Chapter 13

Jer, Matt, Oliver, and Noah are all sitting around my coffee table playing Uno—which is my favorite card game—while I grill some steaks. Yeah, it's twenty-eight degrees outside at five p.m., but I'm not letting a little cold stop me from living my best life. That's what jackets are for.

Speaking of jackets, I can't help but remember the fact that Bailey wasn't wearing one in this weather. She's absolutely insane for it, and I'm determined to remind her, even if she probably took it as a joke. It wasn't one. Thankfully, the restaurant was warm, even if all I wanted was to snuggle her in close instead of relying on the heater, yet even I have to admit that wasn't a possibility.

Instead, I had to watch our hands—our fucking pinkies—almost touch multiple times. I had to feel the heat of her body close to mine, and it was driving me insane. I'm not sure that I'm strong enough to just be her friend, not after hanging out with her. There's too much between us—I'm feeling too much. All I can think about is kissing her, probably because she stole that from me. I want to snuggle her close and talk about our entire lives. I want to find her missing pieces and put them back together. I want?—

A lot of things.

And all of them with her.

But I know she's not going to give them to me, and that's why I'm questioning why I'm putting myself through all of this torture. But if friendship is all she will let me have, I'll gladly take it because I'm selfish and don't want her out of my life forever. Not after I've had a taste of her, not without trying to win this girl's heart first. And if I try and fail, at least I'll know I gave it my best shot.

I still can't help but think of that Robert guy, how Bailey said he's the reason for her fear all the time. That she's scared of him, of men in general. What did he do to her? He mentioned she ran away and that he fucked her up, so it must have been very serious. The way she outright rejected the idea of being civilized with me when I was assigned to her as a patient is concerning. And for some odd reason, she loosened up a bit, started trusting me slightly, and I went and ruined all of it by putting my dick inside her.

I'm a world-class prick. However, now there's no going back, so I just have to show her that I don't usually behave that way. I don't know what came over me that day. Maybe it was the fact that we were both feeling vulnerable, and I wanted to help her—us—feel better. Although I never should've done it. I think I scared her away, and all my chances of more are now out the window. But at the same time, I let her be in control. I wanted her to feel empowered, strong, safe. Even though, at the time, I had no idea why she needed it, I could tell that she did.

I flip the steaks and open the sliding glass door, peeking inside at the boys. "You all good in here?"

"Close the doooooor!" Noah yells, and everyone chuckles.

"Noah, you realize you spend your days in low temperatures? It's your job," I tell him as I grin, opening the door wider.

"Yeah, well, I'm not working right now."

"Fair." I nod, closing the door behind me. "Steaks are almost done. Who's making the salad?"

Jeremy stands up, a smile on his face. "I'll do it. Just please don't overcook my steak, for the love of God."

"I'd never do you like that, bro," I reply, making my way back to the balcony with a plate and a pair of tongs.

Once the boys and I are settled at the long dining room table—which I bought just for them because I host a lot—we begin serving ourselves. There's a bowl of garlic mashed potatoes, Caesar salad, and asparagus, as well as the rib-eyes. A feast, really. One I wish I could share with the girl who won't stop invading my thoughts. But maybe soon she'll let me bring her here without getting the wrong impression.

"So, Theo," Jer says between chews. I look at him pointedly, and he waits until he's done swallowing. "Have you talked to coach yet?"

"Uh." I swallow hard, "Not yet. But I have a meeting with him tomorrow."

Noah smiles at me, but it's hard to return it, so instead, I make a half-assed attempt, and they notice. "Hey, everything is going to be okay," Noah reassures me. "You'll be back on the ice in no time."

My stomach drops, because he's just saying that to make me feel better. I don't even know if that's true and it's my body. "Sure." I nod. "I'll know more after the MRI."

"How long will it be until you have it?"

"Another ten days."

Everyone nods quietly. It's an awkward silence—the kind where people don't want to acknowledge something, no matter how obvious it is. And just like that, my good mood is gone, and I want them out. I can't very well say that though, especially because this night has been planned since I was in the hospital. Now we can either play UNO and forget about this, or play video games. Probably the latter, so we don't have to talk to each other.

After about an hour of talking shit at the table, we move to my three-piece sectional. Again, I bought it with the boys in mind, but I don't regret it at all. My living room is spacious enough that it doesn't look crowded with it, and it's great when I fall asleep watching TV. The only thing that's missing is a certain someone to cuddle with—Bailey.

It's so sad that all I've been thinking of ever since I met her is—her. From the moment she walked into my hospital room, I knew. She made my heart race and my palms sweat. I thought I was going to die just from her proximity. But now? I think I'll die without it. Because one taste of her wasn't enough, and I want more. But I also want so much more than what she thinks I must want her for. And this isn't even something I've thought of before. I would give her a relationship. I'd try for her. Who am I kidding? I'd do whatever she wanted. Anything for the smallest scrap of her.

Jeremy and Oliver turn on Call of Duty on the PS5 and get to work. Meanwhile, Noah and Matt sit on the other side of the couch, giving me the space I obviously need. Except not completely, because as soon as I'm about to unlock my phone Matt clears his throat.

"Soooo," he draws the word out. "Did that cute nurse ever stop being mean to you?"

Butterflies fill my stomach at the mention of her. Pathetic. "Um, yeah. She was really nice by the end." I say sarcastically, even though she was.

Jeremy shoots me a knowing look, like he can see right through me, but doesn't say anything.

"Cool, cool," Matt replies. "Are you gonna ask her out or what? You looked like you had a huge crush on her."

I did.

I do.

"Yeah, well, I'm her patient. Or was. But I doubt she'll go out with me." Lies, she already did. But for some reason I don't want to tell them about it. Maybe if I keep it a secret right now, the bubble I find myself living in won't pop just yet. "It's all good. I'm over it."

"Sure." Jeremy adds, "And I'm the queen of England."

"All Hail the Queen, Jeremy."

"We all know you wanted a piece of that," he replies with a grin, glancing away from the TV long enough to get killed. I already had a piece of that, and now I want the whole cake. "Quit lying. When are you gonna see her?"

"Maybe I'll pay her a visit at work and find out." I smirk, knowing I only have to call her at this point. But I'm not telling them shit, nothing of substance.

"You do that, bud." He grins, restarting the game at level one. "And then be a good boy and tell us all about it."

Over my dead body. "Sure."

A few hours later, Jeremy and Oliver are asleep on the floor with my throw pillows, and Matt and Noah have taken over the couch. Quite literally, because I don't even have space to join the sleepover, and my couch is enormous. Just as I'm heading to my room, I stop in my tracks as my phone dings, and I see it's from the last person I expected—Bailey. She hadn't texted me in days, since our non-date. But now that she has, my heart starts galloping faster in my chest, making it hard to breathe.

Bailey

Can I call you?

Theo

Sure! You don't ever have to ask.

I look at the time—two in the morning. She's probably on a short break… and she's choosing to talk to me? My heart does a weird little flutter, and I clutch my chest as the phone begins to ring in my hand. I answer it quickly to not wake anyone up.

"Hey, B." She chuckles and I smile. Her breathy little laugh lights up my insides. "How's work?"

"Boring now that you're not here."

I want to say it's because you're not having sex in bathrooms, but I think it's too early to joke about it. Yeah, definitely too early. "Yeah, I know I'm the life of the party. You don't need to give me a bigger head."

"I don't think that's possible, Theo," Bailey says in a flirty tone, and now I wonder if there is a double meaning behind it. "What have you been up to?"

"Not playing hockey," I reply, then slap a hand to my forehead. How fucking grim. "I've been hanging out with my friends. They're actually sleeping on my couch."

"Wow." She laughs, "That must be a big couch to fit all those hockey players."

"Some took the floor, but uh, yeah—" I scratch the back of my head. "It's a big couch." And I want you on it, with me—cuddled up while I rub your back. "But I'm actually going to my bed."

"Oh—" she half yells. "Of course! I'll, uh, let you go."

Hell no. "I didn't mean to sleep, silly."

"Oh," Bailey replies with an awkward laugh, which I join her in. "Okay. Well, I was calling to ask if you want to—do it again?"

Do what again? That could mean so many things right now. "Umm…do what?"

"Hang out?" I wait for her to catch up, "Oh my God. Please tell me that didn't sound like I was propositioning you."

"I know you're not." I chuckle. "I remember what you sound like when you are."

"And there you go, making it worse!" But instead of it being awkward, we both laugh about it. "You don't have to see me again, you know. If I'm a boring friend…or whatever."

"I want to see you again," I say quickly, too quickly. Eagerly.

"Are you lying?" I can almost see the little frown on her face. The way her perfectly shaped eyebrows draw in, and her mouth turns slightly down, making dimples on her chin appear.

"Why would I lie, Bailey? I'd never lie to you." There's a moment of silence that she doesn't fill, so I continue. "So what do you want to do?"

"You could watch me make a fool of myself." She laughs, but I think it's forced. "Come watch me take a skating class?"

"You want me to come watch you skate with toddlers?" I laugh and she groans, "Fine, but only if we can skate together after."

"I think that can be arranged." She says with what I'm one hundred percent sure is a smile. Even if I can't see it. I think I'm starting to get to know her. "Cheyenne will have a blast seeing me on my ass the whole night. After the toddler class, we can have the rink to ourselves for about thirty minutes before the Zamboni ruins it all for us."

"Sad." I chuckle. "I love skating on fresh ice."

"I don't," she replies quickly. "Something about that wet ice makes me fall even more."

I laugh outright. "You'll get better, B. I'm going to teach you all my tricks."

"Doubtful, Mr. I've been skating for twenty-two years."

"Oh." My lips twitch. "Counting now, are we? I love that you remember."

"I remember everything about you—even medically." We both laugh at that because of course she probably memorized every detail about me. "But I bet you do have a lot of tricks up your sleeve. Please feel free to share them."

"I'll share everything with you," I tell her, and she chokes on something, but I just keep going. "But how about you tell me more about you? Ms. I Don't Have Your Medical Chart To Stalk You. It's unfair."

"Excuse me?" She cackles. "I've never stalked you, just did my job."

"But you definitely have the advantage now." I point out, "And you can't even deny it."

"Fine. I broke my arm when I was four, got stitches on my hairline when I was seven, and chipped my tooth when I was fifteen. Cheerleading was brutal." She sighs. "Does that make you feel better?"

"Tell me more about that chipped tooth, Bailey," I tease.

Bailey laughs and I just know she's rolling her eyes. "That's what you want to know about? Oh my God, Theo. Yeah, I chipped one of my front teeth when I fell off a pyramid. Happy? It's all fixed now, no one but you will know better."

"I just had to find something not perfect about you."

"There's a lot to unpack there, Theo." She chuckles. "I'll have you know there's plenty not perfect about me. It's actually a little scary, and I bet you scare easily."

"Not when it comes to you, sweet Bailey." I tell her honestly, "I want to know more."

"Maybe another time, Theo." I groan, knowing she has to hang up. "Gotta go back to work now. But we can go to the rink tomorrow if you want?"

"I want anything you want."

She's silent for a second. "It's settled then. See you soon."

"See you soon," I whisper as she hangs up.

I get comfortable in bed, fluffing my pillow and putting the cold side against my cheek. There's something about her that has me so fixated, and nothing other than hockey has held my interest for this long. All I want to do is see her again, spend time with her.

But mostly, I just want to stop wanting those things because something tells me it will hurt so bad in the end.

It's cold at the arena, and something like nostalgia hits me square in the chest. Not being here for the past week and a half has been possibly the hardest thing ever, but hey, I've made it without a mental breakdown—so far. I don't consider myself lucky because I know I'm on the precipice of one. It's right there, almost within reach. All I'd have to do is stretch my hand slightly and?—

"Anderson!" my coach barks. "Office, now."

Okay, so I was a little late. I'm just nervous, but he's not going to care about that, so I just mumble, "Yes, Coach O."

I go into his office, a large space with light hardwood floors and a mahogany desk in the middle of the room. There are bookshelves all around housing trophies. It's a sight to see, one that I wish for my future. Which is exactly why we're here, to talk about it. So I take one of the chairs across from his desk and sit down—a really comfortable leather, by the way.

"How you feelin' son?"

My shoulders drop, and I instantly relax. "I feel great." Not a lie, actually. "I'm ready to come back. Put me in, coach."

Coach Oelschlaeger chuckles, "I know you want to be back on the ice, but right now, you're the biggest priority. We want you to heal before you can come back so that you can be at your very best."

"And when will that be?"

"You have one more week on the bench, and then you get your MRI on the last day. So, depending on the results, we will decide whether you're benched for longer or if we put you back in."

The little flip my stomach does is scary. I can't decipher if it's from fear or excitement. Maybe both. I nod, "Got it."

"It'll be okay, Anderson." He says, something like sympathy in his eyes.

"Right." I fake a smile, "Am I good to go?" The last thing I want to do is spend more time here without working. It's been hard to even show up for this meeting as it is, seeing all my friends have ice time before the game tonight. A game I'm going to miss, one of the few I already have. And I hate that the prick who put me in the hospital has power over me right now. He's probably laughing at me all the way from fucking Vancouver.

"Yeah." Coach O nods, his gray brows furrowing. "Don't worry about anything. You'll be just fine."

With his last word, I get up from the chair and exit the office, immediately hitting the cold arena air as I try to leave as quickly as possible and without anyone spotting me. I'm sure they're going to hear about the meeting from someone, but I just don't want to stop and chat. No, I want to get the hell out of here. It's been three days since I've seen Bailey, and our date is tonight—our friend date. Either way, I'm excited about it, and even though she warned me she sucks at skating, I don't even care.

I just want to spend time with her.