sex dislodged something in my brain.

He grabs the pole and shifts in his seat, like he might actually be sporting a boner. "Who are you and what have you done with my Dani?"

My Dani.

It's insane how much I like when he says things like that. Like when I fed him the mozzarella stick the night at the pub after the big win and he said at least someone loves me . I have no idea why I have this deep need to feel important. It's one of the reasons I started dating Alec. To have a guy like that pay attention to me was such a huge ego boost for a girl who had no game and no boyfriends up to that point in life.

"I have to pick up Buster, and I always pick the dogs up in the bus."

"It's one dog, we could have taken the car."

"No, he's used to this and he's under enough stress as it is, so I want to make sure he's as comfortable as can be. Plus, he's a St. Bernard coming in at around one hundred and fifty pounds."

"That's a big boy."

"That he is," I agree, although I'm not exactly talking about Buster. I really have no idea what's come over me lately. Must be from the hormone injections.

Grinning back, Conner shakes his head and smiles at me. "You're going to be a great mom." My heart flutters at the thought and I almost want to make a quick stop at the drug store to pick up a pregnancy test, but it's far too soon, and maybe there's a part of me that doesn't want to know. If I don't know, we can keep on having sex. While that's good for my libido, I'm honestly not sure how great that is for my heart. I can't get involved emotionally with Conner. He told me long ago, with zero words, that we—us—were never going to happen.

"Wait," he begins. "You love dogs, and take care of everyone else's dog, but you don't have one. I never thought about that before."

"Yeah." I flick on my signal and take a left at the lights.

"Want to elaborate?"

I shrug. "When Alec and I got married, and I got pregnant, I really wanted a dog but he didn't want one."

His muscles tighten and he gives me a look that suggests I have no idea who his brother is. He could be right. There were times in our marriage I wondered who he was too…and wondered where he was when he came home late, or didn't come home at all.

"You could get one now."

"I'm going to. Just not yet." I give him a fast glance and crinkle my nose.

"Why not?"

"It's just…do you remember Bear?"

He grins. "Yeah, I loved Bear."

Unfortunately, he only knew my chihuahua for one year. We moved to Boston when I was sixteen and Bear died the next year. It was so damn hard, but Conner was there to help me get through it, just like he was there when we lost Alec. Once again my stomach cramps, guilt making it tight. He's adamant that he wants to be around me, likes hanging out, but there is still a part of me that thinks I'm holding him back.

"Bear was the best."

I smile, my thoughts going back to my dog. He really was the best, and so protective of me. He might have been small, but he was mighty, and I think the only guy he liked was Conner. A couple of times when Alec came to the house to find his brother, Bear nearly took out his ankles.

"Mom and Dad got Bear when they were pregnant with me. Bear and I grew up together. He was my best friend in the whole world." When Conner pouts, I laugh. "Besides you, of course. But Bear was always there for me. We moved a lot because of Dad's career, and making friends was never easy."

"A chihuahua named Bear. It was fitting considering he was small but fierce." He toys with his phone in his hand when it lights up, but he doesn't check the message. "You want to wait until you're pregnant."

"I kind of do."

"That makes sense. You want another chihuahua?"

"Actually, no. I've been thinking about getting a big dog this time. I just haven't made up my mind yet."

"A baby and a dog at the same time. Here I thought I was the masochist."

"What?"

He gulps. "Oh, nothing. It's just going to be a lot of work."

I flick on my signal and ease my bus into the parking lot at the vet. Conner is right, it is a big bus, but I've gotten used to driving it. "I'll just be a minute." I open the door, and Conner stands.

"I'm coming." I shrug and he continues, "What if you have to lift him?"

I feign offense. "Are you saying I'm weak or something?"

"Nope, but if you're pregnant, I don't want you lifting heavy things. We are not taking any chances, and if you fight me on this, no more cock for you."

I laugh at that. "You're going to hold out on me?"

He lifts his chin. "Maybe."

"That means no sex for you too right. You do understand that?"

His shoulders slump. "Oh yeah…"

He looks so adorable, I can't help but cup his cheeks and kiss him. Surprise moves over his face, and I quickly say, "Practice."

"Right." He gives a curt nod. "Anyway, no lifting. Okay?"

I'm about to protest, but he's so damn serious, I just go with it. Clearly, he's going to be very overprotective and I secretly like that. In my marriage, I did everything, from cooking and cleaning, to lifting, even when I was pregnant. It was the life I chose, and I'm not going to think anything bad about my marriage. All I'm saying is if I ever get married again, I'd want things to be different. Not that I'm ever getting married again. And why is it you're never marrying again, Dani? I exit the bus and turn to find Conner behind me. My heart skips a beat, because yeah, the guy behind me could be the very reason I'll stay single for the rest of my life.

Maybe I should put an end to this baby-making plan right now.

He angles his head and he must misread whatever it is I'm showcasing on my face, because he says, "I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He puts his hand on the small of my back and guides me toward the building. I like his touch so much, the caring way he holds me, that even if I wanted to end this—knowing it was for the best—I'm not sure I have the strength to do it.

We make our way inside, and the receptionist gives me a big smile, but that smile turns to shock and excitement as her gaze strays to Conner.

She stares, her mouth open and then she finally blurts out. "You're Conner Birch."

He laughs and I try not to let jealousy invade my body. I'm used to women throwing themselves at this man, and why wouldn't they. It's probably all the hormones making me feel more protective. Or maybe it's because he was inside me last night and this morning. Oh boy. Once again, I question if we should be doing this or not.

"Yes. Dani and I are here to pick up Buster."

"Right, of course." She stands so fast her chair spins backward and a few files on the desk fall to the floor. She runs to the back office, and a giggle spills from her throat. I note the way Conner frowns.

I put my hand on his arm and he flinches. Whoa. I tug it away fast. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He takes my hand and gives it an apologetic squeeze. Clearly, he wasn't himself there for a moment. "Sorry, I was uh, a million miles away for a second there."

I take in the deep lines on his forehead, the way he's avoiding my gaze. "Do you know her?"

"No, I don't." He scratches his head like he's remembering something. "Forgot to wear my ballcap."

He always wears his ballcap when he doesn't want to be recognized. There seems to be something else going on with him at the moment though, something he has no intention of telling me, and I'm not about to ask if he doesn't want to share. Here I thought we didn't have secrets. Maybe that's not true at all.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts at the sound of Buster barking. He comes from the back room, his tail wagging madly. "Buster," I call out and drop to my knees. He comes barreling toward me, drool spilling the whole way. "How are you feeling, boy?"

The vet comes out behind him. "He's great now. He had some swelling in his jaw and under his eyes. The tooth was pretty infected. No toys or dental chews for a couple of days and soft foods only."

"Ice cream?" Conner asks and I turn and smile at him.

"For the dog or you?" the vet asks, and then her eyes go wide. "You're Conner Birch."

He grins and nods. "That's me, and I was thinking for both of us."

Her demeanor changes, her professionalism morphing into flirtation. "I'm a fan."

"Kat, this is Conner. Conner, this is Kat. Kat takes great care of my dogs. I don't know what I'd do without her."

Kat's eyes narrow, her gaze going from Conner, to me, back to Conner. There's confusion in her eyes, and I get it. What would a guy like Conner be doing with a dog caregiver, plain Jane like me?

"Are you two…I didn't know."

"No, no," I correct quickly as the receptionist giggles nervously again, and Conner's gaze strays her way. "We're friends. We go way back. I was actually married to Conner's brother."

"Oh yes, that explains it," Kat responds, a new kind of interest in her eyes. What the hell? That explains it? I get it that guys like Conner don't date girls like me, but that's just rude. But more importantly, can the man go nowhere without being hit on? Maybe I should have told her we're more than friends. But one, I'm not that brazen, and two I don't want to make things uncomfortable for Conner.

"In that case." She takes off her gloves and holds a hand out. Conner takes it in his palm. "I'm off at three if you want to get that ice cream."

My head rears back, and I push to my feet as she aims a come-hither smile Conner's way. Wow, brazen. Which is fine. I'm not jealous. Much. Seriously though, I wish I had her confidence. Maybe if I looked like her. Tall, blonde, completely put together, I'd be bold too.

It was you who was in Conner's bed last night, not Kat.

Yeah, but only because he's trying to put a baby in me.

Conner gives an easy laugh. "Actually," he begins and puts an arm around me. "We're more than friends. Dani's just so used to telling people she used to be married to my brother, it seems to slip out easily now." He kisses the side of my head. "When the truth is, we're more than friends." When Kat's eyes go wide, he pulls me in tighter. "In fact, we're friends with benefits." He wags his brows. "How lucky am I, huh?"

Oh. My. God.

My gaze flies to Conner's and I take in the mischievous grin on his face. Damned if he doesn't look proud of himself. I gulp, and nearly swallow my tongue as his words once again race around inside my brain. What the hell is he doing? I wanted to keep this thing between us a secret and then he goes and says we're friends with benefits.

"Anyway, we should get Buster to the park for ice cream," he says and Kat hands me a pamphlet.

"All his instructions are in here," she explains, returning to professional mode.

"Thanks," I manage to get out. We walk outside, and I turn to Conner. "What the hell was that, Conner?" I glare at him, but there's a little bubble of happiness inside of me. I love the protective way he acted.

"What, I didn't say anything that wasn't true?"

I glance over my shoulder to make sure she's not at the door listening. "Now she thinks…we're…"

"We are, Dani." He shrugs. "I've given this some thought, and soon enough, you're going to have to explain why you're pregnant, so maybe we should pretend to be dating. It might make the whole explanation thing simpler and we have that whole no waving your cat all over the place deal, and I don't always enjoy being hit on, you know. Especially when I'm out with you."

"What does that mean?" Why do women just assume we're not an item? I sigh, my stomach turning. What am I even thinking? Of course, they do. I stick out like a sore thumb in his crowd.

"She was rude, Dani. Which is why I went for the shock value. Friends with benefits. Did you see her face?" He laughs and it wraps around me and squeezes so tightly—in a nice way.

"Yeah, but I told her we weren't together. That's why she asked you out and I sounded like a liar."

"I covered it well." He bends and starts patting Buster, and jumps back up when Buster shakes his head, getting drool all over his clothes.

"I don't know about that."

"Look," he begins, and faces me, putting his hands on my shoulders. "We're going to have to explain it when you get pregnant. This way, we can pretend to be in a relationship and stage a breakup."

"What, like we're a romantic comedy or something?"

"Or something."

Did Kat think a girl like me with a guy like him could be nothing more than a comedy? I guess her response as to why we were together was rude. "There was a moment when I admired her." He arches a brow. "She's a woman who goes for what she wants and I admire boldness."

"Why admire her for that? You're a woman who goes for what she wants too. You're bold as fuck, Dani," he says matter-of-factly.

"Hardly."

He snorts out a laugh, puts an arm around me and drags me to him. He dips his head and his mouth is right there. All I have to do is go up on my toes and kiss him if I want to. But I don't have to do that, because he bends down farther and presses his mouth to mine and whispers, "Did you not ask me to put a baby in you? That's pretty fucking bold, babe."

Babe…God, when he calls me that. But seriously, I feel like he's asking me a question here, wanting clarification on what we're going to tell people.

"You're saying you want to go cash in on some benefits," I ask, needing a moment to think about things. We have his family, my family, and our friends to consider here. I don't want to lie to them but it sure would be easier to explain down the road.

"Yeah."

"Let's drop Buster off and head home." He holds his arms out, and shakes off the drool.

"I thought you wanted ice cream."

He makes a disgusted face. "I'm kind of wet."

Oh, he's not the only one. I decide to keep that to myself.

"I need to get out of these clothes," he informs me and I kind of like the idea of that, but poor Buster needs a treat. Conner leans in, and lightly swipes his tongue over my bottom lip. "We'll grab Buster a treat first, but no worries, babe." He wags his eyebrows. "There's something I'm definitely wanting to lick."