Chapter 11

CHAPTER

ELEVEN

Courtney

The kids and the grandparents have gone home for the night. Carol and Raymond took Ada, Finn, Orion, Blakely, Beckham, and Caden. They seemed confident that they could handle all six kids on their own. Alyssa's mom took Ivy, and Deacon's parents took Brynlee, Remi, and Leo. That leaves the twins, who are three months old, left with the rest of us.

"Ladies' night!" Palmer announces.

"Yes!" Ramsey cheers.

"This is the first time none of us has been pregnant in ages," Alyssa says, holding up her drink.

"Right?" Crosby agrees.

"About that," Scarlett speaks up. Her face is red, and she takes a sip from her water bottle.

"What?" all the ladies shriek. Everyone descends on her as they offer hugs of congratulations.

"Everyone but Scarlett." Kennedy laughs. "Sorry, babe. We'll have one for you."

"That is the least that we can do," Jade says, holding her drink with a nod toward Scarlett.

"How far along are you?" Crosby asks.

"We just found out, so it's early. I go to the doctor next week. If my calculations are correct," Scarlett answers, "I'm thinking six weeks or so."

"I'm so happy for you. Does he know?" Jordyn asks, nodding toward where the brothers and Deacon are all gathered in the opposite corner. I smile when I see Brooks and Sterling, both with a twin in their arms.

"Yeah, he knows. We're excited," Scarlett says.

"Will there ever really be a time when one of us isn't pregnant?" Stella asks.

"It's gonna be a while," Palmer admits.

"We love you, Scar, but we're still drinking," Ramsey tells her, laughing. "Kid free means these mommas get a break. You'll understand all too soon."

Scarlett's shoulders shake with silent laughter. "It's fine, and I get it. I'll live vicariously through you. In fact, I'll be the bartender." She stands and walks over to the fridge and grabs a tray to pour shots.

I don't know what they are, but they taste like pineapple and coconut and they're delicious.

"So, Courtney." Jordyn grins. "How are things going with Merrick?"

I shrug. "He's been great through all of this." That sounds like a good enough reply.

"Uh-huh." Alyssa smiles. "Now tell us the real answer."

"The answer to what?" a male voice asks. We all freeze and turn to see Sterling standing behind his wife.

"Nothing, babe. Just girl talk."

"We like girl talk," Brooks says, joining us.

Before we can answer, the rest of the guys join us. Each of them is going to stand behind their wives, and Merrick comes to stand behind me. My heart flutters. I know he isn't mine, but my heart has a hard time remembering that.

"Here we go, ladies." Scarlett delivers the shots to each of us.

"You not having one, Scar?" Rushton asks her.

She looks over at Archer, and he nods. "Not for about eight more months, at the least."

The guys respond just as we did. Archer gets hugs, and then Scarlett. This family, they're so close, and I love how everyone gets along so well. You'd think with this many people, there would be fights, but not that I've seen. I'm sure they argue, but they take family seriously, so I can't imagine they hold grudges.

"I take it we're all the designated drivers?" Orrin asks, smiling down at his wife.

"Yep," Jade says, head tilted back to look up at him upside down.

I'm smiling as I take in each of the brothers with their wives when I feel hot breath against my cheek.

"You doing okay?"

I turn to face Merrick. "Yeah, they're all great. Thank you for including me."

"You let me know when you're ready to go home." He holds up a bottle of water. "I'm not drinking. None of us are." He motions to where his brothers stand.

"How did you know?"

He shrugs. "It was us last time, so it's the ladies' turn tonight."

"That's... amazing," I say with a swoony breath. It's obvious I'm already feeling the effects of the alcohol.

Merrick chuckles softly. "It's okay to let loose, Court. I've got you. I promise."

"That's a first," I tell him, smiling.

"Another one?"

"Yeah, you seem to be racking them up."

"I'd take all of them if you let me." He kisses my cheek sweetly before pulling away and standing up.

My face is hot, not from the alcohol consumption but from where his lips were just pressed against my skin.

"We're on baby duty," Ryder says. "You ladies do your thing."

"Not you." Archer points at Scarlett playfully.

"Wife, I'm watching you," Declan teases Kennedy.

"You know you like it when I get a little... loose." She giggles, and everyone cracks up at her innuendo.

"We like loose." Deacon grins at Ramsey, leaning over to kiss her.

"Yes, we do," she says.

"Let us know if you need us," Maverick says, and just as quickly as they appeared, they all walk back to the corner where they were sitting.

"That"—Jordyn points at me—"was not nothing. He's into you."

"He's pretending."

"Um, no, he's not," Palmer speaks up.

"We've known him longer. He's not just pretending," Ramsey assures me.

"That's the alcohol talking," I mutter. I raise my shot, and everyone follows suit. Scarlett holds up her water bottle with a wide smile on her face.

"Down the hatch, ladies," Jade announces, and we all tip our shots back.

Thankfully, they don't drill me with more questions I don't have answers to. Instead, we talk about jobs, kids, the guys, and so much more. We take more shots, and we even have a dance party.

That's why I'm currently sitting on the edge of my seat, sweating my ass off. We're all in the same state, hot, tired, and well past tipsy.

"You ready to head home?" Merrick asks.

"Yes, please."

He smiles, and offers me his hand, which I take, allowing him to pull me up. We say our goodbyes, though it turns out everyone is leaving at the same time. We make our way outside in one large group. Lots of shouting goodbyes, waves, and honks fill the night air as everyone heads home.

"Are you okay with staying at my place tonight? I don't want you to be alone in case you get sick in the middle of the night."

"Aw, Merrick Kincaid, you like me," I say, slurring my words.

"You're not so bad," he teases, reaching over and placing his hand on my thigh.

"I want to hold your hand," I blurt. Before I have time to be embarrassed about what I'm asking for, Merrick turns his hand over, palm up, and I entwine my fingers through his.

"My place?" he asks again.

"Do I get to sleep in your bed again?"

"Yes."

"Will you hold me?"

"If that's what you want."

"What do you want?" I counter. The alcohol is making me speak more freely.

"I want you in my bed. In my arms."

"Naked?" I blurt.

He squeezes my hand. "Is that what you want?"

"Hell yes." I squeak and slap my free hand over my mouth. "Truth serum," I mutter, making him laugh.

"I don't know. You've had a lot to drink, and I don't want you to wake up with regrets in the morning."

"I'm sober," I say, forcing myself to sit up straighter in the seat. "Seeee," I reply, making him laugh.

"If you say so."

"I do. I'm a grown-ass woman, and I'm standing up for what I want, and I want to be naked in your bed with you, and I want you to hold me."

"Two out of three isn't bad," he replies.

"I'm not drunk."

"You are, Court."

"Fine. I'll drink water and eat some bread or crackers or something. We can watch a movie until I sober up."

"Anything you want, gorgeous."

"I want you naked." I huff in irritation, making him laugh yet again. He's pissing me off, so I close my eyes, letting my head rest on the seat, and drift off to sleep.

I wake with a start. My head is pounding, my mouth feels like cotton, and I have to pee. I toss off the covers and move Merrick's arm that's holding me tightly.

"You need help?" he asks groggily.

"No," I croak. I stumble my way to the bathroom and close the door before turning on the light. I wince at the brightness and half blindly make my way to the toilet to relieve myself. I'm in another one of his T-shirts, but I don't remember how I got in it. Once I handle my business, I wash my hands and spy that the toothbrush I used the last time I stayed is still in the holder next to his.

My heart stalls, then does a flip in my chest at the sight. That's a piece of me, a piece he kept sitting in his bathroom. Grabbing the toothbrush, I quickly brush my teeth before using my hands to slurp down some of the ice-cold water.

With two of my three issues handled, I dig around in the medicine cabinet until I find a bottle of headache medicine and take two tablets, washing them down with another palm full of water. Turning off the light, I make my way back to bed.

"Better?" Merrick asks, holding the covers up so I can slide in next to him.

"Much. I don't remember getting changed."

"I helped you."

"You should have just left me naked," I grumble. The quiet shake of his body behind mine is my only indication that he heard me. I turn in his arms and place my hand against his cheek. "Why didn't you?" I'm sober now. Well, sober-ish. Enough that I'm no longer slurring my words and still loose enough to be bold with my words.

"Because I didn't want you to have regrets."

"Would you regret it?"

"Never, Court. I will never regret any of my time with you," he says, reverently.

I allow his words time to sink in before I make my choice. Sitting up, I wiggle until I have his T-shirt over my head and tossed to the floor. Lying back down, I fumble with my panties until they, too, are discarded.

"Your move, Kincaid." My palms are sweating and I think my heart might explode from how hard it's pounding inside my chest. Not because I've never been naked with a man before, but because I know this is going to change the path we're on. We've been following along this fine line between faking and real, and this is going to blur that line beyond measure.

I'm okay with that.

I've thought about that first night I stayed here more times than I can count. I wanted this then, but I was too afraid to ask for it. With each passing day that Merrick is a part of my life, my confidence grows. He's showing me that I am worth the time and attention of any man, but especially him since he gives me so much of both.

He's still. So still, in fact, I'm not even sure he's breathing. I wait to see what he's going to do. It seems like hours before he finally speaks.

"I'll hold you, Court, but nothing else. Not tonight."

"Okay."

He releases his hold on me and moves around. The next thing I know, I hear a flopping noise as his clothes hit the floor. "Come here, baby."

I waste no time going to him, moving in close so that my bare breasts are pressed against his chest. I tuck my head under his chin as his arms wrap around me tightly. I can feel his hard cock pressing into my stomach, but we both ignore it. He said only this, and I'm not willing to push him and lose this. Because this —this is a feeling unlike anything I've ever known.

I've had sex, not great sex, but I've done the deed. It's always quick, sweaty, and nothing like this. I've never had this calm feeling wash over me. Calm, intertwined with safety in the arms of a man who I know without a doubt would protect me. Hell, he sleeps closest to the door for a hypothetical break-in.

"I could get addicted to this."

"Being naked?" he teases.

"Being naked with you."

He inhales deeply at my confession.

"Why does this feel more intimate than sex?" I voice my thoughts.

"Because it is. This is more of an emotional connection. Being fully exposed for the sake of feeling someone close to you is not the same as getting close to get off."

"This is better," I state confidently. At least from my experience.

"Then the men of your past have been doing it wrong." His voice is thick and does nothing to mask that he's struggling to not take this further too.

I laugh, my body, and my boobs shaking with laughter. His cock twitches and it takes everything inside me to continue to pretend like the evidence of what this is doing to him isn't really there.

I squirm because, damn, I'm turned on.

"Ignore it."

"I'm trying because I promised you this was all, but it's harder—I mean, more difficult than I thought." I giggle. I yelp when he smacks my ass lightly. "Hey!"

"Go to sleep, baby."

"I can't sleep."

"You can." He holds me a little tighter and runs his hand up and down my spine gently. I can feel my eyes grow heavy as I start to drift off from his comforting touch.

"Merrick?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you think that I'll regret this in the light of day, but I promise you, I won't."

"Good."

"I'll never forget this night as long as I live."

"That makes two of us, Court. Now, get some rest. I'll be right here when you wake up."

I know he's awake. I can feel his breath hitting the back of my neck and feel the rise and fall of his chest. I'm sure he knows that I'm awake, too, as I'm sure he's already guessed, but I'm not ready to break this connection. That is, until my belly growls, and we both laugh.

"Good morning."

I turn my head toward him. "Morning."

He presses his lips to my bare shoulder. "Feeling okay?"

"Perfect."

"No regrets?"

"Not a single one." I mean it. Sure, I'm a little embarrassed that I basically threw myself at him, stripping out of my clothes, and demanding he do the same, but all in all, I'm just happy to be here with him, with his arms wrapped around me, and nothing between us.

"How about we get dressed and I make you some breakfast?"

"Oh, you don't have to do that."

"Let me take care of you." His words are softly spoken, but there's an emotion behind them that I can't name.

"Okay."

"I like it when you say okay. Good things happen." He kisses my shoulder once more before sliding out from under the covers. I give him privacy to dress, even though my naked body was pressed to his for over half the night. We didn't actually look, so I feel as if it's the right thing to do. "Come out to the kitchen when you're ready. Help yourself to whatever you need."

I hear the bedroom door click closed, and I pull the covers over my face and release a silent squeal. Last night was everything. I know we're pretending, but last night, everything I felt, including the evidence of his arousal, was real.

What I wouldn't give for us to stay real.

Knowing that he's out there slaving away on breakfast, I climb out of bed and search the floor for my panties. I slide them up over my thighs and reach for the clothes I had on last night, but think better of it. Instead, I grab the shirt he dressed me in to sleep and make my way to the bathroom. I take care of business and brush my teeth again, just in case, before I go in search of Merrick.

I find him in the kitchen, plating up scrambled eggs and toast. "It's not much, but it will keep us from starving." He looks up and freezes. He allows his eyes time to take me in from head to toe. I watch as his Adam's apple bobs with his hard swallow as his eyes lock on mine.

"That"—he points at me—"is definitely a sight a man could get used to every morning." He offers me a cocky smile, and it's at this moment I realize how, even though as a woman, we have a million things to worry about, like periods, childbirth, and menopause, we still have something that's at our advantage.

We can hide when we're turned on.

I can clearly see the bulge behind the gym shorts Merrick is wearing, but he can't see that my panties are soaked.

That's a huge win for the female population in my book.

We scarf down our breakfast as we talk about our favorite songs and movies before I help him clean up the mess.

"What are you doing today?" he asks.

"I need to do some laundry and go to the store."

"Want some company?" he asks.

"I'm sure you have better things to do."

"Nope. Besides, it will be good for us to be seen out together. We've been hanging out here or at your place lately."

Disappointment washes over me. I hate the reminder that this isn't real. "Right. Yes, let's do that. I'll go get changed."

"Me too. I'll grab some clothes and shower in the spare bathroom while you're getting ready." With that, he walks away, and a little piece of my enthusiasm goes with him.