Chapter Two

Blake

I knew seeing Tommy was going to be difficult, but I had no idea it was going to be like this. No one had thought to tell me he had taken a skate to the face. He took a fucking skate. To his face. After he ran from me, I grabbed my phone and Googled him. The articles were overwhelming, but the pictures... I couldn’t even look at them. If I had known, I would have... I don’t know. I would have dropped everything and been there. I would have left the Mulligan tour, flown to his bedside, and been there for him even after what he had done. Even if he didn’t want me.

Except, no one had told me.

Not his parents, not Jackson. No one.

I was currently sitting in on the worst dinner of my life. Killian, Matthias, and Dean Frost, Maverick’s brother and my guitar player, had gone to visit Helena, Killian’s sister, leaving me alone with Jackson, Maverick, Tommy, and their parents. I wondered if I should have gone with them. It might have been less awkward.

I stared down at the plate of food before me and pushed the uneaten meatloaf around with my fork. I had no urge to eat, even though I knew it would be the best meal I had eaten in weeks. I remembered Adele Olson’s meatloaf and how amazing it had been. The last home-cooked meal I’d had was probably when Maverick had cooked for us on the bus while Killian muttered under his breath about it being poisoned. Normally it was takeout or TV dinners for me because I couldn’t be bothered for anything else.

“Maverick, sweetie.” Adele looked so happy as she looked around the table. “You have no idea how excited I am to see you. Fran and I are so delighted to welcome you into our family.”

Maverick blushed so red; he looked like a cherry tomato. “Thank you,” he murmured softly before he ducked his face into Jackson’s shoulder. Jax beamed happily and pressed a kiss into Maverick’s white hair. It was sweet, the love the two of them shared. Something I never saw coming.

My eyes drifted over to Tommy, who was staring down at the table, his lips pressed in a tight line. The scar was bad, but it didn’t take away from how gorgeous he was. He must have felt me watching him because suddenly those dark eyes met my greens.

“What?” he mouthed.

I looked away so fast I was surprised my eyes didn’t pop out of my head. Why was he mad at me? I didn’t do anything to him. He was the one who’d betrayed me. Although I was the one who hadn’t said goodbye.

“Blake, Tom, you two must be excited to be able to catch up, maybe rekindle that relationship you started.” Adele nodded at us like we had been keeping in touch all these years.

As if I had been the one to hold his hand while he was in the hospital after his accident. Not that he had lied to me. Blackmailed my mother into going to rehab with the promise of money. Despite my not wanting that.

Tommy grunted. “Not really.” He stabbed his baked potato with his fork.

“Tom,” Jackson growled from across the table. “We talked about this.”

Maverick looked between the two of them. “Is everything okay?” he asked.

“Actually...” Tommy stood up. “I’m not very hungry.” He grabbed his plate from the table and stalked into the kitchen. This was going wonderfully.

Jackson pushed back his chair to follow his brother, but Maverick put a hand on his arm. “Let him go, Goose. He’ll figure it out. I did.”

I couldn’t stand this. “I should...I don’t...May I please be excused?” I asked.

“Of course. You don’t have to ask.” Adele nodded.

I gathered my plate to take it into the kitchen, only to find Tommy standing there with a beer in his hand. He narrowed his eyes to glare at me, and I couldn’t get over how different he looked. He was still the giant I once knew, but exhaustion had etched lines and created shadows on his face. His eyes were sunken into his skull, and his cheeks were almost gaunt. He looked like he carried a lot more muscle around than he used. More definition. My heart thumped wildly in my chest at the sight of him.

“I’m not sure why you’re mad at me,” I hissed through clenched teeth. Tommy’s jaw flexed as he tried to keep his cool. “Oh, even better. The silent treatment. Shouldn’t I be the one who’s angry? You lied to me. You went behind my back. You didn’t tell me that you had this horrific accident. I would have been there for you, Tommy. I could have helped you. I would have—” Hot tears burned my eyes, and I tried to blink them away, but one traitorous tear slipped down my cheek.

Tommy stepped forward to catch it with his thumb, and I froze.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he cupped my cheek with the palm of his hand. “I never wanted it to be this way.”

I stared up into his face, into those brown eyes I had missed so much over the past couple of years, and felt like I couldn’t breathe. He seemed so different—shattered and broken—from the boy I had fallen in love with, but in those deep, dark orbs, I could still see the Tommy I loved.

“You could let me back in. Talk to me.”

“I can’t do that, Bug. I’m sorry.”

Then his touch was gone, and Tommy left me standing alone in the kitchen.

***

I’d slept terribly last night, knowing Tommy was in the house across the street without me. My mother had moved to Florida a couple of years ago, and I’d bought the house from her. I couldn’t bear the thought of someone else living here. Despite how things had ended with Tommy, I had great memories of Canfield. We’d moved here when I was fourteen, right before my freshman year of high school. I’d bonded instantly with Tom, who introduced me to his brother and Maverick, and that’s how I’d ended up in the band. Mulligan Downtown was looking for a bass player. It just happened to be a bonus that I was good at writing songs, too. Killian wrote a lot of our hits, but some of them were mine, too, and others we wrote together.

I had someone come in twice a week to clean, make sure no repairs were needed, and keep an eye on the place. During all the seasons, the house was taken care of. The leaves, the snow, the lawn, nothing was overlooked. I had always loved this house, and sure, I could have rented it out or even let someone else buy it, but I couldn’t imagine anyone else living here. Not when I had so many happy memories here.

I sat staring at the Olson house in hopes of... I didn’t know what. Pretty sure I was going to lose my mind by the end of all of this.

“I heard you roaming the halls last night,” Killian commented as he sat down next to me on the front steps. “Did you sleep at all? Like even a little?”

I cocked a brow when I turned to look at him. “Did you? I need to invest in some earplugs. I forgot how loud you two can be.”

“Jesus Christ.” He dropped his gaze to his feet, and his ears burned pink. He reached up and gripped the back of his neck.

I smirked into my coffee cup. He really hated talking about sex with his fiancé for some reason, and no one ever let him forget it.

“It’s so much fun to make you uncomfortable, Kill.”

“You’re an asshole.” Killian elbowed my side. “How was dinner?”

I sighed. “Fine, I guess. You should have seen how cute it was when Mrs. Olson told Mav how excited they were about him joining their family. I thought he was just going to die of embarrassment. How’s Helena? I miss her.”

“Engaged,” Killian growled.

“And it’s not to Dean?”

“Nope.” He popped the “p” loudly. “I’m not sure if I should be happy about that or—Wait, how did you know about Dean and Helena?”

I wiggled my brows. “Dude, everyone except you knew because you were too busy not chasing after Matty.”

“I was so fucking blind.” He shook his head and twisted his frame to look at me. “I mean, okay, I knew there was something going on between the two of them, but I never thought they were sleeping together.”

Killian’s eyes darted across the street at the same time mine did when the front door opened and Tommy stepped outside. He stopped when he saw us, but then quickly moved to the red Chevy parked out front to climb inside.

“Uh, so what’s that about?”

Fuck my life. “Nothing.” I took another sip of my coffee.

“Oh no you don’t.” Killian leaned forward and gripped my chin to force me to look at him. “You two were best friends. Then we left for California and... Oh sweet baby Jesus! Not you, too.” His blue eyes were wide with curiosity. “Were both you and Jackson dicking down your best friends?”

I nearly choked on my coffee. “Jesus, Kill, you have a way with words sometimes. How are you a Grammy winner?”

He grinned at me. “I’m right, though, aren’t I?”

“It was more than that. We were in love,” I corrected him. “Until Tommy decided to go behind my back and ruin everything.”

Killian folded his thick arms over his chest before his gaze slid behind me. “Good morning, babe.”

His face broke into a giant smile, revealing his dimples, as he spotted Matthias. He had been so miserable before they got back together. They were perfect for one another, and his whole attitude had changed. We became real friends for the first time.

He patted his lap. “Come on, what are you waiting for? I got your seat ready for you.”

The screen door opened, and I made room so Matthias could sit down only for him to actually climb into Killian’s lap. I should have known. They were crazy about one another. Kill always had to be touching Matty in one way or another.

“Hey.” He beamed happily up at my singer.

“Hey yourself.” Killian wrapped a tattooed-covered arm around his waist. “Blake was just telling me about how he and Tom were a thing back when you were in high school.”

I wanted to murder him.

“Duh.” Matthias snorted. “That was obvious.”

I tilted my head. “What does that mean?”

He turned to look at me like I was crazy. “Look, I know everyone thought all I saw was Killian, which, okay, I was a little obsessed, but you two were together all the time.” He twisted around so that he had his back pressed to Kill’s front. “I saw you once.”

“Uh, you what?” After being in the band for the past few years, I had seen and heard a lot of things, but what exactly had he seen?

Matthias leaned back as Killian dragged a hand through his dirty blond hair. “After a show once when you thought no one was watching. I had to get out of there because Killian was occupied...” He sighed softly at whatever other memory had surfaced, his voice trailing off.

“Babe, you’re it for me,” Killian’s voice was low as he pressed his lips to Matthias’s ear and reached for his hand.

I felt like I was watching something I shouldn’t be as he ran his finger over the engagement ring on Matthias’s finger, like Killian knew what he was remembering.

“Finish your story.”

What was it like to be so in love like these two were? To be able to calm each other like that? I knew Jackson did the same for Maverick. Tommy had done that for me, too, when things with my mother had gotten out of control.

“Right, so, you and Tom... I saw you.” Matty blushed. “I saw you outside by your car. Kissing.”

I stood up. “This is embarrassing.”

“Sit.” Killian growled. “We don’t need to talk about this if Blake doesn’t want to.” He pressed his nose into Matty’s hair. “You smell good.”

I eased myself back down onto the step. “You two are gross.”

“Grossly in love.” Killian grinned before he pulled his fiancé closer. Matthias only beamed happily. “Look, I’m sorry. About Tom, about what happened, and if you want to talk, I’m here.”

I stared at him. “Who are you, and what have you done with my lead singer?”

“You know what?” Killian held up his middle finger. He laughed when Matthias pushed his hand back down.

I stared across the street at the Olson house again. “I didn’t even know about his accident.”

“That shit is gnarly. Ow, did you just pinch me?” Killian exclaimed.

Matthias rolled his eyes. “Ignore him. You know he can’t control his mouth.”

“What? Tom said I could ask him about it and then I had to look it up for myself.” He shrugged.

I nodded. “I did the same. I would have...I would have been there for him if I had known, but no one told me. Not Jax or his parents. Not even my mother, who kept in touch with Fran and Adele after she moved to Florida.” Hot tears burned my eyes again.

“Did you think maybe he didn’t want you to do that? Maybe he didn’t want you to know because he wanted you to keep doing what you were doing?” Matthias asked.

I put my empty cup down. “I would have jumped on the first plane. I don’t care where we were or what we were doing. The band would have come second.” I didn’t have to look over to know they were making goo-goo eyes or worse at one another right now. But when no one spoke, I finally stood up. Their love was stifling me.

“Blake,” Killian said sternly. “Thank you.”

My brows dipped. “For?”

“That night I almost died.” He kept his eyes cast down. “For helping Dean get me to a hospital before I bled out on the floor of the bus.”

Matthias squeezed his arm. “If someone had told me, I would have been there, too. No matter the consequences. First flight, red eye, driven all night, it wouldn’t have mattered. So yeah, thank you.” Then he shifted his body so he could bury his face into Killian’s neck.

“Yeah, of course. You’re welcome,” I told them. “You’re my friend.”

Killian still didn’t look at me. I knew that night was something he didn’t like to talk about.

“I wasn’t a good friend back then, but I’m trying to be one now,” he said quietly.

A sob escaped Matthias’s throat. They had overcome a lot over the years, but I think Killian trying to kill himself was something Matthias didn’t like to think about. It was something I kept locked away. Seeing my lead singer near death... I knew what he was going through now, but back then, he didn’t talk to anyone about his issues.

“Take care of your man,” I said, then I left them alone.