5. Conner

5

Conner

I t's been a week, one full week since I agreed to be Dani's baby daddy. What the hell was I thinking? Honestly, I'm not sure I was. Seeing her holding little Brynn, the way her eyes closed with love and longing, it did something to me, fucked me over in ways that had me telling her I'd give her a baby, even though it terrifies me.

The truth is, I don't have the right DNA for that, and call me superstitious, but bad things happen in threes. I can't lose anyone else in my life. I might have misplaced trading cards, games and my favorite toys growing up—although the doctor said that had nothing to do with dyslexia—at the end of the day, they were just belongings. When it comes to the people most important to me, I can't risk it.

I take a deep breath to pull myself together. I need to get my game hat on and step out of the role of baby daddy and back into the role of the cup champion. This afternoon, a few of the guys and I are taking a downtown trolley, and hopping on and off so we can showcase the cup to crowds of cheering fans. While that's fun and exciting, and I love our fans, I can't keep my focus off the text that Dani sent me earlier, the text that said two simple words: I'm ovulating.

Tonight I'm going to have sex with my best friend…my sister-in-law. Yeah, okay, maybe I thought about that back in high school. Maybe I wanted that, but I stopped thinking about it when she hooked up with my brother.

Did you though, Conner?

Yes, I fucking did. Mostly. Christ, kill me now. I open the door leading to the back of my house, and step outside to breathe in the fresh air. My yard is a bit neglected, and I need to take the cover off the pool and get it cleaned up.

For a brief second, I wonder if Rylee and Jared might like to bring the kids for a swim. But that thought brings on another. If Dani gets pregnant, this backyard won't feel so empty anymore. No, we'll be putting up a swing set like Rylee and Jared have, and we'll have to safety proof the pool more than it already is. I put my hand on my stomach, unsure if I'm frightened or excited.

Dani said my level of involvement with the child is up to me, but I think we need to have a talk to set some ground rules. What if she finds a guy and gets married and he wants to adopt our child? What if he doesn't want me in my child's life? Goddammit, no way am I going to be shoved out the back door. Not again.

I check the time and walk back inside, locking the door behind me. I grab my baseball cap and car keys and make my way to my car. I drive the short distance to where I'm meeting with my teammates, the Boston residents and the ones who stayed for the parade. Most of the guys are headed out tomorrow or the next day to wait in their hometown for their turn hosting the cup.

I spot a crowd around the trolley, and find a parking spot, which isn't easy. The second I exit my car, I'm swarmed, and that's okay. I'm here for the fans, but I do find myself searching the crowd for Dani. She told me she'd try to make it. One of the dogs she has overnight hasn't been feeling the best, and she was going to check on her to make sure she's okay. She thinks it's home sickness, but she wants to make sure.

I sign notepads and sweaters and hats, and finally I make my way to the trolley. Jesse is standing with Noah, Ash, Theodore, Brady—who doesn't appear to be taking the cup home to his small fishing village in Newfoundland—Tanner, Elias, Tuck and Jaxon. I love those guys like family. Just then Phil saunters up to us with the cup. Jesse takes it, holds the cup above his head and the crowd cheers.

"Stop hogging the cup," I joke and take it from Jesse. More cheering fills the street and as we form a line and pass it down, I once again scan the crowd. I really hope I don't see her. If I do, I'll be thinking about what's going to happen tonight. Sporting a boner while showcasing the cup probably isn't a great idea.

Tanner hands the cup back to Phil, and we all pile on the trolleys. Music blares from the speakers as we drive through town, stopping at different locations to meet and greet the crowds and give our autographs. It's nearing dinner time when we're finally back at our starting point, and fortunately, the crowd has dwindled.

"You guys want to grab a beer?" Elias asks as he adjusts his ballcap. Most of the guys nod in agreement, and I hesitate.

"Uh, sorry. Can't tonight."

"What's this?" Tuck teases throwing his arm over my shoulder. "Looks like Wood is going to be sporting wood tonight," he teases, using the nickname they've given me. "Wait," he jokes, "Maybe that's not an image I want in my brain." Everyone laughs and I do too. The guys don't know how derogatory that nickname was in my childhood and they don't need to know. When they say it, it's full of love and affection.

"Not your business," I say and for some reason a stupid, guilty grin crosses my face and for the life of me I can't seem to wipe it away.

Ash makes a fist and nudges my chin. "About fucking time."

"Who is she?" Elias asks, and when I don't answer, he presses. "Do we know her?"

"No," I blurt out so fast they laugh.

"Seems like we do know her," Jaxon says.

My phone pings, and I steal a fast glance at it to see that it's Dani, apologizing for not making the cup parade, before I tuck it away.

"I just hope it's Dani," Tuck says with a snort. "We can all feel the tension between you two from a million miles away." What the hell? Is he serious? There's no sexual tension between us. Okay, well… I mean, I like her. I've always liked her, but to her I'm just a friend. Soon to be a friend with benefits and maybe, eventually, her baby daddy. "It's about fucking time you guys got a room," Tuck adds.

I want to blurt out that it's not Dani, but I'm sure any kind of protest will simply raise suspicions. "You guys have fun at the pub, and I'll be thinking about you…" I pause. "Wait, no." I shake my head as they laugh. "I won't be thinking about you." The last thing I'll be thinking about are my teammates when I get Dani alone in bed. I'll be thinking about her and only her, and I pray to fucking God, it's me she's thinking about, not my late brother.

How fucked up is that?

I walk back to my car, jump in and head home. My stomach grumbles as I step into the shower and consider what to wear to our baby-making session. I wash quickly, and thoroughly, and head back to my bedroom to dress. My phone buzzes on my nightstand and I pick it up to see a message from Dani, letting me know she has some steaks to put on the grill. I really don't want her going through the trouble and message back that I can pick us up some food, but no, she insists on cooking, like it's the least she can do in return. Again, how fucked up is this?

Thirty minutes later, I pull into her driveway and smile when I see the big dog bus. She really does have a fun job and the dogs all love her. What's not to love? Not that I love her. Okay, I mean I do. I love her as a friend.

Shut up, Conner.

I step from the car, my pulse pounding in my neck. Jesus, I've had sex before. I've just never been this nervous in the past. I walk up to the door, and I'm about to use my key when it opens and I find Dani standing before me, wearing a pretty floral dress.

"You look beautiful."

"Oh, this old thing." It's a lie. It's new and if I had to guess, she bought it today. She does a weird swirly thing, and knowing she's as nervous as I am, puts me at ease. As I feel a shift inside me, I realize I'm the one who's going to have to take charge here. I'm the one who's going to have to put her at ease, and make this good. With those thoughts racing around my brain, the last of my unease fades, and I lean into her and give her a kiss on the cheek, like I usually do. Later, however, it won't be her cheek I'm kissing.

"You look nice too," she murmurs.

"Oh, this old thing." I mimic her swirl, and it pulls a laugh from her. Good. I want her relaxed, and hey, we might as well enjoy ourselves, right?

"Hungry?"

I rub my stomach. "Starved."

She pouts before turning to head down the hall to her kitchen. "Sorry I couldn't be there today. I really wanted to be, but we ended up calling in a vet for Buster. He wasn't eating, and it turns out he has a bad tooth. I had to call his owners, who are on vacation in the Bahamas, and see if they wanted it pulled, and they did so I had to take him to the vet clinic and wait, and now he's going to be staying the night the clinic, because there were a few complications."

"Poor Buster."

"I'll check in tomorrow morning."

"I'll come with you."

She opens her mouth like she's going to protest, but aren't we past this by now? She glances down, and I touch her chin and lift her eyes to mine. "Here's the deal, Dani." She frowns, and blinks dark lashes over even darker eyes. God, she's so beautiful. "If we're doing this, it's you and me. No other men. No other women." A grin tugs at the corner of her mouth. I realize she hasn't been with a man in a long time and it's not on her agenda, but I want her to know that the rules apply both ways and that if she put herself out there, men would be falling all over her. "No waving your cat all over the place. You know, like from that Queen song." She bursts out laughing and I angle my head. "What's so funny?"

"That's not quite how the lyrics go and I don't think they mean what you think they mean."

"Really?"

"No, it's kicking your can all over the place."

I scratch my head. "What does that even mean?"

"I don't really know."

Wood. Dumb as a stump. I give her a cheeky grin and try to hide my insecurities with humor. "I never was the brightest bulb in the pack."

"Don't say that," she snaps. "You just misunderstood the lyrics."

"Anyway, no waving your cat. Neither one of us."

"Okay, and if we're still talking about the song, I guess what you're trying to tell me is, you're going to rock me."

I slide my palm to the side of her face and dip my head. A little gasp sounds in her throat when I don't speak, but instead press my lips to hers. Heaven. Holy fucking hell! A moan I have no control over crawls out of my throat as I taste her mouth. And her lips, Jesus, they're so soft and pliable as I kiss her with a hunger that has been simmering for far too many years, letting me know that what we're about to do later might be a little risky for my heart.

I break the kiss, and we're both left a little shaken, as we stare at each other. "Okay, so that's a yes," she finally manages to say and I grin. "I uh, should get the steaks on."

"One more thing." I touch her arm, and she goes still. "I don't know what is going to happen down the road. We can't predict that, but I will always be in your life, and our child's, okay? Tell me you'll never take that away from me."

"Never," she answers quickly, with authority and confidence. She must have been thinking about this too. "You're the best man I know, Conner. I want you involved if that's what you want."

Best man she knows. I could probably debate that, considering I've been lusting after my brother's wife for years, from way before she was Alec's wife, and I'm about to attempt to put a baby in her because her husband is no longer with us. She moves away, and I watch the sway of her dress as my gaze drops to take in her gorgeous, shapely legs. And now—fuck—now all I can think about is what they're going to feel like wrapped around me.