Chapter 18

~Justin

I can"t believe I"m back at Gabe"s. I feel like I"m sleepwalking. At least I haven"t had to deal with any more questioning from Gabe.

Today he shut himself up in his office, and then around lunchtime, Martin comes by. As I let him in, he gives me a tight smile and says, "Sorry, I"m here for Gabe." He goes to Gabe"s office, then a little later, he"s gone with barely a word. Now Gabe"s office door is closed, and it stays closed until it"s close to dinner time. That"s when he came out looking wiped.

"Have you eaten?" he asks me and his voice sounds rough.

"No. What do you want me to do about dinner?" I ask him instead of asking him what"s wrong like I want to. I don"t need to get into any conversations with him.

"Just get something for yourself," he says, shuts his eyes and turns away. Something is weighing on him, but it"s none of my business.

"Whatever," I mumble. I actually feel disappointed that he doesn"t want to eat. I think I was picturing us sitting down to a tense dinner followed by angry sex. What is wrong with me? "I don"t even want to be here," I say to myself just as Gabe starts to go back to his office.

He heard me and now he turns back and says, "You came back so at least some part of you wants to be here."

"I came back because Royce told me to. He said I still owed him." As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I regret them and not only because they"re a lie. I wasn"t coming back here until Gabe found me.

Gabe just stares at me for a minute with a blank look that speaks of pain and then he walks away. Now I feel like slamming my head against the nearest hard surface. I didn"t need to say that.

But I did and now I can"t stand to be here. Gabe doesn"t need anything from me anyway so I might as well leave. In my head, I"m not sure if I"m leaving for good or just getting out of there for a few hours. I don"t know what I"m doing in general.

As I"m aimlessly walking the streets and watching the evening turn to night, I can"t stop thinking about how Gabe looked. Something was wrong. Did Martin give him bad news?

It keeps bugging me so I go back sooner than I meant to. As I go in, the apartment is dark except for a very dim light in Gabe"s office.

I go over quietly and try to look in without being noticed. But I can"t stay quiet. What I see makes me gasp. Gabe is sitting in the armchair with a bottle of scotch in one hand and a gun in the other.

"Why do you have that?" I ask.

He"s startled to see me. "I wasn"t expecting you back."

"Why are you holding a gun?" I ask. I have this urge to snatch it away from him, but I know that"s a bad idea. And also kind of hypocritical. I wanted to die, but I can"t give him the same choice.

"I was just getting something out of the safe. That"s where I keep it," he says but that doesn"t explain anything.

"But why is it in your hand?" I demand.

"I"m not going to use it, if that"s what you"re worried about. But if I was..." he smiles bitterly.

"What?" I ask.

"The one I want to put a bullet in is already dead," Gabe says. "The other one keeps hiding."

"What"s this about?" I ask and he sets the gun on a small table next to the booze bottle.

He doesn"t seem drunk. The bottle is half empty, but maybe it wasn"t full to begin with. I want him to talk so I pull over a chair and sit across from him.

He"s silent, looking blankly at nothing, then he tells me, "My brother"s kidnapping wasn"t just about grabbing any random rich kid and getting a ransom. Someone I know was behind it. A man with a grudge against me. He orchestrated the kidnapping to get back at me. Derrick died because of me."

"That doesn"t make it your fault."

"Thompson was one of my executives, he had a gambling problem that he kept secret but it was uncovered. He was a security risk. There were signs he was getting involved in corporate espionage, possibly to pay his debts. Because of that, I made sure no one would hire him. So he went after Derrick, arranged his kidnapping."

"He didn"t get away with it, did he?"

"Thompson died soon after he was arrested. And no, I didn"t have anything to do with his death," Gabe says.

"I didn"t ask," I tell him.

"Plenty of people think I had him killed. I wish I had. But I wouldn"t have done it before he gave up his accomplice." Gabe"s eyes are straying toward the gun, and I"m wondering why this is such a bad day for him.

"Did Martin bring this up with you? He was the one you talked to before you got like this," I tell him.

"No. He wanted to take me out for Derrick"s birthday," Gabe says bitterly. "To distract me. Like I can be distracted from seeing my brother dead on his birthday. And I don"t even know who it was who helped Thompson, but I know it was because of me. It always comes back to me. I"m responsible."

"Stop," I beg him and I grab his hand.

I"m almost out of my chair, leaning close to him and he"s staring at me with incredibly sad eyes. I try to let go of his hand, but I can"t. I"m too scared to.

Gabe cups my face. "Any time things got this bad, I felt like Derrick"s hand reached out to stop me, but this time he seemed so far away. So this time it"s your hand." His hand moves to circle my wrist while his other hand goes around the back of my neck. "But you"re here because Royce forced you to be, both when you first came to me and now."

"Can"t you let that go?" I ask him.

"No," he says and stares into my eyes.

I want to pull away and get closer to him at the same time. I want to climb on his lap and... I"m trying to stop thinking like that, but then Gabe pulls me to him and kisses me so hard, sparks go off in my head.

His kiss burns through me, his hands grab me all over like not an inch of me is safe from his hard groping. His hand only stops when it"s between my legs, cupping me over my jeans, squeezing and tugging while I moan.

"Tell me what you want?" he asks as he pulls me to the floor.

When his groping eases off, I raise my hips for more. Isn"t that answer enough? But Gabe is glaring down at me, not giving me what I want until I plead with him.

"You. Just do it," I pant, mad, needy.

"Are you sure you"re not just doing your job?" he taunts me. "I"m going to need proof that you really want me."

I moan and he unzips his fly, frees his cock and kneels above my head. Tilting my head up, I breathe him in and open my mouth wide. "Show me. Make it convincing," he demands and rubs my lips with the wet tip. I flick it with my tongue, craving the taste and wanting more of it.

Gabe"s hand slides under the back of my head while his other hand guides his cock between my lips. I suck, my tongue rubbing over the veins. My mouth fills up over and over and I still can"t get enough. He"s so hard as he works his cock in and out of my mouth. I want to take him all in but the angle isn"t good for that.

"More," I beg when Gabe pulls back to thrust in again.

"Help yourself," he says and sits back. His cock is jutting up, wet from my mouth and beading at the tip.

I turn over and crawl over to him. My head is in his lap, my lips wrapped around the head of his cock. I lower myself and keep pushing. His cock stretches my throat then it"s too much and I stop.

As I start to lift my head, I feel his hand heavy on the back of my neck, forcing me to stay. "I like you right where you are," he breathes. His keeps me there then starts pressing down.

His cock is too much for me but I"m so hard from it, I could come right now. After gagging me all the way, Gabe slowly lets me up. "Now beg me for more."

"Please, I need more," I tell him and squeeze myself through my jeans while I moan.

He slaps my hand away. "You don"t touch yourself. You"re here to show me how much you want to serve me."

I"m on my hands and knees, taking his cock again. When my throat is tight around it, I don"t stop. I want to show him I can take it, I want it. I get it all the way in then pull back and do it again.

I"m proud of how well I"m doing, but Gabe"s hands still end up on the back of my head. I expect him to start pushing, but his fingers just spread over my scull, his fingertips rub my scalp. It feels good, strange, makes me want him even more, like I want to die for his touch.

My head bobbing in his lap, I"m not taking him as deep but I"m sucking hard, for all I"m worth. He cries out, stiffens, comes down my throat. I"m licking him clean and he"s telling me, "You think that was good enough?"

"Bastard," I tell him, but I"m so hard, and now I"m hoping there"s more.

Grabbing me, Gabe turns me around and yanks down my jeans. He pushes my head down to the floor then reaches down for my cock. "If you touch me, I"ll come," I warn him.

"And then I"ll make you come again," he says then jerks me off roughly while I cry out and half moan and half scream as I come.

I"m flat on the floor now, spent, but Gabe mercilessly pulls me up by my hips and puts me back in the same position. Before I"m ready, his cock is at my hole and opening me up. I"m still out of breath from sucking him off and from coming, and now I can"t catch my breath from the intense pressure.

I feel he"s going to split me in half. He hooks a hand around my shoulder and shoves all the way with a grunt. I"m sobbing, I can"t adjust then Gabe starts rocking against me. "Still want it?" he asks.

"Yeah, like this, hard," I pant as my eyes tear up.

Gabe keeps rocking then he"s pumping. His thrusts are slow, unrelenting, like he wants to turn me inside out and make me love it. Some part of me doesn"t understand how I can like this, but my dick is so hard, bouncing, slapping as I get fucked.

It"s a long fuck, keeping me on the edge of coming. The constant need is making me insane while Gabe fucks and fucks like a machine, like his muscles never fail. Mine do. I can"t hold myself up so Gabe is pulling me back as he slams into me faster all the time.

When I come it"s while I"m shamelessly screaming Gabe"s name. Then he"s coming in me and what I feel is this naked gratitude and satisfaction like getting filled with his come is what I"ve always lived for.

I wouldn"t call what I did afterward sleeping. I pass out and wake up lying across Gabe. He"s asleep and I"m too tired to move. To hell with it. My eyes close and now I"m asleep again too.