Chapter 16

SIXTEEN

Stella

“We’ll be back Sunday evening,” my grandma reminds me.

It’s only the tenth time—no exaggeration—she’s reminded me of when they’ll be home. I smile and nod every time. I love this woman. “I know, Grams. I hope you have a great time.”

They’re headed off to one of their weekend trips. This time, just two nights. I aspire to be them when I’m their age. So in love with the person you chose to spend your life with, and still taking weekend getaways. Taking the time to escape the hustle and bustle of life and owning their own business.

“Thank you, sweetie.” She leans in and kisses my cheek.

“Call us if you need us,” my grandpa says, pulling me into a hug.

I wrap my arms around him, hugging him back. “I’ll be fine, but I promise.” I step out of his embrace. “I’m taking Ada back to Sunflower Park for a picnic. I’ll send pictures.” I know that will make them feel better about leaving me here alone. Not that I mind. I’m saving as much money as I can to get a place on my own. Not that I don’t love living with them, but I want my own space. I want Ada to have her own room too. I’ve already decided that Willow River is our home. This place and the people who live here have embraced us, and I can’t imagine living anywhere else. I can’t imagine raising Ada and her growing up anywhere but here.

“Oh, is Maverick going?” Grandpa asks. There’s a twinkle in his eye that I ignore.

“No. This weekend is the Kincaid family camping weekend. I guess the entire family goes.” I say it almost as if I’m not sure, but I know for a fact that if your last name is Kincaid, you’re on that camping trip.

“And you’re not going?” Grandma asks.

“I’m not family, Grams. Maverick and I are friends. The ladies and I have become close friends as well, but this is a family-only event.” What I don’t tell her is that Maverick invited me. He insisted that Ada and I were as close as family as we could get, but I declined. He once told me they never bring anyone to any Kincaid camping trip unless it’s a fiancée, wife, or someone they know for sure could be either.

I’m not that person.

Not in Maverick’s eyes, no matter how insistent my heart is that I could be that person for him. We’re just not there. We’ve shared some amazing moments. Moments that I will cherish in my heart for the rest of my life, but that’s all this is. That’s all we are.

Ada and I stand on the front porch, waving goodbye to my grandparents before heading back into the house.

“Well, it’s just you and me, kid,” I tell my daughter. She wiggles for me to let her down, so I do, watching as she toddles to the basket of toys that sits in the corner of the living room. She dumps that basket out every chance she gets. I feel like I pick it up a hundred times a day. “We’re going to work on learning to pick up our toys,” I tell her, pointing my finger at her. She shakes her hand at me and babbles. I bite down on my cheek to keep from laughing. I’m trying to be the authority figure, and this kid makes me laugh.

“You light up my life, Ada,” I tell her, blowing her a kiss. She smacks her hand against her lips and tosses her hand out, sending the love right back to me.

My heart is full.

I take a seat on the couch while she plays. Jordyn and the other Kincaid ladies have gotten me into reading. I’m reading a new release from Rebel Shaw, and I can’t seem to get out of it. I even woke up before Ada today. Instead of going back to sleep, soaking up the extra time, I read instead.

I’m addicted.

I’m just getting into a spicy scene when my phone rings. Carefully marking my page, I set the book down before I pick up my phone. I smile when I see Maverick’s name. “Aren’t you supposed to be doing family things?” I tease, answering his call.

“We’re doing all the family things.” He laughs. “What are my girls doing?”

He’s been doing that a lot since that night—the one where we took things to the highest level, only to get up the next day and act as if the entire night was just a dream. We woke up naked, curled in each other’s arms. Maverick acted as though it was no big deal, slipped into some shorts, and grabbed a fussing Ada, telling me to take my time.

“Nothing much. Ada is playing with her toys, and I was reading.”

“Anything good?”

“Yeah, it’s one that Alyssa and Jordyn suggested.”

“So, it’s one of those spicy books.”

I can feel my face heat. “Yep.” I am not ashamed of what I read, but that doesn’t mean that I want to discuss it with him. My friend. The same friend that I keep crossing all kinds of boundaries with.

“Read me some of it.” I can hear the teasing tone of his voice.

“What? No. You should be spending time with your family.”

“I’m here. We’re getting ready to go on a hike. I still wish you would have come with us.”

“Family only, Kincaid. No breaking the rules.”

“Whatever,” he grumbles. I can clearly see him rolling his eyes in my mind. “Can I talk to Bug?”

“I can try. She’s pretty enthralled with her ladybug and the tool set my grandpa bought her.”

“Hang up. I’ll call back and video chat. If she can see me, she’ll be more interested.” He sounds excited at the idea.

“You do know she’s a one-year-old, right?” I tease.

“Me and Bug are tight. Besides, I know my girls. They want to see me, and I want to see both of them.”

Insert racing heart here. “Okay. Call me back.” I end the call quickly and blow out a heavy breath. “He’s a lot, Ada,” I tell my daughter, not that she’s listening. Just talking to him has me yearning for what I know we will never be. I need to distance myself from him, but I’m at the point where I’ll take Maverick in my life however I can get him. Pathetic, I know, but that’s what happens when you feel for someone the way I feel for him.

Before I have a chance to compose myself, my phone rings again, this time with a video call. I answer as I stand from the couch. “Hey, hold on,” I tell him.

“Wait.”

I stop walking and look at the screen for the first time. “What?”

“There she is.” He grins. “I said I wanted to see both of my girls.” His eyes are soft as he studies my features.

What do I say to that? That I’d do anything to be his? “Here I am.” I smile lamely.

“I see you, angel,” he replies, his voice low and gravelly. It’s sexy and has my belly quivering.

I ignore him, because what else can I do? Beg him to be mine? I can’t do that. “Ada!” I say excitedly. “Do you want to talk to Maverick?” I move to where she’s playing and lower to the floor next to her. “Look.” I turn the phone so that she can see Maverick.

She giggles and shimmies with excitement as she reaches for the phone. I pull it back out of her reach. “Ma, Ma,” she says. She claps her hands and tries again to grab the phone.

“That’s right, Bug. It’s Mav. How’s my girl?” he asks her.

She takes the phone from my hand and kisses the screen. “Ma,” she says again.

I laugh. “Are you giving Mav kisses?” I ask her.

“Ma.” She pokes her finger at the screen.

“I love your kisses, Bug.” Maverick laughs.

I take my phone back, ready for a fight, but she doesn’t protest as she stands and leans close to the screen. “I can see your nose hairs, kid,” he teases. Not that she understands that. “When I get home, we need to go out for some ice cream,” he tells her.

Ada nods. He’s taken us out enough for the cold, sweet treat. She knows exactly what ice cream means.

“You’re spoiling her, Mav.”

“That’s my job. To spoil my girls. Right, Bug?”

I hate when he does this. No, that’s not entirely true. I don’t hate it; I love it just as much as I love him. Yeah, I’ve gone and fallen in love with my best friend. We met in the most unconventional of ways, but since the very first moment we met, he’s been in my corner no matter what the situation. He dotes on my daughter and treats her like she’s his own flesh and blood. He made it impossible for me not to fall in love with him. I’ve known for a while now that this man owns my heart. I tried to fight it, but he made it impossible.

“We should let you go.” I pull the phone away, and Ada cries. I lift her into my arms. “Sweetie, Maverick needs to go.”

“Ma,” she cries.

“Hey, Bug. I promise I’ll come and see you as soon as I get home, okay?”

“Ma.” Her bottom lip trembles, and her eyes well with tears.

“Aw, you’re breaking my heart, Bug. I love you, kiddo. I promise as soon as I get home, I’ll come and see you.”

“Ma.” She continues to cry for him.

“I should let you go so I can calm her down.” I’m slightly bouncing her on my hip while holding the phone away so that he can see us.

“Let me know how she is.” His voice is sad, and his face shows the same.

“She’ll be fine, Mav. Go enjoy your weekend with your family.”

He opens his mouth to argue, but I stop him. “Say bye-bye, Ada.”

“Bye bye, Ma.” She waves, but there are still tears in her eyes. She blows him a kiss. I watch as this incredible man catches it and blows her one right back.

“Bye bye.” Maverick waves, and I end the call, cutting them off there. If not, this would go on all day and night.

“Ma, Ma, Ma,” Ada cries.

“Hey, it’s okay. Maverick will be back tomorrow.” They only did a short two-day trip this time because they didn’t want to take Blakely out of school for too long. They were considering longer, but Declan and Kennedy decided against taking her out of school for two days. “Do you want to go to the park? We can see the sunflowers,” I say with the most enthusiasm I can muster. You’d think I was just told I won a million dollars, but I need her to cheer up.

She whimpers, and I’m at a loss. I eye her ladybug on the floor. Bending down carefully, I grab it and hand it to her. She immediately holds it to her chest and snuggles as she sniffles.

“Want Mommy to rock you?” I ask, already making my way toward the recliner that also rocks. Best and most comfortable rocking chair invention ever.

“Mom, Mom, Ma.”

“I know, baby. Maverick misses you so much. He’ll be home tomorrow, and he’s going to come and see you.” Her body shudders as she catches her breath from her tears. Her breaths are shaky, and her chest rises rapidly as she comes down from her tears. My heart is cracked wide open seeing her like this. I’m not the only one who has fallen in love with Maverick Kincaid. I rock her for about fifteen minutes before she’s sound asleep. I carry her to our room and place her in her bed just as my phone beeps from the living room. I pick up the baby monitor before pulling the door almost fully closed.

Back in the living room, I grab my phone and see a text from Maverick. Which is exactly who I was expecting it to be.

Maverick: How is she?

Me: Just got her down for a nap.

I snap a picture of the baby monitor showing her sleeping in her crib and send it to him.

Maverick: She broke my heart, Stel. I was ready to come home.

Me: You can’t do that. She’s just missing you.

Maverick: I miss you both so much. You should have come with me.

Me: What part of family-only weekend are you not grasping? That’s breaking the rules, and you know it.

Maverick: You’re family, Stella. You work for Jordyn, you’re friends with all of my brothers” wives, and you’re my best friend.

Me: My last name isn’t Kincaid.

Maverick: Neither is Deacon nor Ramsey’s.

Me: Come on now, that’s a stretch, and you know it. That’s your cousin and her husband.

I send him a string of eye roll emoji. He’s being ridiculous.

Maverick: But she’s sad.

Me: There are a lot of things in life that are going to make her sad. I can’t coddle her, and neither can you.

Maverick: Did you see the tears? You must have missed them.

I can’t help but smile. He really does love my little girl.

Me: I saw the tears. I was the one who dried them. You’re there, and we’re here. That’s the end of it.

Maverick: Fine. We’re heading out in the morning. I should be home around noon. I’m coming straight there.

Me: Go home, unpack, and get ready for the week.

Maverick: I’ll be there. I’ll text you when I’m close. We’re going to grab some food and get Ada some ice cream.

I don’t want to argue with him because I want to see him. I miss him, and he’s only been gone since yesterday morning. He’s not mine to miss, but I miss him all the same.

Me: Fine. I know there’s no point in arguing with you.

Maverick: Nope. Not when it comes to the two of you.

Me: Go on your hike. Be safe and have fun.

Maverick: What are you doing tonight?

Me: Thinking about Sunflower Park. Not certain.

Maverick: Be safe. Text me when you get home.

Me: No. You don’t need to be worrying about me. You’re with your family this weekend. Enjoy this time.

Maverick: I can still be here and enjoy my family and worry about my girls.

Maverick: Text me when you get home.

Maverick: Please.

I smile. Sweet, affectionate, loves kids, and is not afraid to say please. He’s going to make some woman very happy one day. Some woman that’s not me. I’ll be pushed to the side when he finally meets someone, and that thought alone has me easily agreeing. Not that I was going to outright refuse.

Me: Okay.

Maverick: Thank you.

Me: You’re welcome. Now. Go. Hike.

Maverick: So bossy.

I don’t reply because I know if I do, he’ll keep going. He’d sit there all day on his phone with me, and that’s defeating the purpose of taking a family trip. Picking up my book, I dive back into the story while Ada sleeps.

I end up falling asleep too. The house was quiet, and I was having a hard time getting lost in the story when my thoughts kept straying to Maverick. By the time Ada and I both wake up, it’s pretty close to sunset. We both must have been exhausted. It’s too late to go to the park, so I make us some dinner. I make some chicken salad with canned chicken for me, and some mac and cheese for Ada.

We eat together, and I work with Ada on her words. She’s talking more and more each day. And by talking, I mean words we can actually understand. “Noodle,” I say, pointing to a cheesy noodle on the tray of her high chair. She ignores me and grabs it, shoving it into her mouth.

“That’s good stuff, huh?” I ask her.

“Yum.”

“That’s right. Yum.”

When she finishes, I leave the mess for later and take her to the bathroom for her bath. I let her play for close to an hour. She’s pruned, and my hands are as well from playing with her. I cherish these moments. Derrick has no idea what he’s missing out on.

Once she’s changed into her jammies, I carry her back to the living room for a movie to wind down for the night. Realizing I haven’t checked my phone, I leave her on the living room floor and go in search of it. I find it in the kitchen. Glancing at the screen, I see seven missed calls from Maverick. My heart falls. Something must have happened. My hands shake as I return his call.

“Stel?” he answers, his voice laced with panic.

“Yeah, it’s me. What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? You were supposed to text me when you got home. The sun set an hour ago. I texted you, and no reply. I called, no reply. Are you okay? Ada?”

“I’m sorry. Yes, we’re both fine. I didn’t mean to scare you. We both fell asleep, and it was too late to go, so we stayed in. I gave her a bath and left my phone in the kitchen. I didn’t hear it over the giggles and the splashing water.”

“You’re okay. You’re both okay.” It’s not a question; it”s more of him trying to reassure himself.

“I’m sorry, Maverick. I didn’t mean to worry you.” My heart squeezes at the fear I hear in his voice.

“She’s fine. They’re both fine,” he tells someone.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I just— You didn’t call, and when you didn’t answer, I panicked. You always answer or get back to me right away.”

“We’re home. Everything is all good. I promise.”

“I need to see. I’m calling you back.” He ends the call, and before I have a chance to take a deep breath, it’s ringing with a video call.

“Hey, Mav.” I smile softly.

“Where’s Ada?”

I walk into the living room, where she’s crawled onto her beanbag and is watching her movie. “She’s okay,” I say softly. I turn the phone so that he can see her, but quickly step away. I don’t need a repeat of earlier.

I move back far enough I can see her, but hopefully she won’t notice I’m on the phone and want to know who it is.

“Fuck. I never want to go through that again.”

“I’m sorry,” I say again. I don’t know what else to say. I didn’t do anything wrong, but I still feel like I should apologize.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s all on me. I just worry.”

“I know you do.” This man and his heart…. I swear I don’t know how it fits inside his chest. “We’re still going to see you tomorrow when you get home, right?”

“Yeah, baby. I’m coming straight to you.”

“Okay. Enjoy your last night. We’re going to watch a princess movie and go to bed.”

“Right. Okay. Stel—” He hesitates. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.” I end the call and move back to the couch, taking a seat. This time, it’s me that’s blowing up his phone. I send him a picture every fifteen minutes or so of Ada doing something cute, or of the movie. Just reminding him we’re okay. It’s all that I know to do to ease his fears.

When I put Ada to bed, I send him a picture of the monitor with a goodnight message.

Me: Night, Mav.

Maverick: Night, angel.

I don’t know why he calls me that, but I don’t hate it. Climbing into bed, I close my eyes and dream of the man who holds my heart. Not just mine, but my daughter’s too.