Chapter 10

Chapter

Ten

R hodes doesn't drive some expensive piece of crap luxury car. No, he has got a four-wheel Jeep, which is far more comfy and doesn't smell like new leather and male egos. It's a two-seater, and the back is all filled with metal cages. Rhodes glances at me, driving through the pouring rain. "They're not to put you in, if that's what you're worried about this afternoon." I roll my eyes at his joke, and he laughs. "You did well in class today, but you're holding back."

"You pitted me against Annie, and she is tough," I remind him. Rhodes's class this morning was actually enjoyable. Hollis is brutal, but Rhodes, he is strict but instructive. I barely wanted to leave his class to go to history with Tutor Jettie, who waffled on about the stars in our solar system for two hours. Rhodes had us again for the afternoon class, and he made us all meditate for an hour before using our new skills of enjoying silence to figure out where a weapon is being thrown from in a dark room. I caught all four of the arrows shot my way, but Annie didn't. She got hit in the leg, and I had to half carry her to the healers. There was a line at the healers by the end of Rhodes's lesson. "Please tell me you aren't planning to do the dark-room arrow-shooting again."

Rhodes winks at me. "Not for you. It was too easy, almost like you can see in the dark." I go silent. I can't see in the dark, but my Nexus can sense things in the darkness. Rhodes picks up on my uncomfortable mood like we are mated and he can actually feel my emotions. "I don't know how much you know about the rescue shelter, but there are some things I should update you on."

"I know some. Annie's told me that you go to expensive functions to raise money for it, and it was your mum's thing," I offer, shivering from the cold.

Rhodes turns the heater up to full blast. "Yeah, my mum opened it. My mum used to rescue animals and bring them home until my dad said enough was enough. He bought her the rescue and donated the first million to set it up, with a family friend adding the rest. She passed away before it could even be opened."

I reach over, touching his forearm. "I'm sorry. I know what it is like to lose a parent, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone."

He looks at me, just for a second. "There are two memories that rip my heart out, and her death is one." We both know what the other is. I remove my hand. Rhodes switches his gaze back to the road. "I was seven when she passed, and I wish I had more memories. Dad has had his lovers on and off, but no one serious. He said losing his Nexus mate froze his heart and it will never beat again for another. It's the one time we have understood each other."

I want to scream that I'm sorry. That I never wanted to hurt him. That he deserves so, so much better than me, but I don't. I sit silent, like a coward. Rhodes turns right onto a dirt track road in the forest. "My mum's best friend was the co-owner, who now fully runs it with me, but I'm more of a behind-the-scenes owner. I prefer working with the animals over shuffling paperwork and making money stretch. I go to the events purely to raise money because my family name, Asura, works well for that. It's not something I actually enjoy, to be honest with you."

"It sounds like hell," I admit. "Please don't ask me to come with you to one."

He laughs, the deep sound filling the truck. "I'll keep it in mind for when you piss me off next. Anything else you don't like?"

"Bugs." I frown. I can't bring myself to tell him about my fear of water yet. "And if you use them against me, I'll hate you forever."

"What did bugs do to you?" he jokes, but a memory of thousands of them crawling all over my skin as I scream flashes into my mind. My dinner threatens to rise in my throat, and I quickly look away to the window at the wide fields and remind myself I'm not back there. I'm alive. I got out.

Rhodes is silent for the rest of the short drive. The shelter is on this side of town, on the outskirts though, and nestled in a forest near the wall. I can hear the dogs barking halfway down the road towards the square warehouse-type building with a wooden-framed house built on the front of it, with many windows. There are fenced areas all to the left, and then the kennels right behind them. Out in the front is a gardener's dream, a bursting flower garden leading from the car park to the front door where a lit-up sign for the rescue is displayed with Rhodes's last name under it, along with the name Marum.

"Good afternoon, Rhodes!" a woman shouts as we climb out of the car, and I look over to see she is walking two Rottweilers. Behind her, a younger blonde teenager is walking a Shetland dog. "Marty is waiting inside for you."

"Thanks, Sissel," he hollers back, leading me through the garden. I notice how Sissel's eyes stay on Rhodes longer than needed, and when her eyes flicker to me, she pales at whatever is on my face before hurrying off with the dogs, who bark loudly. Rhodes turns back and when he looks at me, he grins. "Ask."

"Ask what?" I huff, crossing my arms. I know he might have had a relationship and they all will probably have relationships for years to come. I made my choice and I have to live with it. Monsters like me don't get reverse harems and happy endings. We deserve to burn in hell.

Rhodes touches my back, flattening his palm, and his touch instantly calms me. "Ask anything and I'll always tell you the truth. But for the record, I've not dated anyone. Ever." Shock makes my mouth pop open, and then I shut it. "I was born for you. I am yours, even if you regret us forever." He shrugs. "Even when I didn't know you, I felt you in here." He touches his chest, where his heart beats. "And I'm aware you have that Harris boy?—"

"Harry!" I interrupt. I should tell him Harry was never more than a friend. No one was ever more than a friend to me, because I…

He shrugs a shoulder. "Or you had other relationships. The thought of anyone touching you makes me want to rip every male's eyes out and break their hands, but I accept you. I don't come with any expectations, and I'm not Hollis. Ask next time. Don't go into your mind and wander there."

"Rhodes…" I whisper. He searches my face, and instead of making me give him an answer, he leans in and kisses my cheek. I close my eyes, enjoying every second his lips are on my skin. Of course, my Nexus decides this is the point to go for a catnap in the day and completely ignore my internal panic of how Rhodes is seeing right through me. How with his words and actions, he is stealing my heart from my chest. Rhodes takes my hand, linking our fingers like before, and leads me into the rescue.

In the reception, two Dobermans start growling at me the minute I walk in, and the woman with them has to walk around us to escape through the door as Rhodes speaks to the receptionist, getting me a badge. I clip the badge onto my denim jacket as Rhodes opens a door to the inner kennels. The barking and the ear-ringing noise of the kennels is deafening, but Rhodes leads me into a small cat cafe at the front, where several people are sitting, with cats walking around or purring in their laps. "The cats in here can't be re-homed due to needing medications or they are too old, so no one adopts them. This way, they get fuss and love, and people love cat cafes."

I stroke the head of a black cat, who is the only one who comes near. He has a blue collar on and a bell that rattles when he bumps his head into my hand for more fuss. Black cats are never scared of me, and I've yet to understand the reason behind that. Maybe they are just the fearless, badass versions of cats that get badly treated by humans.

Rhodes tugs me along after a few minutes. "You can choose to work in the cafe if you want, or you can come back in the back here with the dogs and cats. We have a few rabbits, ferrets and hamsters, but they are usually adopted pretty quick. There are always jobs to be done either way. I'll find something for you to do, but for today, just shadow me to get a feel for the rescue."

I really don't deserve to be his anything. He is too nice to me. "Okay."

I brush my hands down my jeans, which are the same colour as my jacket, and underneath I have a black retro top that has a silver Poké ball across my boobs. Rhodes complimented my top immediately, and I just wish Onyx was around to see it. I know he would hate it. Talking of which, I tap the rune on my right wrist a few times for fun. Rhodes unlocks a door with a keycard, showing me how to use it before handing me a new one, which I slide into my pocket. "How is she this morning, Marty?"

The woman who I assume is Marty rises to her feet from her chair at her desk. "No change. I thought we were going to lose her last night, to be entirely honest, but she stuck around." Her hazel eyes drift to me. "Oh, you must be the runaway mate."

"This is Gwen. Gwen, this is the other owner I was telling you about. Marty." I smile at her, but she doesn't smile back. I get the impression she took Rhodes on like a son, and I'm the runaway mate who broke his heart. I don't blame her for disliking me. The woman is older, with peppered brown hair, but her expression is soft, kind when she looks at Rhodes. She's wearing all blue scrubs around her curves.

"Nice to meet you. Are you a vet as well as an owner?" I question.

"I am professionally trained," she briefly answers. "I've had this one to go through veterinary school, but he's never finished it."

I frown. "Why not?" He doesn't answer, to the point where he gets awkward between the three of us. "Who were you talking about before?"

"It's a sad story. We had a golden retriever in, and she was pregnant. Unfortunately, only two pups survived of eight, and she's not in a good state." Sadness washes over me.

Rhodes leans in. "You actually met her in the crowds on your first day here. Remember?"

"I always remember a dog when I meet one. Especially a golden retriever. They are my favourite breed," I admit. "She was sweet when I met her."

"Well, she had two pups. One who's very white and big, and the other one who's more golden and tinier," Rhodes explains.

Marty nods her head to the screen, where there is an x-ray up of a leg. "The small one has a leg deformity. I haven't told the owner yet, but this isn't a good sign. The white pup is well and feeding good, though. I don't know if the smaller one will be able to run; if she does, not very well."

"What's the owner said?" Rhodes questions, crossing his arms.

"He's too distraught to make decisions at the moment. He says he's too old to deal with the pups because they need bottle feeding every two hours on the dot. We will need to keep them at the rescue and raise them here. If we can't keep the mum alive, I don't see him taking any of them home. Truthfully, I don't think we will be able to keep her alive for long, so I might take one of them home and find a volunteer for the other." She explains the plan. "Such a shame the mum had cancer all the way throughout her body and didn't show signs until labour."

Rhodes sighs. "We wouldn't have known. Dogs hide their illnesses too well." Rhodes leads me into another room, with glass doors, and in the first kennel on a soft bed is the golden retriever I saw. The pups are nowhere to be seen, but even I can tell she wouldn't be able to feed them at this point.

The old man looks up as Rhodes lets me in. Marty comes in next. "I remember you from the street. Do you work here?"

"Newly employed." He doesn't say anything as I approach them both and then stroke her head, but she doesn't move or wake from her sleep. "She doesn't have long left." Death is easy to sense when you're used to it. The old man nods, giving me a grim smile.

I clear my throat. "Are you taking the pups back to be with you? They talked about keeping them in the shelter, but I don't know your plan."

"No." His decision is firm. "They need the best chance they can get, and I'm an old man. Getting up every two hours to feed pups—it wouldn't work. I don't have a family to help, and my wife isn't as mobile as she used to be. We were not planning to keep any of the puppies, because her getting pregnant was an accident. She got out one night from our garden. I don't even know what they're half of, but I know they are safer here."

"I'm sorry," I softly tell him. He inclines his head and goes back to stroking his dog. Marty stays to speak with the owner about the plan with the pups and mum, and I leave with Rhodes.

I don't even notice I'm crying until Rhodes cups my cheek, wiping a tear onto his thumb. "This is why I believe you're a good person and I'm not giving up."

"Rhodes, just stop. I'm not a good person and you should hate me like the others. I deserve their hate, and honestly, when you're treating me like I'm precious and good, it is more punishing than anything they are doing to me," I snap.

He keeps his expression blank. "Fine. Let's get to work."

Rhodes doesn't speak a word to me for the rest of the two hours we spend here. He visits every part of the huge shelter, and everyone likes him. Not one person so much as even frowns his way. They all brighten up when he is near. It's harder to break his heart, I realise, than the others. They are nearly as fucked up as I am, but Rhodes? He just became a good person despite the life he was given. I wish I could be like him. I wish I could let myself be his.

There must be at least a hundred and fifty dogs here, and it seems very well run. Everything is spotless and clean, and I end up back in the cat cafe where I happily serve food to starving Nexus and humans, while petting every cat I can get near. The black one, named Charlie, stays at my feet, and he is my favourite. When the sun has completely disappeared behind the forest outside, Rhodes finds me and tells me we are leaving.

The sound of my stomach rumbling breaks the silence of the car ride back. Rhodes grumbles. "I made sure that dinner was brought up to your room on the days you work with me. I will bring you snacks to eat before and after next time. I didn't think ahead."

He is still looking after me.

Oh, Rhodes. My monster would eat you up like a favourite snack if I let her. "Thank you, I appreciate that. I also think I'm getting paid way too much for the work, by the way. You can ask Marty to lower my salary."

"You get the same salary as everyone else working there," he quickly answers, but I know he is lying. "We get funding for our staff from the Supreme Alpha and the betas. Including massive donations from your own family. Are you going to see your grandmother at any point? She has asked to come to the academy five times."

"She has?" I frown. I met her once, when I was five, and all I remember is a bitter woman who hated me. I never understood why she hated me, but I remember her screaming at my mother that she had ruined my father's life and that his sense of honour was killing him. "I don't think I want to see her. Not unless I have to."

He looks at me and nods once. "I'll make sure she can't access the academy, and if you change your mind, let me know."

"I spoke with Annie, by the way, about tickets. She's asking her dad for permission for us both to go, and she finds out tomorrow when she usually speaks to him. Annie told me there is a big match in six weeks?" I inquire.

"Yes, Morriganis City are travelling to us. It was nearly cancelled with all of the attacks." He turns onto the road for the academy, and I watch the muscles in his arms flex. Damn. "I'd love to have you there supporting me—as a friend, of course," he quickly adds before pursing his lips.

"It won't be a date but I'll be there." I have to draw a line right now before he gets the wrong idea.

I've upset him. It's for the best, though. I know it is, but it hurts to do it. Rhodes tries to make small talk a few times, but I block him out, focusing on the window until the car stops. I don't bother saying goodbye as I rush away, and I only slow down when I get to my floor. My shoulders drop as I turn the handle to our room, knowing Annie will be back. But she isn't alone this time. There's a curly-haired redhead sitting with her, and she is sobbing in Annie's arms. Annie looks up. "Shut the door behind you before someone hears." She strokes the woman's arm. "You're okay. It's my roommate, Gwen, and she is lovely. She won't say a word."

"Do you want me to leave? I can wander around the academy?—"

Annie shakes her head. "No, you will get told off for being out of your room."

I awkwardly move to my bed, where there is a boxed-up dinner for me and a coffee in a stainless steel mug waiting on a tray. It feels awkward to eat, so I sip on my coffee as Annie calms her friend down. I remember her from our trainee group, and she usually avoids me. I didn't know Annie even knew her. Annie sits up as the woman straightens and wipes her eyes with a tissue. "I'm sorry I haven't said hello before, Gwen. My name is Sara. I'm not… He doesn't like it when I talk to new people."

I frown. "Who doesn't?" Annie and Sara look at each other. "What's going on?"

Sara puts the tissue down and looks at me with bloodshot eyes. "I have one Nexus bond." She sobs slightly and I don't understand what she's really telling me until she moves slightly and I see her wrists. There are lots of different coloured bruises on her lower arm. When she tucks her red hair behind her ear, I see a matching bruise on her cheek too. Fury feeds my blood. "Did he hurt you? Your own mate?"

She shakily nods. "Yes, he's got a temper, and he says it's because I won't fully bond with him. Ian…he wants my power. I can see through any wall, anything really. I did the ceremony, so we are connected, but I don't want to sleep with him and draw the runes for mates to fully share power. He has a little of my power, but my power is a lot stronger than his, and he hates that. I honestly don't want to be shackled to him for the rest of my life, though. He's violent and cruel to everyone in his family, but he is seen as a perfect person to the rest of the world. I keep avoiding him the best I can, but he keeps trying to coax my Nexus out. Even she doesn't want to bond, though," she says quietly. "Tonight, he surprised me in my room. I hoped coming here would be a way to escape him for a bit. He pinned me down and tried to draw the rune on my chest."

The mate rune on your heart is sacred, not something that should be forced. I'm not sure it would even work if she was forced into any of it. "My roommate came back early, and she got into a big argument in my defence. He hit us both. I got her hurt, and it's all my fault." She starts struggling to breathe through sobs. "I'm just…I'm scared that he's going to force me at some point, and no one is going to stop him. He is a big guy, and his power is strength. There's nothing I can do about any of it. I'll just be bonded to him forever. No one will step in." She is breathing heavily with each word, like it's painful to get them out. Like the truth is actually choking her. I'm scared she is going to pass out.

Annie wraps her arms around her. "I'll ask my dad. He will?—"

"There's no one to help. No one gets between Nexus, not even the Supreme Alpha, because who would anger the Gods by telling them they were wrong?" she whispers, her voice broken. "They apparently make us perfect for each other, but what do I do? My Nexus mate is a monster."

It feels like ice stings my heart. My mates would be saying the same thing as her if they knew what lies in my soul. "I'm sorry, but it is not your fault. He's a prick, alright? Just because he's got a bond with you, doesn't mean he can abuse you."

"Fate would deem otherwise," Sara gasps.

When she has calmed down and had a drink of water, Annie rubs her back. "Can I ask why you didn't reject him?"

"Ann, I didn't know he was cruel to begin with. If I had, maybe things would have been different." Sara softly looks at me. "Everyone says you were terrible for rejecting them, but I think you were lucky. Some of your mates are not nice men. Especially the assassin."

"Assassin?" I blurt out.

She frowns and looks at Annie. "You didn't tell her who Finnegan is?"

Annie clasps her hands together. "Gwen doesn't like to talk about her mates." She looks my way. "I can tell you about the rumours, if you want."

"They aren't rumours," Sara mutters.

"Tell me," I ask, crossing my legs on my bed. "Please. Maybe it's time I'm not in the dark about them all. I can't pretend they don't exist."

Annie sits back on the bed next to Sara. "Finnegan's power makes him a threat to Nexus, and at the same time, he might be one of the most powerful Nexus in our race. He got through the academy without a scratch, and then he asked my father for a special job. My dad, well, he hires Finnegan to take out people and assassinate them if they are a threat. With Finnegan's power…it's easy for him. He soon grew a name for himself as the Starlight Assassin."

"There are other not-so-nice titles," Sara whispers. "And his friendship with the Supreme Alpha makes him not liked much in the city."

"What did your dad do that people don't like?" I ask. I remember her mentioning it when she first told me about her dad.

Annie clears her throat. "Dad rules with an iron fist and puts the safety of Starlight above anything or anyone. New laws on immigration, leaving the city, and mandatory work have been the least favoured."

"Not to mention the people that have gone missing. Many blame your dad, as it started when he first ruled," Sara adds. I've not heard any of this.

Annie wrinkles her nose. "Dad doesn't know anything about that, and he told me he has rangers looking into the disappearances. He's not evil, not like some people make out." Annie spends the next half an hour trying to cheer Sara up as I eat until she's calmed down enough, and then Annie walks her back to her room. I lie back on the bed when she comes in. She sighs. "I'm so thankful my mate is a soft teddy bear, literal bear, but acts like a teddy." She laughs at herself. "That was a terrible and distasteful joke. I just?—"

"I get it. Are you going to ask your dad to help her?" I question.

She shakes her head of blonde hair. "I can't. Sara was right, not even my dad could get between a bond. Ian Castleton is from a wealthy family, and my dad relies on the support of the rich. I'll have to figure something else out."

"I'll help however I can," I suggest.

She smiles as she grabs her pyjamas from her bedside unit. "I know. You're a good person. How was your day at the rescue?"

"Good. Sad." I tell her all about the golden retriever through the door as she gets dressed for bed.

Eventually, she comes out and drops onto her bed. "That's awful. I hope the pups make it. My dad never let me have pets."

"Neither did mine. At first, it was because I wasn't ‘responsible' enough, and then when I finally was, we were always on the run, so having a dog—" I stop mid-sentence as I realise what I just let slip out.

Her eyes soften. "My dad makes up lies for a living to keep Nexus people calm and happy. The story about you being trapped by Vian never really felt believable to me."

I search her eyes and realise she isn't going to say anything to anyone. Annie might end up being the best friend I've ever had. "Let's get some sleep. It'll be another long day tomorrow, and we can figure something out, even if it means having Sara sleep in here and following her about."

"Okay." She yawns. "I'm exhausted after the healers. They take your energy to heal you. How did you miss the arrows, by the way?"

"Dumb luck," I lie, climbing out of bed. I take my clothes into the bathroom and shower quickly before changing into my pyjamas and cleaning myself up for the night. By the time I've come back out, braiding my wet hair, Annie is already fast asleep, snoring. I tuck myself into my bed just as there's a bump at the door. My Nexus peeks out of my one eye as the handle turns. I slip my hand under my pillow, grabbing my Nex dagger as a huge bear stumbles into our room, kicking the door shut behind him with a brown, furry leg.

My eyes widen as the giant bear grumbles and lies down on the floor in between us, filling the space with only a tiny gap for me to slide out. I can sense who it is, like a sixth sense almost. "Finnegan?" My Nexus is happy that he is here, as this is her favourite mate, which feels wrong because this asshole is the worst of them all. It's bad enough dreamwalking into his head, but having him sleep in here? Fuck no.

I gently kick his giant shoulder, but he is like a furry rock. The bear grumbles before snoring loud once, and I notice his eyes are not open.

"He's not awake," Annie whispers. "Sometimes bears, because we don't hibernate in deeper sleeps like we do in the wild, end up sleepwalking. To their mate's is pretty common."

My heart races. "Is he even allowed to stay here?"

She chuckles. "Are you going to move him? I like you, bestie, but I'm not helping you drag a bear out of here."

I huff. "Dragging a bear out of the room is your limit for me? Noted."

She laughs before lying back down and soon falling to sleep. I lie down and look at the gigantic bear that's buzzing with purple Nexus magic and go to sleep rather peacefully for the first time.

Until my Nexus decides to take over.