29. Carly

We had to be fast, otherwise we'd be missed at the party. But even knowing that logically, I couldn"t stop myself from wanting to prolong this illicit pleasure. Maybe I was getting off more than a little on the adrenaline, the fear that we'd get caught.

Logan's sheer size always caught me off guard, and somehow, when he was underneath me and I knew I'd have to sink down on his length, it was more intimidating. But I knew I was up for this challenge. I locked eyes with him as I placed his head at my dripping entrance, and then I gripped his shoulders for purchase as I started to sink down.

Christ, it was so full like this. He was only an inch or so in, and I wanted to sob with the pleasure of this stretch. I cried out when he gripped my hips and growled, shoving me down more quickly so he was fully seated inside me. Then, he used his impressive strength to help me ride him, fucking me from below as I found my pace.

"Christ, she's a fuckin' natural." Nate's voice came from behind me. It was hot knowing he was watching, and I sped up the undulations of my hips, not caring that my legs would be wobbly noodles tomorrow. It felt too fucking good. Logan grunted in agreement and bent his head to suck my tits again, leaving a lazy trail of bruises all around my nipples.

I came twice, hard and fast. It would have been loud, too, if Logan hadn't covered my mouth with his hand, which was all the hotter. He bucked his hips, fucking into me at a punishing pace for who knew how many more strokes, and then he came, bruising my hips with his vicelike fingers.

I was a ragdoll when Logan and Nate helped me into the chair. Logan shoved the chair closer to the desk, and Nate adjusted how he had his hips, and then I was choking down Nate's long cock.

By the time I drank down Nate's cum and both of my men helped dress me again like a doll, the party was close to done. The end parts of a party like this were usually the most fun, when everyone was a little looser from alcohol and most of the important bigwigs had gone home. But even when I hung out with a tipsy Maya and some of our other coworkers during clean-up, I couldn't shake the off-kilter feeling I'd had ever since the art fair. I thought taking the promotion would have helped, but I still felt off.

Nate, Logan, and I all went home together, even though I wasn't sure we had any further plans for sexy escapades tonight. When we got back to the small house where I lived, where my daughter slept, I was exhausted. Bennett seemed tired, too, having just finished a shift at his new job. Still, he was smiling when he greeted us as we came in the door.

"How did it go?" he asked.

"Great," I said shortly. "I'm taking a promotion, by the way. Working in management at the new restaurant. Isn't that great?"

Bennett blinked. I could hear how off my voice sounded, the strange strain in it. I told myself it was just exhaustion. "Oh, that's… that's great. But I thought you?—"

"How's Ella?" I cut him off. "Is she in bed?"

He frowned at me, clearly a little hurt by my prickly mood. I could feel Logan and Nate shifting around on their feet behind me. Suddenly, I wanted so badly to be alone. Or just with Ella. Everything was simpler with my little girl.

"Uh, yeah," Ben answered slowly. "She's been asleep for a while. Jodie was here earlier, and… well, we tucked her in together. And we talked."

I didn't like the sound of that. My heart rate started to creep up to unhealthy speeds. Nothing good could come of Bennett talking to my mom. Of any of the guys talking to Jodie Sanders, really. I saw Ben exchange a look with his brothers, and something like dread caused a pit in my stomach as Nate and Logan left my side to stand across from me, united with Ben. I narrowed my eyes.

"Is… something going on?" I asked, trying not to betray my panic. How had everything started to become so tense? When did I start to feel anxious around the guys instead of… whatever delusional feeling I'd been basking in before our date to the fair? It was too good to be true, my panicked brain started to say, even though there was nothing happening yet.

Yet.

"We've been thinking," Nate started, and since he was generally opposed to serious talks, it was weird to hear him sound so stoic now. Taking a page out of Logan's book, since he'd always looked up to him.

"Sounds dangerous," I joked, but it didn't land.

"It's about us, Carly," Logan said with an overtired sigh. "Our relationship."

"It's time to come out." Bennett finally landed his punch. "We think your mom needs to know what's going on, since this thing between us isn't going away."

"Ella, too," Nate agreed.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Some part of me knew this was always coming, but now just felt like the wrong time. I hadn't adjusted to any of it, had hardly allowed myself to really feel anything but lust for these guys without shoving the mushy thoughts away into a tiny box I couldn't reach. Suddenly, all I could feel was fear.

I didn't want to share this with my mom. Even beyond the weirdness of telling my mother I was in a relationship with three men at once, they were my fucking stepbrothers, and the whole arrangement was so unlike me, maybe I worried she'd say something like I told you so. Worse, what if she was happy about this, and then it all turned to shit? I'd spent such a long time trying not to turn into my mother, and maybe some part of me was still stuck in teen rebellion, determined not to do anything she'd approve of. We were too different. I didn't want the things that she did—not for her, not for me, and certainly never for Ella.

My head was spinning. I wasn't even sure I was making sense. I just knew fear was controlling me. "I… now's not the time," I finally said lamely. "Maybe when I've settled into this new job." Stability. Sure, that was what I needed.

Logan frowned, which was surprising. Shouldn't he be happy I was thinking about this job that he'd offered me in the first place?

Ben looked so hurt, like a kicked puppy. I winced.

Nate, on the other hand, wore an expression I hadn't ever seen on his handsome face. He was angry. No, he was straight up pissed.

"That sounds like bullshit to me," he half-growled, his volume raising.

"Are you ashamed of us?" Logan asked, accusing. So loud.

"Shush," I said futilely. "Ella's asleep."

"And she still doesn't even know that I'm her father," Bennett gritted out, between yelling and tears. "Fuck, I should have known just from that. You're… you're just jerking us around, aren't you?"

"Of course not!" I whisper-yelled to keep from shrieking loud enough to wake my daughter. "I–I'm going to tell her. This is all coming out of nowhere. What's going on?"

"What's going on," Nate ground out from between his teeth, his voice unfamiliarly low and almost deadly, "is that we want to be with you. Really. Not in secret. And you know what? If you can't be open about us, I don't fucking want any of it. You're with us or you're not, Carl. We're grown ass adults, not teenagers who get a thrill out of sneaking around. We shouldn't have to hide."

He grabbed his jacket and stormed out into the night, leaving me with the other two men in my life and a serious sense of whiplash. Logan and Bennett's faces were conflicted, less certain about this ultimatum Nate had just laid at my feet. But they didn't shut him down, either. Everything was going wrong. It all felt completely unresolved, and yet I had no idea whether I should even try to resolve it.

"I need to head out." Logan's clipped tone broke the tension. He walked past me without looking at me, and I was too stunned to even ask him to stay. It felt like my sand castle was crumbling around me, and I was too frightened to do anything to stop it. When it came to fight, flight, or freeze, I was apparently the latter.

"Yeah," Bennett agreed. He'd lost all power behind his voice. "I'm gonna go to bed. Goodnight," he said. And the devastation settled in when he did exactly that, turning away and heading down the hall without giving me a kiss, a hug, or another glance.

Which left me. Bereft, adrift, and utterly alone for the first time in so long.