38. All my cares to the wind
THIRTY-EIGHT
ALL MY CARES TO THE WIND
HARLOW
It’s race day.
I can’t believe I’m finally able to say that. After feeling like I’d never compete again, I’m standing in the athletic center with Lennon and the rest of my team. I haven't felt this happy in a long time.
It’s a different type of joy—getting to do the thing you love.
I just hope that all the hard work I’ve put in translates through my efforts today.
Lennon and I do warm ups in the pool before heading to the locker room and getting the rest of our things.
“You nervous?” She pokes my side.
“Not really. I think it’ll be weird not swimming butterfly, but I know why they’re doing it this way.”
A few teammates pass by and wish me luck, then it’s time to head back out. Once I’m on the pool deck, I glance around and my eyes find my mom, dad, and Margot in the stands.
Dad beams at me and my heart swells. Margot stands up and cheers, then quickly sits down when Pierce walks up beside me.
“Feeling good, Sutherland?”
“As best as I can. Thanks for all your help getting me back in the pool to race.”
We bump fists then he walks off towards the stands. Keeping him in my line of sight, my jaw drops when he sits down next to Margot. She crosses her arms and doesn’t acknowledge him.
What the hell is going on there?
“HARLOW!”
I whip my head to the side and see Lennon barreling towards me.
“What? What’s wr?—”
“I’m sorry. I told him not to, but he wouldn’t listen!”
“What’re you talking about?” Lennon grabs my shoulders and directs my attention to the far side of the athletic center and my heart drops into my stomach.
No. No. No.
Loud cheers erupt from the tall lifeguard who’s walking into the crowds with a huge poster in his hands. The words “THE BLONDE ONE IS MINE” painted across it.
My cheeks burn as everyone around him watches as he holds it up and then points to me.
I cover my face with my hands, turning to Lennon.
“Lenny,” I growl. “Make it stop.”
“No can do! Honestly, I think it’s great. Besides, there are tons of blondes here!” She bursts into laughter then her face drops, her eyes looking like they might bulge out of her head.
I turn around worried something else has happened, but find myself now bursting into laughter.
Next to my sign is another poster being waved in the air, held up by none other than Wes. His sign, however, is much more obvious, displaying ‘DIBS ON LENNON’ in gold paint. I double over cackling to myself.
“Look at us,” I finally catch my breath. “Best friends who like best friends.”
Lennon just rolls her eyes before marching over to where Wes is.
My eyes catch Shep’s and a soft smile tugs on my lips. I wave to him as butterflies erupt in my stomach. My heart starts pounding when he smiles back, then mouths, “Hi, baby.”
My insides do flips, cartwheels, and if I wasn’t nervous before, I am now.
Something about Shep’s confidence to show his affection for me, even without me returning it, is wildly attractive. It makes me want to give back the same energy. It makes me want to continue whatever this is with him. The quiet confidence I’ve been building inside myself over the last few weeks is starting to seep out. While it feels foreign and maybe a little scary, it also feels so good.
Throwing all my cares to the wind, I blow him a kiss in front of everyone. His eyes widen and I can see blush creeping into his cheeks.
I motion for him to come down onto the pool deck and start walking his way. When he steps off the last step, I throw myself towards his chest. He catches me with ease, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“Thanks for being here,” I say, nuzzling my nose into the side of his neck.
“Anything for my girl,” he responds, setting me down.
I pull at the end of my ponytail not sure what to do next, but Shep fills the moment by leaning down and kissing my forehead. When he steps back, I can’t help but look at his lips. This growing desire in me to kiss him is becoming hard to ignore. It doesn’t help that I keep having dreams about him either.
“Hey,” Shep whispers, placing his hand under my chin. I snap my gaze up to his, realizing I’ve been staring at his mouth for a little too long. “Later,” he continues, as if reading my mind. I suck my bottom lip into my mouth and nod, lost in a trance of attraction and curiosity.
He moves his thumb to pull my lip out from between my teeth, then smears the wetness across it. My heart hammers against my chest. It’s as if Shep and I are the only two people in this entire arena. Whatever hold he has on me right now, I don’t want it to stop. The sensation building inside of me is warm and gnawing, in the best way.
“I think I need to go,” I finally mumble out.
“Yeah, you probably should,” Shep says in a low, gravelly tone.
My body visibly shivers and Shep smirks.
Needing to escape the heat that’s starting to overtake me, I walk briskly back to my team. It takes every bit of power I have to not look over my shoulder, because if I do, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop myself from going back over to Shep.
Holy shit, I want him. I want him so bad.