Chapter 21

Istare at Bailey as her hands wade in the water of the steaming hot tub. We're sitting across from each other after a quick dip in the pool right above my condo and I'm honestly staying away so I don't jump her bones. I know I said she'd be begging me by the time I fuck her, but at this rate, I might end up begging her—on my knees yet again. It's not a bad place to be though, and I'd gladly kneel and worship her if it means I get to keep her.

We're still keeping up this charade of friends with benefits, and I say that because even I know she wants more; she just won't allow herself to have it. However, I'm willing to give her the time she needs to assimilate to the situation. Eventually, though, she will realize she's made a mistake and finally give me a chance—a real one. At least, I hope so. Either way, nothing will stop me from trying.

"Why are you staring at me?" she asks me, raising one perfectly shaped eyebrow. Seriously, it feels like everything about her is flawless.

"I thought you said you like to swim," I tease Bailey. Okay, so maybe there was some swimming, but I would like to rile her up.

"I said I like to swim, not that I'm a swimmer." She rolls her pretty green eyes at me. "It's not the same thing. Besides, I also like sitting in the hot tub like a lazy bitch."

I snort. "And I like sitting with you, just to watch you," I reply. "Though don't think for one second that I actually enjoy being inside Satan's asshole."

"It's not my fault you already run as hot as literal hell."

She has a point: I run as hot as a furnace. Always have, and it's the first thing women comment on when cuddling. Bailey is the first one to not point it out—until now. I guess that's saying something. She's nice.

"Aw, if you keep being sweet like that, I might start thinking you like me."

"Never." She grins, shaking her head. "You're boring, I could never like you."

I press a hand to my wounded heart. Does she believe I'm boring? Is she serious, or is it a joke? I can't even tell. "You can't be serious. I'm funny as fuck."

"You watch Jurassic Park for fun, Theo," Bailey replies in a teasing tone, even though the comment still gets to me regardless.

I glance down at the water, staring at my hands. It's not that I'm a sensitive man—okay, maybe a little—but if she really doesn't like me, then?—

"You know I'm just kidding, right?" Bailey slides closer to me, placing a hand tentatively on my forearm, then squeezing the corded muscles.

And just because I want to give her a hard time, I ask in my most serious tone, "Are you, though?"

"Oh my God, Theo." She splashes as she gets on my lap. "If I didn't like you…" She reaches between us, undoing my swim trunks. "Would I do this?" My dick immediately thickens underneath the fabric, begging to come out.

Bailey puts me out of my misery and pulls my hard dick out, letting it bob between us and staring down at it like it's edible. "If you don't stop looking at it like that, it's going to end up down your throat, baby." I groan, just imagining her lips wrapped around me makes me even harder.

Rather than a comeback, she grins and gets off me. "On your knees for me, Theo." I peer around at the empty space, surprised there's no one here at the indoor pool. It's probably going to be short-lived, and I'm calculating just how fast I can come before being interrupted, and man, that would suck. I've already had a case of blue balls for weeks—not that I'm complaining. "Now," she breathes. "Before someone comes in and ruins it for us."

I do as she says, getting on my knees on the bench, the tiny tiles digging into me painfully. But I ignore it because she stands in front of me with wonder in her wide eyes, and all sense of self-preservation goes out the window. It's not lost on me that she has me on my knees for her again instead of the other way around, but she needs control—and damn it, I want to give it to her.

Her hand wraps around my dick and she jerks it slowly, then takes it into her mouth. The way her tongue swirls around the head makes me weak in the knees, and I grab onto the ledge to keep myself upright. She keeps licking at the sensitive spot under the head, and when she sucks and hollows her cheeks for me, I groan.

"Such a pretty little mouth, baby," I praise. "Suck me harder. You feel like heaven."

Bailey moans around my dick, making my balls clench, then begins to bob her head up and down. She's slow at first, finding her rhythm. Soon enough though, she gets faster, and my toes curl in pleasure.

Her hands wrap around my ass cheeks, nails digging in, and she begins to push me into her mouth. Doe eyes meet mine, begging me for something, and she nods once. I don't even know what that means, but I bury my fingers in her hair and pop her off.

"What do you want, Bailey?"

She breathes hard, chest heaving, then a grin curls her lips. "Fuck my mouth."

I smirk, looking down at her as she sucks me right back into her mouth, and I begin to buck my hips. Now it's my turn to find a rhythm, one in which I slowly draw out my pleasure, and right as I feel the tingles run down my spine and my balls rise, I begin to thrust in and out of her mouth faster. I meet resistance, her throat constricting around my length, and the sound of her gagging makes my dick harden to the point of pain.

"God, yes," I groan.

Bailey moans, bobbing her head to take me in deeper, and I close my eyes to chase the feeling. Her full, plump lips slide over my dick and wrap around the head; then she sucks me back into her mouth. I grip her hair tighter in my grip and open my eyes, watching her own eyes water as I do, and I begin to fuck her throat. Surprisingly, not only does she take it, but she also hollows her cheeks to make the suction even better.

Moaning, I grab the back of her head with both hands and fuck her mouth faster. "That's it, baby," I tell her as she gags. "Choke on my dick. Show me how much you love what I'm doing to you."

Tears gather in her eyes and trail down her cheeks, the most beautiful sight I've ever seen. Sweat trickles down my spine as she continues digging her nails into my ass and I pick up the pace. She's surely going to draw blood, but I can't find any fucks to give right now.

"Fuck, baby," I moan. "That feels so good."

Bailey reaches a hand up tentatively, cupping my balls and squeezing them gently. It sends a zap of pleasure down my spine, combined with the way the head of my dick is repeatedly hitting the back of her throat. "Tug them," I grunt. "Don't be scared, rough me up a little."

Except if there's something I've learned about Bailey, it"s that she's a pleaser, too. She might give off the impression that she's just a taker if you don't know her, but here she is, ready to make me fall apart, giving me control, letting go.

My balls rise and my dick throbs, and when the familiar tingling sensation returns, I increase the pace even more, chasing the orgasm. "Swallow my dick, baby," I beg her as my cum shoots down her throat in hot spurts. "Take every drop."

Bailey swallows every last drop, giving my dick one more deep suck, then releases me. My semi-hard dick hangs between us, slightly bobbing, and she gazes into my eyes. Her green ones dilate, showing nothing but need for me, and I'm about ready to give her the world.

"That's my girl," I whisper, gripping her chin with my thumb and forefinger, lifting her face toward mine.

Quickly and with a splash, I sit back down on the bench and pull her between my legs, taking her lips with mine and diving my tongue so deep into her mouth that I can taste my cum. It only serves to turn me on all over again, and when her chest is heaving, and I'm entirely breathless, I pull away and try to compose myself.

"I want to go home now." She smiles at me, her dimples making an appearance.

I frown, "I thought you were spending the night."

"I am." It's her turn to frown, but then she recovers and puts on another beautiful smile. It's contagious, and soon enough, I'm smiling, too. "I meant the condo."

"Then let's go, B."

We get out of the hot tub, her going straight for the towels and me adjusting myself back in my swim trunks. After drying ourselves and gathering our belongings, we go back to my place. The one I wish was ours instead.

"Want a Blue Moon?" I ask her as she closes the front door behind us. "Then you can sit on my lap and tell me about your day?"

"Shouldn't you have asked me that before your dick was in my mouth?"

A low chuckle bursts through my lips. This girl. "I would've, but you seemed so eager that I didn't want to deny you, baby," I reply with a wink, and she rolls her eyes.

After opening two Blue Moons and putting an orange slice in each, we both sit on the couch together. She's practically on top of me, with her legs draped over my lap and a content look on her face.

"Tell me something, Bailey."

"Like what?" she asks and takes another sip of the beer, smiling at me. It's my favorite thing about her. She never stops smiling at me now. Well—one of my favorite things. Such a change from when we first met.

"Anything." I shrug nonchalantly when, instead, all I want to say is everything. Tell me everything about you so I can memorize your entire being. So I can understand you better. So I can love you the way no one else has.

"Let's see." Bailey pretends to think. "Last night sucked, I didn't get to drink coffee at work because we were slammed, and I think I peed one time in fourteen hours."

"Sounds miserable." I wince.

"But I'm here now." With a wink, she downs the rest of her beer. "What else do you want to know?"

"Everything about you."

"That's a lot, Theo." She chuckles and I join her, even though I'm not joking. "Okay. I like to swim."

I snicker and she rolls her eyes. "I know that."

"Road trips over airplanes." She gets a dreamy look on her face. "My dream travel destination is Banff."

"I can make that happen," I promise her. "What else?"

"Breakfast tacos over dinner tacos."

I frown, "Blasphemy."

"Oh?" Her nose wrinkles. "And what's the right answer, then?"

"Dinner tacos are superior." I nod slowly, trying to get her to understand. "Al Pastor, specifically."

"I can agree with them being good." She huffs, "However, bacon, egg, and cheese tacos? Can't beat that."

You can most definitely beat that, but I don't want to ruin the moment by arguing about tacos. "You ever been on Tinder?" I ask her, instantly regretting it when she turns her narrowed eyes on me.

"No," she replies. "You?"

"Briefly." I smile weakly. "It was a fucking disaster."

"Oh, please." She chuckles, "Tell me more."

"Not much to tell." There's actually too much to tell because every date I went on was a farce—on their end, not mine. "They only wanted me only because I'm Theo Anderson, star defenseman for the Seattle Sailors. Not for me. I'm just a walking wallet, Bailey."

"Is that really how you see yourself?"

"Not with you." I smile.

"Of course not—I'm your friend."

"Not just friends." I grin, but the little word is starting to hurt every time I hear it. "But anyway, if you didn't have to work the night shift, would you like to be awake during the day?"

"Absolutely not." She shakes her head. I'm a night owl through and through, but if I didn't work the night shift anymore, I'd have more time with my friends."

Cheyenne.

Me.

"If I could change my schedule for you, Bailey, I would," I reply, knowing she's about to ask me the same question. "I'd be awake at whatever time you are. But I love the sun, okay, my little vampire?"

We both laugh at that. "Whatever, dude." She rolls her eyes. "You're just jealous of my superior survival skills. I don't even need vitamin D or Serotonin to thrive."

"Lies." I chuckle. "You're getting daily doses of Serotonin just by hanging out with me."

"Okay, maybe a little," she relents, then yawns. "I don't know what it is about this couch, but it makes me so tired."

"It's magic." I wink, "I bought it on purpose, for the nights when I want to fall asleep to the TV."

"So you sleep on the couch when you have a perfect bed in your room?"

I shrug, "Sometimes."

Gathering the beer bottles, I put them on the floor next to the couch and get up. Then, I scoop Bailey up and carry her like a baby. I go past the living room and kitchen and then through the hallway all the way to the end.

"Are you gonna put me to bed, Theo?" Bailey teases. "I can walk here on my own."

"I know, but you shouldn't have to," I reply. "Even if you're not my girlfriend, I'll still treat you like my queen."

"You're spoiling me." Bailey pouts.

"I sure hope so."

I lay her down on the bed, facing my side with her head on my pillow, and settle in right next to her. It's dark in the room, but a sliver of moonlight enters through the curtains and bathes her in an ethereal glow. Her green eyes widen as I lick my lips, and they follow the trail of my tongue.

Bailey's hand tentatively reaches out to brush the hair away from my forehead. "You're so beautiful," she whispers with awe in her voice, fingertips skimming the skin of my face as if she's scared I might bite her. "The most beautiful."

I smile softly at her, yet don't dare move. I can only hold my breath while she stares at me as if she's hypnotized.

"And so good, Theo." My throat clogs and my eyes sting. "You're the sweetest thing to ever walk this earth."

"Then keep me," I blurt, regretting the words instantly.

Rather than having the reaction I thought she would, she moves closer until her nose brushes against mine and our lips touch. Then she gives me the softest kiss to ever grace my lips, the kind where I barely feel the brush of her lips, and she buries her face in the crook of my neck.

Bailey's breathing becomes heavy instantly, and before I even realize what is happening, she's fast asleep. It's hard for me to go to bed however, especially after the day we've had. I never expected to get a blow job at the damn pool, and definitely not for her to let me take control of the situation.

I've been more than willing to let her take the reins, although I can't deny that I want to be in charge too, from time to time. Either way, this is all fucking with my head. I want to be able to be her friend—with benefits—but how do I stop myself from having feelings, as she said? Because if we were speaking about her clause…we would've never started this arrangement to begin with. I just don't have the guts to tell her how I feel because I know she's not ready.

"Fuck." I whisper, "What are you doing to me, pretty girl?" I stroke the back of her head, my fingers getting lost in her hair. "I'm so far in love with you I see no way out."

She stirs in my arms, and I wrap her tighter against me—that is, until I feel tears coating my skin. Just as I'm about to try to figure out what's happening though, she whimpers, the slight sound driving a wedge into my heart.

"Robert…" she cries out. "Stop, please, no."

Robert.

That motherfucker.

Heat envelops me, but it's not the cozy kind; no, this one is fucking rage. That piece of shit hurt my girl, he did something to her that she will never get over, and it's affecting her in more ways than one. I wish more than anything that I could take her pain away, that I could give her a clean slate. But I can't, not really. I can't wipe her memory of him—I can only try to replace all the bad with good. And damn it, I will achieve it if it's the last thing I do.

"Baby," I whisper as I shake her. "It's just a dream. I'm here. Theo is here."

Bailey stirs as I wake her, "Theo?"

"Yes, Bailey," I reassure her, a knot forming in my throat. "I'm here."

Her leg wedges between mine, and she glues herself to my front, leaving no space between us. My lips brush against hers, and when I take her bottom lip into my mouth I can taste her salty tears.

"Sorry." She grimaces.

"For what?"

"Crying on you, I guess." She motions to my chest, and I shake my head.

"It's okay," I reply, leaning into her, our faces close together.

Bailey's eyelashes meet my cheeks as my nose brushes against hers, and she flutters them, making me chuckle. "Butterfly kisses," she whispers.

I brush my nose against hers again, nudging, and she tilts her head to meet me for a deeper kiss. One in which I thrust my tongue into her mouth and nip her bottom lip. It's all too much and not enough. Loving Bailey is like nose brushes and butterfly kisses, but it's also heartache and doubts.

And sometimes it really sucks.