Chapter 9

Haley

It’s been a week since that dinner with Cole. We haven’t seen each other since, but we’ve texted back and forth every day. He’s been busy with work. I’ve been up to my nostrils making contacts around town.

“Welcome to the Metal Petal.”

This is my fourth stop of the day. “Hi, is Tori here?”

“No, sorry, she’s not in at the moment,” says a young girl with bright blue hair. “Can I help you?”

“I absolutely love the pieces in the window. That blue and purple bouquet is giving big I’ll kill you while I kiss you vibes.” The navy-blue feathers look more like daggers poking out from the black dahlias. It’s stunning. The arrangement next to it has black, red, and white flowers in an anatomical heart vase.

“Thanks. Those are from our Dark and Moody Collection.” She beams proudly.

“I’m Haley.” I hold my hand out for her to shake. “I run Next Level Events and am new in town.”

“Well, we love working with other local business, especially women-owned ones.”

“Same.” I flash her a huge smile. “I’m actually planning a holiday party in mid-December.” She pulls a face that makes me think they’re already booked solid, but I keep talking and remain hopeful. “I don’t need anything too extravagant. Just some small centerpieces for tabletops. And I can pick them up if I have to, no biggie.”

The relief is plain as day on her face.

“I’m not picky about what flowers you use either,” I add. “But I’d love it if the arrangements were edgy, like what you have on display over there. Minus the anatomical heart vases for this time around.”

“That’s not a problem at all.”

Pro Tip: If you’re easy to work with the first time, they’re going to want to work with you again.

“I’m going with this kind of aesthetic.” Pulling out my cell, I show her the inspirational photos I’ve saved for Cole’s corporate party. It’s going to be a showstopper.

I’ve hyper-focused on it all week because I want it perfect for him.

Sam pulls a pad of paper out from behind her desk and starts spouting out names of flowers and plants while she sketches a design. “Something like this work?”

My heart literally skips a beat when I see what she’s drawn. “Perfect.”

Ten minutes later, I’ve finished filling out the forms and have paid for the deposit. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

Sam holds her hand out again. “It was nice meeting you. I’ll let Tori know you’re the new party girl in town.”

“Thanks. It was lovely meeting you, too. I can’t wait to work with the Metal Petal again in the future.” I hip bump the door and practically bounce out of there with a pep in my step.

I really like Banner Bay. I adapt wherever I move, but this place is quickly becoming one of my favorites. It’s the first move that’s all my decision too. Growing up, I was dragged wherever my parents drifted next. We were always getting evicted. I lived in a tent for six months when I was ten, and the back of a car for a few weeks when I was fourteen. To say my childhood was hard is an understatement. I didn’t have friends. I didn’t have choices. I didn’t have shit.

The public library was always my safe space and there was one in every town I stayed in. Whenever I wasn’t working or at school, I’d go to the library to read, study, nap. Stay warm.

I ended up going to the college that offered me a full ride. I’m just happy it was a great one, and it was clean across the states so my parents couldn’t get to me. Meeting Cole there was a massive bonus. My internship in Boston was the only offer I had after graduation, and I took that too. My transfer to the New York office was strictly because I finally got a position that paid, thanks to the internship that didn’t.

All my life I’ve made do, sucked it up, gone with the flow, taken shit, worked my ass off, starved, climbed, and penny pinched to make ends meet.

Moving to Banner Bay is a fresh start. I’m living it on my terms, and only mine. I’ve dumped everything I have into my business. I’d call it a gamble if I wasn’t so confident in my skills. I’m damned good at my job and if I can show others that, then I’ll never struggle financially again.

My cell goes off and joy lights me up like a fucking Christmas tree when I see it’s Cole. “Hey.”

“How’s it going?”

“Oh, it’s going.” I smile, passing an older gentleman in a peacoat. “How’s it going with you?”

I keep getting awkward when we talk, because part of my heart feels like no time has passed since college because of how easy we click. But the other part of my heart still holds its breath, feeling guilty for leaving him behind.

I bet he thought he didn’t matter to me.

When the reality of it is, he means everything to me.

“I’ve got a surprise for you.” Cole’s voice is deep and playful. “Wanna see?”

His flirtatiousness trips me up because I’m still stuck in my guilty haze, while he’s staying true to his word, and giving us a clean slate to work with.

I try my best to play along. “Tell me where to go and I’m there.”

“My office.”

He’s working on a Saturday? That sucks. Then again, so am I. “I’m coming now.”

His laugh spreads warmth down my spine. “I’ve heard those words before.”

My cheeks heat. “I bet.”

“How soon can you get here? I wanna be ready.”

I still don’t know my way around the bay area very well. “Probably twenty minutes? I’m over by the Metal Petal florist.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

“Do you want me to bring anything? Lunch? Coffee?” It’s a little past three, but I haven’t eaten yet, and maybe Cole hasn’t either.

“Just that sweet ass, Angel.”

Oh geez. He really wasn’t kidding about starting fresh. The man’s a menace to my heart and body.

After we hang up, I run in my high-heeled boots to get to my damn car faster. I haven’t seen him since that dinner at the Screaming Pelican, and I miss him.

When I arrive at his office in twenty-five minutes, he’s outside waiting for me. “Damn girl, do not run in those things. You’ll break your ankles.”

“I didn’t want to keep you waiting.” I slow down to a brisk walk until I reach him. “I hit every red light getting here. I’m so sorry. I didn’t think you’d be waiting for me outside like this.”

Cole’s smile falls. Then he cups my face. “Stop apologizing, Haley.”

My stomach knots.

“You don’t have to rush to get to me. Ever. I’m a patient man, and you’re worth the wait.”

My heart twists.

He kisses my forehead, and the heat of his soft lips does little to thaw my frozen face. “Damn, you’re ice cold. Let’s get inside.” He opens the door for me and once we’re in the elevator, Cole gets this suspicious, playful smile on him. “Did you fall out of a vending machine, ‘cause you be looking like a snack in that outfit.”

I burst into laughter. “Dear God, is that how you pick up dates now, Cole?”

“Nah.” The elevator door opens. “I pick them up like this.” He scoops me into his arms and carries me out of the elevator while I squeal.

“I can’t believe you’re here on a Saturday.”

“No rest for the wicked, I guess.” He sets me down at the receptionist”s desk. Dressed in jeans and a hoodie, Cole looks sexy as hell. I notice he’s gotten a fresh haircut this week.

I’m not the snack here. He is.

Scratch that. Cole’s a five-course meal.

And I’m starving.

“I’ve been busting my ass with some big projects this week and wanted to make sure yours got done as soon as possible.” He holds my hand and guides me into his glass office. Without another word, he guides me over to his drafting table.

“Have a seat, Angel.”

I’m too awestruck to obey. “Holy shit.” My hands tremble when I touch the blueprint. Here it is. My office. My vision. “Cole, this is exactly what I wanted.”

“Like I’d give you anything less?”

It’s… perfect. I can’t believe he’s done this. And so fast too.

Cole gathers my hair in his hands and pulls it to the side to kiss my neck. I immediately feel dizzy.

“Cole,” I groan.

“I’ve missed the way my name sounds in your mouth.” He kisses my neck again, before slowly spinning me around to face him. Snaking his hand under my hair, he holds the base of my neck and locks gazes with me.

“I’ve missed everything about you,” I confess. “You’re my true north, Cole. I’m so sorry I—” My words cut off. He doesn’t want me apologizing all the time, so I’ll start practicing now. “I’m glad I found you.”

He kneads the back of my skull and bites down on his bottom lip, dragging it across his teeth. “I’m glad you found me, too.”

Don’t leave me again, is what his eyes say, but his mouth stays shut.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kiss him slowly, sweetly. Except it doesn’t stay that way. Especially when he groans into my mouth.

Our tiny ember of heat grows into a blazing inferno in a nanosecond.

His hands are all over me. We spin around his office, knocking things over, bumping into the glass walls. “Fuck,” he grits out, lifting me up and carrying me to his desk. “You’re killing me, girl.”

“You seem pretty alive to me.” I scrape his scalp as I bite down on his neck.

“Fuuuuck.” He pushes away, his chest lifting with each breath he takes. “We gotta go slow, remember?”

Oh. Right. “Okay.” I immediately shut down my lust as much as I can and hop off his desk. This kind of rejection is weird. Warranted, but weird. “I um…” How do I get out of this with any dignity? “I have a surprise for you, too.”

He doesn’t say a word.

“It’s in my car, though. Let me just…” Licking my lips, I slip away from him..

He puts his hands on my waist, stopping me. “Stay.”

Wow. Talk about confusing. This man is giving me mixed signals, left and right. That’s not like him.

It’s not like us.

We were never slow movers with each other. In fact, after our first time, we were on each other every chance we could get. A minute, an hour, a night, a weekend. Hell, he fucked me so good, I could barely get to class sometimes.

Maybe fighting that chemistry is what’s tripping him up. I know it is for me. But Cole’s right. We need to go slow. This isn’t for fun. This is for keeps and we’ve got damage to undo.

He keeps his hands locked on my waist, his gaze burning into mine. I wish I knew what was running through his head.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I whisper.

His intensity shifts a little.

Fisting his hoodie, I pull him closer to me so I can wrap my arms around him. When he hugs me back, I focus on the way his heart pounds in his chest. It’s so fast. So strong. Not erratic like mine.

His cell goes off and he ignores it.

We just hold each other, leaving a million words left unsaid between us.

Which is our MO, right?

Fuck it. I refuse to let us repeat history when it comes to expressing our feelings. I’m not avoiding the hard stuff ever again. “What are you thinking right now, Cole?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Try me.”

His expression becomes guarded. “I’m thinking about all the time we wasted being apart. I’m thinking I should have hunted you down sooner. I’m thinking I should have gone with my fucking gut at graduation and asked you to marry me. I’m thinking I want to kill every man you’ve been with since then. I’m thinking I want to take you home and fuck your brains out. And I’m thinking that I really hope you stay.”

“One.” I hold up a finger. “We didn’t waste time apart. We used it to get to where we need to be.” I’ll forever stand by that. I was not a good partner before, and I’ve busted my ass to become a better one since. Besides, Cole has a hella good job and seems happier than a clam with his life. “Two.” I hold up another finger. “I’m glad you didn’t hunt me down. I was the one who needed to come back when I thought I was worthy.”

“Why do you always think your worth—” He stops and closes his eyes because it dawns on him why my self-worth is rocky. I was the kid who was told she meant nothing every day. “I hate your parents. I really, really hate your fucking parents.”

“Oh look, one more thing we have in common.” I hold up another finger. “Three, if you’d proposed to me after college, I can’t say I’d have said yes, so that’s a moot point. Don’t pull the coulda, shoulda, wouldas with us. It’ll drag you into a hole that I can tell you from personal experience is really hard to climb back out of.”

He closes the space between us.

“Four, five, and six.” I count with my fingers. “There hasn’t been anyone since you. By all means, take me home. And trust me, I’m staying. There’s no other place on the planet for me.”

Cole stiffens.

Now that all that’s off my chest and we’re setting more things straight between us, I feel loads better. Leaning back on his desk, I smile. “This communication thing and talking out our feelings and worries is really working.”

Cole keeps staring at me. “Repeat that, Angel.”

“I said this communication thing is—”

“Not that. Number four.”

I chew on my lip, recalling which point I’d made at four. Oh. Right. “There hasn’t been anyone since you.”

His chest collapses and he drops into his chair. “You fucking for real?”

“I would never lie about that.” He knows it too. I’ve always been honest about my experiences, just not my feelings. “I haven’t been with anyone else.”

Something close to panic flies across his face. “Jesus.” His head drops and he bends forward like he’s going to be sick. “Haley.”

“You’re the one for me, Cole.” I hop down to kneel between his legs so I can pry his hands away from his head. “There’s only ever been, and only ever will be, you.”

I’m sure he’s been with other women. I left him and he moved on just like he should have. I can’t be mad about it.

“I feel sick,” he says, pushing away from me. “I think I’m having a heart attack.” He clutches his chest.

Drama King.

I give him some space. “I didn’t think my nonexistent sex life would be so damaging to your arteries.”

He gawks at me. “You’re really being serious right now? I’m the only man that’s had you?”

“Well now you’re making me feel pathetic.” I turn around to march out. Playfully, obviously. “Let me go fuck a few guys right quick and I’ll come back next week.”

He grabs my hand and yanks me back, causing me to stumble into his hard chest. “You aren’t going anywhere, Angel.” His tone’s dark. Register, deep. He slides his hand up my throat and cups my jaw. “There’s no running anymore.”

“It’s about damn time we landed on the same page.”