Chapter 9

Today has been a long day. The only positive is that Bailey works again tonight. I had yet another CT scan to monitor my brain bleed, and thankfully the doctor was quick to come by with an update. The bleed is basically nonexistent at this point, and he's no longer worried about it.

Discharge is on the horizon, and yet I'm dreading it. What will happen when I leave this hospital? Will I ever see Bailey again? And why am I so invested?

Speak of the devil, and she will appear. Linda and Bailey walk into the room, talking amongst themselves. A grin stretches my face as she writes her name on the board, leaving out her work number. My smile falls as she walks away, opening the door to leave the room with the other nurse. Not even sparing me one glance.

I clear my throat. There's no way in hell I'm letting her walk out of this room right now. What the fuck happened between last night and tonight? Why is she acting like this? "Bailey," I call out, and she stops. Both she and Linda turn around to look at me. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Linda looks over at Bailey with a frown when she begins to shake her head, and when she notices we have an audience, she sighs and says, "Sure, Mr. Anderson."

So we're back to that.

Square fucking one.

But even still, I force myself to smile until the other nurse leaves and we're alone again. "Where is the girl from last night?" I ask her, hurt in my voice.

"She doesn't exist." I search her gaze, even as she averts it, avoiding me. "It was a fluke."

"Bullshit," I growl, and when she flinches, I breathe in deeply. "She was right here. Why did she leave?"

Bailey sighs, and she looks like she's in physical pain. "I'm not a vulnerable person. I can't be that with you—or anyone else. I don't know what you want from me, but it's not happening."

I sit up in bed, shoving the blankets aside, my nostrils flaring with my anger, and then stand up. For just a moment, I'm rooted in place, but when she takes a step back, I follow her. Unable to stop myself. Apparently, I have no self-control when I'm around her. "Bailey?—"

"Stop."

I don't. I keep moving forward until we're toe to toe. I lift my hand and she flinches, but I caress her cheek softly with my knuckles. Tears well up in her eyes, and I frown.

"Why won't you let me in?"

"I c-c-can't." Her voice trembles. "Last night can't happen again. I can't?—"

Bailey takes another step backwards until she runs into the bathroom door, and she whimpers when I make it to her. I don't press myself against her, instead I stand in front of her and stay still. She sizes me up, her eyes traveling up and down my body like she's searching for something—and I want her to approve. Desperately, more than anything, I hope she finds whatever it is she's looking for.

"Yes, it can. Let me be there for you," I whisper, her wide eyes connecting with mine. "Just for a few minutes, if that's all I can get."

Bailey takes a deep breath and reaches behind her, opening the door. Slipping into the bathroom, she grabs my arm and all but drags me in there with her. My back meets the closed door, and I hold my breath, waiting for her to make the move. Only she doesn't, so I grab her hand and pull her into me, cupping the back of her head with my free one.

"I want you to know that I see you," I breathe against her lips, brushing mine against hers. "All of you." Bailey fists my shirt, pulling me impossibly closer as she closes her eyes. "And if you allow me, I want to see even more."

My fingers tighten in her hair, and I nuzzle my nose against hers.

"There's nothing else to see," she whispers.

"Liar," I call her out, and she smiles against my lips. "Let me help you feel something again."

She chuckles, "I don't want to feel more." My stomach sinks. "I want to feel less."

I spin us until she's against the door, then drop my hands. "I can make that happen."

Her wide eyes meet mine, her lips parted as she gazes up at me. She looks so dainty, so fragile. I don't want to break her. I want to put her back together. But damn it, I need her in my arms. Now.

"Theo—"

Fuck.

"Say my name again," I beg her as my nostrils flare. "Please."

"Theo," Bailey repeats in a breathy voice. Her eyes show her longing, and I'm powerless. I step up to her, questions in my own eyes. Can I touch you? Can I do this? Will you let me? She nods as if she knows exactly the words that are about to leave my lips. "Yes."

The cold tile meets my knees as I kneel in front of her, and my hand hovers, seeking direction. I know exactly where I want it, but I need her consent. I have to have it, otherwise I won't touch her. Bailey's lower lip trembles as I peer up at her, and she stares up at the ceiling instead. Just as I'm about to let my hand drop, she grabs my wrist and yanks. I don't give in, clenching my jaw as I await her words.

She drags my hand to her hip, nodding at me, and I purse my lips. "Words, Bailey," I tell her. "I need you to spell it out for me."

"Touch me," she whispers so low I barely hear it, and a groan travels up my throat as my fingers squeeze her hip. "Please." She mouths, no sounds coming out.

"How?" I ask her, hooking my thumbs into her scrub pants and dragging them down slowly, waiting for her to back out. But she never does. She lets me. She wants this. I see her hands shaking from my periphery, and I don't want to make her nervous, but the truth is that, for some reason, I am, too. "I'll do whatever you want. Just tell me what to do."

Bailey licks her lips, a tear spilling free. She immediately wipes it away. "Lower my pants and underwear to my ankles." I exhale a shallow breath and do as I'm told. This is what she needs. Control. And I'm going to give it back to her.

I grab onto her lacy thong and drag it down to meet her scrub pants, lowering them all the way to her ankles, then helping her step out of them. My head tips back to look into her wide green eyes, and she seems like she wants to back out. But I don't want that now, although I'd do whatever she said at this point.

Surprising me, she strips off her scrubs shirt and drops it on the ground next to the rest of her clothes. We're in this bathroom—no lock on the door—where we could get caught at any moment, and the only thing keeping me from seeing all of her is a fucking bra. I want to take it off and run my hands all over her body, only I know I can't. Instead, a bright red scar catches my attention. It's on her ribs, puckered and angry. The only imperfection I see on her.

I lean in and kiss her scar, my lips lingering on it, and she gasps.

"And then?" I ask her, my voice husky. I've forced myself not to look at her cunt, but the scent of her arousal is driving me insane. I close my eyes and inhale, my nostrils flaring, and wait for instructions.

"Touch my—legs."

I begin to run my fingertips up her legs, all the way down from her ankles to the inside of her thighs, a slow torture even for me. I scoot closer on my knees, still refusing to look at her most intimate place. Because I know if I look, I will lose all control, and I need to keep myself in check for her. Especially right now.

I press my nose to the inside of her thigh and drag it up a little. "Is this okay?" I ask her, running my lips against her skin too.

"Mmm." She tries, and I stop. "Yes. Keep going."

"Now…what?" I ask her through a breath, getting closer to that intoxicating scent: roses and her. My lips trail to her groin and I stop.

She huffs. "Now lick me."

I part my lips and take her skin between them, sucking the soft flesh of her upper thigh, and she growls at me. Growls. Her fingers come to the hair at the nape of my neck, and she tugs me off her with a popping sound. Before I can even think about what she's doing, she shoves me face first into her pelvis, then tilts her hips up.

My lips land on her pubic bone, and I smirk. "Here?"

"Lower."

"How about now?" I ask her, nipping at the flesh right above her bare pussy lips. "Here?"

"Theo," she groans, pulling my hair. It hurts like hell and I wince. "Oh, shit. Fuck, I'm sorry?—"

"Don't apologize." I pull back and grab her thigh, putting her leg over my shoulder, and look at her. Really look at her. She squirms when my eyes linger on her cunt, memorizing the rosy hue of her lips, the way she's fucking dripping for me.

She's beautiful, perfect. I take a slow, tentative lick, her taste exploding on my tongue, and I hum. My tongue laps over her from entrance to clit once more, and she groans, her fingers tightening in my hair. God, my head is gonna hurt after this. "There?"

"More…"

So I do it again, swirling my tongue over her tight bud, and she moans. The sound sends a shiver down my spine and my stomach flips. Something about her makes me feel different. Like I'm new at this, and it's weird but also good at the same time. It's like this is the first time I'm hearing a woman moan all over again. And maybe it is—because none of them were her.

I'm vaguely aware of us being in a hospital bathroom, although thankfully, she's against the door, so if anyone were to try to come in, it'd give me at least a second or two to get my shit together.

Bailey moans when I circle my tongue against her clit, and I grip my cock over my underwear. "Shhh, baby," I groan. "We have to be really quiet."

I suck her clit into my mouth and slowly insert two fingers into her wet heat, giving her a chance to deny me, to tell me to stop. Instead, her smooth walls clamp around me and her fingers release my hair to find the skin of her thigh, where she claws at herself. After a moment of hesitation, I begin to move them in a come-here motion, rubbing her in a way that has her tightening her leg over my shoulder.

The sounds of her wetness echo in the small bathroom, and it makes me so hard it's painful. My dick is pressed against the waistband of my boxer briefs, straining to get free, and I breathe through it. It's not about me right now—not unless she wants it to be.

Letting go of her clit, I swirl my tongue over it and continue to fuck her with my fingers, slow but rough. "Oh, God." She moans, "Mmmm."

I feel her legs begin to shake, and I take that as my cue to suck on her clit—hard. Her breaths turn to pants quickly, and her moans pick up until it's all I hear. I look up at her to see her head thrown back against the door. Lips parted on a moan, her cheeks red, wholly flushed.

"Just like—" She groans, and I suck even harder. "That. Oh!"

With one more thrust of my fingers, she comes, and I don't close my eyes for one damn second because it's too beautiful of a sight to miss. Her hands both come to the back of my head as she shifts her hips, her fingers digging into my neck. I moan against her, which makes her fingers curl, and when she's done she doesn't push me away. No, she pulls me in harder, like she wants the sensitivity that comes after.

Oh, fuck.

Bailey pushes me away suddenly, and I remove my fingers from her, the wetness dripping down my knuckles. Making eye contact, I bring my fingers to my lips and take a tentative lick, then suck the wetness off them. She takes her bottom lip between her teeth and bites, letting it drag slowly until she lets go of it.

I take a deep breath and start to get up, but she shakes her head, so I stop. "What do you want, Bailey?"

"You." She breathes, her cheeks turning a deep shade of red. She's embarrassed. She wants something but doesn't know how to ask for it.

"You want me to fuck you?"

She shakes her head slowly and looks at the ground. "I want—" With a deep breath, she tries again. "I want to do it."

"You want to ride my dick, baby?" I ask her softly, and the fire flaring in her eyes is enough to have pre-cum leaking from me. Oh my God. "You want to be in control?" She nods, and I grab her hand, pulling her to me until she falls to her knees in front of me. "Look at me, Bailey. Whatever it is that you want, it's already yours. Just tell me, and I'll give it to you."

"Take off your underwear," Bailey demands softly, almost as a question, but I don't overthink it. I take them off, and then without even considering how cold it must be, I sit my ass on the freezing bathroom tiles against the door.

Bailey's eyes widen when they fall to my dick, and with one hand I grip it, giving it a slow tug that has my lips turning up when she can't look away. "What are you waiting for, baby?" I whisper. "Come sit on it."

Seeming to think about it, she pauses, but then I realize she's trying to hear if anyone is coming. If we get caught, she'd be so fucked. Except I can't even think about that right now. Not when she's crawling up to me and spreading her legs, sinking down onto my thighs.

Her firm ass leans on me, and she looks down at my dick as if in awe. Her hand reaches out tentatively, and she wraps her dainty fingers around me. As soon as she grips me, I let my head fall back to the door.

"So big, Theo." She looks at me as she says it, and I lower my chin to gaze into her eyes. "Don't make fun of me; it's been a long time."

"I would never." I grip her chin between my thumb and forefinger. "I could never make fun of you, Bailey. Go as fast or slow as you need to."

Her knees come to the ground beside my thighs as she lifts up from me and directs my dick to her entrance. At first contact, I notice two things: she's so wet and warm. When she sinks down on the first inch, my eyes literally roll to the back of my head. She wasn't joking. It's either been a long time, or she's a virgin because she's barely budging—even though her wetness is literally dripping down my shaft.

My hands fall to her hips, squeezing lightly. "Bounce," I tell her, and she does it slowly. "There you go, Bailey. Oh, God," I groan. "You're taking me so fucking well."

Bouncing her on my dick, she finally sinks all the way down, and we both moan together when I bottom out. Her hands fall to my chest, her thighs squeeze against mine, and when she pushes up and sinks back down, my head falls back against the door once more.

I close my eyes for a moment, wanting to savor the feeling of her cunt squeezing me, and when her breathy little moan reaches my ears, they fly open again. "Do that again, Bailey," I demand, grabbing her hips and helping her make that circular motion she just did that had her making that sound for me. "I love the sounds you make for me. Give me one more. Let me memorize it before you disappear from my life for good."

"Theo," she groans as I direct her hips so she's rubbing her clit against me, the slickness of her spreading over my lower abdomen and pelvis. "Yes."

She immediately changes the rhythm though, lifting off my dick slowly and then slamming down on it roughly. My eyes roll to the back of my head, my fingers gripping onto her hips, and her nails dig into my chest. I hear myself panting, my moans drowning my breathing every few seconds, and my balls drawing up into my body.

Goddamn.

Bailey feels unreal, and when my eyes are able to focus again, they trace all her features. Her beautiful hooded green eyes, small, straight nose, and full lips. Whatever she's doing, she loves because she bounces faster and harder, bracing herself on my shoulders. The door is creaking from how hard she's bouncing on my dick, but I can't seem to give a damn. It takes everything in me not to come right fucking now—I breathe in slowly through my nose, then exhale it even slower.

Her moans begin to crescendo, and I decide to help her out by pressing my thumb to her clit while I grip her with the rest of my hand. As soon as I begin to move it in circles, she whimpers. It's not long before she starts shaking on top of me—again. I love the sight, and even as my spine tingles and my balls draw up even more, I don't dare close my eyes. If I miss something, I might just die.

"Yes," I moan. "Ride my dick faster." She pants as she speeds up, moaning louder until I clamp my hand over her mouth, but even then she doesn't stop.

Bailey bites my hand as her cunt flutters, drawing blood, I'm sure, because it stings, and she squeezes me so hard my toes curl. After one more time of her slamming herself down on me, I'm coming inside of her.

Her forehead comes to rest against mine, both of our chests heaving, and I trail my hand from her hip all the way to her cheek and cup it. Our eyes meet, her green ones dilating as she stares into mine, and when I lean in to kiss her she pulls away from me completely.

"You're not that lucky, big guy," she says with a low chuckle, but the spell is broken, I can tell.

I frown, "So I can be inside you but not kiss you?"

"You are correct," she replies nonchalantly, getting off me and walking to her tangled scrubs and underwear.

"Can I at least help you clean up?" I ask her, noticing her hands are shaking. "Are you okay?"

"N-n-o." Bailey says through a shaky breath. "I'm not o-fucking-kay. I just had sex with a stranger—my patient—in the bathroom at work. Clearly, I've gone insane!"

"Lower your voice." I hiss, "You're not insane—this was amazing. But if you need to feel less guilty, consider me a charitable man. I seduced you, that's all."

"We both know?—"

"Tell yourself…" I take a deep breath, my eyes stinging for whatever reason. I can't take her rejection right now. I just want her out. "Whatever you need to get through it. Just don't lie to yourself and say it didn't mean anything."

"It didn't—" She starts. "It was a mistake."

"Stop." I exhale roughly, getting up from my place in front of the door and pulling up my underwear. "Bailey, I can handle a lot, but not this. So if you're going to hurt my heart, please stop now. Just…leave."

We look at each other while she puts on her pants, me purposely keeping my eyes on her face, and she nods. "I'm gonna—go."

Of course, you are, sweet Bailey.

She's scared of something, I don't know what, but whatever it is, it's ruling her life. I want to make it better, so slap a Band-Aid on it. Or even better, help her scars fade…yet I have a nagging suspicion that she will never allow it. I know she enjoyed herself at least a little if the noises she was making were any indication. However, after everything was said and done, she thought it was a fucking mistake.

A mistake.

Iwas a mistake.

How am I supposed to get over that?

I felt so whole while it happened—everything felt better, even if for a short moment. But the instant gratification didn't pay off. Now, I just feel empty—even worse than I did initially.

Especially when she walks out the door and leaves me behind.