Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

Lacey

C arter's hand is strong and warm holding mine as we stroll along the shoreline. The sand beneath my feet is like a soft, shifting carpet, each step leaving an imprint that is quickly erased by the incoming tide. The soothing rhythm of the ocean waves accompany us as we reach a more secluded spot on the beach. As we do, Carter's demeanor shifts.

"Is something bothering you?" I ask.

"No." He quickly responds, but his tone betrays him.

"Why don't I believe that? "I press.

"I don't know. Why wouldn't you?" His words are guarded and tense.

"Because of your temperament. All of a sudden, it's changed. You clearly were angry with your brother back at the house, then you seemed calm when you suggested taking a walk. Now, you're tense again." My concern expands as I take in his body language and the tension that's about to crack his jaw.

He looks at me. "My brother was being a brat."

"And now you're acting like one," I blurt. "I'm really trying here. I don't know what's going on in your head but it's exhausting."

"Oh, nice. Exhausting." He turns away. "That's just great."

"Tell me what's wrong—and don't tell me nothing," I plead.

Carter stops. His piercing eyes boring into my soul and the intensity of his gaze leaving me breathless. Our connection reaches every fiber of my being. It's as if he's trying to unravel the secrets in my soul.

Suddenly, the promise I made to Rose weighs on me. Carter's stare makes me feel vulnerable and exposed, yet I find I can't look away. There's this invisible thread that tethers us, pulling us closer together, and I am lost in their depths.

He lets out an exasperated sigh. "I have been keeping something from you. Maybe, that's what you detect."

"I knew it. It's bad, isn't it?" I bait him, not willing to spill what I know.

"What? No." He studies me.

"Whatever it is, just tell me," I insist, throwing up my hands.

"Lacey." He stops me. Troubled, he searches my expression, and then, pulls me close. "Christ …" His arms tighten around me as his lips brush against my ear. "I'm sorry, baby. This was supposed to be a good week."

"Is it your mom?" I choke on the words willing him to spill the heartbreak I carry.

He pulls away, putting me at arm's length. A puzzled expression corrupts his handsome face. "She told you, didn't she?"

"Did she tell you?" I repeat.

"Tell me what? That she's happy I'm proposing?"

My breath rushes out with a whispered word. "What?"

He stops, realizing that he's betrayed himself. Looking away, he rakes a hand through his hair and walks off, frustration pouring from him.

"Carter!" I call after him, suddenly worried I might have given something away while discovering something else. Picking up my pace, I catch up with him. "Stop!"

My hand latches onto his wrist and he turns. His expression is pained. "I told my mother I was going to propose and, once again ..." Disappointment etches lines in his face. "I guess it's true what they say about the best-laid plans."

Pain fists my heart. I've not exposed Rose's confidence but it's me who's hurt the man I love.

"Did she tell you?" He sinks my heart with the question, the anguish within them weighing me down.

"No."

With the whispered word his expression softens. He drops to his knee in front of me. My lungs hold my breath hostage as my heart pounds out a beat so loud I'm sure he can hear. Tears sting the corners of my eyes. As I look at him, the last rays of the sun showcase the love shining within their warm, chocolaty color. I can't let him do this.

Doubts and fears consume me, creeping into my mind and invading my thoughts. The enormity of what lies ahead is daunting. There's something so much bigger than us. I will be there, holding his hand through what he will be facing. Carter's preference for perfection will take over. He'll war with his thoughts. I can't let the months leading up to a wedding conflict with his mother's needs. I'm not sure I could live with the knowledge that his thoughts concerning me, and our wedding, would occupy any headspace that should be concentrated on Rose.

"This isn't how I wanted to ask you but, it's now or never." He musters a smile. "Will you?"

"I—" My voice cracks in time with my breaking heart and the weight of the obstacles he will face. My heart wants to say yes, but my mind holds me back.

I look away. As I cast my gaze out into the foamy blue expanse and the turbulent waves that mirror the unrest twisting my insides. My emotions tear at me.

Carter rises to his feet, his fingers gently lifting my chin until our eyes meet. "Lacey Michelle, marry me."

In that moment time seems to stand still. I want this journey with him, truly I do, but I know what obstacles are to come, and my gaze falls away as I shake my head and choke out whispered words.

"I can't."