Thirty-One

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ATTY

We're layingin bed talking about nothing. Toby's pressed against me, bringing our hands together and apart. I watch as they link and then come undone as he presses our palms together instead.

I've never laid like this with someone. With Marie… it just didn't feel like this. Toby and I aren't talking about anything important. Nothing emotional or deep. I think we were literally commenting on the weather a minute ago. But nothing has ever felt this intimate. I'm sure I'll remember this moment for a very long time.

His naked body is pressed against mine, but we're not even covered in sweat and cum. We're actually clean! After a shower, we climbed back into bed, just to lounge. To spend the morning cuddled up.

This moment makes me feel so fucking complete. The happiness and joy inside me feel like they could burst out and melt the house with how hot they're burning.

I want this for the rest of my life.

Toby's phone pings. At first he doesn't answer, but when it goes off a few more times, he sighs and rolls away. When he rolls back, he's grinning. He rolls right onto me, straddling my hips. The way his face lights up has me smiling, too.

"Have you ever watched gay porn?" he asks.

My eyebrows rise. "No?"

He laughs. "Are you interested in checking it out?"

"…uh…"

Toby's grin has me wanting to say yes, but… I'm not sure I'll be into it. I'm not even sure I'd be into seeing a video of me and Toby. It's hot in the moment, but will I feel the same way watching it? Nothing about two men together has ever done it for me.

Except this.

I chew my lip as I study at the way he stares at the screen. Something clearly has him excited. "What is it?"

His eyes flicker to mine. "So my best friend Jayse—he's an adult content creator. Ono Romeo? Have you heard of him?"

I shake my head.

He smirks. "What do you even look at on your ShareIt feed?"

"Hockey," I say, laughing. "And puppies."

His smile softens. "That's cute."

I jerk my hips up. "Stop teasing me. So porn star bestie…. Keep going."

Toby licks his lips, but his eyes are locked on me. Not whatever he sees on his screen. "Okay so parallel story. There are these two content creators. They're a couple in real life. I've been following them for ages, which in reality isn't that long since they've only been together for… two years maybe? But anyway, I'm low key obsessed."

"Their sex is that hot, huh?"

He rolls his eyes. "I mean, yeah. But not in the traditional sense. Apollo is a side so there's no penetration between him and anyone, including his boyfriend, Psyche."

"Those are their names?"

"Those are their online names, yes."

"Okay, next question. What's a side? It makes me think side dish."

Toby laughs. "No. Ohmigod! It means someone who doesn't like penetrative sex, giving or receiving. They prefer any other kind of sex."

"Huh. That's… interesting."

His grin widens. "You'll have to look it up. Anyway… These two stories connect in that Jayse just did a collab with them—when content creators make content together—and he just sent me the video!"

"You watch your best friend fuck regularly?" I ask, raising a brow.

He laughs. "No, actually. I subscribe to his ReachMe account, but I haven't actually been to his feed in a very long time. I subscribe to support him. However, I do watch Apollo and Psyche because I am obsessed."

"I see."

Toby shakes his head. Dropping the phone beside us, he stretches out on my body, crossing his hands over my chest and resting his chin on them. "Their sex is hot, not gonna lie. But the thing I have always loved most about them is how you can see their love in their videos. It's not just the hot chemistry between them, but how openly the way they feel about each other just… radiates from the screen. I swear, there are times when you can feel it or see it like it's a tangible thing. Honestly, I watch their glimpses of life videos more often than I watch their sexy stuff."

I brush his hair from his forehead, a soft smile playing on my lips. "You're in love with their love story."

Toby sighs. "Yeah. I've always wanted their love story. It's been a source of envy and longing for me for what feels like my entire life, which isn't true since I think they're in their twenties. But I just love their connection. That's always been goals for me."

Pressing my thumb to his lips, I nod. "Okay, show me gay porn. I make no promises of how into it I'll be."

He grins. "It's totally cool if you're not. Remember, kink. My kink doesn't have to be your kink."

I chuckle as he rolls off me and grabs his phone. He clicks and taps until he pulls up a video and turns his phone sideways.

It starts off like any other porn. Some low-key lame script that I usually just skip over because they're ridiculous and cheesy. Toby points out who is who. Apollo has dark hair and almost looks as Greek as the name he chose. He's lean with a swimmer's body.

Psyche is definitely more feminine, something I find surprising since Toby's told me he likes masculinity. Psyche has a line of three bright stars on his cheekbone. He's wearing high-waisted short shorts that have his ass hanging out, but that cover his navel, and a white crop top tee. There's something soft and sweet about his face.

Then there's Jayse. If there was ever a dudebro to bro and dude, this is what I would imagine them to look like. He's thicker than Apollo—not quite as lean. He has musculature, but he's also soft in some places. There's a spattering of hair across his chest, but no trail leading down his white pants.

His face is scruffy, dark hair slicked back. His default expression looks… judgy. Which is rather judgy of me, but I stand by it. It's just haughty, like one of those guys who knows he's hot and uses that as a reason to be a dick.

I'm surprised by nearly all of this.

I'd rather just see people go at it than the weird, awkward beginnings. At least that part doesn't last long.

I've never watched more than two people at a time and am completely unsure what to expect. I'm surprised I don't hate it. Three cocks seem like a lot to keep track of.

Glancing at Toby's face, I see that there's definitely heat there, but he's got his bottom lip between his teeth as he watches. Transfixed.

Turning my attention back, I try to pay attention to the aspects that aren't directly related to sex. The way they touch and kiss. The way they move together and look at each other. There's one thing very clear—Toby's right about how obvious the relationship between Apollo and Psyche is. It would be hard to miss.

They do a decent job of incorporating Jayse, but there's something missing in the interactions between them and him. If the beginning script is lackluster in the acting department, this is where they make up for it. While it's clear the true chemistry lies between Apollo and Psyche, they don't miss a beat with Jayse.

Sex comes in the form of Apollo on his back with Psyche on top, frotting, and Jayse taking Psyche's ass. I'm surprised that I find it appealing at all. That is to say, I'm not horrified or turned off, which is kind of what I was expecting. I'm definitely not all that into it, though.

Looking at Toby, he is definitely into it. I spend most of the video watching him. It's him that turns me on. The growing hard poke of his dick against my leg. The way his hips roll against me, subtly, as he watches. His quiet moans and sharp inhales.

When the video ends, Toby shifts to meet my eyes, finding that I'm already watching him. "Not your thing," he says, voice breathless.

I roll us, trapping his body between mine and the mattress. He groans, his hips rolling again. Eyes fluttering. "You are my thing," I explain.

His hand tangles in my hair harshly, making my scalp sting as he pulls my mouth to his. His kiss is hungry, so fucking horny. But then he's gone, pushing me away.

I watch him, slightly flabbergasted, as he disappears into my closet and comes out with a length of rope. I have to assume it's from his bag, since I'm pretty confident I didn't have rope in my closet. "On your back, baby girl."

I'm not sure I'm totally into being tied up, but I do as he says. Toby pushes all the blankets away, shoving them to the edges of the bed. He's so fucking hard. A bead of pre-cum on his cock has me staring. He climbs on top of me again, straddling me, and shimmies his way up my body.

"Give me your hands." I do, as I pick my head up and reach for the head of his dick with my mouth. I barely manage.

Toby grunts and shifts a little more so I can take him deeper. Watching someone else do this? Not into it. Having his dick in my mouth? Yes, please. I don't get much of him as he ties my wrists together. The occasional twinge on my skin makes me glance up at his face.

He's trying to concentrate, but I think between the stimulation of my mouth on him and the mood from the video, he's finding it hard. He leans forward and I suddenly have a mouth full of his cock as he leans over my head, bringing my hands with him.

His moan is long, low. His hips roll as I gag around his dick going down my throat. My eyes immediately sting. I can't tell what he's doing over my head. It's not like there's much to tie my hands to. But he's there long enough that I'm sure he's found something.

He pulls back, his cock coming out of my mouth completely. Then his mouth is on mine, his body draping over me again. He moves against me. It's all erotic and hot and has me moaning into his mouth. My spit has our cocks gliding together with the most delicious friction. Toby bites my lip, making me whimper.

I try to pull my hands down and find that they are, in fact, securely trapped above my head. I'm surprised that he managed and fuck, it makes me shiver with need. What's he going to do to me?

Sucking on my tongue, Toby reaches between us and grips our cocks. I moan, pushing up into his hand. It feels so good.

"I want to ride you," Toby murmurs against my mouth.

I nod. "Yes. Fuck me," I whine.

"No," he says, shaking his head. "I want to ride your dick."

My breath catches and I open my eyes. "You do?"

His smile is so sexy. "Yeah. Can I?"

"Why are you asking? Yes! Ride me. But why the fuck am I tied up for this?"

Toby chuckles, capturing my mouth again. I'm thoroughly distracted as he rubs our dicks together. If he's not careful, he'll be lucky if I don't just come from this.

"Because I need to be in control of this," he explains, and I'm momentarily confused. What were we talking about?

"You're always in control. I like it that way."

He grins. "Yes, but I just need you to not even try. So hands tied. Okay?"

I nod. "Okay. Good. Tie me up."

Toby grins. His mouth covers mine for another minute, then he's moving down my body. He sucks my cock, getting it nice and wet and dripping with his spit before sliding on a condom. Then he's over me again, straddling me, reaching behind him.

I watch his face because I can't see his hand, though I try. I remember having my fingers in his ass. How that looked and felt. My cock throbs remembering him coming all over me from my fingers alone.

I'm panting just watching. Fuck. Why can't porn be like this?! I'd be down for it. I can watch this!

Toby adjusts himself as he coats my rubberized cock with lube, and then I'm staring for another reason as he positions his ass over me. His hole rings my crown like a halo. He's slow as he presses against my cockhead, his fingers keeping it in place. I keep myself as still as possible, very aware that he wants to control everything about this.

My hands desperately want to touch him, though. His soft skin. The way his thigh muscles tense as he holds himself up.

I'm distracted from admiring when his ring finally lets me in. My hips jerk reflexively as I sharply inhale. Fuck. The hand not guiding my cock lands on my hip and he uses his body weight to keep me still.

I try to mutter an apology, but he's so damn tight. With every inch he slides down, I think he's squeezing my lungs with his ass.

Honestly, I didn't imagine this to feel all that different from being with a woman. I mean, a hole is a hole, right? But it is different. Tighter. There's less give. More muscle maybe? It's not necessarily hotter, but it's… something. I burn.

"Okay?" Toby asks.

My answer is a very long, low groan. He laughs breathlessly.

Everything about Toby has me staring at him. He's beautiful. So sweet and kind and attentive. There are terrifying words on the tip of my tongue that only get swallowed because Toby begins riding me and I'm entranced. Not just from the feeling of his body swallowing me into his tight, hot hole, but because he's a vision.

So into it. He's so fucking into it. His head lolls back as he moans. One of his hands remains on my hip, holding me still. But the other moves along my body and his. Taking turns. Moving down mine and then up his. As if we're one being. Connected.

If I had any breath, I'd be confessing a lot of things I'm not sure either of us is ready for. I love the way he moves on me. How lost in the feeling he is. His hand eventually comes off my hip and I try like fuck to hold still. It's so difficult when everything in me wants to move with him.

When he leans down to kiss me, I lose the strength to hold still and my body rolls in time with his. Not hard. Just sensually.

"So good," he murmurs, his hands moving up my arms and clasping my restrained hands so our fingers twine awkwardly. "Keep doing that, Atty. Just like that."

I do. Rolling my hips slowly, sinking in as deeply as I'm able at this angle and taking both our breaths away. "I've never… felt… so good," I say between kisses. "Fuck, Toby."

His mouth smiles against me, open and licking as we sloppily but passionately kiss. I desperately want to wrap my arms around him. He can have all the control he wants. This is definitely perfect. But fuck, I want to hold him. To touch him. Feel the way his muscles move under his skin as we fuck like this.

It's slow. We're in no hurry. When we come, I think this is the first time we do so together. My head spins and I don't want this to end.

I keep saying it, but somehow it just keeps getting better. Best. Sex. Ever. But it's more than that now. The orgasm wasn't even the best part.

Being with Toby like this—that's the best part.