36. Chapter Thirty-Six

36

Chapter Thirty-Six

Phoenix

T he empty waiting room that the staff brought us to is freezing. Seats that are too hard line the walls, leaving the middle of the room completely bare. The three older Byrne brother’s have congregated along the back wall. Heads drawn down and low whispers exchanged between them. I’m too far away to hear what they’re saying and honestly I don’t care to know. My back is to the wall closest to the door, my mom on my left, and Clara on my right. One of Kieran’s hoodies dwarfs my body, and I sit with my legs drawn up and my head resting on my knees. My head is killing me, the lights hurt them, and I just want Kieran.

Rowan keeps looking over here. I’m sure it’s at Clara who’s holding a sweet sleeping Rhett. We haven’t been here long, but we know it’s going to be a long night. I know I’m in shock, the dead feeling in my heart tells me as much. My mom rubs my back as we sit here like she used to when I first came to live with her and would have nightmares. God, how I wish this was a nightmare. Rowan’s head comes up again, this time his eyes lock with mine, making my stomach drop.

They’re talking about me, I’m sure about how all of this is my fault. What am I even doing? This is my fault, that’s his family. They don’t want me here. I should leave, but even as I think it I can’t force myself out of this chair. I just need to know he’s okay, I need to know he’s alive, then I’ll leave. Taking the hood of Kie’s sweatshirt, I pull it over my head and cry silently into my arms that are resting on my knees.

I’m not sure how long I stay like that, but eventually I feel warm calloused hands take mine and pull gently on them, looking up I’m caught off guard by medium green eyes, and shaggy hair. Allowing him to pull me into a standing position he wraps me up in his arms. They feel safe, not Kieran level safe, but safe enough to lose my composure. My hands fist Mac’s shirt as my knees buckle causing him to have to tighten his grip on me to keep me from crumbling to the floor. Feeling his tears begin to soak the top of my head, we just stand here and cry into each other. The only noise in the empty room is our sniffles and ragged breaths.

We’ve finally stopped falling apart enough for Declan to force Mac and I in a hospital chair made for two people. My head leans on his shoulder as I find the strength to murmur what I’ve been scared to voice.

“I’m so sorry.” It’s just loud enough for the three older boys to hear me.

Dec grips the back of my neck in a reassuring squeeze, “ Sorry for what Pigeon? This isn’t your fault.”

I scoff, he can’t be serious, “Declan, I literally brought all this to your front door. I should have just stayed in Arizona.”

“If you want to get technical, I brought this to our front door. I’m the one who brought Clara and Rhett here, which brought you, and I’ll be damned if I’m apologizing for that. This was no one’s fault aside from David and Robert’s, who are both dead and in hell, thanks to you and Mac. You did good today, kid. When he makes it through this, he’s going to be so proud of you.” Rowan runs his hand through my hair so gently like I’ve seen him do to Rhett, like I’m his child too.

I flinch at the contact, the same time Roe’s fingertips brush the golf ball sized knot under my hair. “Is this from David?” He growls out with barely contained rage.

“It’s fine, it’s not a big deal.”

Declan’s fingers inspect the area as soon as Rowan steps away with a gentleness that I’ve never witnessed him use on someone who isn’t Clara or Rhett. “Nix, you really need to let a doctor look at that, that’s not good.”

“What are you? A doctor now instead of a made man?” He recoils at my harsh voice, and I recoil because the sound of my own voice fucking hurts. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lashed out like that.”

“No you’re right. I’m not a doctor but I know a lot about this stuff. I’ve studied every medical book I can get my hands on since I was about ten. I know what I’m talking about here.”

“Okay, fine. Someone can check me out, after I’ve seen Kieran. Deal?”

He nods and shakes my hand, sealing our deal, “Fine.” What he doesn’t realize is that they can check me out from whatever room Kie is in. I’m not leaving his side .

The twins are huddled together on the far wall by themselves. Those poor boys are barely men and they’ve already witnessed so much destruction. They’re going to get out, just like Kieran said, they’re going to do amazing things, far away from here. The lucky ones. Just as I think it, the door to the waiting room slams open and the rest of their crew fills in creating a bubble around them, like a physical barrier making sure nothing can get through to them.

“Kieran said they’re all going to get out of here. They aren’t destined for this life, they’re made for greater things.” I say watching the little village huddle around trying to figure out how to fix this.

Declan smiles fondly, “They get on our last nerves. Mine, Rowans, and Mac’s, but they don’t bother Kie. He’s always rooted for them to get out and never turn back. I think they may do it. Between them all they’ve seen so much loss and hurt.”

Mac nods in agreement, “They’ll do it, together. Just like we do. Only we chose to stay.”

Rowan nods in agreement before going over to his wife and taking their son out of her arms. He’s got a stone wall up but he isn’t fooling me, that’s his kid in that OR right now. Kieran’s my entire heart and soul, but he’s Rowan’s life. Just like the rest of them, Clara, and Rhett. He can’t wrap his arms around Kieran right now, so instead he cradles my godson to his chest and buries his face in Rhett’s hair to give himself a moment.

* * *

The swinging open of the waiting room door pulls me out of my meditative state. Everyone thought I’d fallen asleep but that’s not possible, not until I have my eyes on Kie. I’ve just not wanted to talk to anyone. My eyes spring open as a doctor who looks utterly exhausted in dark blue scrubs walks in the room. He takes his scrub cap off and runs his hands through his light brown hair.

“The family of Kieran Byrne?” I shoot to my feet and move to stand by Rowan, everyone else at our backs. It’s probably a bitch move but I don’t care right now. No one says a word about it.

“That’s us, Doc.” Rowan answers, and the faintest bit of fear seeps through his voice.

“Mr. Byrne arrived with a GSW to the chest. We immediately took him to the OR, the bullet missed his right atrium by about a centimeter. We were able to remove the bullet, but we did have to revive Mr. Byrne on the table multiple times. For now we have him on the ventilator until his body is strong enough to work on his own. I can bring you up to the floor he’ll be on, but please be advised only two people are allowed back at a time to limit the risk of germs and infection getting to him while he heals.”

“Of course, thank you doctor.” We all follow the doctor up to the ICU and into a new waiting room.

“Who am I bringing back?” The doctor looks around the large number of people we have.

“I’m going, and so is she.” Rowan speaks up pointing to himself and then to me. I look around at everyone looking for anger or disapproval but find none. So my head nods on its own volition. I follow Rowan and the doctor through the doors of the unit and to the outside of his room. We stop at the door and the doctor turns back to us .

“Take a moment to prepare yourself, this isn’t an easy thing to see.” We both nod before the doctor leads us into the large hospital room. In the middle of the room is a bed, as I look in it my breath is knocked out of my lungs. My strong, protective man is lying there, with tubes, IVs and wires coming out of all different directions. His face is completely relaxed as if he’s sleeping, but my brain, as well as the tube in his mouth, and his nose tells me that’s not the case.

“Fuck. Fuck!” Rowan turns abruptly towards the door, his hands fisting his hair as he pulls. “Goddammit, Kieran.” He takes a few deep, albeit choppy breaths before his watery eyes come to mine.

“I’m so sorry, Pigeon. So sorry you have to see him like this. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect him from this.”

On instinct my arms wrap around Rowan. It’s awkward and Rowan is as stiff as a board, but I don’t care, he needs this. “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. Remember we just went over this earlier. You didn’t hold the gun or pull the trigger. You’re allowed to be upset Roe. He’s just as much your son as he was your parents’.”

He nods in acknowledgment before putting that mask firmly back into place. He moves around the bed to a chair that’s in the back corner of the room and moves it right beside his bed, before gesturing for me to sit. Not needing to be told twice I move to the chair and grasp his large hand in my much smaller one. Roe leans down, placing a kiss on the crown of my head before moving to the other side of the bed. I lay my head down on the hospital mattress, and for the first time since he was shot I allow my eyes to close and sleep to take me.

* * *

It’s been days since that night, five to be exact. Kieran’s still asleep, but they’re taking his tube out today. I haven’t left this spot, besides to go to the bathroom, since we got here. Roe must have paid someone off because everyone’s allowed in here now. Even Rhett, who isn’t supposed to be allowed in here for another thirteen years.

The doctor came in that morning to check me out, informing me that I did in fact have a concussion. They tried to move me to a room for observation but I refused to move from this spot, so the nurse comes in and checks on Kieran and myself at the same time. Everyone’s in here right now and it feels like so much. I respect their need to be here but they have each other and I have him. Well that isn’t entirely true. I have Clara and Rhett, but right now all I want is Kieran.

The doctor comes in to check on him and when he steps away from him he smiles at all of us.

“His oxygen level and lung function is looking really good. I think we take the breathing tube out.”

“When?” Rowan asks before the doctor has finished talking.

“Right now, actually. We need everyone to clear out. Phoenix, you can stay and it’ll only take a few minutes.”

Rowan eyes me skeptically before mouthing, ‘Want someone to stay with you?’

I shake my head in response. I’m okay by myself, and I’ll be even better when my best friend wakes up.

The whole process only takes a few minutes, and next thing I know I’m back at his side, my hand grasping his, and my head laying against his hip. I hear everyone filter back in but I don’t open my eyes until I hear the doctor come in and tell us the removal went perfectly.

“What do we do now?” I ask him in a quiet voice, partially because of my head, and partially because I’m scared of the answer.

“Now we wait.”