Chapter 20

"Morning," a soft voice calls out, startling me awake.

I'm in Theo's bed, and I briefly recall how I got here. He all but begged me to come home with him, and I relented. As soon as we made it to his place, I thought he was going to ask me to have sex. Strong arms wrapped me up in a cocoon and carried me bridal style all the way to this bed. Instead, he proceeded to warm me up—make me hot as hell is more like it—by cuddling me all night. Until I didn't feel him anymore, which is when I assumed he had left the room to make breakfast. I can smell bacon, and as I open my eyes and sit up in bed, I can see him walking toward me with a tray.

"Figured you might wake up hungry."

As if on cue, my stomach growls and I blush furiously. "You guessed right."

We left his friends late last night, probably at two in the morning, but I was asleep by three at the latest. I'm genuinely surprised since I haven't fallen asleep before daytime in so long that I can't even remember what it was like to sleep in the dark. But it was nice, especially with Theo wrapped around me like a weighted blanket. I shouldn't like that at all. In fact, I shouldn't even be sleeping in bed with him. It's too intimate. I'm not even sure why I agreed to his terms—sleepovers being one of them.

The truth is that as much as I want to deny it, I like him a lot. Even with all of my trust issues, I know him enough to feel somewhat safe around him. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would treat me the same way Robert did, and I think that's the only reason I wanted to be friends with benefits. That and the fact that I feel lonely. I don't want to fall in love, just have some company and the occasional good fuck—I'm only human.

The worst part is that going places with him, sleepovers, and spending time with him all seem like the most natural thing in the world. There's nothing awkward about it, nothing that makes me second guess my choices, and that is worrisome. I just don't want him to develop feelings for me because it's easy between us. After all, the only way this can end is with a broken heart. For both of us.

"Hope you like it, B," Theo says, smiling down at me as he sets the tray on my lap.

The delicious aroma of the bacon and omelet reaches my nose, and my mouth waters. "It looks amazing, Theo. Are you going to eat with me?" I smile back.

"I'm hungry for something else," he says softly, his voice strained. I glance into his eyes and they are heated, flaring.

"Oh, yeah?"

Theo nods slowly, and I set the tray aside on the bedside table. I raise one eyebrow, daring him, taunting him. Throwing the blankets aside, I flash him my pussy, which is easy considering the shirt I'm wearing. I bet he didn't even realize I was naked underneath, but now he does, and the way he bites his full bottom lip and sucks it into his mouth makes the need to clench my thighs almost excruciating. But not as excruciating as the need to have his mouth on me, all over me.

"Take it off, Bailey," he whispers. "I want to see that pretty little body."

Slowly, I pull my shirt over my head and drop it to the ground right next to the bed. It's my turn to bite my lip, so hard I almost draw blood from how nervous I feel.

"So perfect, baby," he breathes. "Made just for me, and me alone."

I clench my thighs at that, seeking relief. His grin is mischievous as he leans forward with his hands on the bed. One moment I'm sitting on the bed, and the next, my ass is on the edge. Theo sinks to his knees, gazing at me in a way that makes me want to close my legs again, so I attempt it. He slaps my thighs apart and I turn my head to the side, self-conscious of him being so close. I haven't done this in years because Robert wasn't exactly a giver. Theo, on the other hand, all he does is give.

"Look at me, baby." I do, leaning up on my elbows and looking down at him. His warm breath coasts over my slit, and he gives a tentative lick, both of us groaning at the same time. "Do you see what you do to me? You're driving me fucking insane."

Theo licks my inner thigh, taking his time with me, then bites it. Really hard. I'm sure there's going to be a bruise later, but it feels so damn good I still whisper, "Theo, please. More."

"More?" He murmurs against my pussy again, this time sucking my clit into his mouth, teasing me. Letting go just as quickly, he slaps my pussy. "I'll give you whatever you want."

"I don't want you to be gentle," I tell him, my hips rising toward his face, seeking relief.

"I won't be." He smirks. "Now watch me make you come, and if you close your eyes, I'll fucking stop. And you don't want that."

Like a starved man, he descends on my pussy and licks up my slit, swirling his tongue over my clit over and over. I know I'm soaked, and the sounds of sex fill the room as his tongue keeps toying with me, enough to make me feel good but not enough to give me what I need.

"Theo." I want to come. I start to tremble underneath him, which makes him grip my thighs in a bruising grip and push them up towards my chest.

"This is how I want you, Bailey," he groans against my slit. "Open for me, wanting me, needing me." I moan when he sucks my clit into his mouth. "How bad do you want this? How bad do you want me?"

"So fucking bad." I breathe, thrusting my hips up, and he chuckles.

"Hold on to me," he demands.

Theo lowers his face back to me, swiping his tongue over my slit, making me shudder and shake. As I tremble underneath him, he sucks my clit into his mouth, then releases it. Once, twice, three times. Teasing, taunting, riling me up. My moans and gasps echo in my ears, and he groans from deep within his chest again. My fingers slide up the back of his head and hold onto his hair, and he smiles against my pussy, looking into my eyes. His own eyes dilate as his tongue peeks out, and with his fingers, he parts my pussy lips to reveal my clit to me.

Then he spits.

Right on it.

"So pretty," he murmurs, then sucks my clit into his mouth, hard, over and over, bringing me to the edge.

My hips jerk and thrust up, and when he shoves two fingers into my soaking pussy, I cry out. My legs close around his head as I rub myself all over his tongue, feeling the stubble as friction, although he doesn't seem to mind. In fact, it only makes him even crazier.

His fingers dig into my inner thighs again, trying to part me, and when I don't relent he bites my clit softly. My legs immediately fall open, and instead of thrusting his fingers back into my pussy, he uses one to thrust it into my ass.

My back arches, bowing off the bed, and I scream. "Fuck!"

Theo thrusts his finger in and out slowly, sucking on my clit, and I feel the familiar tingling all the way down to my toes as I get closer to climax. My nails dig into his skull, tangling in his hair, and I grip him so hard I can see tears in the corner of his eyes. But I don't care as I tighten my fingers even more.

"Yes, Theo." I moan, "Right there. Please don't stop. You're doing so fucking good." I groan when he thrusts another finger into my ass, and just like that, my body goes from trembling to full-body shakes.

He doesn't relent, sucking my clit harder, alternating between flicking and sucking it back between his lips. It's the most glorious feeling, one that I've never experienced. When he begins flicking his tongue again, I ride his face shamelessly. With his free hand, he begins to help me rock my hips while he thrusts into my tight hole. I scream, unable to contain myself, as he pushes me right over the edge of a freaking precipice. I can see myself falling, but there's no way to stop it, and when my body stops shaking and begins to relax, he kisses my clit and licks me clean.

Theo crawls up my body, spreading my legs to settle against them, his hard dick right on my pussy. I'm sure his gray sweatpants are soaked by now, but he still rubs himself against me. It takes me back to that bathroom with his dick inside of me, and it makes me want it so much more all over again.

"Did you like that, baby?" he asks against the shell of my ear, eliciting goosebumps and shivers. "Me on my knees for you?"

"Yes," I reply with a smirk. "Now, you'll have to let me return the favor."

"I will." He nods. "Just not today. We're gonna pace ourselves."

"Are you sure?" I frown.

"Positive." He smiles against my skin, kissing my cheek, then the corner of my mouth.

"If that's what you want."

"What I want is for you to get dressed and eat your breakfast." Theo stands up and takes a step back. "We're gonna go for a walk."

"Where?"

"Do you have to work tonight?"

"No," I reply slowly. "I'm all yours…"

"Yes, you are," he says, handing me my food once more.

I sit on the bed and eat my breakfast—a vegetable and cheese omelet that surprisingly tastes incredible. So he can play hockey, cook, and be funny. What else can the man do? It's kind of annoying how perfect he is. Surely, there's something that will make me cringe. There has to be.

Grabbing my overnight bag, I get dressed quickly, aware of Theo watching me. He looks edible as ever, with his brown hair a tousled mess, his lips still red and swollen from his time between my legs, and his chiseled abs, chest, and shoulders on full display from being shirtless. I kind of want to jump him all over again, not to mention the best orgasm I've ever had is a pretty strong incentive as well.

"You ready?" he asks me, now wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. It's pretty damn cold outside, and thankfully I brought everything I need to brave the weather.

"Yes," I sigh. "But it's so cold outside."

"We can just go by real quick and see the Christmas lights before they take them down," he says. "We don't have to make a day of it."

We're standing outside in the freezing cold a few hours later, staring at Christmas lights. They're very pretty. He didn't mention we were going to the botanical gardens, though now I'm glad since it's been on my bucket list since I got here. I just haven't had the time to come because of work. And Cheyenne said she'd come if she had to, but she's been here many times. So I didn't want to put her through that.

The trees are all covered in twinkly lights, and they're on even though it's not nighttime yet. It's late afternoon. Yeah, so we slept in a lot. But I really needed it because I've been working myself dead.

We walk through the botanical gardens side by side, our jackets brushing against each other with every step, our hands bumping too. It's fucking cold, and I can see my breath fogging in front of my face with every exhale, but I don't complain.

Soon enough, it's finally dark—at five p.m.—and the lights are brighter than ever. I grin as I look up at Theo, and his eyes crinkle in the corners as he returns the smile. He's so freaking beautiful it hurts—inside and out. How did I get lucky enough to know him?

There's a couple making out in front of the trees across from us, and I smirk. "That's a lot of PDA."

"Yeah, I don't think I could do that."

I roll my eyes, knowing that you do shit like that when you're in love. "Not even if it was me?" I tease, then regret it. You're giving mixed signals, Bailey. Cut it out.

"Hell no," he replies with a smile. "I can't imagine shoving my tongue down your throat in public."

"I bet you could for the right girl," I reply, sad all of a sudden at knowing it can never be me.

Even still, he replies, "You're the only girl for me." He grins, a twinkle in his eyes. "My girl." His hand reaches for mine, but I move it out of the way at the last second, pulling back.

"I don't think I'd be able to either," I deflect, and he rears back like I slapped him.

"Then it's a good thing we're just friends with benefits, right?"

I smile, even though I don't feel like doing it. "Yeah. Good thing."

Just like that, the magic is over, and we turn around, heading back to his place. The walk back is awkward, the air charged as the silence swallows us. I can't think of anything to say that will make it better, so I zip my lips until we get back.

He opens the door, and the warmth of the heater envelops me in a tight hug. I can barely feel my hands, and I rub them together in an attempt to warm them up. "Do you have hot chocolate?"

"Yeah, in the pantry, bottom shelf," he replies neutrally.

"Oh, thank God." I grin, trying to lighten the mood. "I can't reach the top one."

"You're just the right size, though."

"I have a special hot chocolate. I'll make it for you," I sing-song. "And then we can make cinnamon rolls together."

"Cinnamon rolls?"

I look in the pantry, finding everything I need. "Yes, Theo. Catch up."

"Alright."

Theo sits at the kitchen island as I make the hot chocolate the way the packets say, heating up the milk in the microwave and then mixing it together. Taking out the whipped cream, I put it on top and then sprinkle the whipped cream with chocolate chips, then call it a day.

"This is your special recipe?" He frowns, his brows coming close together.

"Yes…"

"Bailey, I hate to break it to you, but everything is already pre-made."

"Whatever," I huff. "It doesn't have to be made from scratch for it to be special."

"Let me guess, the cinnamon rolls come from a can that you find in the dairy aisle at the grocery store."

"Actually, no," I say with an eye roll. "Jokes on you because you're actually going to help me make them."

"Well, that sounds like a lot of fun, actually."

After a half hour of mixing, and making the icing, we finally have the dough ready. We leave it on the counter to rise for an hour and a half, then make our way back to the living room to watch The Summer I Turned Pretty Season Two. And this is the moment I realize just how perfect Theodore Anderson is.

And how much it hurts that he can't be mine.

Why am I so damn scared?

And why do I mess everything up?