Chapter Eight

Blake

I stopped Tommy before he could yank my sweats off.

“Please, I can’t,” I told him as his dark eyes searched my face. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t.”

He tilted his head, and I know he thought it was the scar on his face, but that only made him more beautiful. The jagged red line that started at his right eye gave him the illusion of a snarl with the way his lip turned up.

“I really wish you had told me. I would have dropped everything.”

“I know, Bug.” He reached up to touch my face with the pads of his fingers. “Jax tried to reach you. He thought maybe if you were at the hospital, your sunshine and smiles would make me feel better. I didn’t want that for you. You were on tour in Japan. The thought of you being my nursemaid or ruining your career when mine was already over?” He shook his head. “I would never do that to you.”

I closed my eyes as the heat of Tommy’s hand began to seep inside me. “What about what I wanted? You never asked me. Not with my mother and not with your accident.”

“I know what you would have said.”

“I would have been anything you needed, but you made the decision for me.”

When Tommy’s touch disappeared from my face and I felt the mattress move next to me, I popped open an eye to find him lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling at the glow-in-the-dark stars we had stuck there years ago.

“I didn’t want to be the person who kept you from what you loved the most in life,” he said quietly.

“What I loved most?” I balked. “What I loved most was you , Tommy, or did you forget that part?” I started to climb from the bed, only for him to grab my wrist to stop me. I brought my eyes back to his browns, and he was on me again before I had a chance to fight him off.

Tommy growled deep in his chest, low and possessive. “Is there someone else you want, or is it still me?” He straddled my waist with his thick thighs.

“It’s always been you, Gretzky,” I confessed. I leaned up, wanting to taste his lips, but Tommy pulled back, shaking his head. “Then let me up. If I can’t have you, then I won’t let you play with me. I’m not some puck bunny.”

I watched his throat when he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing against this skin.“I don’t kiss anyone. Not anymore.”

“I’m not just anyone, Tommy. I’m your bug,” I reminded him.

Tommy shook his head, his voice hoarse. “I can’t.” He sat back on his calves, but I stayed where I was.

My eye darted down to his chest, hard and muscled beneath the bare thread Canfield hockey tee that stretched across his torso, down to the dark briefs that clung to his hips and thick hairy thighs. When I glanced up at him again, he smirked at me.

“What? I have eyes.”

“You like what you see, Bug?” Tommy murmured. “Do I still do it for you?”

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.”

I pretended like my heart wasn’t hammering against my ribs, that the sight of him wasn’t making my blood heat, or that I didn’t want to lift my legs and beg him to fuck me.

“No, no, no.” Tommy clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, then splayed his heavy body over mine. “Answer the question.”

I gritted my teeth as he dragged his nose over my cheek, down my jaw, and against my neck. His hands crept up under my shirt, dancing lightly over my belly and chest before he shoved the fabric up over my torso. My chest heaved with each breath as I waited for his next move. I knew how Tommy liked it, and I never told him no, because I liked it, too.

“You want to play, Bug?” The tip of his tongue poked out between his plump lips before he dragged it over my heated skin, against one stiff, peaked nipple, then stopped to grin at me. “Yeah, you do.”

I groaned when Tommy took the hard peak into his mouth. My hips arched up, my hands gripped the headboard behind me, and I watched, transfixed, as he nipped, sucked, and grazed his teeth over it before he moved over to do the same to the left one.

“Fuck, Tommy.”

“Mm, you still taste the same,” he murmured, his gaze never leaving my face.

Then he bit down so hard, I nearly shoved him onto the floor.

“Jesus, you can’t just...”

My eyes rolled back as he lapped at the stinging bud, and his hand dipped down to cup my aching cock. I was going to come quicker than I had the first time he’d touched me if I didn’t stop him. It had been too long since I’d let anyone in my bed. Tommy was the one I had been chasing for the past five years, and no one could ever fill his shoes.

He must have sensed something because his hand fell away.

“You want to touch me?” Tommy gripped my bicep and yanked my arm down as he moved into a sitting position. “No kissing or touching my face, but everything else is on the table. You know what I like.”

It was like my hands had a mind of their own as I scrambled to get to him. I slid my palms up under his shirt and tugged it over his head. My eyes immediately zeroed in on the happy trail of hair that peeked out from his briefs before I took in the rest of him. Tommy’s muscles were more defined than ever, his shoulders and biceps covered in corded muscle.

“You’re so thick,” I murmured, my hands drifting over every inch of his skin.

“Yeah, well, I don’t do much but work out these days.” He chuckled softly.

I smiled as our eyes met. “You’re perfect, Tommy. You always were.”

My throat grew tight at the thought of him with someone else. Bringing them into this room, having his way with them, and marking them the way he did me.

“Bug?” Tommy cupped my cheek with the palm of his hand.

I shook my head. “I don’t think this is a good idea.” I had never been able to get into hookups like my bandmates. The few times I had tried, it had always left me thinking of him, and I couldn’t do it.

“Hey, what’s going on?” He shifted his weight onto the mattress, his legs lying over mine. “We don’t have to do anything. If you changed your mind or just want to talk...”

I stared at his feet. They looked so big compared to mine.

“How many?” I whispered.

“How many what?” Tommy’s hand dragged over my hair, his nails scraping my scalp.

I shoved his hand away. “How many have you brought here since I left Canfield?”

I pushed his legs off mine so I could get away from him. I hated everyone who had come before and after me.

“How many did you bed, Blake?”

He growled as he climbed from the mattress and towered over me. “How many sweet, soft, fresh-faced girls did you take back to the bus or your hotel room trying to forget about me? I bet it’s a lot bigger number than the guys who didn’t make me feel the way you did. Ones who didn’t beg me to fuck them, who didn’t tremble when I sucked them off, who didn’t like my teeth or nails in their skin or didn’t cry out my name when they came.”

The anger in Tommy’s eyes shouldn’t upset me.

“It’s your fault,” I reminded him. “You went behind my back and lied to me. You bribed my mother. You and Jackson both betrayed me.”

“How many?” he snapped.

“Zero.”

Tommy stared at me like I had spoken a foreign language he couldn’t understand. “I’m sorry, can you repeat that? Because it sounded like you said zero.”

“I did.” I dragged my hands through my hair. “It’s not for my lack of trying, because girls and guys were always there. Throwing themselves at me, the band, just wanting to get a piece of one of us. I tried numerous times with women and even a couple of men.” Tommy’s eyes flashed with jealousy. “It never worked. You were all could see, all I wanted, and I always sent them home with an excuse and money for an Uber.”

Tommy grunted. “Men, huh? I thought you were only gay for me.”

“I’m everything for you,” I whispered, silently begging him to touch me again.

Tommy didn’t waste any time. He shoved his briefs down his legs and kicked them off before he tackled me back onto the bed. “You’re still mine, then.”

His heavy cock pressed against my thigh.

“I’ve always been yours, Gretzky,” I assured him before he tugged my shirt over my head. When he didn’t dig his teeth into my skin right away, I knew exactly why. “They’re yours.”

His face loomed over mine on the bed. “You got a tattoo of my bite mark?”

He used to bite, suck, and kiss every inch of my body. He loved to leave marks all over my skin, knowing that it meant I was taken, that no one else could touch me, and I craved the pain as much as he loved giving it.But he kept marking that one spot on my shoulder repeatedly until I had it permanently inked into my skin.

“Yeah, well, Killian was starting to get himself tattooed, so I went with him on of our stops before they disappeared from my body.”

“I bet he had questions.”

I shrugged. “He didn’t ask, and I didn’t tell. He had his own monsters he was dealing with.” I shivered when he dragged his tongue over the tattoo. “Tommy.” I whimpered his name as his hand slipped between us and wrapped around my cock.

“So hard for me.” His lips brushed my neck. “This is all mine, all for me. No one else has touched you or been inside of you in five years? Mmm... That’s so fucking hot.” He tugged on my length. “Tell me.”

My hips canted. “I’m yours.”

“Did you touch yourself, Bug? Did you wrap your fist around this beautiful cock and think about me? Think about the first time I fucked you; how I made you come so hard I had to kiss you to keep you from screaming. I bet you did.” His arm moved in a quick, jerky motion that had me desperate for more.

I stared at Tommy as he watched me, his lids heavy with lust.

“All the time,” I confessed. “It was like a porno movie on repeat in my head. The way you made sure it didn’t hurt. How good you made me feel. How you pushed my legs up behind my ears and whispered how amazing I felt wrapped around you. How—Fuck.”

I spilled over his fingers and down his wrist before I could finish telling him about how I did that every night on tour instead of using some faceless stranger to forget. Tommy’s memory was all I needed.

“Open.”

Tommy shoved his fingers into my mouth, and I sucked myself from his thick fingers before he swiped more cum from my dick and licked it off. Then he climbed up to straddle my waist, wrapped his hand around his own cock. In three strokes, he came all over my neck and chest, groaning my name.

“You always could get me off faster than anyone else,” he said.

My heart shattered into pieces at his words, and I pushed him off me. “I have to go.” I grabbed my shirt and yanked it up over my head, not caring that his cum was still wet on my chest.

“Bug, I... I didn’t mean that. It came out wrong.” His fingers wrapped around my arm.

“You still said it, Tommy, and it hurts. I... never mind.”

“Tell me,” he whispered.

But I didn’t. I couldn’t.

Instead, I pulled on my jeans and slipped my feet into my shoes.

“I’ll see you at the bachelor party.”

He followed me downstairs and onto the porch, and I turned back to face him.

“I love you, Tommy. I love you so much, and I don’t know how to stop. But...” I looked down.

When he didn’t repeat those three words back to me, I rushed across the street to my house without looking back.