16. “Forever” by Noah Kahan

SIXTEEN

“FOREVER” BY NOAH KAHAN

SHEP

Harlow wasn’t at the pool yesterday and I have no desire to work anymore if I don’t get to see her there. Maybe that’s a little dramatic, but her being there made my shifts bearable and gave me something to look forward to.

As I fumble around my room trying to get everything ready for the day, Wes calls out that he thinks Dahlia threw up in the kitchen.

I rush out of my room and sure enough, she’s cowering by the couch and there’s sick on the floor by her water and food bowl. Sometimes this happens, she eats too fast and it upsets her stomach. I clean it up, then walk over and crouch down by her. I hate that she thinks she’s in trouble and is afraid of my reaction.

“Hey, girl. It’s okay. Let me see that belly.”

She rolls on her side and her tail slightly moves. I have so much to get done today before my shift starts but my focus now is on making sure Dahlia is okay.

She sulks into my room following after me while I throw on a hoodie before taking her outside. She seems okay but then gets sick again. I call the vet who helped me get her taken care of after I adopted her and thankfully he’s not busy today and told me to bring her by.

I head back into the house and let Wes know that I’m not going to class today and might be calling out of work depending on what the vet says.

“Need me to cover for you? I’m on call but if you want me to go ahead and let Tom know you’re not coming in, I can,” he offers.

I contemplate it but a flicker of hope that Harlow might be back at the pool today has me wanting to keep my shift.

“It’s okay. If anything, I’ll call Mom and see if I can drop Dahlia off for the day. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind watching over her grand-dog, who she loves so, so much.” My voice turns into baby talk as I finish the sentence and look down at my sweet pup.

“Alright, well let me know if something changes. I hope everything’s okay with our furry girl.” He pats her on the head then goes into his room, shutting the door behind him.

I grab my backpack and some of Dahlia’s stuff before getting her harness to lead her to my truck. She hops in the front seat like nothing is wrong, which is promising, then lays her head on the console.

I turn on “Forever” by Noah Kahan while I drive to the vet and sing to Dahlia. Thankfully she can’t talk because she’d probably tell me to shut up.

An hour later at the vet, everything seems to be okay, but I call Mom anyways to see if she still wants to hangout with my girl while I’m at work just so I have peace of mind that someone's with her. Of course Mom agrees so I send Tom a text that I’ll be running late to my shift.

We pull into the drive of my parent’s house and Dahlia immediately perks up. While my townhouse isn’t exactly small, it certainly isn’t as spacious as my childhood home that sits on a chunk of property and has a huge backyard.

I wander into the house and before my own mother greets me, she’s calling out for her “granddog-ter” to come see Mimi.

I roll my eyes. When I first got Dahlia, I was expecting my parents to be a little hesitant with her breed but Mom and Dad were thrilled. Dad said they’ve started talking at the precinct about rescuing and training some of the dogs at the shelter I got Dahlia from for emotional support care when they work with victims of sexual assault, any type of abuse, and especially with kids. Unfortunately though, they haven’t found someone to head up a department like that and it’s been put on pause.

“Do you want to stay for a quick bite before your shift?” Mom moves around me into the kitchen and starts to pull things out of the fridge, waving them in front of my face.

“I would love to but I need to head to the rec, I’m already running late.” I walk around the kitchen island and hug her. Stepping back, I give Dahlia a rub on the head and then make my way to the front door. “Dinner tonight though, when I come to pick up my girl?”

I hear Mom’s laugh echo through the house. “I look forward to the day you’re saying that about a human and not a dog.”

Me too, Mom. Me too.

Driving to the rec, my mind reels at the idea of bringing Harlow home. While I realize that something draws me to her, it clicks that I still don’t know that much about her besides the small things I’ve picked up on. I wonder what her favorite color is. What type of music does she like? Has she always loved swimming? And the question I really want to ask , why the fuck is she dating Beckett?

I pull into the parking lot and my heart hammers in my chest when a familiar gray Bronco comes into sight. Harlow’s back. I whip into a spot and grab my things, eager to rush inside like a high schooler who doesn’t want to miss the class he has with his crush. Breezing through the lobby, I bust through the door of the lifeguard office and stow away my belongings, quickly changing into my uniform. Glancing through the window, I see the locker room door open and the beautiful blonde I’ve been missing. She peers out before tiptoeing across the pool deck to the lane we keep reserved for her.

My gaze is transfixed on her and goosebumps erupt across my skin. Her hair is pulled up into a ponytail like usual but for some reason, it feels like I’m seeing her again for the first time. Maybe it’s because I haven’t seen her in a week after seeing her almost every day for the last four. I study the curves of her legs and my mouth waters at the thought of her taking off her sweatshirt, revealing the body I’ve been dreaming about night after night.

I notice she glances around quickly before discarding her sweatshirt onto the block. I’m halfway out the door to my stand when I see it. Two large but fading bruises on her back peek out through the keyhole of her swimsuit. Without thinking, I raise my whistle to my mouth and send a loud shrill through the rec. I let the red piece of plastic drop from my lips before shouting, “HARLOW SUTHERLAND. MY STAND, NOW.”

I watch her hesitate for a second. Surely she isn’t going to—nope, she is. She ignores me and dives into the pool starting her first two laps. I storm over to her lane and wait at the end of it for her to finish and come up for a breath.

Her head pops from the water and she won’t even look at me. “What do you want, Shep?” She cuts her words at me but there isn’t one part of me that cares if she’s upset.

“Get out of the pool, Harlow. Now.” I squat down to her level hoping that she can’t escape my stare, but instead she pushes away from me and floats in the water, taunting me.

A smirk graces her lips. “Or what?”

I lean forward and lower my voice, ready to play the one card I know will end this game. “Or I’m going to call Pierce and tell him that you’ve got bruises on your back that look like handprints and they better be from some intense PT stretch he’s been doing with you.”

Harlow visibly gulps. “Okay, damn.”

Finally, she swims toward the edge of the pool and takes her goggles and cap off. I wish I didn’t notice how pretty her hair looks when it’s cascading around her in the water. Our eyes meet again and I swear she blushes before clearing her throat and slowly putting her hands on the edge of the deck. I can tell she’s taking her sweet time just to get under my skin.

Nope. I’ve had enough of this.

I reach down into the water and lightly grasp her waist, doing my best to avoid where the bruises are, then pull her up out of the pool and deposit her down onto the deck. She yelps and shock covers her face. I give her the sweatshirt she threw on the block. “Put that back on and follow me.”

She nibbles on her bottom lip and I can tell I’m having an effect on her. Good .

She softens her voice before whispering, “Shep, this really isn’t necessary.”

Closing the gap between us, I speak again, steadying my words. “I’m not asking, Harlow. Let’s go.”

She quickly pulls the sweatshirt over her head before grabbing the things she brought out with her. I turn and start to walk towards the lifeguard office, stopping every few steps to ensure she’s still trailing behind me. When we get to the office, I open the door and usher her inside, then close the blinds and lock the door.

“Shep,” she starts. “Why am I here? What do you want?” Her breathing has picked up some and I can still see the flush in her cheeks.

I start pacing the room, overwhelmed by the emotions flooding my body. “What happened to your back?” I ask without looking at her because I know I’ll want to touch her in some form. Every time I’m near her, I find my hands gravitating towards her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Didn’t you hear me at the date party on Tuesday?” Her tone is starting to shift back to the familiar defensive one I know all too well.

“You don’t know what I’m talking about? Have you seen yourself in a mirror? I don’t give a damn what you said to me Tuesday when there’s visible bruises on your back. I’m going to ask you one more time, Harlow. What happened?” I turn and face her, hoping my eye contact is the pressure to make her answer me.

“Shep, nothing happened. They’re not bruises, just old marks from PT.” She rolls her eyes and turns to walk towards the door.

My body acts on instinct again and next thing I know, I’m reaching for her hand, pulling her back and into my body. I run my thumb along the side of her jaw and she takes a sharp breath in. I study her face and her features up close for the first time, wanting to commit every detail of her stunning appearance to memory. When our eyes meet again, she closes them.

“You’ve been swimming here for the last four weeks and you don’t think I’ve memorized every inch of your body?” The words leave my lips softly and she licks hers as if tasting them. “Who did this to you?”

Her voice trembles. “You’re—you’re mistaken. I’m fine. It’s nothing. Shep, please.” She opens her eyes and a look of fear flickers across them.

I let go of her and stumble backwards. “You don’t want to tell me right now, fine. Let’s go and we can talk about it somewhere else.”

“Uh, excuse me?” Her voice croaks. “Shep, what do you not understand about leaving me alone?”

“And how do you not understand that I can’t!” I don’t mean to raise my voice but I can’t help it. I step towards her once more and cradle her face in my hands. “Harlow, I don’t know why but I can’t leave you alone. I just…can’t.”

We hold each other’s gaze for a few seconds before she softly whispers, “Okay.”

“Okay?” I parrot her.

“Okay. But, can you please let go of me.” Her voice is small and it takes me too long to realize that if those bruises are from someone, every touch I’ve impressed upon her has likely done more harm than good.

“I’m so sorry.” The words tumble out of my mouth. “Harlow, I?—”

Stopping to really think about this situation and how to go forward, I realize I need to meet her where she’s at if I want to ever get through to her.

“Go finish your practice like you wanted to. I’ll let Tom know I need to take off early. Dahlia, my dog, was sick earlier today, so I’ll just tell him I need to go take care of her. When you’re done swimming, will you go with me to pick her up, and we can talk?” I hold my breath and hope that by some miracle this will get through to her.

“You have a dog?” she asks, tilting her head and looking at me pensively.

I can’t help the laugh that escapes my lips. “Yes, I have a dog.”

“Huh…” She chews on her bottom lip again. “I like dogs.”

“So, is that a yes?” I soften my gaze at her and she looks down at her bare feet.

“Would you really tell Pierce?”

I don’t want to coerce her into spending time with me but I also don’t want to lie to her. The truth is, I would tell Pierce. He cares about Harlow differently than I do, but we both want to see her succeed.

“I would…feel like I’d need to.” As the words leave my mouth, I hope they don’t cause me to lose any of the progress I feel I’ve made.

“Fine, but I’m only agreeing to this because I’m not going to lose any more time being with my team.” She steps closer to me and pushes a finger into my chest. “Don’t let it get to you.”

I nod my head quickly and smile at her. She glares at me then turns to walk towards the door. “May I leave now?” The sass returning to her voice.

“Yes, Harlow. Though, you and I both know you could have left whenever you wanted. But I guess now we also know you wanted to be alone with me.” I shoot a wink giving the sass right back.

“Ugh!” she groans, before throwing open the office door and beelining back to her lane.

This girl is going to ruin me and I can’t wait.