40. It’s all about perspective

FORTY

IT’S ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE

HARLOW

As I step up onto the block, the world around me silences. I focus on the pool, the movement of the water, and try to slow my breathing down.

Everything I’ve done in the last few months amounts to this moment right here. I don’t care about any of these other swimmers. I don’t care if I lose. I just want to race without stopping. Sure, there’s a chance I could win because I’m in a slower heat, but that’s the last thing on my mind.

Once I’m set, I close my eyes and wait for the buzzer. When it finally sounds, I snap them open and push off the block. My streamline feels strong and the rush of adrenaline I was hoping for kicks in. I break the surface and start to take my first few strokes. There’s a twinge of pain but after a few more strokes, it dissipates and I’m in the race.

With every few breaths, I can hear the crowd cheering when my ear is up to the ceiling. This isn’t a long race, but every second counts. I can see that I’m keeping pace with the other swimmers, but something inside me is screaming out to push harder. To go faster. So I start to kick with everything I have left and reach my arms out as long as they’ll go.

With each stroke, I let a different fear fall off of me. I leave it behind in the water and press on towards the hope of what’s ahead. Chasing after the new beginnings that await me once I complete this race.

With my last few pulls in the water, I close my eyes, touching the wall and staying like that until the crowd gets even louder. I pull up my goggles and peer around the athletic center. Everyone’s on their feet, roaring and clapping. I finally glance over at the scoreboard and tears rush to the surface when I see that, by just a few points of a second, I somehow came in first.

I swim over to the lane next to me and shake the hand of my opponent from Marymount, then to the other lane where my fellow teammate is. She leans over the lane rope and hugs me, the announcer cutting through the noise in the background. “And there you have it, folks of Everson Valley. Harlow Sutherland’s first swim of the season post-injury and coming out on top! Let’s hear it!”

As I go to pull myself out of the water, I swear I hear a voice louder than the rest that screams, “THAT’S MY GIRL!”

Coach Bradford runs over and helps me the rest of the way out of the water, then hugs me and cheers with both his fists in the air. Lennon’s running in my direction and Pierce isn’t far behind her.

Once the roar of the spectators settles some, I catch my breath and meet Lennon halfway. She throws herself onto me and squeals. “You did it! I’m so proud of you!”

Pierce catches up and chimes in, “Sutherland, that was awesome! Nicely done!”

I step back and feel my cheeks flush. “Thanks guys, but I wasn’t even racing against my normal competitors. You put me in a slower heat.” I laugh softly, trying to downplay their compliments and praise.

“Oh, who cares, Low! A win is a win!” She playfully swats at my arm.

“Yeah, I’m with Marino. Take it for what it is.” Pierce gives me an awkward fist bump then leaves us to talk alone.

“I can’t believe I was able to finish. I was so scared my shoulder would freeze up or something and I wouldn’t?—”

“None of that!” Lennon cuts me off. “We’re celebrating, you deserve it.”

“Lenny, I only swam one race and I’m already done for the day…I hardly deserve anything. ” We walk towards the stands and she waves at my family. “I should probably go talk to them.”

“Yes, you do that and I’m going to go get a slushie for us to share!”

I find my way over to my parents and Margot who still has a look of displeasure on her face.

“Well done, fishy!” Dad speaks first and sticks his arms out wide for a hug.

“Thanks, Dad.” I lean into him, not worrying about the fact that I’m still soaking wet.

“Yes, well done, Harlow!” Mom agrees and gives me a pat on the back. In the past, I would have fixated on this. However, at this moment I’m just thankful to have both of my parents here supporting me. “It’s all about perspective,” Robin’s voice plays in my head.

When I step back, I turn to address Margot. “You look less than thrilled, but I’ll let it go this time since I saw who came and sat by you.” She rolls her eyes then reaches out and pulls me into a hug.

“I’m so proud of you. For everything.” She whispers the last part, and her words hit me hard. I squeeze her a little tighter, then she steps back and sticks her finger out. As always, I boop it and then we share a smile.

“I’m really glad you were all able to come. I’m sorry I’m not racing more than once, but it means a lot that you’re still here.” As the words leave my mouth, I feel two arms wrap around my waist from behind.

Touch like this would usually cause panic to rise up in me, but the shocked look on my parents’ faces and the smug one on Margot’s tells me exactly who it is. It tells me that I’m safe.

I let Shep pull me into him and peer up to find the biggest smile I think I’ve ever seen from him. “Babe, you won!”

“Babe?” My mom repeats his words with her eyebrows raised.

Shep lets go of me quickly, then steps past me. “Mrs. Sutherland, hi. It’s so good to see you.” He hugs her, if you even want to call it that. Mom stands there with her hands pinned to her sides while Shep tries to put an arm around her.

Margot and I both stifle a laugh, Dad cutting a look at us.

“It’s good to see you again, Shep,” my dad speaks up and directs Shep’s attention to him. They shake hands and I try not to over analyze the encounter happening before me.

“So, are you two an item now?” Mom cuts back in.

My eyes go wide and before I can figure out what to say, Shep answers. “I like your daughter, yes. And if she’ll let me, I plan to try and date her.” He looks to the side and winks at me. I don’t think Shep has ever met an awkward moment he can’t talk himself out of.

Margot butts into the conversation, “Please. You two couldn’t be more together. It’s obvious.”

My cheeks burn and the spotlight has been on me for too long. “I, uh, gotta go find Lennon. I’ll see you guys later! Oh, but Shep is driving me home. Okay, bye!” I grin awkwardly then turn around and race out of the bleachers, leaving him to fend for himself.

I walk over to Lennon who’s of course made friends with strangers. Not just strangers, two girls from the opposing team. A curvy brunette and sporty looking redhead wearing Marymount sweatshirts are standing with Lennon next to the concession stands, talking like they’re all best friends.

“Hi,” I say softly, walking up to Lennon. I’m not great with small talk, so this already feels awkward for me.

The brunette turns towards me and gushes, “Hi, I’m Ava! You must be Harlow. This is my best friend, Cece! Our other friend, Rena, is around here somewhere.”

“Geez, Ava. Take it down a notch before you scare the girl off.” The redhead who I now know to be Cece takes a sip of her drink then smiles at me. “You had a really good race! Your friend was just telling us it’s been, like, three months since you last swam.”

Looking at Lennon for some context, she adds on, “We all got to talking while waiting in line.”

I nod my head and the two girls smile at me. Something about Ava and Cece is so warm and inviting. They chat a little more with Lennon while I turn and look at the concession menu, trying to decide if I want anything else while she finishes up her conversation. When they finally walk off, I turn and shake my head at Lennon.

“I swear you could make friends with the wall sometimes.”

She hands me a slushie, then links her arm with mine. “You’re probably right, but that’s why you love me.”

“One of the reasons.” We laugh together, walking arm in arm back inside the athletic center, but not without being stopped by the one and only Momma Fords.

“Well I’m in luck! I was just coming to find you two. How are my beautiful girls?” She reaches out and manages to wrap her arms around the both of us. “Y’all did so well today! Harlow, I’m sure it was surreal competing again. Does your shoulder feel okay?”

“It feels great. What are you doing here?” I look around to see if she’s with anyone else.

“Shepherd told me today was your first meet back, so of course I had to come watch!”

My heart feels like it’s being squeezed and Lennon bumps her hip into mine when a few seconds pass and I haven’t said anything.

“Thank you, Momma Fords. You don’t know how much it means to me that you’d come to see me swim.” I smile at her, trying to blink away tears.

“Well why wouldn’t I? You know how much I love to cheer you on.” She gives me an endearing look.

We all talk for a few more minutes, then she excuses herself to go find one of her friends who’s also here. After a couple more stops and talking to other people Lennon recognizes, we finally make it back to the chairs where our team is. There’s a handful of races left, so we settle in and watch them together. Just like old times.

“I missed this,” Lennon sighs, resting her head on my shoulder.

“Me too.” My voice catches.

“Hey, don’t cry,” she whispers, picking her head up to face me.

“I’m just really glad we have this. We have each other. I love you, Lenny.” A single tear runs down my cheek.

“More,” she says, reaching up and wiping it away.

Shep and I may end up together, but Lennon will always be my soulmate.