Chapter Ten

Tommy

After what happened with Blake, I didn’t get much sleep. I felt terrible for letting him leave, but what was I supposed to do? Chase after him? Get on my hands and knees and beg him to stay? Tell him that I loved—

Nope.

Not going to even think those words as much as I still felt them. I hadn’t meant to make him feel so horrible. I cared for him. I missed him, and I wanted to fix things between us, only to push him away again. I was such a shitty person.

I finally gave up trying to sleep around six in the morning, took a quick shower, and dragged myself downstairs, only to find my brother and his fiancé sitting at the kitchen table. My parents were already off to work. I knew they were both going to be off after today, and with the wedding stuff starting tomorrow, things were going to get super hectic around here.

I couldn’t help but stop and watch the way they were for a moment. Hands linked, heads pressed together, happy, in love, oblivious to me standing at the bottom of the stairs. Maverick giggled at something Jax said, dipped his head, then moved to press his lips against my brother’s. It wasn’t a suck-your-face kiss, just a soft one that had my brother leaning closer to whisper something into Maverick’s ear. It made me just a little bit jealous. Because I’d had that for a little while.

“Good morning,” I muttered as I finally made my presence known. “Do I smell coffee?” I moved to grab a cup from the cabinet. When neither one of them said anything, I turned to look at them over my shoulder. “Everything all right?”

Maverick gave me a shy smile. “Will Blake be joining us?”

“Blake’s not here,” I grunted, then poured my coffee and took a sip. The bitter taste didn’t bother me.

Jackson made a noise in his throat that I knew was to remind me to be nicer. “Did he leave already? We’ve been up for a while.”

“He didn’t spend the night, if that’s what you’re fishing around for,” I answered and turned my back to them so they couldn’t see my face. Or the tears that burned my eyes. I placed my cup on the counter as I took a few deep breaths. I needed to get myself together.

“What’s your plan for the day, Tom? You want to go to the bakery with Jax and me?” Maverick’s voice was soft, cautious.

“Sweetheart, I’m sure Tom doesn’t want to hang out with us. Maybe he and Blake have plans,” Jackson said.

I turned back around to find Maverick standing before me.

“Tom.” He reached down to grasp both of my hands between his small, cool, calloused ones. I noticed his nails were painted black. “I know you’re not comfortable going out, but I would love for you to come with us. If anyone says anything, I’ll punch them in the face for you.” He smiled brightly at me, and his emerald eye sparkled with happiness.

It had been years since I had seen that look. My brother did that to him. It made me want to return it. It made me want to keep the smile on his pretty face. Was that how Maverick affected everyone? Did he have some weird pull about him, like Blake?

“I really miss those donuts they used to make. You know what ones I’m talking about? With the little red and white sprinkles on them. Highlight of my Saturday morning growing up.”

“Those were the highlight of your mornings?” Jackson balked, which only made Maverick giggle. The lights reflected off his septum ring with the movement.

“Are you getting jealous over a donut, Goose?” He winked at me before he dropped my hands so he could walk back over to my brother. “Honestly, sweet donuts covered with vanilla frosting and sprinkles. What could be better than that?” He squealed when Jackson went to grab him and went running out the back door like his ass was on fire.

Jackson stood up. “I think Maverick wants me to chase him.” He grinned, then darted out the door behind him.

I watched as my brother, all six foot six of him, rushed after Maverick, who honestly looked like he wasn’t even trying not to be caught. The sounds of happy laughter filled the air as Jackson caught Maverick, grabbed him, and swung him around. Maverick’s legs immediately wrapped around his fiancé’s waist. I turned away before I could see any more, but not before my heart felt like it was ripped from my chest. I wanted that.

What if I had told Blake I still felt the same? What if I went over to his house this morning, right now, confessed I still felt the same, and told him I was sorry for everything? I could, at least, go over to his house and smooth things over with him. We were doing pretty good last night until I fucked it up. I wasn’t sure I could do a relationship, but I could be his friend again. I missed that. Although I wasn’t sure I could go back to that either since his dick had been in my mouth, his in mine, and I had been inside of him. So many times.

“Tom?” I looked up to find Jackson standing there, Maverick wrapped around him like a koala. Jesus, it was cute to see the drummer from Mulligan Downtown, the supposed tragedy of the band, so open and carefree. “We’re going to the bakery. You’re more than welcome to come with us.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to refuse. “Okay.” I didn’t miss the way Maverick’s eyes widened or Jackson’s gasp to my response.

“Really?” Maverick clapped his hands together before he tapped my brother’s shoulder. When Jackson put him down, he rushed over to me again. “I want us to be friends, Tom. I know I wasn’t always kind to you. After what happened with Jax, well, I wasn’t nice to a lot of people. I’m sorry about that.” He pressed his lips together. “Can we? Be friends, I mean?”

I nodded. “Yes, of course. I’d like that, Mav.”

He threw his arms around me, and when I hugged him back, the smile on my brother’s face told me I was doing the right thing.

***

Maverick was a lot of fun. He teased Jackson a lot, but the way they looked at one another, kept their hands laced together, made me realize how in love they really were. I had always wondered about their relationship before Jackson left for college. The way Jax had looked at Mav, the way Mav returned those same looks, but they never touched sexually or kissed in front of anyone. Then Jackson left, and Maverick turned into an absolute monster.

“Can I ask you something?”

We had gotten donuts from the bakery, but instead of eating there, we took them to go and came back to the house. I think they both did it for me. For the looks I got the second I stepped inside the bakery. Now the three of us were sitting around the pool, our feet in the water, sipping our iced coffees and devouring a dozen donuts. Maverick might have been small, but the man could eat.

Maverick wiped the frosting from his mouth. “He kissed me first, but only because I asked him to.”

“Uh, what?” I nearly shot coffee from my nose. “How’d that go down exactly, and how did you know that’s what I was going to ask?”

He patted Jackson’s hand. “We had finished practice; Dean was giving Killian shit about Matty watching him with heart eyes.” He used quotes around the last part. “Blake had left to go see you, and while in my room, I told Jax I noticed he looked at me in the same way Matty looked at my singer. I asked him if it would be all right if we kissed. He practically mauled me.”

“I did no such thing!” Jackson gasped with a smile.

Maverick grinned. “Lies.” He blushed and ducked his head. “I’d been thinking about it for a few weeks. How to get your brother to kiss me, so it was a good excuse. Good thing it worked out in my favor.”

“Wait, you what?” Jackson looked surprised. “You never told me that before. Mavs, you just made it seem so casual.”

I smiled as I watched them. “You realized you were gay then?”

“Nope, I was in serious denial about my sexuality for years.” Maverick reached over to lace his fingers through Jackson’s. “Now I know that I’m absolutely demi, queer, or gay? Maybe, but I’m not sure. I may never know. I don’t really want to label myself.”

“I love it when you talk like that,” Jackson growled, then leaned over and pressed a kiss against Maverick’s lips. “Find yourself a man like this, Tom, because he’s a dream come true.”

Maverick blushed as he tipped his face up. “You’re my dream, Goose.”

“You’re both disgusting, and I love that for you,” I teased before I grabbed another donut from the box. “Now the two of you are getting married, Matty and Killian are engaged. Half the band is taken.”

Jackson met my eyes. “You can talk about it if you want. You know we won’t judge you, Tom.”

“Mm, probably best if I don’t.”

I dropped my gaze to the pool and watched the pine needles that drifted by, caught in the current. It didn’t feel right to tell them about Blake when he wasn’t here to defend himself. Not that he did anything wrong. It was all me. Talking to my therapist was one thing, but not to my brother and his fiancé.

“You assholes not going to answer your phones or the door?” Killian’s voice bounced across the yard as he walked through the grass. “Oh, and you got donuts. Babe, do you believe this?”

Matthias rolled his eyes. “We had breakfast already. Bacon, eggs, and toast. Just what you asked me to make.”

“Donuts, babe. With sprinkles,” he whined.

“You’re not five, Kill,” Matthias teased. He started to sit down on a chaise lounge, only for Killian to stop him so he could sit down first. He motioned for Matthias to sit in front of him between his legs.

Maverick leaned into Jackson. “Did you need something? Where’s Dean?”

“Here,” Dean answered as he came around the corner. His green hair had gotten so long he was wearing it in some weird man bun, but he was able to pull it off without looking like an asshole. “What, no room for me?” He gawked at his best friend.

Killian held up his middle finger. “Move along, bud. It’s me and Matthias time.”

“I think I could fit if you move your bubble butt over.” Dean started to climb onto the chair.

“Wait, bubble butt!” Killian tried to push Dean away, and Matthias started laughing. “I don’t have a bubble butt, you thick-thighed mother—” He reached across his fiancé to grab at Dean just as the chaise lounge collapsed beneath them onto the deck. “Nice job, dick. You broke it.”

Matthias laughed even harder. “Bubble butt!” he roared.

“Oh, you think that’s funny?” Killian’s lips twitched like he was trying not to smile. “I’ll have you know millions of fans love my ass. You love my ass, babe. There’s a Twitter page and an Instagram account dedicated to how fabulous it is.”

Matthias snorted. “I bet there is. Wait, how do you know that? Do you follow those accounts?”

“Yes, yes, I do,” Killian answered proudly. “There are even shots of your ass in there, too.”

Matthias flushed. “No.”

“Oh, yes, look.” Dean climbed to his feet with his phone in his hand.

Killian growled. “Don’t look at his ass, man.” He climbed to his feet and helped Matthias up. “Uh, sorry about your chair. Tell your parents I’ll buy them a set of new ones.”

“Yeah, they probably won’t care. They’re older than I am,” I assured him.

“Wait, did you call me thick-thighed?” Dean suddenly blurted. “I don’t have thick thighs. I couldn’t pull off these skinny jeans if I did. Right?” He pulled at the skintight part of pants he wore.

Matthias leaned forward to say something to him, but I wasn’t paying attention. My eyes were glued to the blond-haired, green-eyed man who had stepped onto the deck wearing his own pair of black skinny jeans and a Mulligan shirt that had the arms cut off and sides ripped out. My breath cut in my throat at the sight of him. Blake was beyond beautiful.

“I need to talk to you,” I blurted. Everyone turned to stare at me. “Blake, I mean. I need to talk to Blake. Alone. Please. Right now.”

He looked like he wanted to say no. Like he wanted anything but that, but instead he started toward the house, and I had no choice but to follow him inside.