Epilogue

Blake

The sound of laughter, drums, and guitar chords filled the air when I stepped into the recording studio. Killian was sitting on a chair holding his microphone with Dean next to him, his guitar slung across his chest, and Maverick was behind them on his drums. I took a moment to soak it in, the happiness and love that radiated around the room. These were my best friends. The boys I had chased my dreams with, grown with, and discovered life with.

The recording studio that Killian had built at his home had started off small but had turned into something much more. He’d added a small stage for when we went live, a seating area for us, and for when our partners and friends came to listen. It was all dark wood paneling and state-of-the-art. Comfortable and homey. I loved coming over here.

“It’s about time you got here, Blakey.” Killian winked when I stepped into the room to make my presence known.

Maverick twirled a drumstick as he smiled at me, his cat-like eyes bright and happy. “It was hard to leave the bed this morning, huh? I know I didn’t want to unwrap myself from Jackson.” The man was a liar. He was up at four in the morning every single day, no matter what.

“Ew, please.” Dean wrinkled his nose. “Spare us the details.” He cackled with laughter when his brother stuck his tongue out at him.

Mav wasn’t wrong. “It’s not easy when Tommy’s on the road.”

The Panthers had returned last night from a seven-day road trip, and I’d nearly mauled the man when he’d walked in the front door. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but the literal pain in my ass was a reminder to be more careful in moments like that. Or to use more lube. Whatever.

“I don’t miss it.” Dean nudged my shoulder as I sat down next to him. “Beau’s enjoying retirement.”

“Bet you are, too.” I grinned.

He blushed. Beau and my guitar player had had another hiccup this past Christmas, but they seemed to be stronger than ever now that they had moved to North Carolina. Out of the spotlight and away from the crowds. I wanted them to make it.

Killian groaned dramatically. “Can we start this thing, or do you want to keep talking about dicks? I mean, I love dick, but we have a show to perform.” He cackled when Dean punched his arm.

“No one mentioned dicks, Kill, that’s all on you.” I grabbed my bass to check that it was still in tune.

Killian shrugged. “Yeah, well, my husband has the best one.”

Killian and Matthias had eloped in Vegas last fall. I had thought Kill would have wanted the big wedding, the photos, and making sure everyone knew he was taken, but they hadn’t told anyone until Matty let it slip one day in conversation. To say we were all surprised would be an understatement.

“How’s Archer?” I asked, and Killian’s face lit up at the mention of his son. Blue eyed and curly haired, he was the spitting image of his father. Not to mention the attitude. He got sassy when he wasn’t getting attention. Just like my singer.

He gave me a shy smile. “Perfect.”

“Have a few more so you can catch up with me.” Maverick pounded out a ba-dum-bum-CHING on the drums.

Maverick and Jackson had taken in two friends of Andy and Leo’s, twin boys named Felix and Ford, as well as a younger boy named Lucas.

Killian shook his head. “Nah, I don’t think I want that many kids in my house. Maybe two.” He straightened his shoulders. “Come on, we’re already running late. Let’s get this thing started.”

We went live on Instagram for about an hour and had a blast. We answered questions, played a few songs, and talked about the future of the band. It was amazing the things people remembered and the questions they asked that had us reminiscing about the past. But we were all about the here and now.

“Okay, Kill, this one’s for you.” Dean chuckled. “Molly wants to know when you’re going to do a nude photo shoot.”

Killian’s mouth dropped. “When I’m going to do what?”

“A nude photo shoot.” Maverick giggled. “You and Matty should both do one together. It would be super-hot.”

Killian’s face burned crimson. “No.”

“Afraid to show off the goods?” Dean’s high ponytail trembled as he shook with laughter. “Beau did this shoot once for the ESPN body issue. He was naked on the Zamboni, on the ice. Sexy. Plus, I got to touch him after and no one else.”

Killian stared at him. “People don’t want to see... no.”

“Uh, trust me when I tell you that people want to see that.” I watched as all the comments flashed across the screen of the tablet. “Lots and lots of them, apparently.”

“Why?” Killian leaned forward to try to read some of them. His lips curved up into a smile. “Sorry, the only person that gets to see me naked is my husband, but”—he held up his hand—“I appreciate the comments. There’s always the Twitter and IG accounts dedicated to my luscious, juicy ass.”

The three of us groaned as I reached over to smack at his shoulder. “You secretly run that, don’t you?”

“I don’t, but it’s a genius idea. I wish I had thought of it.” Killian beamed.

I caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of my eye. I turned to face the door and found Tommy, Jax, Matty, and Beau sitting down on the couch. Tommy winked at me, and I couldn’t stop the smile that spread over my face.

“Babe.” Killian stood up like we weren’t in the middle of something. He walked over to Matthias and leaned down to kiss him.

Dean snorted. “Whipped.” He didn’t even try to cover it up. “You’ll have to excuse our singer. He’s too busy eating his husband’s face off.”

That set off a million more questions and comments. They flew by so fast it was nearly impossible to read them all. I did catch few that included

“Show us Matthias!” and “How’s Archer?” but it was moving too quickly to respond to them all.

Killian held up his middle finger without turning around, his mouth still glued to Matty. I felt Tommy’s eyes burning a hole in me, and when I met them, he raised his hand to beckon me over. I nearly tripped over my own feet to get to him, landing in his lap.

“Hi.” He pushed the hair out of his face. “We didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Jax huffed next to me. “We totally did. Sweetheart, come over here.” The sound of Maverick’s happy giggle filled the room and then he was on the couch next to me, kissing his husband like his life depended on it.

“Beau!” Dean squealed. “Well, I guess we’re done. Thanks for watching. Until next time.” I knew he was throwing up his usual peace sign as he turned off the camera. Or maybe just kissing the heck out of his boyfriend.

I leaned into my fiancé. “I’m glad you’re home. I hate those road trips.”

“Me, too, Bug. They’re not so bad when you come with me.” He pulled me against him so that my head was on his shoulder.

Tommy’s fingers combed through my hair as we sat there. I listened to the sounds of my friends as they spoke to their significant others, the soft laughs, and murmured noise that filtered over me like a blanket. I had never been happier in my life, and I wouldn’t take this for granted.

“Selfie time!” Dean announced.

It had become sort of a tradition since we started our weekly lives on IG. We would all crowd together to take a picture together, and he would post it. It was kind of fun, even if Killian sighed and grumbled about how stupid he thought it was.

Spoiler alert. He didn’t really feel that way. He always wore the biggest smile in the group.

I kissed Tommy again and then made my way over to my friends. We squeezed Maverick into the middle, since he was the smallest, and wrapped our arms around one another. Dean handed his brother his phone, and he snapped off a few pictures before we broke apart. Then Tommy grabbed me so he could yank me against his hard body.

“Let’s go home, Blake. I miss you.”

I knew exactly what he meant.

“Don’t forget! Dinner tomorrow night at six,” Maverick reminded us as Tommy nearly dragged me from the house. Another tradition.

With my family.

Tommy

I gripped Blake’s hand in mine and watched the way the wind whipped through his hair. He glanced up at me, his eyes shimmering with tears, and gave me a weak smile. This wasn’t how we wanted to be celebrating our first wedding anniversary. We thought we’d had more time. But everyone thinks that when a loved one gets sick. We had just buried Blake’s mom, who had died three days ago. The cancer had come quickly, and even though she’d fought hard, it was too much and too fast. Even before Blake could ask, I told him she could move in with us, so he could be by her side and take care of her until she got better. Which never happened. At her request, we buried her in Canfield. Home, as she’d called it. We still had the house, although it mostly sat empty these days, and I was glad Blake hadn’t let me convince him to sell it.

“I love you,” I reminded him, even though he knew.

I made sure I told him more than once a day. Probably too many times a day, but I was obsessed with my husband. And now I completely understood why Killian was the way he was about Matty.

Tears slipped down his cheeks. “I love you, too, Tommy.” He stopped and pressed his head against my shoulder. “Thank you.”

“I’m here for you, Blake, always,” I reminded him and hooked my arm around his body to pull him closer.

I tilted Blake’s face up so I could press my lips to his forehead and felt him tremble against me. I knew he still felt guilty. About the years she drank, how he’d kept it hidden instead of asking for or getting help. He was just a boy who loved his mom and wanted to make sure she lived. His mother forgave him. Just like Blake forgave me. He would be okay in time, but right now, I would give him everything he needed. No matter what.

Blake clung to me as we walked back to the car. He whined and cried when I tried to get him inside, his hands digging into my suit jacket.He had been more than clingy since she’d gotten sick, but for the past few days, he couldn’t stand to be alone. Not that I could blame him.

“Baby, I have to drive us to the house,” I reminded him and managed to get him to sit down.

I tugged the seatbelt across his chest and made sure he was safe before I moved to climb inside. I turned to look at him. His sadness filled the vehicle like a lead balloon. I hated seeing him like this. It broke my heart. I wanted to take his pain away, so he never had to feel this way again.

Blake grabbed my hand so he could pull it into his lap. “Tommy.” The way he said my name was heartbreaking.

“I’m here, baby,” I reminded him as I squeezed his fingers. “Always.”

We drove back to the house in silence, the road already beginning to fill with family and friends. My parents had said they would host the funeral reception to try to help Blake and for his mom. Our parents had becomeclose, and I knew they were grieving, too.But no one was grieving harder than my husband. He had done everything he could to save his mother, but the cancer spread so fast there was nothing anyone could do.

“Can we just sit here for a little while longer?” Blake whispered, his cheeks stained with tears.

I nodded. “Take as much time as you like.”

He unhookedthe seatbelt, shifted to his knees, and climbed into my lap, then tucked his head into the crook of my neck.

“Comfortable?”

Blake grunted as he tried to get closer to me.Like he was trying to climb under my skin and live there. I would let him. He didn’t even have to ask.

I held him tightly against me, the soft sounds of his breathing filling my ears. I thought maybe he had fallen asleep until he pulled back to look at me, his green eyes rimmed with red. Blake’s chin trembled as he searched my face, and my heart broke for him all over again.

“I’m here.”

“I know.”

I pushed his face back into my neck. “She loved you so much, Bug.” I massaged his back with the palm of my hand. “And she was so proud of you.”

Blake’s body began to shake as he cried, his pain turning into angry, heartbreaking sobs. He clung to me, his tears damping my jacket, his fingers clawing at my shoulders.

“Make it stop, Tommy. She can’t be gone. Make it stop hurting. My heart has been ripped from my chest. I can’t do this.” Blake sat back and stared at me, brushing the wetness from his face.

I cupped his head between the palms of my hands. “Do you need me to help you forget?”

Blake gave a quick nod. “Yes, please.”

I somehow managed to unhook my seatbelt, open the car door, and carry Blake inside without ever losing my breath. All the workouts with the team were paying off. I made a mental note to thank my trainer when we got back to North Carolina. I locked the front door behind me, but when I started up the stairs, Blake struggled in my arms.

“Now, Tommy, right here,” he begged, and I stopped to capture his mouth. I walked us over to the couch and sat down, keeping him in my lap. “Love you,” Blake whispered, his hands combing through my hair.

My stomach flipped and twisted. I would never get tired of hearing that.

“Love you more.”

I licked inside his mouth, before he pulled back and stood up. I watched as Blake struggled to remove his jacket, pants, and then his shirt before he landed back on my lap, straddling my thighs. He didn’t say anything, his fingers trembling as he slowly unbuttoned my shirt, shoving it down my arms along with the jacket. He still wore his briefs, and his erection pushed the boundaries of the fabric.

“I can do it.” I reached for Blake’s fingers, only for him to push my hands away. “Bug, don’t get bratty.”

He did this from time to time. Got in a mood where he wanted to be in control, pouted when I wouldn’t give him his way, and then howled with pleasure when I spanked him before I shoved my cock in his ass. Some of those moments were my favorite, but nothing will ever compare to the first time we kissed.

He popped out his bottom lip. “I’m not,” he murmured, folding his arms over his chest.

“Mm.” I raised my brows and watched a blush creep up his neck and face. “Give me a kiss.”

Blake shook his head. “Don’t want to.”

“Blake,” I growled and felt him twitch against me. I knew he was only trying to forget, to lose himself in pleasure. “Come here.” I gripped the back of his neck so I could crush our mouths together.

He didn’t even fight me, his body melting against mine. With my free hand, I palmed his cock, swallowing the sounds he made. He rutted against me for friction, and I stilled his hips with the touch of my hand. I could taste Blake’s tears as he fought me, or maybe his body just had a mind of its own.

I finally twisted around and pushed Blake onto his back so I could blanket him with my body. He stared at me with sad eyes hooded with heat. I kissed his mouth, nose, and jaw. I sucked a hickey into his shoulder, right next to my bite mark, and then left wet kisses down his torso and bellybutton. I stopped to tug his underwear down, and Blake’s hands fisted into my hair so tight it felt like he might rip it out. His hips canted as I licked up his length before I sucked the tip into my mouth.

“Oh, Tommy.” Blake gasped. He tightened his grip as I swallowed him down to the root, and the sound he made went straight to my own aching cock. “Please.”

I stopped to arch a brow up at him. “Please, what, baby?”

“Fuck me.” He whimpered as I dragged a finger through his crease.

I smirked. “Lift your legs for me,” I instructed him.

He gripped his thighs to lift them. He looked beautiful just like that. His cheeks spread so I could see that perfect hole, his dick hard and begging for my attention. I got to my feet, stripped off my clothes and grabbed the travel lube from my wallet. Always prepared, that’s me.

“Please.” Blake whimpered again. His entire body trembled as I moved between his legs, spreading lube on my fingers and sliding one inside of him. “More, I can take it.”

He could, too. Blake would take my entire fist if I asked. He wouldn’t complain or say it was too much. He would beg me for more, two hands if that were even possible. I would never hurt him, and that wasn’t something I was into, but he wouldn’t tell me no if I was.

I pressed a second finger inside his channel. “Bug, you’re always so good to me.” I watched his cheeks burn pink. “So pretty. I can’t wait to see you take my cock. You were made for me.”

“Yes, yes, give it to me.” Blake pushed down on my fingers. “Tommy, please.”

I could make him wait. Work him over until he was crying and pleading with me, but not today. That wasn’t my man needed.

“You want this?” I asked as I slicked up my dick. I gripped the base and nudged his hole. “Say it.”

“I want your cock.” Blake nearly shouted as I started to ease inside of him. “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!”

With pleasure. I slid all the way home until my balls pressed against his, and we both let out low groans. I leaned down to kiss Blake. His mouth opened instantly, and I gave him what he needed. I fucked my husband into the couch and watched the way his eyes rolled back into his head. His cock left pools of precum on his stomach, in the creases of his abs, and smeared between us. I hooked an arm around his back to lift him up, but Blake wrapped his legs around me, pushed me down, and climbed up onto my lap, his hands on either side of my head.

“I love you, Gretzky,” he whispered against my mouth. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” He chanted over and over.

I let Blake take control because it was what he needed. He arched his back, planted his hands against my chest and rode me like a champion bull rider. I gripped his hips, my release already buzzing inside my veins, but this wasn’t about me. This was about Blake. I watched the way his cock slapped against his stomach, noticed the way his tongue peeked out between his lips, and savored the heat that flashed in his hooded green eyes. The soft moans he released drove me wild.

He came with a shout, like his climax surprised him. Blake shot ropes of cum between the two of us, and some of it landed on my chest and chin. But it was when he leaned down to lick it from my face that I lost myself. Heat streaked over my body as I filled Blake with my own release, his soft whimpers echoing in my ears. When I was done, he slumped against me, and my softening cock slid out from inside of him. I threaded my fingers through his damp hair as he drew circles against my skin.

“Thank you, Tommy.” Blake’s voice trembled as he spoke. “For today, the past few days, everything. I don’t think I would have survived this alone.” He glanced up at me.

I kissed his mouth. “You’re never going to be alone again, Bug. I promise.”

“I promise, too.” Blake tucked his face into my neck.

“I have something for you, when you’re ready,” I murmured and stroked his hair.

Blake pulled back to stare at me, his eyes sad. “What is it?”

“A letter from your mom. She asked me to give it to you. When you’re ready.” I watched his chin quiver, and when the tears started again, I held him against me. I would always comfort him, no matter what.

When the sobbing stopped, Blake sniffed softly. “I think I’m ready now, Tommy.”

“You’re sure?” I sat up, making sure to keep him in my lap. “There’s no rush or pressure. You can read it today, tomorrow, or ten years from now.”

Blake brushed the wetness from his face. “Tonight, yeah, tonight I’d like to read it. We should probably wash up and go make an appearance before Killian comes looking for us. He’ll just barge right in without knocking. I think he made a key for himself.”

He wasn’t wrong.

Later that night, when the reception was over and everyone had gone home, Killian and Matty were tucked away in the guest room, I held Blake as he read the letter from his mother. Tears streamed down his cheeks, but he had a smile on his face. Then he cried in my arms before he fell asleep, and I thanked whoever was responsible for bringing us back together.

We might have lost years together because we were both stubborn, but never again. I would never let Blake slip away from me without a fight.